Make This Go On Forever
by whitlockswan
Summary: (Sequel to Take Me Back to the Start) Jasper and Bella have found love with one another after tragedy, but will they be able to live a happy life with the threat of the Volturi still lingering? Changes are happening and bonds are tested, but the course of true love never did run smooth. The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story. But what will it take to get there?
1. Chapter 1

_One by one they died._  
_A massacre that took all night_  
_They had no chance, it was no fight_  
_You can't kill what has been killed before,_  
_They died... ;;_

Things seemed to have settled into a bit of a calm. They had escalated considerably, with the death toll in Seattle climbing to even higher numbers, but it seemed to have leveled out with no murders in the area for the span of a few days. That of course did not distract Jasper from focusing on the fact that a war was inevitably going to go down. Whether it was tomorrow or next month, they needed to be ready. Every night, Jasper took the family out to train in the field which was once used only for their baseball games. Bella was brought with them, because Jasper refused to leave her unguarded even for a few hours. The story told to Charlie was that she was going to be spending some evenings with Jacob, which wasn't a lie (though it killed Jasper's pride). The wolves were there, much to his disdain, remaining at a distance to watch as Jasper taught his family techniques and maneuvers that were especially handy when dealing with newborn vampires.

The killings had seemed to slow, but Jasper had not let up for even a day. He took this situation very seriously. This was Bella who they were protecting, and his family members were his soldiers. The stakes were incredibly high, and he was not going to lose anyone he cared about. They all had to be safe, and they all had to be well trained. All of them were eager to learn, especially Emmett. Jasper didn't care much if the wolves were paying close attention. If they served to be a distraction while they took care of the newborns, then so be it. He wasn't counting on them to be of any help. And if _any _of them killed one of the Cullens in place of a newborn and claimed it to be an accident, Jasper would not hesitate to retaliate and kill the entire pack himself.

When they weren't training, Jasper did his best to spend every night with Bella. Unfortunately, with Charlie still not exactly in his corner, it wasn't always easy. And when Jacob Black learned of this fact, he had used it to his advantage by coming over in the evenings. It was no secret that Charlie would have preferred Jacob to Jasper, and that was very hard to deal with sometimes. But what Jasper had to remember was that every night, Jacob had to say goodbye to Bella and he never did. He was the one Bella kissed as she fell asleep at night, not Jacob. There was no reason for him to be jealous, and really, he wasn't. It was just _annoying_.

Jasper was listening to the evening news from outside of Bella's house while she and Jacob were inside watching it. It was a painful sight for him, but he would endure it for her. From what he could hear, there had been a string of deaths ranging from the Seattle area to Port Angeles. That alerted him. _They're on the move.. _he thought.

This was it.

He wasn't just being overly paranoid. That was a definite sign that Victoria had begun her advance on them. He needed to get Bella away from here now, back to their house and out of the line of danger. He tossed a pebble at the glass on the window which alerted Jacob. The two, though rivals, did agree that Bella needed to be protected. An excuse that they were going out to dinner and maybe a movie was given to Charlie, though the Police Chief was heading out himself to investigate with the rest of the police force.

Once Jacob had brought Bella outside and Charlie was gone, Jasper wasted no time in walking up to them. "I'm taking Bella away from here."

"I've got her. You go deal with your other leeches."

Jasper's lips pulled back into a slight snarl. "No, the plan was clear from the start. I would take her to safety and alert my family while you round up the rest of your pack and meet at the field."

Jacob shrugged. "Don't care. I'm taking her with me."

"No you're not," Jasper said, his eyes narrowing. "I don't have time to waste arguing with you. I have to take her." He reached out for her hand. "Belle, we need to go now."

* * *

It was hard to allow anything to live up to how wonderful Bella's birthday had been. But there hadn't been much to challenge it once it was over. It was a toss back into reality once Bella and Jasper left their house. It was calm - for awhile - in terms of deaths being reported in the news. But those on the inside knew that there was nothing to relax about. Jasper certainly hadn't. He had done so much in terms of training that even Bella was in awe of his leadership skills. She had never seen him in action until after her birthday, having to miss the first intensive training session that took place before it. But it was good for her to bear witness to what was going on. It could have been taken in two ways: one on hand, it made everything real. There was no denying that soon enough, all of this teaching would need to be utilized to defeat a common enemy that was going to be admittedly tough to beat. On the other hand, watching the training made Bella feel a little more confident. Seeing it all unfold with two powerful forces made it seem as if they had a chance for victory.

Any other instructor wouldn't have handled it as well as Jasper seemed to be doing. Bella knew that he didn't like the wolves - to put it mildly - and yet, he was always very collected and kept his head on straight when it came to instructing them. He took a less hands on approach with them, of course, than he did with his family members, but Bella was grateful that the mutual dislike they held for one another didn't interfere with the main idea of the training sessions. There was no telling - at least not when it was quiet and there had been no more deaths to track - when the newborns and Victoria were going to strike. They constantly had to be on guard and prepared. In the meantime, they trained as much as they could. Rather, the Cullens and the wolves did. Bella, much to her disappointment, could do nothing but sit there and watch. It was hard for her to do that, considering that none of this would be necessary if it wasn't for her. She felt incredibly guilty for that reason and if something happened to anyone, be it vampire or wolf, the blood would be on her hands.

It didn't make matters any easier when the tension between the two parties was at an all time high. The two 'leaders' of the groups were the worse of both bunches. Because rather than the obvious choices - Carlisle and Sam - being the ones to make the decisions and control their sides, it was more in the hands of Jasper and Jacob on both ends. For Jasper, the reason was because he was the most well-versed in dealing with newborns, especially battling against them. The fact that it was Bella was who was the one who needed to be protected probably played a factor in that as well, considering the two of them were a lot more than just acquaintances. But it was for that last reason that Jacob took more of a prominent role in leading the wolves. His relationship with Bella gave him an advantage in the lines of communication. But because the two of them felt so strongly about keeping her safe, they clashed with one another despite the common goal.

The night that it looked like things were about to get underway in terms of the battle was a testament to that clash. As soon as the three of them were reunited, there was arguing. With things already being stressful considering a serious battle was about to take place where no victory was guaranteed despite all their training, the last thing Bella wanted was for the two of them to start fighting. She opened her mouth to protest - once...twice... to no avail. Bella couldn't help but to grow angry herself. With the way the two of them were bickering over her while she was standing right there and yet, not being asked an opinion, was more than frustrating to her.

She knew the importance of moving fast as Jasper was saying, but when he held out his hand to her, she didn't take it. Instead, she fixed him with narrowed eyes, the same being cast to Jacob a second later.

"Stop it!" she groaned. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temples. There was already too much at stake. The last thing Bella could deal with right now was being at odds with either of them. Or them being at odds with each other.

"You're both acting like idiots," she said when she opened her eyes again. "If you can't even get along for five minutes here, how are you supposed to get along _there_?" she asked, waving her hand fanatically toward the distance. Taking a few moments, she took a deep breath, exhaling with a sigh in order to calm herself. It wouldn't help either if she too was worked up.

"We're sticking to the plan that everyone agreed upon for weeks. Jake, you need to get the pack ready. I'm going with Jasper to the place we've decided on where..." she paused, making a disappointed face. "...where I'm going to be out of there way. On the way, the rest of the Cullens will be informed. You'll all meet at the field. There's no time to start changing things around now, let alone fighting like a pair of five year-olds over it," she said firmly. "Now let's go."

Before either of them could protest, she started walking off to the direction of Jasper's car.

* * *

Jasper immediately felt terrible for speaking of her as if she was not there. He truly had not meant to, but his contempt for Jacob Black had gotten in the way of his thoughtfulness. It had led him to disregard Bella's feelings, however momentarily, and for that he felt awful. He owed her a heartfelt apology, and vowed to himself that she would get one. But at the moment he would endure the guilt he felt for the sake of getting her out of there and to safety that much quicker. Bella had agreed to follow the initial plan, which gave him a victory over Jacob. It should have elated him, but he didn't have time to be smug. Instead, he just walked with her to where he'd left Annabelle. Jacob was left to deal with his responsibility to the pack by himself.

As always, he opened the door for her when they reached the car, then got in on his side. This was routine, but he'd done it at a much quicker pace. Once they were both inside, he turned on the car and sped off. Jasper did not normally push Annabelle's speed, but tonight they were in serious need of it. Victoria's army could come at any time, and he had to make sure Bella was safe and secure when that happened. He did not want to leave her alone, but the problem was that they needed every fighter they could get. They had no idea how large Victoria's army was, but it was certain that they outnumbered them. He would do everything he could to make sure all the intruding vampires stayed on the battlefield and did not stray.

Jasper sped across town, pushing Annabelle as hard as he could to race to the home he'd just recently purchased for them. It seemed like a safe, neutral location. He did not think Victoria would know where to find it.

"I'm sorry," he said while driving. "Really, I.. I didn't mean to disregard you." He frowned deeply as he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "I'll apologize to you properly once things have settled.."

He paid no mind to most of the street signs and lights, flying through them when he could. Along the way, he took out his phone and called Carlisle, informing him that they were going to have to meet on the baseball field that night, because this was the moment they had been working towards all this time. The car did not stop until it was inside the garage of the large, lake front home he'd purchased for the two of them. This house, it already held beautiful memories for them. Jasper hated that it would be forever associated with this particular event, but it could not be helped. It was the only place he could think of that she'd be safe, but close enough where he could get to her if he needed to move her somewhere else really quickly. Once inside, he got out of the car and opened her door again.

Now came the hard part. He had to leave her there. Jasper did not feel right about it, and he certainly didn't want to. But there really was no choice. If he stayed, the whole family would be at risk and it was highly likely that one or more newborns would get away and possibly find them. He didn't want Bella at risk of being attacked either, though. It was a very difficult position for him to be in. But he ultimately had to choose the least bad of all bad options.

"I should go," he said softly. "I need to meet the others to prepare." What else could he say? This was killing him inside to have to leave her like this. "You should be safe here. Just, stay away from the windows, all right? I'll be here the moment it's over."

* * *

There was really no point in trying to alter her emotions or attempt to conceal them in any way. They were too strong and it was obvious that Jasper already knew the truth. The only reason Bella would be thinking about trying to hide them would be for his benefit. She didn't want to overwhelm him with any sort of negativity when there was enough of it already. She was scared. That was the strongest emotion that was coursing through her. Nobody needed special ability such as Jasper's in order to detect that in the brunette. Just looking at her would be enough to tell. The fear was an almost tangible thing. She felt like she could taste it, feel the way it shrouded her like a dark cloak of some sort.

There wasn't much conversation between the two of them during the car ride. He spoke about what happened just before it and apologized for his actions, but Bella couldn't respond. She simply nodded. She felt badly that he was so apologetic over it, but at the same time, there was a part of her that realized it _was _something that he should have been sorry for and she was glad that he acknowledged that. Still, being right before such an important, a life or death situation, Bella didn't want to dwell on it. Instead, she was quiet for the rest of the drive, which was much shorter than it normally would have taken. Jasper was moving Annabelle quicker than he'd ever had while Bella was in the car and the mixture of the fast driving and the situation at hand, her stomach was starting to feel somewhat queasy.

That feeling didn't dissipate by any means once they were out of the car, however. In fact, it only seemed to intensify as opposed to anything else. There was a rock that formed in her gut when he told her he should leave, that he needed to get back to the others. She could only nod again, keeping her eyes averted from his. There wasn't time to waste. Even seconds counted in this situation. But Bella couldn't help but to wish the minutes could be drawn out longer, that they could have a proper goodbye. It had all been so rushed; she hadn't thought about what it was going to be like when she had to say goodbye to him and be left behind to wait and worry about what was going on.

Before he could go anywhere, she lifted her eyes to meet his finally. She wasn't crying, nor were there tears brimming her lashes, but her eyes appeared to be wet, as if she were trying very hard to keep her emotions further at bay. Throwing her arms around his neck, she stood on her toes and kissed him soundly, pressing her body against his. There was so much emotion and pure desperation thrown into that kiss, so telling in and of itself, that it nearly left her breathless. But until she absolutely had to take in oxygen, Bella kept her mouth firmly attached to his. It was only a few seconds long and when she pulled back, she buried her face into his chest for a moment, holding him close to her and breathing in his scent.

She didn't say the words 'I love you' but her body spoke it. She was afraid if she said them, she would fall apart. When he was going into battle, it was the last thing he needed was to remember how broken up she'd been.

"See you soon," she said, managing to get her voice not to crack. He would already know everything else.

* * *

Jasper did not intend to say goodbye to her. That was too final, too definite. It didn't feel right to him to say goodbye to her, so he didn't say it. Instead, he just held her tightly against him and kissed her deeply. All of his emotion poured out into that kiss. He loved her, and if she even had the tiniest shred of a doubt of that, it would be erased in that kiss. His love for her was so strong, it was almost overwhelming. This moment was so precious to him, but he was trying very hard not to make it into something that would make them both sad. He didn't want it to become a goodbye. He would come back. She would be kept safe. They would be together again.

Even so, they had to be cautious.

"Keep your phone near you, all right?" He said, looking down at her. He placed the key to Annabelle in her palm and closed her fingers around it. "If I tell you to go, I need you to go. Please, don't question it Belle. I'll still come find you, I'll just need you to put more distance between yourself and the fight. If the battlefield moves.. I want you safe." He couldn't let that happen, though. They had to defeat this quickly, else word might somehow reach the Volturi and that was the absolute _last _thing they needed.

"Promise me." He did not wait for her to say it; he just needed to feel it.

He looked down at her a moment longer, then brought one hand to her cheek and held it there briefly. "See you soon," he said, and let his lips pull up into a sideways smile.

It wasn't forced, despite the situation. Anytime he looked into her eyes, he could not help but feel himself falling even more in love with her, and that could only bring happiness to his heart. His eyes were a rich gold, a sign that he was at his strongest, as strong as a vampire could be without feeding on human blood. He'd contemplated cheating, but there was no guarantee he'd have the time it would take for him to recover from the pain and anguish he suffered upon drinking human blood. He also did not want Bella to have to see him with red eyes.

Jasper lowered his hand and took a step back. Turning around was the most difficult thing he had to do. It made everything that was happening that much more real. This was for her, though, for her safety. That was what drove him to turn and run off as fast as he could. He did not look back, for he knew if he did then he would not be able to go through with leaving. He ran, and ran, and ran, through the heavily wooded areas so to be away from human eyes. He did not stop until he reached the clearing. The family was already there, standing together. One sniff of the air told him that the wolves were nearby as well, in their formation.

All they could do now, was wait.

* * *

Waiting.

Nothing was more cruel than waiting.

Waiting and wondering what was happening. Bella felt as if she were blind. She was cut off from the world, unable to see anything on the outside. Instead, she was holed up with her thoughts, trying to change their bitter patterns of negativity and failing. There was nothing she could have done to take her mind off of what was happening. She tried to think of things, entertain the thought for a moment that maybe something small could do the trick. But everything she came up with was useless. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't do any other activity that would allow her to think of anything besides the battle. And of Jasper.

She should have told him she loved him. It wouldn't have mattered if she would have fallen apart in the process. She should have _told _him outright that she was in love with him. It didn't matter if her body language said it. He needed to hear it. He deserved to hear it. There was a chance that he might never be able to hear it again if... if things didn't go as they'd all hoped. She could feel it radiating from him and knew he would be able to feel it from her. The smile he gave her just before he left was better than any other expression.

Still... It was hard to stray from dwelling on the possibility of something happening that was not in their favor. Bella would be devastated if any person on their side would suffer a loss. It would be her fault. The fact that she wasn't even there just didn't seem fair. Since this was all on account of her, she should have been on the front lines. Of course she would have been eliminated within the blink of an eye, but it was the principle of the thing - she should have been fighting with the rest of her family.

Her _family_.

They were her _family_. Even the wolves were a part of that family. They were all her friends and she cared about each one of them deeply. The Cullens of course... They were different. They truly were her second family. Carlisle was another father to her, Esme another mother. Emmett was the brother she never had. Even Rosalie was someone that Bella considered to be somewhat like a sister, despite everything she'd done that year to compromise those feelings. She was still family. They all were.

But Jasper was more than that. Jasper was not just her family. Jasper was her _everything_. He was the love of her life. Bella thought it was wrong to say that past loves did not mean as much. To both of them, those they loved before were unique - Alice and Edward. But it was because of the two of them that Jasper and Bella were brought together. Bella was confident that would never change. She might never have predicted it before - nor had Jasper - but everything they felt for each other was so genuine. It would _never _change. No matter what happened that night.

Since he'd gone, she'd crawled into the driver's seat, Annabelle's key still pressed into her palm where he'd left it. It was imprinting into her skin, but she wouldn't let it go. She curled into the leather of the seat, laying her head back against it. She could smell him. His scent surrounded her there. For now, it was the only comfort she could get.

* * *

Waiting for the action to start made Jasper more nervous than actual fighting. Having to stand around, wondering when and where they were going to strike made him uncomfortable. Esme was listening to the news in Carlisle's car, in the hopes that they might get some sort of clue beforehand of their arrival in the Forks area. If perhaps, another person was killed along the way, they might hear about it and know they were close.

He paced a little, stopping to listen every now and then. Jasper hoped he'd be able to hear some sort of distinct sound in the distance to also alert them of their closeness. A drop of rain splashed against his marble cheek, another landing on the toe of his boot. Rain wouldn't help matters any. It would just make the ground slicker and affect their line of sight somewhat. Fortunately, Jasper had trained them all in the rain more than once. They were still prepared for what was to come. At least, he wanted to believe that was true.

Carlisle felt his phone vibrate and picked it up, having received a text from Esme. "There's been a report of killings in Fairholm. They were found twenty minutes ago."

Jasper's jaw clenched. That was it. They were just around the corner now.

Another five minutes passed, and then it started. They were engaged in battle. One of the wolves had howled, and not even a split second later there were dozens of newborn vampires darting out of the wooded area to the left of the clearing. They'd barely had time to step into formation to meet them head on, but somehow they did it.

All of the Cullens were tangled within swarms of newborn vampires, fighting for their lives and for the unsuspecting slumbering humans in Forks, as well as the one human girl waiting in anticipation and fearing for them all. Bella's face was all Jasper could think of as he clashed against the newborns who tried to take him down. But as much as he wanted to keep thinking of her, he had to erase the image of her face from his mind. Her safety was still his goal, but he could not associate her with this violence. She meant more to him than that. He couldn't think about how much he loved her while he was slaughtering newborn vampires. It wasn't fair, really. These poor creatures didn't stand a chance. It wasn't their fault that they were raised in this way. But he knew he couldn't let his conscience interfere. It was very fortunate that all these newborns could feel was rage and violence, else Jasper would have been crippled from the pain and fear from killing them. Instead, their rage just fueled him to fight harder.

He couldn't let himself worry for his family. As much as he wanted to check on them, to make sure they were doing all right, he knew it would cloud his judgment. It could cost him a newborn, or worse, his own life. But as much as he didn't want to lose focus, he couldn't help but check. He was mostly worried about Esme, his mother. It cost him a few bites, but it was well worth it to know she was holding her own.

During one small window of opportunity, Jasper took a moment to scan the field. He was looking for Victoria. She seemed absent from the fray. That didn't surprise him. She did seem the cowardly type to let others do her dirty work for her. But he also knew that she would be looking for Bella. The Swan house was left unguarded, but Charlie was not there and wouldn't be there. If they tore apart the house looking, at least no one would be there to get in the way.

His eyes fell upon a young man who seemed to be doing the same thing he was. Curious, he observed the man's movements, even when he began fighting again. That was a scout, he realized. Jasper needed to get to him if he wanted to find Victoria. He fought his way through the newborns, making his way through towards him without drawing attention to himself. The young man turned and disappeared into the woods, and Jasper ran after him. He felt badly for abandoning the field, but he felt confident that his family could hold their own. They also knew that there was a chance that he would have to leave, if he needed to go to Bella. That was the plan. He tracked the man through the trees, until he saw a flash of bright red hair. The two whispered and then ran off together. Jasper followed. He slowed his pace, until he realized where they were going. Victoria had managed to track Bella's scent, he'd heard.

It hit him, then. He'd left the top down in his car when they left Bella's house. She had the scent. They were going to the house.

Jasper wasn't sure he'd ever run so fast before in his life. As he did, he pulled out his phone and called her, hoping she had her phone near her as he'd asked. She had to get out of there. She had to get to safety.

* * *

"Jasper? Is it over already?" Belled questioned when the phone buzzed.

"No, get in the car."

"I'm in the car. I haven't left the car. Why are you telling me to get in the car? What's going on?"

"Drive, get out of there right now. Put the top up and drive."

"It's not starting!"

"What?! I.. Damnit! Try again!"

"Jasper... it's not starting. I'm turning the key. Can you hear it? It's... I don't know. Not _starting!_ I don't know why. I don't know anything about cars!"

"Keep trying! You have to get out of there! Victoria found your scent! She's coming there now!"

"What? She- How? How could she find it out here?"

"I left the damn top down when we left your house! She went looking for you and found the scent. Try the car again!"

"I'm trying! I'm trying! It's not- It won't turn on, Jasper! Where are you?"

"I'm trying to get ahead of them and take a different route to the house. They're sticking to the road so they don't lose the scent. I'm coming through the trees. I'm close."

"What do I do?"

"I'm ahead of them, I see them on the road. Get in the house!"

"I'm... I don't... Jasper-"

"Get in the house Bella! I'm here, I'm- Get in the house!"

* * *

Everything happened in such a whirlwind.

Time had felt as if it were standing still until Bella's phone rang. She literally had not moved an inch since Jasper had gone. The key had still been pressed into her palm, her cheek sticking to the leather of the seat. She'd nearly jumped out of her skin when the tiny cell phone she'd had in her jeans pocket vibrated and sounded off loudly. If the top on the convertible hadn't been down, there was a good chance she would have hit her head in the way she was given a serious fright. The key was still clutched in her hand as she fumbled with the phone, flipping it over without looking to see who it was first. She already knew. There was no question it was Jasper; it was just a question of what he was going to say.

Bella hadn't been prepared for what he _did _say. it had taken her some time to comprehend what was happening even after he explained it to her, but time was not something they had anymore. Every half second counted and as she continually tried and failed with getting the engine to start, those seconds were passing by and bringing Victoria closer to her target. It didn't seem like their safe little haven was so safe any longer.

When the phone hung up, Bella didn't waste any time. As fast as she could, she scrambled out of the car, leaving the key in the ignition. He would be there in a few seconds, but until then, Bella didn't even know where to go in the house. She made it up to the first floor above the garage where the glass wall started and where she expected Jasper to be coming through the front door. Even though he told her to wait inside, she couldn't until she saw him and made sure he was all right. Throwing the door open, she ran outside.

It was only a couple of steps before he caught her in his arms. There was no telling how long they had, but Bella guessed it would only be about a minute or two from the way Jasper sounded on the phone. But in that time, her arms wrapped around him so tightly, it was as if she were molded to his body.

"I can't- Are you- Where-?' Sentences were impossible at this point.

* * *

All he wanted to do was take her and run. If he could have, Jasper would've put her on his back and run as fast as he possibly could have in order to get her to some place safe, far away from all this danger. He didn't care where they had to go. He would've run to the ends of the earth if he had to in order to make her safe. There was very little that could be done to achieve that safety, though, if her predators remained living. Victoria would follow them to the ends of the earth if it meant getting to Bella. That was the only thing keeping him from running with her right this very moment. While he wanted to help his family and keep them safe, he knew that Victoria's vendetta was with Bella. She would go wherever Bella went.

As she propelled herself against him and threw her arms around his neck, Jasper slid his around her waist and held her to him. He had to remember to keep his strength in check and not squeeze her as tightly as he would have liked, else he would've crushed her torso. He needed her to get in the house, away from the fight that he knew was about to ensue. He'd asked her to stay in the house, but he should have known that she wouldn't listen. He couldn't be upset with her for it, though. It actually gave him some peace of mind to feel her, to know she was still safe and alive.

He knew he had to be a bit of a sight. His shirt and pants were torn from the battle, his hair in a disarray of curls, and new angry red bite marks would be visible beneath the torn fabric of his clothing. But he didn't care about any of that. Jasper kissed the top of her head and then pulled back enough that he could kiss her lips.

He'd intended it to be gentle, so has to calm her down, but he could not help but be passionate about it. He kissed her deeply, tightening his arms around her. It felt so good to hold her; it was the most precious reminder as to why he was fighting as hard as he was. But he had to stay focused. He couldn't let himself calm down, or lose sight of what was going on. Despite all he'd been doing, the worst was yet to come. And it was going to be there fast.

"Get back in the house," he breathed against her ear. "Go, now!" He let go of her and stepped back.

"Don't come out until I come in to get you. Belle, go!" He turned around and in his line of sight he could see Victoria's fiery hair whipping through the breeze as she and her accomplice ran down the road that led to their house.

* * *

Jasper made a definite mistake in kissing her like that. There was more in that single kiss than most people would feel from an entire lifetime full of kisses. It was so raw in emotion, so telling. It was passionate beyond belief. That was the kiss she wanted every day. That was the kiss she wanted just because, not on account of the fact that there was a chance it could be their last.

It wasn't that Jasper didn't kiss her passionately just because; he did. It was just different this time. Bella knew he could feel it too. The difference was what was driving the kiss. The difference, quite plainly, was that it could have been a goodbye kiss. Either way, she put as much into that liplock as she could. She memorized the way his lips tasted and the way they felt against hers. She would never forget that kiss. But the mistake was that he made it almost impossible for her to leave him after that.

His breath was colder when he spoke in her ear as opposed to when he was actually kissing her. But that was likely due to the seriousness and the desperation in his tone. There was nothing warm or comforting about it. She wanted to look after him when he went, but she knew if she did, there was a chance she would catch sight of what Jasper was going after and that would have cost her her nerves. That was something she couldn't risk. As frequently as she didn't listen when she was worried about someone she loved, Bella did as Jasper told her.

As fast as she could, she ran back into the house, slamming the door closed behind her. She went up the stairs to the second floor but stayed in the kitchen, away from the full glass wall. She wanted to see what was happening, but at the same time, there were reasons why she stayed back. For one, she knew it would be worse if she was in the line of sight of her predators. When Bartholomew had come to her house, it was worse when he could see her standing in the door. Jasper suffered bites because of that and this time, she couldn't afford to cause any harm to him if she could help it. The other reason was on account of the fact that she didn't think she could bear it if she saw him being hurt. She'd witnessed people she loved dying in front of her already that year. It was enough. If something happened to Jasper that she couldn't stop...

Bella winced and shook her head violently. She couldn't think about it. She would stay where she was, crouched against the cabinets on the floor and wait until he came to get her like he instructed. He _would _come back for her. He had to come back. There was just no other option. But even though she couldn't see what was happening, it didn't mean the sounds could be drowned out completely.

She could hear growling. There were ones that she knew were Jasper's. There were others that she didn't recognize. When Jasper had been on the phone, he say 'they' were coming. That meant Victoria wasn't alone But Bella hadn't had time to ask him to clarify or to explain to her who else would be with her. She was so tempted to go to the window and look out to see. But she was too afraid that it would mess up everything and it wouldn't go in Jasper's favor.

That idea went out the wind though when the window was shattered.

Something - and Bella was honestly scared to know what it was - hit the glass wall with such force that the entire thing shattered to pieces, cracking and breaking down in pieces with a loud clatter. On shaky legs, Bella pulled herself up. She had to see if whatever it was that caused the event wasn't in the house. It could have been Victoria launching herself at the house and trying to get there and if it was, Bella wouldn't just sit there and wait for her, cowering in a ball with fear. She would stand up to her, especially if something had happened to Jasper.

And so, willing herself forward, Bella moved to the edge of the house that was now completely open to the outside. She was still alone inside. That much was confirmed when she finally caught sight of what was going on behind the broken glass wall. There were two of them. One, fiery-red catlike vampire that Bella would never mistake, and another younger blonde one that was eager and willing to do his mistress' bidding. That's what Bella could conclude anyway, just in the minute she stood there watching. Victoria was barking orders and the blonde was following them. In her favor, it was working. The two of them working together were getting Jasper right where they wanted him.

Jasper.

_Bella's _Jasper.

He was fighting as hard as he could, but two against one made it difficult. The outlook wasn't looking as Bella hoped. That was unacceptable. That was not a possible outcome. She refused to lose him too. She _wouldn't_.

But there was only so much she could do. It didn't seem like the trio had noticed her at the window. Victoria and her minion were fixated on Jasper. Jasper was fixated on them. It was a sickening scene to observe when the outcome wasn't good for the boy she loved, the one who saved her heart. If she didn't save him now, her heart would be gone along with his life.

It was Jasper who gave her the idea. Thinking back to her birthday party, Bella remembered the way all attention was immediately on her when her paper cut drew a drop of blood from her finger. It had only taken a drop for the damage to be done. She knew that her blood was potent enough to draw the attention of even the strongest vampire. It wouldn't be a question of it attracting a blood-thirsty newborn and the one vampire who only _desired_ her blood to be spilled.

Throwing off her jacket, she pushed up the sleeve of her shirt to reveal the scar from her birthday that ran the length of her forearm. Her hand was shaking as she stooped down to pick up a piece of the glass from the shattered windows. She couldn't think about it. She just had to act. If she wasted any time in thought, she would have lost both her nerve and the opportunity to save Jasper's life.

Pressing the jagged tip of the shard of glass against the origin of the scar, she looked away, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth as she reopened the wound. She kept her shaky hand clutched so tightly against the glass that she wound up cutting her palm as well. But it had worked as far as spilling blood was concerned. With the searing self-inflicted pain, there was a steady stream of red coloring her pale skin. When she opened her eyes, it wasn't to look at the wound, but rather, to look to see if he had worked.

All Bella could see was that Jasper was a moment away from death.

* * *

**Author's Note: **We had to leave you on a cliffhanger to start off the second part of our story! But we hope you liked it. In Chapter 2, you'll see how its ends, but we guarantee it won't be in a way that you're ever expecting! Please let us know how you liked the new start. Remember again to follow, favorite, and review this story as well as Take Me Back to the Start! Welcome to our new readers! :D Cheers x

**Lyrics:** The Gatekeeper - Within Temptation


	2. Chapter 2

Fighting was what Jasper was raised to do. He had been forged in battle, to lead, train, and kill vampires, and that was his only purpose. He had once been wild, ruthless, and violent, with no morals, no heart, no capacity to feel anything resembling love, care, or kindness. After he left that life, he spent the next century trying to domesticate himself, to humble himself, to moralize and give in to the emotions he was destined to feel. The side of himself that was born to hate and fight was a side he never wanted to surface again. He'd buried it for dead long ago. Yet that day, he'd had no choice but to allow that dormant side to come forth and control his actions. He'd kept it in check while fighting the newborns, but as he saw Victoria and Riley descending on their haven, he wasn't sure that would be an option.

Almost as soon as he heard the door slam, the younger vampire advanced on Jasper. The two collided head on and tangled together, fighting, clawing, biting at each other. Riley, as he heard Victoria refer to him, was more skilled than the average newborn. Jasper could feel that he was infatuated with the fiery haired woman, almost exactly the way he had been infatuated with Maria. He deduced that taking Riley at her side was something Victoria had learned from Maria, had Maria actually made it to find her and fight with her. Jasper had not seen her in the battle, but that did not surprise him either. She rarely fought if she had others to do it for her.

He should've been able to take Riley down easily. One newborn, even if skilled, would have been no problem for him. The problem was, he could feel Bella's fear from inside the house and it was slowing him down a little. He was also wounded from the fight with the multitude of newborns. The especially potent venom had locked up his muscles and slowed him down as well. Even so, he managed to get the upper hand on Riley before too long. The two snarled and snapped teeth at each other, but Jasper had the edge on him. Unfortunately, he was outnumbered.

Just before he could tear off Riley's head, Victoria lunged and sank her teeth into his neck. Jasper felt the white hot sting of her venom seeping in through his skin, forever leaving its mark on his already marred body. He was forced back, and though he fought hard to break free, Riley managed to lock his arms behind him and restrain him. Try as he might, he could not get out of his grasp. Victoria's long fingers curled around the material of his shirt and she purred as she leaned in close, presumably to bite again. But she didn't.

The smell hit Jasper's senses even before Riley and Victoria's. Blood.

_Blood_.

It was so potent that the fire in his throat burned with the blazes of the hell he had long since condemned himself to. The scent caught Victoria's attention not long after it had infiltrated Jasper's senses. She let go and spun around. All three vampires could see Bella standing there, blood dripping from her arm. Victoria, though lured by the scent, did not advance immediately. Her desire to see Bella die a slow, painful death was stronger than her desire to feed. She was, however, lured by the sight of the human girl and left Riley to deal with Jasper himself, slowly creeping towards the house.

The violent, unfeeling monster that Jasper had hoped was long gone, suddenly sprung to life. The female vampire was advancing on prey to him, and this male was holding him back from reaching the prey first. Jasper did not see Bella. All he could see was the blood.

Blood. _Blood._

Riley was growling, snarling, and eventually let go of Jasper to run at Bella. Victoria yelled at him to stop, but being a newborn he couldn't help it. Jasper, however, would stop him. He had Riley down before the newborn could even make it halfway to the house. He struck him down, and dove on top of him, growling and sinking his own teeth into the younger vampire's neck. He bit him again, and again, and again. He rose up, then grabbed the other vampire's blond hair and jerked him up, and slammed his head down against the concrete. He did this several times, but the exchange between them probably only took about half a minute. He violently tore off his limbs, and severed his head.

By this point, Victoria, seeing she did not have much time, ran for the house. She ran as fast as she could and lunged into the air to easily reach the second floor. Unfortunately for her, before she reached it, Jasper had lunged too and caught her midair. The two crashed through another glass wall onto the floor of the room where Bella stood. Victoria, naturally, put up more of a fight. Her clawed nails ripped through his shirt and slashed down his side. He snarled and rolled her over, slamming her against the floor. They moved like two lions, fighting in the wild. Clawing, snarling, snapping at each other. Every time Victoria tried to break free and lunge at Bella, Jasper would grab her and slam her down again. It was a wonder they had not broken through the floor.

At one crucial point, Victoria broke free again. But this time, rather than try to lunge for Bella, she tried to escape. Jasper wouldn't let her get away. He grabbed her around the waist and brought her around to slam into a wall that wasn't made of glass. It shook the pillars holding the house up. He ripped one of her arms off and listened as she howled in pain. He growled, and in one quick motion her tore her head off and killed her. As her lifeless body crumpled to the floor, Jasper took a step back, his shoulders heaving as he stared at his fallen foe.

* * *

Bella's plan worked better than she could have hoped. She felt frozen to the spot where her clever trick allowed Jasper the break he needed to fight off the two vampires, creator and student, leader and follower. She wanted to look away from the scene that unfolded, but her eyes seem frozen to it as well. It was likely for the reason that she needed to make sure that he would be okay, that she had bought him enough time to successfully due the things she could never be able to. It was a gruesome scene. She'd seen deaths in front of her eyes before, but these were different. In Volterra, she was _forced_to watch two people she loved being mercilessly killed when they were innocent to any faults. Here, she was not forced to do anything. Instead, she willingly observed as Jasper put to rest the fears they'd been preparing to fight off for months and months now.

It was certainly not something that Bella would have done if she were thinking clearly. She knew for a fact that Jasper would have yelled at her to turn away if he had been thinking too. But it wasn't a matter of thought. Everything seemed instinctual, even for Bella who was still very much human and not partaking in any of the physical violence. The blond vampire was first. It would have turned her stomach if it were normal circumstances. Bella couldn't even stand it when she had to draw blood for a Biology class when it was only a droplet. But now, she was covered in her own blood and watching a gruesome, although not bloody, death take place before her eyes. Every time Riley's head hit the concrete, she winced. Every time a limb was removed, her teeth grit together a bit tighter.

Victoria was just as bad. It was harder for Bella to watch because she knew that it would be more of a struggle for Jasper. That much because obvious as soon as the two of them collided. She barely managed to move out of the way when they crashed through another wall. Backing up a few feet, she noticed her vision started to blur slightly. It was only momentary, but when it cleared, she could see Jasper with the upper hand. It was only a few seconds later before it was all over and she watched the fiery red hair that haunted her for a year roll away.

She couldn't move yet. Not again from the few feet she'd managed a minute before, but she wanted to run out to him. She wanted to hold him to her and kiss him like they'd kissed before he had to fight their enemies. All she could manage now was his name. "Jasper," she whispered. It was soft and affectionate, propelled by relief at his safety.

Bella's faith in him, while admirable and kind, was much too high. At least, when it came to how in control he was of his needs. This was part of what divided their species. Jasper was _not_a human. While his body was in the same shape as that of a human male, and he was once human himself, that was the extent of it. A human's desires were typically controllable. Their needs could make them desperate, but generally, it was something that they could repress if need be. But a vampire was closer to an animal in that regard. They reacted on instinct; if they needed to feed, they fed. They did whatever they had to do to satisfy that need. Carlisle's family was rare; the coven had domesticated themselves, become more human than animal. They often did repress their needs, as humans did. But Jasper still hadn't gotten the hang of it. Sixty years, and he still could not completely tame the beast within him.

Bella spoke his name, but it did not quite register in his head. He heard her, but he did not hear _her_. When he was fighting for her before, he was defending his mate. But now, all he saw was his prey. Bella's scent was lost on him. All he could smell was her blood. That potent, sweet nectar that he needed in order to sustain himself. Jasper turned around slowly and looked at her. His eyes were black as coal; two onyxes piercing into her chocolate gaze. Jasper wasn't in there. Not the Jasper she knew, not the Jasper she loved. This was the Jasper that he'd warned her about, the one who was controlled only by his thirst for blood. She'd gotten a glimpse of him at her birthday a year ago, but that had all happened in a matter of seconds.

He turned to face her completely and tilted his head. His eyes, they drifted from hers to the pool of crimson blood dripping from her arm onto the floor. Each time it splashed against the tile, he could smell it all the more. He took only a moment to access her. She was not going to run from him? He did not sense any fear in her yet, which struck him oddly. He lusted her blood, and he found himself lusting her, too. There was a connection he felt with her. He wanted her blood. He wanted every last drop. And he wanted to relish every second of it. Very slowly, he crept towards her, turning his head a little as he became more and more fascinated. His eyes, though already as black as could be, seemed to have darkened even more.

Jasper stopped at about five paces from her. His line of sight was fixated on the blood, and only the blood. He needed it. He _needed_it. The fire in his throat was scalding, and he could take it no longer. He closed the gap between them and lunged at her. He knocked her down to the floor and pinned her there, holding her wrists up by either side of her head. The blood was right there, so close to for him to take at his will. He ducked his head and ran his nose up the side of her neck, breathing in before he looked down at her again, his lifeless eyes peering into hers once more.

His lips parted, revealing his teeth. There was nothing to stand between predator and prey now.

What Bella had never expected was that once the predators were gone, another would appear. Instead of an expression of relief, of anything positive at all, really, Jasper's face was nowhere close to housing any such emotion. Instead, his nature took over and turned him into another being entirely. A predator himself. There were a few moments when Bella didn't quite understand what was happening. She thought it was just the aftereffects of killing the newborn and Victoria. His appearance was menacing, unlike anything she'd ever seen.

Almost.

She had seen this before. Twice when it came to Jasper - once when he fought the newborn in her yard and again just now with Riley and Victoria. Once, when it came to Jasper advancing on _her_. Her eighteenth birthday. His eyes had been black and his teeth glistened as he started to advance on her. But Edward had reacted too quickly and no true damage could have been done as far as his bloodlust was concerned. There was no comparison to that sitation with the one occuring now.

Before the fight, when he took her to their house, their supposed safe sanctuary from harm, she remembered trying to memorise the way his mouth felt, the way he smelled, the way he felt against her. His eyes had been the sweetest golden color - her favorite shade. His expression was soft while strong, the way she was used to it appearing, even though this was a much more dangerous situation than their every day events. Even when he'd come back to warn her, when they had only a minute before Victoria and the newborn advanced on the house, he was still Jasper. Her Jasper. Her soldier. The kiss that had transpired then was burning, despite the chill of his mouth. It electrified her. There was no denying any emotion or feeling in that case. it all existed. It was all real.

Now it seemed like she'd dreamed it up. He wasn't the same Jasper. He was someone that Bella hadn't recognized. He was someone Bella had never seen before, someone she never met. From the moment he turned to face her, she knew something was wrong. It didn't take her but a second to understand what exactly it was. It was as if his dark eyes caused the wounds she'd given herself to intensify, as if his desire for her blood made it burn all the more. When she realized it, she still remained where she stood. She didn't fear him, not even the cold, dark look in his eyes. Even if he didn't seem as if he was there with her as the person she knew, her Jasper had to be in there somewhere. He would overcome his bloodlust. He loved _her_. As he stared at her, first into her eyes and then at her arm, Bella tried to push forth all of the love she felt for him. If she did that, he would know; he would feel it. Her Jasper would come back.

Bella's Jasper _didn't_come back.

When he didn't stop advancing on her with that look in his eyes, despite the way she was pouring out her affection for him, fear started to replace everything else. She managed to only take half a step backwards before he was on top of her. "Jasper..." she choked out. He'd warned her of this. But Bella never thought it possible. Even if it was, she knew she couldn't blame him. Even now, she couldn't - it wasn't his fault. It was his nature to hunt prey. She was the prey and it was her own doing. In compromising her life, she'd saved his. That was good enough for her. But it was more difficult than Bella ever, ever could have imagined.

The piece of glass that had been in her hand fell out. Before, he'd pressed the key to his car in the hand for safety. Before that, he'd pressed the key to this house into that same palm on her birthday, the happiest day of her life so far. That life wasn't supposed to end. That life was supposed to go on forever. The key had been a promise.

That promise was dead.

And Bella was about to be. "Jasper, don't..." she pleaded as his nose pushed against her skin. Her voice was such a soft whisper that she doubted he would have heard it unless he had such acute hearing as he possessed. She had a flash of a time when she woke up to him doing the same thing, slowly just breathing in her scent as she opened her eyes in the morning. He'd felt her smile and kissed the skin at the pulse point in her throat to greet her with an unspoken 'good morning'. Her eyes stung as she closed them.

She didn't even have time to start to cry.

His thirst would not be satiated. Jasper would not taste Bella's blood that night, despite being as close as he was to quenching his desires. Before he could sink his teeth into the open wound on her arm, Jasper was crashed into by a large, strong, furry figure. He was thrown against the wall, but it only took a split second for him to recover and come face to face with a large, russet colored wolf. The two would-be mythical creatures stared each other down only for a moment before they collided again.

The pair were only in the house for another moment before Jacob flung Jasper out the broken window onto the ground. The pavement split beneath Jasper as his statuesque body crashed against it. Jacob was on top of him a moment later, pinning him to the ground. Unfortunately for the wolf, Jasper was on such an adrenaline rush and acting on raw instinct that he was not strong enough to keep him down. The vampire shoved the wolf off and lunged at him, only barely missing sinking his teeth in for a lethal bite that would've killed him had he succeeded. Two two natural enemies clashed again and again, but this could not go on forever. Jasper was immortal and unable to lose energy, but Jacob was not. Despite his heightened strength, and though he wouldn't admit it, was weakening. Jasper had the upper hand, and was looking to be victorious yet again when challenged in battle.

Yet another strong force crashed into him and knocked him off his opponent. This time, it was his brother.

Emmett, the strongest Cullen, tackled Jasper and wrestled him away from Jacob. Jasper snarled and fought back, but he was struggling, this time. "Carlisle!" Emmett shouted, and soon after the other three Cullens ran onto the scene.

Jacob made a lunge for Jasper's throat, but this time, the Cullen patriarch stepped between and kept the wolf at bay. "No, Jacob. Jasper is not the enemy," Carlisle cautioned. "You'll break the treaty if you kill him and we'll be forced to attack you and your pack." Jacob still was growling and looked ready to kill them all if he had to. "Jacob, even if you succeed in killing my family and myself, word will reach vampires much more powerful than my coven that a pack of their enemies ended our lives. They will hunt you until you're all dead. Much more vicious, much more lethal than we could ever be. Is that how you want to be remembered by your descendants? This is not the fight you want. Go to your pack and help them. I will tend to Bella and see to it that Jasper is tended to."

"Carlisle!" Emmett shouted again, clearly on the verge of losing his grip on his raging brother. Jasper's eyes were wild, as he thrashed against Emmett and snapped his teeth at his brother's face. Rosalie and Esme were standing defensively, flanked behind Carlisle. They would still defend Jasper, their brother and son respectively, despite his actions. Jacob, though still furious, eventually turned and ran off angrily. Carlisle moved towards Jasper. He held Jasper's arms at his sides and tried almost desperately to reach his son, looking for any sign of Jasper within those black eyes. The bloodlust was too strong.

"Rosalie, help Emmett. Esme, darling, if you could start burning the evidence here and cleaning up the blood. I need to get Bella to our house and stitch her up," Carlisle said. Though he had not yet addressed her, they all knew she was still up there, alive. The scent of her blood was very strong, and though they had not seen her, they could hear her heart beating. He turned from his family and leaped up through the broken window to find Bella. "Are you up to being moved? I need to stitch up your arm again, Bella. And you've lost a lot of blood. It is also quite pertinent to get you away from here as quickly as possible."

Bella didn't comprehend fully what was happening. She thought maybe she was already dead, that Jasper had already bitten her and the transition from life into death had strange elements to it. Strange elements that involved howls and bangs and crashes. When she opened her eyes, however, Jasper wasn't there anymore. Neither was the cold shell of him who was so untouched by her strong feelings of love for him. From where she lay on the floor, she could see that it was Jacob that had been responsible for her still-beating heart. There was relief in that, but such relief didn't come from the situation that transpired afterward. It didn't matter what almost happened. All that mattered was that her foolish act of drawing attention to herself in order to save Jasper's life was now being compromised again and there was a chance that he, again, wouldn't survive.

"Stop. Jake… no," she called out. She meant to scream it, but somehow her voice didn't seem to ever get above a whisper, much less a normal conversational tone. Despite how badly it hurt to do so, she pushed herself up on her palms, one of which was opened and the other of which supported the arm that was still throbbing with intense pain from the cut. "Jacob, stop!" she attempted again, trying to force strength into her voice. She couldn't see what was happening since they'd both launched themselves out of the house. But by the time she'd finished the words, the altercation was broken up. She'd had to crawl a few feet in order to see over the edge of the wall, but every painful movement was worth it to ensure that he was still alive. Nothing else mattered. She felt instantaneous relief when she recognized Emmett holding back Jasper. A second later, the rest of the family showed up. It all started to seem so hazy to her, but she strained to hear what Carlisle was saying. Though she was listening as he talked down the scorned werewolf, her eyes wouldn't stray from Jasper.

She could see it in Carlisle's eyes. Bella could see the way he stood before he son and searched for the boy he knew. Bella recognized it, because she had done the same thing. And like Carlisle, her searching provided no results. When the doctor came to find her, Bella was finding it very difficult to find her voice again. She opened her mouth to speak when he told her of his plans to fix her wounds, but all she could do was nod. Her body was starting to shiver from the loss of blood and the color was drained from her face, lips turning off-shade as well in the process. As Carlisle scooped her up in his arms as delicately as he could, her eyes started to close, far too heavy to keep open any longer. She let them, but as the blond vampire took her away, she managed to speak just long enough to say, "It wasn't his fault."

When Bella woke up, it was very bright. The light almost hurt her eyes when she opened them and she was forced to close them immediately again until they adjusted. When they had after blinking a few times, the surroundings of where she was came into view. She wasn't at the hospital. She was at the Cullen home. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she figured it had to have been at least several hours. The biggest indication of that was the fact that her arm and her hand no longer felt like hot knives. Her body ached, but it was a dull pain she would welcome in comparison to what she felt before. Upon sitting up, she observed her arm wrapped and bandaged securely, matching the dressings around one of her palms.

"Bella." A male's voice struck her. Turning, she met Carlisle who had stood and now stood at her bedside. "You're fine. Everything is okay. You're back at the house," he explained as if she didn't know where she was. Esme was at his side a moment later, brushing a gentle hand across Bella's forehead and tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You worried us, sweetheart," she said in a melodic voice, her face soft and welcoming. Bella's lips parted and her expression changed to one of confusion. Carlisle, having expected such, just gave her unbandaged hand a pat. "The confusion you feel is normal, Bella. The blood loss is responsible for that," he explained.

But the only reason Bella was confused was because she only saw Carlisle and his wife. She turned her head to survey the room again as if she'd missed something, then shook it when she confirmed that it was otherwise empty for the moment. "Where's…" she trailed off, not understanding why Jasper wasn't there. Surely it was safe for him to be in the same room as her now – she was stitched up and her wounds were tended to in an expert manner by Carlisle himself. But her soldier wasn't there. "Jasper," she said, trying to get up. Both of the Cullen's gently put their hands on either one of her shoulders and had her lay back. "You need to rest for awhile, Bella," Carlisle said. "The blood you lost was significant. You need to recover from that," he explained.

Two more bodies entered the room. Bella perked up, eyes widening in anticipation for the third to walk in behind them. But he never did. The confusion and disappointment were clearly written across her face. "Jas- Where's Jasper?" she asked, looking at the four pairs of eyes that stared back at her, none of which were the ones she loved the most.

Where was Jasper, indeed.

When Carlisle fled with Bella, Jasper had fought Emmett and Rosalie to break free and go after them. It wasn't until Esme had cleaned up the blood that he found it easier to breathe. The scent of bleach became more potent than blood, and with Bella and Carlisle long gone, Jasper was no longer tempted. It took several minutes, but he eventually stopped fighting his big brother. The life returned to his eyes moments later, and his tension began to cease. He became more coherent about the world around him, rather than the one-track-mind he'd been functioning with previously. His throat was still burning, but he was able to think more clearly.

_Bella._

He wasn't going to go anywhere near the house until he'd hunted. He wouldn't let Emmett release him until they'd hunted. Jasper wanted very much to go home, to see Bella and make sure she was all right. But he knew he couldn't do that. She probably had no desire to see him ever again. It crushed him to think of that. and he didn't want to believe it, but how could it not be true? There were a few times along the way to hunt that his knees buckled and he was too overcome with grief to move. Emmett and Rosalie would have to lift him up and practically drag him along to their hunting grounds.

They received word from Carlisle that Bella was going to be fine, and once they returned home Jasper was specific in his orders not to allow him to be alone with her under any circumstance. He stayed in his room mostly, curled up in the corner on the floor. He felt such despair, and such shame, he could not bear to be around the others. He could not look at Carlisle, out of shame. All of his teaching and disciplines had flown out the window. All his hard work to help Jasper become more human, more like them, had been for nothing. The last person he thought would want him anymore was Bella. He'd shown her the side of himself that he warned her about. He'd done exactly what he feared he would one day do to her, and he'd nearly killed her in the process. Worst of all, Jacob Black had been the one to knock him away from her. His family would have been too late. Bella should have been with Jacob after all. He could protect her.

Carlisle was trying his best to get Bella's mind off of seeing Jasper. Esme, too. While Carlisle knew that Jasper could not help his actions, he was trying to abide by his son's instructions. "Your vital signs have all stabilized, Bella. That's great progress given how much blood you lost."

Esme, however, could not continue to ignore her questioning about her son. She excused herself and left the room, walking to the opposite end of the house to her son's room. She walked in and knelt by him on the floor, lightly stroking his curls before placing a hand on his shoulder. "She's asking where you are," she said softly, trying to soothe him. To her, they just needed to be together again, and she knew things would right themselves.

Jasper did not look at his mother. "Probably because she's terrified, and doesn't want anything to do with me."

"I think you know that's not true. I think you can feel how much she does long to see you, and you know how desperately you want to see her," she said, lightly squeezing his shoulder.

Jasper said nothing, but curled up tighter. Esme sighed softly, and then stood up and walked out. It was nearly an hour before Jasper moved again. He hated himself, and he was so, so ashamed. But he loved Bella more than anything, and he had to see her to make sure she was all right. He could feel her sadness and worry, and he didn't want that. Though he feared he might cause it to worsen if she saw him, and he couldn't blame her for that. He was a monster; there was no denying that anymore. He decided he would see her one time, to apologize to her properly and tell her he was going to leave. Truthfully, there was no point in putting on this charade any longer. He wasn't meant to be a vegetarian vampire like Carlisle's family. This had been Alice's dream, not his. He'd never fit in, no matter how much he wanted to. Who was he trying to fool? Himself? Yes, he'd been a complete fool to think he was strong enough to make this work.

He called for Emmett, who came in and much to his big brother's dismay, was told of Jasper's intentions. Very hesitantly, he restrained his brother's arms behind him, and walked Jasper to Bella's room. When they reached the door, Esme opened it and nearly cried at the sight of her son looking so miserable, with his arms locked behind him by Emmett. Jasper was looking at the floor in shame. She threw her arms around Jasper's neck and quietly pleaded for him to allow Emmett to let him go, but he refused. Carlisle looked to the door and saw them behind Esme and Rosalie, and looked down briefly, then back to Bella.

"It seems he is right here," he said, but did not move from her side. He knew Jasper would want one of them near Bella in case he broke free and came after her again. He knew his son wouldn't, but he thought abiding by those wishes would be for the best right now.

Esme and Rosalie stepped aside reluctantly, and Emmett walked Jasper into the room, but stayed far back from Bella's bed. Jasper couldn't look at her. He couldn't see her lying there, knowing he was to blame for all of this. It was too much. He didn't even think he could speak, but he loved her so, so much, that he knew she deserved at the very least, his apology.

"I..I'm.." he stammered, barely able to find his voice. "I'm so sorry." His voice hitched, and he squeezed his eyes shut. If Emmett hadn't been holding him up, he would've crumpled to the floor right there. "I-I won't stay. I just needed to apologize."

Bella was never what most people would refer to as 'normal.' It was admittedly true that though she had always been socially awkward, she didn't outwardly appear to be off the wall in any manner. She was more of a loner as opposed to someone who went along with the crowd. In Phoenix, she stood out because she didn't look like most of the beautiful, tanned girls her own age. In Forks, she stood out even more because she was the 'new girl'. She had trouble blending in, but at the same time, she wasn't extreme to any degree. The only thing that changed that was when she moved to Forks and grew close to the otherwise unattainable Cullen family.

But on the inside, Bella knew she was far unlike the majority. Those who knew her understood that as well. It didn't hurt that she was involved in other worlds now, worlds that only seemed to exist in stories and myths before she came to know them as reality. Vampires and werewolves. These were everyday words to her. These concepts were more real to her than even some normal elements of reality. But because she was not supposed to be mixed up in these worlds, it didn't bode well for her being 'ordinary'. She joked with Jasper that she was some kind of freak. Bella maintained that as being true. While being with the Cullen's and the pack allowed her to be accustomed to their ways of life, even they could not understand her manner of thinking at times, her twisted logic.

Now was one of those times. Instead of feeling relief that she was not face to face with the creature that was a breath away from killing her, she was panicked. Instead of relaxing, her body felt tense when nobody would answer her questions. Carlisle assured her that her vital signs were stabilized, but inside, she felt as if they were all failing. The only person she needed wasn't there and not having an explanation as to why was killing her more than any lack of blood. Carlisle slipped a few times and looked pained as he attempted to sway her from the subject. He'd done so twice in the time that Esme was gone from the room.

But though she had to wait longer than she would have liked, Bella didn't have to wait much longer to get answers. When she received them, however, she almost wished she wouldn't have pleaded so hard to learn them. She sat up immediately when Carlisle spoke, straining to see around Rosalie and Esme, both of whom had faces that were stricken with grief.

Grief.

That was what Bella felt surging through the room, filling every corner, every last inch. Grief. Pure, unmasked sorrow. It felt like someone had punched her in the stomach for how strong it felt. The shock of it allowed her to overlook the source just for a moment until she was able to lock eyes on the origin. Jasper. It was all coming from Jasper. She'd felt him grieving before – more than once. But this was unlike anything she'd felt from him before. This was because of her. His feelings, his emotions didn't match hers at all anymore. Because while Bella was heartbroken to see him looking like a walking shadow of himself, the amount of love she felt for him was almost enough to completely overpower anything else. There was utter relief at being able to see that, physically, he was alive. Some of the events from the evening were hazy once Bella woke up, but the confirmation that he was still there gave everything clarity in a way that she craved. It was a driving force, one that caused her to act.

All she wanted to do was get to him. All she wanted to do was take away every last morsel of sorrow he was overwhelmed with. She wanted to lift his chin so he would look at her and she could meet his eyes. She wanted to touch him and feel the cold truth in his skin that he was still with her. She just wanted to _get_to him. But such wasn't so easy. As soon as he'd spoken (in a way that would have broken her heart to pieces if it weren't so strongly bound together with love for him), she tried to get up and close the distance between them. Not even one foot could leave the bed before Carlisle's hands were on her shoulders to keep her still. "Bella, you need to stay here," he said, his voice unwavering even though the struggle of keeping her from his son, one who he couldn't stand seeing like this, threatened the stability with every spoken syllable. He hated seeing this; they all did.

"Stop," Bella protested, struggling to free herself from the doctor's gentle, but firm grip. She didn't care if she was hooked up to IV's still or that she was still shaky. She needed to get to Jasper. Her Jasper. "Please, just let me- Jasper," she said, fixating her eyes on him again. "Jasper."

Esme was having the most difficult time of it. She couldn't stand to bear witness to this another moment when her heart was screaming against it. Emmett's arms were tight around his brother as he'd been instructed, but his mother's hands were soft as they touched his chest and she pleaded with him again. "Jasper, please," she said softly. Even Rosalie, as much as she hated Bella and hated the idea of her having a relationship with her twin was having a tough time seeing him in so much pain. She didn't speak, but she too, put a hand on Jasper's shoulder to show him he was supported.

It was hard for Bella to respond to what Jasper had said under the circumstances. If she could _just_ get to him… She would throw her arms around him and cover his face in kisses and assure him that he didn't need to apologize, that she was fine and he was still with her and that - _that_ - was the only thing that mattered. But she had to struggle with the words while being forced to stay away from him and that was hard. Even still, she did the best she could. "Jasper, please! Don't leave!" she cried out, panicked that he would resort to following through on his words of not staying before she could talk to him. "Don't apologize! You didn't do anything wrong! You didn't- Just- I can't-" There was a lump in her throat that made stringing sentences together seem even more impossible. Her eyes were blurry with frantic tears. If he left, she wasn't sure even the love for him she had cementing it could have stopped her heart from breaking.

This was eating away with him, and his heart was so fragile at the moment. It was on the verge of shattering. The only two things mending it together were his love for her and the fact that she was physically going to be okay. No thanks to him, in the end. Jasper felt so ashamed, and was in so much pain that if Emmett hadn't been holding hold him up, he would've been on the floor. He was on the verge of falling apart, unable to recover from his shame and this horrible wrong he'd committed.

Bella's words... they barely reached him. He knew she wouldn't blame him, because that was just how she was. But the fact remained that Jasper hadn't been strong enough to control his thirst. What had transpired was exactly what he had feared ever since the day she came into his life, long before they were even together. Jasper was a monster, a creature that relied on instinct; he was a _vampire_. More than that, he was an unstable vampire. Why had he thought this would turn out any differently than it had? Why did he think he was good enough for her? Why did he think he was strong enough? Jasper was a failure, he'd always been a failure. And, he felt completely selfish for thinking of himself when Bella was the one lying in the hospital bed.

He could feel her fear, and he thought it was because she was afraid he was going to attack her again. That was what he'd thought originally when she saw him again after her birthday party the year before. Jasper never wanted to feel that from her again, but here it was. He was wrong, though. Right about the fear, but wrong about the reasoning. This was only because he was so quick to blame himself for everything.

Esme's pleading eyes and her gentle touch only served to sadden Jasper more. He wanted to give his mother the relief she needed, to assure her that everything was going to be all right and that she need not worry. But he couldn't do that. This situation was never going to be all right, and he couldn't lie to his mother. He couldn't lie to _Bella_. Jasper closed his eyes, and said nothing as Esme looked pleadingly at her son, even as Rosalie tried to encourage him. He just couldn't do it. He had to keep Bella safe, even from himself. When Esme finally stepped back, his eyes opened again but he kept his gaze on the floor.

"This is what I am, Bella," he said quietly. "I can't keep fooling myself into thinking I can be something I'm not. I'm dangerous, I'm a monster. The sooner all of you accept that, the easier it will be to let me go." He squeezed his eyes shut again, trying not to even think about the amount of pain he would feel when he knew his family forgot about him, when Bella forgot about him. "I won't hurt you anymore."

When Bella had been laying in the second floor of the house, bleeding and weak and a few moments away from what would have been an untimely death, she didn't recognize the person that stalked her like prey. She didn't know who the boy was with the dark, lifeless eyes and the fascination with the scent of her blood to the point where he wanted to feed from it. He was so different from the Jasper she fell in love with. As hard as she'd looked for him and begged for him to come back, he still went missing, further and further gone with every step he took toward her.

It felt like that person again. He was different – not the same as he'd been when he pinned her to the ground hours before. But he still wasn't the Jasper she knew. This one was so stricken with grief that he didn't want to stay. He didn't want to _be_with her. Esme couldn't bring him around, nor Carlisle. Nor his siblings. Nor the girl he used to be in love with.

Her Jasper would never want to leave. Her Jasper would listen to what she was saying, understand how much she _loved_ him with every piece of herself. He wouldn't go, name himself a monster because of something that he couldn't help. He wouldn't go when he already knew that Bella had forgiven him. There was no mistaking that she didn't hold him accountable. There was no mistaking that she was trying to exude all of the affection, all of the love she felt for him to try and fight against the grief he, in her opinion, unnecessarily felt. But maybe love wasn't strong enough. Maybe love couldn't bring _her_ Jasper back, _her _soldier. Bella had always thought it would be, but when he couldn't even stand to look at her, she was beginning to think she was gravely mistaken.

Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if this hadn't happened before. But it had. She had been left before for the same reasons – it was too dangerous, it wasn't meant to work, they were from different worlds and there was too much risk. She'd fallen apart then. She'd been an empty, hollow shell. But this… This was a hundred times worse. Bella didn't think she would ever recover from him leaving. She didn't even want to try. She would have rather have stepped right into the middle of the battlefield and have been torn apart by millions of hands.

But it was his decision. She'd tried and failed to convince him of otherwise. If he would feel better – even if it was just because he felt as if he couldn't harm her – then she wanted it for him. Whatever Jasper decided was best for him was what Bella would support.

Clearly, it wasn't her.

"Okay." It was all she could whisper. If she said anything else, she would have lost her composure completely. She wouldn't do that to him. She wouldn't do that until he was gone. But as she laid back down, defeat and sadness weighing heavy as she turned her back to face the opposite empty wall, it was damn hard to do.


	3. Chapter 3

_I loved you with a fire red_  
_now it's turning blue and you say_  
_sorry like the angel_  
_heaven let me think was you_  
_but I'm afraid_  
_it's too late to apologize ;;_

Walking away was not easy for him. Jasper didn't want to leave at all. He wanted to be at Bella's side, helping to nurse her back to health. But he couldn't even go near her. Especially not while her wounds were still unhealed.

He instructed Emmett to keep hold of him until he was out the front door. Esme had followed, begging her son not to leave. It wounded Jasper to hurt his mother so deeply. He could feel her despair at the thought of losing another son (it would be her third, after all...), and that hurt him almost as badly as it did to leave Bella.

_Bella_.

He didn't want to leave. He did not want to walk away from her. But this was a consequence he knew he might have to face the moment he started to get close to her. He knew he was a danger to her. He knew he could potentially kill her. He thought he'd be able to overcome it, that he was strong enough to run away before he'd attack her. Clearly, he overestimated his strength of will. Jasper apologized to Esme and nodded to Emmett to let go of him, so he could comfort Esme. Emmett wrapped his strong arms around his mother to hug her as she cried, though no tears left her eyes as she wept against her big bear of a son, the only boy she had left. Jasper took a step back, but looked up at the window he knew led into the room in which Bella was resting within.

_I love you.._he thought, closing his eyes. Through all his pain, all his shame and grief, he still loved her more than words could say. He loved her endlessly. That was why he was doing this. He had to keep her safe. He couldn't do that, being the monster that he was.

He had to leave. If he didn't go now, he'd crumple and lose his nerve. His selfishness of wanting to be with her would overtake him. Jasper nodded to his big brother and then turned and ran. He had every intention of putting as much distance between himself and the house as he could. But with each step he took, his heart hurt worse and worse, his despair deepened more and more. All he wanted to do was turn around and go back. And for as much as he tried to stay strong and keep going, he detoured.

It wasn't his intention to go there. It wasn't his intention to be so weak. But he couldn't leave. He couldn't do it. Jasper found himself standing at the entrance of the abandoned, run-down fairgrounds he'd taken Bella to a long time ago. This place held so many memories for them. It held so much laughter, so much emotion, so much love. Jasper needed this. He needed to feel her, and if he couldn't be near her physically, he'd attach himself to the emotions he felt in a familiar place.

His legs felt like two large weights as he trudged into the large, open area. It was getting harder and harder to move as he felt crippled with his depression. This was not by any means the first time his emotions had rendered him immobile. There were countless times when he'd killed an innocent that it left him crippled for hours, even days at a time. But he'd never felt it so personally before. His actions had hurt the person he loved most. He'd subjected her to witnessing him at his worse, and more than that? He knew Bella was hurt by him leaving.

He knew Bella loved him as deeply as he loved her. It wasn't fair for him to walk out the way he had, even if it had been for her own good. He knew he was hurting her, even if it was to preserve her life. That didn't make it any easier for either of them. While Jasper knew he was no longer a threat to her if he was not there, he did know he was causing her pain. There was no winner in this situation. They were both going to be hurt. He felt responsible, as this was all his fault. But he didn't know what else to do.

He stopped just in front of the carousel and stared at the bench they always at on. It hurt, but he could feel the love coming from the carousel. It was the only solace he had left.

_Bella.._he thought, closing his eyes.

A passing breeze drew him out of his thoughts a moment later when a familiar scent invaded his nostrils. It was not Bella's, he knew. This was a scent he could not erase from his memory no matter how much he wanted to. Casablanca lilies. Immediately Jasper tensed and felt on edge. But he didn't move.

"Jasper..." her voice hissed from not far behind him.

The small, Spanish beauty stood just a few feet behind him.

Maria.

She'd tracked his scent from the battle field, to the house where Victoria was slain, to the Cullens, and now to the carousel that meant so much to him and Bella.

* * *

It was amazing how difficult it was to switch back to thinking with one's mind rather than their heart when they'd come to be so accustomed to the latter.

Bella used to always think more with her head as opposed to anything else. Common sense most of the time. But ever since she moved to Forks, that had changed. Ever since she started seeing Jasper especially, her head was silenced in favor of her actions following the wishes of her heart. Everything with him was about emotions and feeling, not logic and deep thought all the time. And she had come to love that about herself. It was something that he drew out of her and the way she responded to it was effortless and easy. But when this whole situation transpired after the fight with the newborns, it seemed like thinking with the heart was out of the question. Jasper wasn't doing it; if he was, he never would have left in Bella's eyes. Nor was she letting her most treasured organ lead her or else she never would have let him to walk out of the room and turned her back so she wouldn't have to witness it.

But because she had grown to be so in tune with her heart's wishes, it was impossible to ignore something that had happened after Jasper had left the room she was left to recover in. She _felt_ something. It was unmistakable. It caused her heart to flip flop and her eyes to open. She knew he wasn't still in the room, but Bella could feel _love _coming from him. It was there in raw form if only for a fleeting moment. It was there.

That tiny flicker of it, that small glimpse of what she expected him to feel upon seeing her both after he'd killed Victoria and the newborns, as well as when he came to her recovery room to apologize. It was lost during both of those times. But it was only minutes after he'd gone from the room that Bella could feel it. It stood out amongst the grief and sorrow that occupied the house otherwise. It stood out like a river of bright yellow daffodils amongst a bigger sea of black and white.

There was nothing more that Bella needed to convince her. He might had made the decision that he felt was best for both of them to leave, but Bella couldn't and _wouldn't_ ignore that small flicker of hope.

When Edward had left, there was nothing. He'd gone and taken every piece of him in the process. She couldn't follow even if she wanted to; she never even would have known where to start. But with Jasper, she had an idea. It was… a _feeling_ she had. It was true that he could be anywhere else in the world by the time she would be able to leave the Cullen house and attempt to find him, but he wasn't.

Bella _knew_.

That fleeting emotion she felt coming from him just after he left confirmed it. Of course she could have mistaken it. She could have easily imagined it since it was what she wished for so badly to feel originating from the boy she loved just as much. Her love could have been very much unrequited now. But it was a risk that was worth taking. If there was even the smallest, most insignificant hope inside of it, it was enough.

It was several hours until Bella was able to leave. She contemplated faking falling asleep, but she knew that it would be a façade that all the family members could see through. And so, she asked Carlisle to administer her something to help which he gladly complied with. He thought – and Esme agreed – that more sleep was what she needed. Little did either of them know that it was just to bide her time. She couldn't confess where she was going once she was allowed to leave. If she said she was going looking for Jasper, they would have stopped her – or there would have been a_ chance_ they could have and it wasn't a risk Bella was going to take. She told them she was going to La Push to speak with Jacob and the rest of the pack to thank them for what they did and assure them that she was all right. It was a convincing story considering the circumstances and something that Bella actually _would_ have to do sooner rather than later.

She didn't have to worry about Charlie; Esme had phoned him earlier in the day to say that Bella stayed over at the house the night before since Charlie was away with work and didn't want to be alone. It was a feasible story and since the police chief would be late again that day with the recent deaths, he was glad she was being cared for.

But when Bella was driven home by Emmett and Rosalie to get her truck, she only followed behind them until she had to turn off to go in the direction of the reservation. As soon as she couldn't see Emmett's jeep in her rear view mirror anymore, she turned her truck around and went in the opposite direction, past the outskirts of the town. She drove as fast as she could, as much as her old vehicle would allow.

Hope was propelling her. The need to know for certain whether her instinct was right kept her pace. It was strange to pull up and not see Annabelle situated in the dusty old gravel lot, but she knew the car was still back at their house. It likely wasn't the best idea for her to be running when she was still fairly weak, even with the day of recovery she had, but as soon as Bella jumped down from her truck, she was hustling inside the fairgrounds.

What she saw when she got there, however, stopped her dead in her tracks and made the blood inside of her run ice cold. Jasper was there as she suspected, yes. But he wasn't alone. The last person she would _ever_ want to see was standing before him, tainting their special place, the place she'd gone to for a haven when she was without him before and now where he had come to do the same. The vampires would both be well aware of Bella's presence. If not just for the scent of her and her blood, then for the way she'd rushed up and stopped so suddenly.

For that, she didn't say a word. Yet.

* * *

"Jasper," Maria purred his name as she glided towards him.

Jasper said nothing. He stood still as a statue even though he could feel her moving closer to him. Just when he thought his life couldn't spiral any further downward into the hell he'd created for himself, Maria had to walk back into his life. He knew he'd committed sins that were unforgivable. His body had suffered for it, he'd been cursed to feel pain everyday. While he knew this in no way made up for all the wrongs he'd committed, Jasper had hoped that he could suffer through this without the added pain that his former mate brought along with her. This was almost cruel and unusual punishment. Would he ever be rid of her? Or was he doomed to have her as a part of his eternity forever? Naturally, the memories of her would always be there. But did he really have to deal with her face to face as well?

"It felt like old times," she said softly, her voice like a bell dancing on the wind. "Watching you tangle with all those newborns." Maria circled him slowly, lightly trailing her hand around his lean waist.

"Don't," he cautioned, shrugging her off.

"Isn't this what you always longed for?" She asked. "My affection." Maria ran her hands up and down the front of his chest and looked up at him.

Jasper did not respond at first, but he did stare down at her. He felt so dead inside and all she was doing was making it worse. That seemed to be her calling in life. She was right, though. There had once been a time when he wanted desperately for her to touch him so gently and give him attention and affection that didn't come with a price. He'd wanted her to love him as he thought he loved her. He wanted her to be his mate just as he'd pledged to be hers. That time was long since past. He didn't even want to look at her.

"Maria..." saying her name left a bad taste in his mouth. He could feel the venom rising in his throat, burning as he swallowed it back down. "Yes, I did. I wanted that more than anything. I did everything for you, gave you everything. I gave you love, I gave you my heart. I sacrificed my body for you."

His fingers pulled quickly at the buttons on his shirt and he opened it, revealing his scarred chest. "All this," he said, his voice hitching just slightly. "All this, was for you. And all this, was for nothing. You wouldn't touch me. You called me hideous. You called me weak. You said I wasn't good enough."

Maria, for what it was worth, was actually a little impressed by how bold he was being. "You were weak. If I'd let you think otherwise, you would have gotten overly confident."

"Would it have killed you to tell me just _once _that you loved me? I told you everyday! You didn't even have to say it. If you'd just let me feel it.. Just once.." Jasper shook his head. "It's irrelevant."

She reached up and clutched at the sides of his shirt. "Jasper, come with me now. We can make up for what we lost, mi amor. Come with me. Leave all this behind. We'll be together and you can forget that foolish girl."

Jasper jerked back from her. "No. I will never forget her."

"She's human, Jasper. That isn't normal. You should have killed her when you had the chance."

"That's enough, Maria," he said, sternly. "I think you should leave."

"Not without you."

Jasper paused. The most familiar scent in the world to him was suddenly very present. Sadly, that was blood. He had not noticed it when Bella first came because he was so focused on speaking to Maria, telling her how he felt. Added to that, was the scent of her. It was a scent he had grown to love and cherish. How long had she been there? Maria, he could tell, knew Bella was there all along. He could see it in her eyes.

"I have no desire to go anywhere with you. Any feelings I had for you are long since gone. I don't even hate you, because for that I would have to _feel _something for you. And there's nothing there anymore."

Maria, angry, took a step back. "You're lying. You'll always love me. I made you. You worshipped me. You can never feel _nothing_. It's not in your nature."

"Leave," he said firmly. "I would rather burn in hell alone than go anywhere with you."

Maria was infuriated. But she knew better than to pick a fight with him, or to turn and attack the human girl standing not so far away from them. Jasper was too unstable, too abandoned from his morals to test. She was by no means giving up, but she would go for now.

"You'll regret this, mi amor."

Jasper didn't even turn as she left. He simply began to button his shirt back up.

* * *

True hatred was difficult to possess in a person. It was easy for people to brush off a hurtful comment or a rude individual but claiming they held hate for that second party. But pure, unadulterated hatred was difficult to come by. Bella had never been a hateful person, nor had she ever encountered someone that she ever thought to feel such contempt for. The first person she truly held such an emotion for was Aro. Considering the results of his cruelty in Volterra, it would be impossible for even the most compassionate person to not hold hatred for the ancient coven leader. Bella learned that she had been capable of possessing that deeply rooted negative emotion then.

The only other person that could have fallen into that list was one that she did not have as much first-hand experience with. What she did have, however, was the broken heart of someone who had been subjected to decades worth of injustice and deception.

When Jasper talked about his past when he was still human, Bella never once picked up on any sort of inkling toward insecurity or self-doubt. He would talk about the way he would be sweet on women and like his mother, want to care for and protect them, ensure their safety. He was charismatic and confident in himself and that drove him to move up in the ranks of the military. All because of one cold-hearted, self-centered – and Bella wouldn't use this word lightly - _bitch_, his spirit was broken. He endured scars that would never fade in the physical sense, but more importantly, in the emotional sense.

Maria held the second spot on Bella's list of hated people in the same way she held a power over Jasper that the he would note every time he looked at himself in the mirror. It seemed as if it was becoming a pattern that should anything happen to cause a rift between Jasper and Bella, Maria wouldn't be too far behind when the pieces were trying to be patched. Even still, it would have been a lie to say the brunette wasn't still shocked to see the Spanish vixen intruding on such a sacred place.

But nothing went quite as Bella would have expected either.

It was a very different scene from the one she'd witnessed in the forest the first time she came across Maria and Jasper together. Instead, the blonde spoke up in a way that Bella had never seen before. She saw him unleash years and years of pent up frustrations and emotions toward someone who'd deserved to hear it long ago. Not only had he defended himself and ensured the malicious female vampire that she no longer had the effect on him that she once did, but he defended Bella and his relationship with her. In spite of everything that had happened, of what drove the two of them to both go to the fairgrounds – he to go somewhere familiar, her to find him – he still claimed that he wouldn't forget about her.

That, paired with everything else he'd said to Maria made Bella fall in love with him all over again.

It was hard to say what would happen with the two of them after that. Maybe he would still maintain that distance was the best thing for them. If it truly was what he wanted, Bella, as hard – as _impossible_ - as it would have been to do, would have respected that wish and did as he asked. But at least she had gotten to witness this. At least she had gotten to see the opportunity that presented itself for him to get the weights off of his chest that had been so deeply embedded for a century. If she could take comfort in anything, it would be that maybe, just _maybe_, he would begin to get back to himself, the way he'd been when he was human, unscarred to anything.

It took courage for Jasper to do that. He'd told her once that the bond a vampire had with his or her creator was one that was particularly strong and because he had been in love with Maria, it made the attachment far more involved. If he could have the courage to do that, then Bella's reason for coming after him was justified. She could have courage too. Even if Maria would have turned on her, the brunette would have stood her ground. As it was, the vampire didn't even address her directly. Of course Bella knew that they both had been aware of her presence for the duration of the exchange, but she was not the subject. It was about Jasper and Jasper had been the one to set things straight.

Once Maria was gone, it was Bella's turn. She thought she would stumble over her words, stammer as she tried to explain why she was there. She was sure of the fact that she would resort to begging and pleading for him not to leave, to stay and try to work through what happened. She was ready to defend how much she loved him and fight for the piece of it she felt coming from him as he'd left the Cullen house the day before. But she didn't stutter or stumble. Instead, her voice was strong and her words were genuine.

"She's wrong. You won't regret that."

* * *

Jasper did not have to watch as Maria left. He could feel it. The presence of hatred, violence, and manipulation that she brought with her began to diminish more and more the further away she became. It made him less tense, less on edge. His own anger and contempt for her started to subside, being flushed back down to where they would remain buried until he saw her again. While he wanted to believe that that would never happen, Maria always had a way of finding her way back into his life one way or another. But at least this time, he'd said what he wanted to. He was able to speak freely, rather than be forced to submit to her, or subjected to some form of pain. Not this time.

The pain he felt now was from his heartache of walking away from Bella and his family. He had not truly wanted to, but keeping her safe was more important than anything he wanted. He needed her safe, and alive. He needed her to be protected. Jasper did not feel he was apt to do this anymore. He thought he was before, that his need to protect her was stronger than his need for blood, but that was naive. That was his heart talking, not his head, or his instincts. But that was just the way Jasper was. He led with his heart, and that was why he ended up in such predicaments.

Truthfully, he did not know how long Bella had been standing there. He wasn't sure what portion of his conversation with Maria she'd heard. He couldn't recall when he actually realized she was there, or when he was just wishing it was her. It didn't matter much, he supposed. She was there, was she not? But why? She should've been fleeing from him as fast as she could, into Jacob Black's arms and not back to him. He wanted her here, he wanted to protect her. But who was he kidding? He was more of a danger to her than Victoria, than all the newborns put together. Jacob Black had been right to defend her from him all along. It was a painful realization, but the truth had sometimes been known to hurt.

"I won't," he agreed, quietly.

That was true. The words he had spoken to Maria had been building within him for over a century. He'd been harboring all that pain for so long, so to finally speak to her in a way that expressed what he felt actually was a bit of a relief. He did not believe she took any of his words to heart; she was not capable of having such a conscience, but nonetheless it was a way for him to get some anger and pain out of his system. That could only help.

"I'm not strong enough to walk away. I would've come back. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I would have come back," he added. His eyes were on his feet, his head lowered in sorrow.

* * *

Jasper's confession solidified every reason Bella had for going after him. It confirmed the fact that she was not just delirious or wishing for something so badly that it became real when she felt love radiating from him just before he left the house completely. It wasn't imagined; it was real. By him telling her that he wasn't strong enough to leave, it left no doubt in her mind. He would have come back. She believed him when he confessed to such a thing. She couldn't question how genuine his feelings were, even when they were so intermingled with grief.

"I know," she said. "But I couldn't wait until then."

She slowly moved toward him, closing the space in between. Her steps were slow, though, cautious. It wasn't because she was afraid – Bella wasn't. But she didn't want to overwhelm him too quickly. The closer she got though, the more difficult it was for her not to just break down and throw her arms around him to pull him against her. It was what she craved more than anything. Just to feel him, to know that he was truly okay after everything that had happened.

"I apparently suck with strength too," she said with a half smile pulling up a corner of her mouth. "I wanted to run after you a minute after you left the room. But I knew Carlisle would have been against it. I'm sorry it took me so long," she said.

She debated between wishing she would have been there earlier, when Maria first approached, and getting there when she did soon after. If she would have been there before, perhaps the entire conversation could have been avoided with the Spanish vampire. But then again, it was a necessary one to be had and she was glad that Jasper was given the opportunity without her interfering with it as there was a chance she could have if she'd gotten there first.

When the distance between them was considerably lessened, to the point where Bella could reach her hand up to tilt his chin upward to meet her eyes, she relaxed. But she could feel that Jasper was tense. He was afraid of himself and Bella understood that. But that was why she concentrating on letting him feel what _she_ was feeling. Love, compassion, hope… nothing remotely close to negativity or especially, fear.

"Stay with me," she whispered.

* * *

Jasper could not understand why Bella came looking for him, and yet at the same time it was perfectly clear to him. This was the part of his power that was a bit overwhelming at times. He couldn't imagine anyone ever going near someone who had just tried to kill them. Loving someone who was just seconds away from ending their life. He didn't understand how she could want anything to do with him, but he understood her love. He understood how she felt because he could feel it too. He knew that she loved him, even if he didn't understand why. But he also knew that her love was the same as his. And he knew that if for some ungodly reason that the roles were reversed, he'd be doing exactly what she was doing.

He let her lift his chin, but he found it difficult to meet her eyes. Despite the fact that he loved her with every fiber of his being, he did not feel worthy of her. He never had, but it was so much worse now. How could he receive all the love she was allowing him to feel after what he'd done? It didn't seem right, and yet at the same time it was the most right thing in the world.

How could their love _not _be felt? It wasn't possible. A love as pure as what they had for each other was meant to be expressed undeniably, forever.

Jasper couldn't find it in him to speak anymore. He was so overwhelmed by his own emotions that it was difficult for him to filter in hers. Once he did, it was impossible to tell where his love ended and hers began. They meshed together effortlessly and filled his heart, giving him strength. He didn't know what to do, what to say. There were no words that could express what he was feeling. He never wanted the feeling to end, and yet he still did not feel deserving of it. She should be loving someone who could love her without being a threat to her life.

But he couldn't live without her.

It was selfish of him, but he gave in. Jasper slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. He buried his face in her shoulder and just held her. He held her for a long time, silently, but had he been able to shed tears, the sleeve of her shirt would have been soaked. He loved her, but he still was so afraid of what he'd done that he couldn't get past it yet. It was becoming a bit much for him, and he found he couldn't even stand anymore. Slowly, he slid down her body, but kept hold of her waist, until he was on his knees. He still clutched onto her, his face hidden in her stomach, his shoulders shaking a bit.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, just barely able to find his voice. "I'm so sorry."

* * *

He would be able to hear her quiet sigh of relief when he wrapped his arms around her waist. But more than that, he would be able to feel it. There was a significant amount of tension released by her muscles when she could feel him against her. This was the moment there were supposed to have had right after Victoria and the newborn were killed. This reunion was the one she had been expecting when she'd said his name as soon as it was all over. Things hadn't gone according to plan obviously, but in the end, to Bella, that didn't matter. As long as it still existed somewhere in time, that was enough for her. After all, nothing ever seemed to go quite according to plan and the strength of their relationship owed a lot to that fact. That said, it was impossible to be bitter when events changed suddenly. They always seemed to have a way of working themselves out even better when it all came down to it.

When he slid down her body, Bella was reminded of a very similar scene. In her bedroom the night that he showed her his scars, he'd broken down in the same way. It had been the weakest she had ever seen him until that point and it was something that would stay with her for a long time. All he'd kept saying what that he didn't deserve her, that she was too compassionate for him. But he'd been wrong then and he was wrong again now as he continued to apologize. Like before, Bella just let him have a moment to relax, let him hold her and try to calm himself with the gentle addition of her fingers moving softly through his curly locks. And like that night in her bedroom so many weeks ago, when the brunette dropped to her knees with him, she pressed her lips to his face.

Kisses were littered across his skin – his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his eyelids. Everywhere. His lips were last. Shaking her head, she pressed her mouth to his softly, speaking against his lips.

"Shh," she whispered, her eyes closing as she touched her nose to his. "Don't."

He didn't need to speak; neither of them did. And he certainly didn't need to be apologizing, despite the fact Bella knew he would deem it more than necessary. He already knew he had her forgiveness, even though she honestly felt as if there was nothing to forgive. Jasper couldn't help himself. He was _made _to react in the manner he did. That was his form of survival.

However unnecessary words might have been, Bella still offered them to him. "It doesn't matter," she said, her tone still never rising above a whisper. "What almost happened, what could have happened…" she shook her head again, leaning her forehead against his and moving her hands into his hair to keep him close to her while she continued to soothe him.

"It doesn't matter. What matters…" She paused, leaning in to kiss him softly, reassuringly. "What matters is this. Here." Bella kissed him again, a second longer than the previous. "Us."

It would take some time, she knew. But Bella didn't care. She didn't care how long it would take for him to stop feeling the guilt. Maybe he would never forget it, but if Bella could stop getting to blame himself for something that was not his fault, then it would be enough. She would be content in spending the rest of her life convincing him, just as she vowed to spend an eternity changing the negative reflections of himself that Maria had instilled and instead, turned them into positive ones, to convince him – rather, simply open his eyes to the truth – that he was such a beautiful person to her, both inside and out, scars or no scars. It too, would take time, but soon enough, they would have a lot more of that to spare. They already did with the newborn threat out of the way for good now.

She moved to kiss his lips again, but she moved her hands gently from his hair to his body in order to coax him to lay down with her on their sides. She didn't care if they were on the ground. She cared about relaxing him. If he felt weak to move, there was no reason to. The brunette wrapped an arm securely around his waist and wrapped one of her legs around his to allow for closer proximity. Her other hand went back to his hair, gently brushing back the soft curls.

"If this is where being '_weak_' gets us, I really don't care to be strong."

* * *

It was very true that things rarely went as planned when it came to the two of them. Things usually seemed to go wrong before they went right. Despite all of that, their bond always held strong and never wavered. Time and time again their love was put to the test, weights were placed on it, but they always had come through before. Jasper had thought they'd faced the worst of their problems, until now. He'd done the unthinkable, and he wasn't sure they'd ever be able to overcome it. Yet there she was, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. It would all work out, somehow.

How could she be so sure this time?

He'd nearly _killed_ her. If he'd not hesitated, she would be dead right now. It sickened him to think of that, but it was the harsh truth. He would always hate himself for that, but he was trying very hard to remind himself that Bella _wasn't _dead right now. She was very much alive, and she was right there, with him. She was reassuring him, comforting him, and above all else, loving him. He could feel that, and he could feel that she held no resentment or fear of him. That baffled him, especially the latter. What was upsetting was the fact that she was the one having to comfort him, rather than the other way around. He was the one who had done wrong, not her.

Instead of shunning him as she should have done, Bella was being supportive and loving. Jasper closed his eyes each time her lips pressed to his, but it was difficult for him to kiss her back. Not because he didn't want to, but because he still did not feel worthy of her affection after what he did. He should've been comforting her, pleading with her to stay with him. She shouldn't have had to follow him, or to see that display with Maria. None of it seemed to matter to her, though. Jasper could only feel love and understanding coming from her. Did she have any idea how incredibly beautiful she was, inside and out?

He laid down next to her without much protest. Any that he had was internal, as he was not too thrilled with the idea of her having to lay on the ground. Jasper closed his eyes as she wrapped her arm and leg around him and then started to gently caress his hair. She knew that would relax him, no doubt, as he loved the way it felt to have her fingers running through his hair. The back of his head was a sensitive place to touch, and he was very soothed by her fingers massaging his scalp. Her words soothed him, too. He sighed softly and slowly slid one arm over her waist and around her back. He pressed his forehead to hers and opened his eyes.

"You're everything to me," he said softly. "But I would have understood if you never wanted to see me again."

* * *

If Jasper was having doubts internally, Bella was having trouble feeling any negative emotions from him any longer. It could have been because of the fact that he had others that interfered with those, or simply because she felt so much for him that it was hard to allow anything but love or happiness into her demeanor at the moment.

Being with him was so relaxing. She felt as if she could have fallen asleep right there on the ground with him, not caring about the temperature or the lack of cleanliness at the abandoned fairgrounds. It didn't hurt her relaxation when he sighed and wrapped his arm around her as well. She could feel his own ease and comfort and she intended to keep him experiencing such a thing. Her fingers continued to move through his hair, the pads of them gently rubbing his scalp. Her movements were slow and soothing and it wasn't long before Bella closed her eyes along with him.

"Impossible," she said in regard to his voiced concerns that she didn't want to be near him at the moment.

Nothing could have been further from the truth and Bella had an inkling that he already knew that to be true just by reading into her emotions. Opening her eyes momentarily to meet his, Bella gave the blond a reassuring smile before kissing him softly. Her eyelids fluttered closed again and she nuzzled her face against his neck. She knew that he wouldn't stand for laying on the ground much longer because he would be concerned for her well being, but for now, she just tightened her limbs around him to keep him close.

She wanted to stay like this.

Just a moment longer.

Just forever.

* * *

**Author's Note:** First of all, big apologies for the delay in posting. We were very busy with some happy real life changes and we needed to focus on that. We'll have another chapter for you up tomorrow to help make up for it! But we hope this one was worth the wait. It was a very different ending than what happened last time there was an encounter with Maria but we hope (and are pretty sure!) you liked this one a lot better. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Please remember to follow and favorite this new story. As always, we LOVE hearing your thoughts in reviews! Cheers!

**Lyrics:** Apologize - One Republic


	4. Chapter 4

_I heard about your regrets_  
_I heard that you were feeling sorry_  
_I heard from someone that you wish you could_  
_Set things right between us ;;_

Things were wonderful for a week. It was amazing how differently things could feel once the weight of the fear of Victoria and the newborns was off everyone's shoulders. The fact that Bella and Jasper were closer than ever didn't hurt either. They had been through one of the ultimate tests to their relationship, one that nearly ended her life and crushed Jasper spirit for good because of it. And yet, they had risen above it, coming out on top. The rest of the Cullen family was thrilled. Even Rosalie was glad when she learned that her twin was himself again. After he'd returned to the house the night after he and Bella reunited at the fairgrounds, she embraced him and even asked if they could spend time together just the two of the later that week and go hunting. It was her way of not only showing him that she was pleased that he was no longer miserable, but that she was also sorry for the actions she'd initiated in favor of breaking him up with his girlfriend that year.

Bella spent a few days that week at the reservation in La Push. She didn't like being away from Jasper while doing so, but it was something that she wanted to do. She owed a lot to the pack, especially Jacob and Sam, who coordinated the alliance with the Cullens, even though they might not have gotten along. The job was done and it couldn't have been without the help of the wolves. Bella was eternally grateful for that and even more so that they had walked away unscathed. Only Embry suffered a minor injury, but it was already healed by the time Bella went to the beach the first time. The atmosphere there was positive, the pack still on a high from having gotten the chance to fight vampires. There were many recounted battle stories around the lunch table during Bella's stays there and she gladly listened since she was unable to be there herself and the Cullens weren't as keen to give her details. Emmett had tried, but Esme often shut him up before he could go into any depth.

It felt like things were back to normal. Bella couldn't remember the last time she had been so at peace and happy. Of course she was always happy with Jasper, though. Their house had been restored back to mint condition thanks to Esme. It looked like nothing was ever out of place, like there had never been any sort of incident at their special residence. Bella worried that being back there would have bad memories for Jasper, especially. But there were none for her when they went there to spend time together one afternoon. All she could see when they were there was her birthday night. All she could think about was the happy memories that wove themselves into the floorboards and were sealed into the glass windows. She made sure to let Jasper feel that when they were there.

Even Charlie's mood was much improved. He was surprised to see Bella with stitches, but it was nothing that was all that out of the ordinary when he considered the clumsiness of his daughter. The fabricated story had been that she'd tripped over a tree stump when she went to the Cullen's and fell against another jagged branch, cutting her arm. He bought the excuse and made it no secret that he was relieved about the sudden end to the killings in the surrounding areas. It had been a quiet week for the police chief and that was the way he preferred it. His favorite way of unwinding was to eat his dinners with Bella and catch up on his sports on the flat screen. That weekend, he invited Billy over to watch the Mariners game. Since it was nearing the end of baseball season in the next month or so, the games were getting more critical and apparently, this one was a big one in terms of getting the team higher up in the MLB rankings.

Bella, however, didn't know this and when Charlie told her at breakfast that morning about his plans, she tensed slightly. She had been meaning to tell him that Jasper was going to pick her up for a movie that night. Admittedly, she had been prolonging giving up that information. Charlie wasn't pleased to hear anything about the boy who'd 'stolen his daughter and recklessly towed her down the Oregon coast.' He wasn't naïve to think that when Bella went out that half the time she was with him. Her punishment was over, but that didn't mean that he had to be supportive of her hanging around 'that Cullen boy.' Bella came to learn where he'd gotten that phrase from later on that night when she finally bucked up enough courage to tell him that she was going out with Jasper that night. Charlie had been lounging on the couch while Billy Black sat out of his wheelchair, comfortably in the armchair off to the side of the sofa. She'd hoped that by just saying it fast, she could avoid most conversation about it. Like ripping off a band-aid.

But she had been wrong about that. Both men gave the same grimace after she explained that Jasper was coming by to get her and the two of them were going to a movie.

"That Cullen boy?" Billy had said accusingly.

Bella simply nodded, focusing her attention on Charlie who was furrowing his brow and trying to think of reasons she had to stay home that night. The best he could come up with was, "Are you sure that's a good idea, Bells? It's supposed to be a nasty storm tonight."

"Dad, there's a nasty storm every other day. I promise we'll be safe _inside _the movie theater."

"But don't you want to stay and watch the game?"

"Baseball, Dad. Not so much," she said, making a face. "He'll be here any minute," she continued, shuffling from foot to foot. "Can you just _please _try to get along and be nice to him?"

Billy snorted and indiscreetly covered it up with a fake clearing of his throat. Clearly, he was looking forward to this as much as Charlie was dreading it. Sure enough, it was only another minute before there was a knock on the door. Bella answered it, reaching for Jasper's hand to give it a squeeze instead of a kiss (like she wanted) for fear that it wouldn't bode well for Charlie in case he'd followed her into the hallway. He hadn't though and instead, remained exactly where he was.

"Hi," she said softly, giving her boyfriend an apologetic look that he would understand a moment later when she led him into the living room.

* * *

It was no secret to Jasper that Bella's father disliked him. He knew it was because they'd run off together without his permission (not that he would've given it anyway). Of course, he felt that Charlie had every right to be angry with him for that. It had been wrong of them to leave so impulsively without informing him, but at the time they'd been so desperate to leave that there was no time to lose. While he understood her father's anger over the issue, it had also passed a long time ago. Bella had returned unharmed, _not pregnant_, and in a better mental state than she'd been in before they left Forks. Jasper hoped that all these things would help the chief of police to get past this obstacle, but clearly he hadn't.

Bella was no longer on punishment, which meant Charlie couldn't really stop her from seeing Jasper as much as she wanted. He didn't like it, but there was nothing to be done about it. Jasper always was very polite to him when he would come to pick Bella up and take her somewhere. There once had been a time when Charlie liked him, Jasper knew, and he hoped that eventually that side of Charlie would return again. He wanted very much for the chief to like him, but there seemed to be a newly formed hatred from it, that went beyond any sort of normal human hatred. It seemed influenced almost, and that Jasper stood no chance to win the favor back of Bella's father. Still, he did not give up. No matter what sport was being watched on the television when he would go to pick up Bella, Jasper would be well informed on the subject. He didn't like much sports himself, but fortunately Emmett did and could give him any information he needed. No matter how much disdain Charlie showed for him, Jasper would try that much harder to be polite to him.

When Jasper pulled up to Bella's house, he knew something was up. There was another truck in the driveway, that most certainly reeked of dog. This did not bode well for him, he knew. Still, he hoped that maybe Bella would answer the door and they could just leave. It was wishful thinking, since Jasper always came in and addressed Chief Swan properly. He was doing his best to give him no reason to hate him anymore. He knew it was futile. He was his teenage daughter's boyfriend. That gave Charlie every reason in the world to despise him. Jasper smiled as Bella opened the door and took her hand. He stepped into the house and knew that Charlie's company was in the room with him. He could hear the extra heart beat.

At least it wasn't Jacob Black. Jasper had picked up his scent from the visiting truck, but fortunately he was not the one in the room. It was his father, Jasper knew, but that was still better than Jacob Black himself.

"Chief Swan," Jasper said, nodding to Bella's father. He shot his butterscotch gaze to Billy Black then, which was met with a piercing dark glare. "Sir," he added, addressing him, though beneath his polite tone it was much more hostile. "We'll just be going to a movie, Chief. So she'll be home before eleven."

Jasper always had her home by the time of her curfew, and usually early. Of course, they did not really say goodbye, considering he was always waiting for her by the time she got into her room, but what Charlie didn't know wouldn't hurt him or interfere with their time together.

Jasper could feel the old, Native American's eyes on him, trying to pierce through his diamond exterior to the depths of his soul, but Jasper wouldn't let him in. He simply kept hold of Bella's hand and his eyes on Charlie.

* * *

Bella didn't even consider the idea of simply just leaving, calling a goodbye back to her father as she and Jasper were already out the door, and avoiding the situation altogether. She knew that would never happen (even though she would have been more than okay with that) mainly due to the fact that Jasper was far too much of a gentleman to go without properly coming to the door to get her and at least acknowledge Charlie in the process. So by this point, the idea of avoiding a potentially very awkward situation was not an option as much as she would have wished for otherwise.

Because Billy was in their company as well that evening, it made the tension in the atmosphere thick and almost tangible to the brunette who vowed to get through this situation as smoothly as possible. There wasn't much Charlie could do in terms of preventing her from leaving – even he knew that. But that didn't mean he was going to act as if it he was thrilled about the idea. Having his best buddy there who equally disapproved of the Cullen boy gave him a bit more of a firmer stance in the matter, whether or not he audibly let that show or not.

Jasper could obviously feel all of these things. Bella imagined that it must have been more difficult for him that it was for her being in this situation considering he would be able to know exactly how much Charlie disliked him and especially, how hated he was by the Native American who sat staring at him accusingly with dark eyes. But Bella was always amazed by how Jasper kept his composure. He made it all seem like it was effortless and that nothing affected him or got under his skin. She imagined it wasn't very comforting that his girlfriend's father disapproved of him and that he was fed ideas by a longtime hated enemy, but still, he appeared to be in complete control, always so poised. Bella gave his hand a squeeze, a proud gesture to show him that she was glad he was hers.

It didn't seem Billy Black was going to keep his mouth shut for long though. He took his eyes away from Jasper long enough to divert his gaze to Bella's arm, which, underneath her sweater, was still bandaged.

"How's your arm today, Bella?" he said with an edge to his voice that may have been disregarded by someone like Charlie, but that was definitely apparent to someone who knew what he was alluding to.

Bella had to try as hard as she could to remain indifferent, as if she honestly didn't know what Billy was trying to get at. "It's fine today, Billy. Thanks for asking," she said calmly.

It was obvious that lingering for much longer wouldn't be an option so Bella didn't waste any more time before turning back to Charlie. "Dad, we really need to leave or we'll miss the movie," she said, letting go of Jasper's hand long enough to kiss the top of her pouting father's head.

He didn't look up, just stared at the television with his arms crossed over his chest, partially masking his favorite baseball shirt which, for some reason, never seemed to fit the same anymore. "Eleven," he muttered as a warning to Jasper.

Thinking they were home free, Bella took Jasper's hand again and led him into the hallway. But she should have known Billy would have to have the last word, especially considering the recent events that she was very sure (for certain now) that he'd been well informed of.

"Make sure you get something to eat, Bella. Wouldn't want anyone getting hungry, now would we?"

Bella had to collect herself and grit her teeth for a moment in the hallway before she could answer. That was a low blow and it had most certainly been intentional. But she forced a cheery voice and said, "Thanks Billy. Good seeing you again!"

Her hold on Jasper's hand was just a little bit tighter than normally as they moved out the door.

* * *

There was no love lost between Jasper Hale and Billy Black. Even though he could feel the hate and contempt coming from the elder man, it really did not affect in him in the same way that Charlie's hate for him affected him. Jasper understood that Billy hated him. They were natural enemies, and even though Billy wasn't a wolf himself, he was from that clan, he was of that species, his son _was _a wolf. It was a law of nature that they hated each other. It might have seemed closed minded to someone looking in from the outside, but that was the way it was. They were enemies; their species were not meant to coexist. Jasper detested Billy just as much.

It was Charlie's hate for him that Jasper struggled with. Feeling that coming from him was painful to him, and he wished very much that he could rectify that. He could, of course. He had the ability to do so with his unique, other-worldy gift. It wouldn't be difficult at all for him to simply look at Charlie and evoke nothing but praise and admiration from him. He could manipulate Bella's father's emotions without lifting a finger. If he wanted to, he could throw insults at both men, picking them apart piece by piece, and have them laughing and singing his praises. He would never, ever do anything of the sort. Jasper did not like the extension of his power that allowed him to manipulate emotions. He had such a strong respect for feelings and how genuine they were, to manipulate them and make them into something they weren't was a crime to him, a sin in its worst capacity.

He would never call his decision to leave with Bella "wrong." They needed to run away for a while, and what came from it had brought them closer than they ever could have dreamed of. Jasper would never take back his time with her at the cabin and he would never regret their decision to go. He only wished that Charlie would be able to get past that. He hoped, one day he would. For now, he would gladly take the consequences that stemmed from their choices, because he had Bella and that was all that mattered.

Jasper always tried to be well-mannered. He rarely ever cursed, and when he did it was usually to himself, out of earshot of anyone else. He was very quiet, to the point where most onlookers found him to be extremely reserved and even shy. He always spoke eloquently when he _did _talk. But Jasper was still a teenage boy (despite being over a century and a half old). He had a sharp tongue and though he rarely spoke them, a witty retort for most situations. When Billy intentionally threw not one, but two jabs at him, Jasper simply smiled. It would appear genuine, but it was dripping with sarcasm as he stared at the older man. As Bella took his hand again and started to leave, Jasper turned around ant tipped his hat.

"Your rear left tire was looking a little low, by the way," he called out, and then turned to face forward as they walked out of the house.

When they got outside, Jasper paused midway down the driveway. "Shoelace, go on," he said, kissing the top of her head and releasing hold of her hand.

He crouched down to "relace" his boot, and quickly reached out to pierce the tire with one of his razor sharp nails. He also loosened the screws on the hubcap and as he raised back up, gave it a little tap to make it pop right off. It might have been a little petty, but Billy had set the bar very low to begin with. Even with his handy work, Jasper still hurried to open the door for her, helping her into Annabelle before he got in on his side.

"Shall we, then?" He smiled at her and turned the key in the ignition.

* * *

Jasper and Bella's decision to leave all of a sudden wasn't wrong at all in her opinion. If they hadn't, they might not be where they were today. That trip had been one of the defining moments in their relationship and without it, it was hard to know whether or not things would feel exactly the same. Bella had felt so close with Jasper on that last minute getaway. They had physically became one in the duration of it and both of them had a chance to relax without outside pressures acting against two different beings ending up so in love with one another. They'd made a home of sorts and for awhile, they could see what it was like to be together effortlessly, without sneaking around or careful planning or prying eyes. It was just the two of them. For that reason, she never minded Charlie giving her a punishment. It had all been worth it.

Still, she hoped in the near future that her father would be able to get along with Jasper. It would make things a lot easier, even if it was just a calm understanding whenever Bella said she was going out. It wouldn't happen this time, but that didn't mean that Jasper wasn't on top of it. He had such a discreet way of getting even and standing his ground against Billy Black, his disapproving enem,y without causing Charlie any strange suspicion. Even Bella didn't completely understand what his comment had meant until he let go of her hand and stood up after 'tying his shoelace.' It was then that she noticed Billy's truck mysteriously looked noticeably lower on one side in the back, leaving it lopsided – right next to where Jasper had paused.

Once they were in the car and he gave her that smile, the brunette tilted her head at him knowingly. "Shoelace," she repeated skeptically, but it was impossible to deny the smile that had been ebbing at the corners of her mouth as well.

Make no mistake of course - Bella really liked Billy, just as she loved Jake as her good friend. But she didn't like that he was so openly against Jasper and for that, she couldn't blame her boyfriend for his clever little plotting. It was so… _Jasper_. Shaking her head, she looked forward at the road, still grinning.

"I'm going to just pretend that I didn't see that," she said.

Bella settled comfortably back against Annabelle. It was a bit chilly, but she'd cracked her window slightly in order to feel the cold. She liked the fresh air, especially when she was driving with him. It seemed to erase any care she could have had. It was going to be a good night. It wasn't often – or at least, not in comparison to other couples – that they could just do normal things together as far as dates were concerned. Nighttime gave them more freedom to do so, however and without the threat of the sun, she was looking forward to getting to see a movie with him. It had been well over a year since Bella had seen a movie and somehow she had no doubts that this time would be very different.

But she should have known that things wouldn't be _that_ easy. There always seemed to be complications following them in one way or another. This particular complication was in the form of a very large figure suddenly leaping in front of the car.

It happened to fast, Bella nearly missed it. By the time she'd gasped and her muscles clenched violently as an instinct of fear, Jasper had slammed on the brakes so hard that Annabelle screeched loudly. The figure stood motionless in the middle of the road and it took only another half a second for Bella to recognize the defiant stance and intense expression as belonging to her best friend. This wasn't going to bode well.

It was clear that Jake wasn't about to move until one of that spoke and for serious fear that Jasper might just run him over, she unbuckled her seatbelt in a hurry and had her door open.

"Are you _nuts_?" she asked as she got out of the car and approached Jacob. She visibly searched him for any signs of injury and when her eyes didn't detect anything, she felt relief. "Are you all right?" she asked just in case.

"I should be asking you the same thing, Bella," he said, arms still crossed over his chest tightly. She could tell that he was trying not to phase, just from the way he was so tightly wound. "Are _you_ nuts?" he continued. "Or are you still delirious from last week when _that _bloodsucker was a second from _killing_ you?"

* * *

Jasper was not usually malicious, nor did he resort to petty acts of retaliation. He usually just let things go, choosing the mature route. Every now and then, however, some of his big brother Emmett's influence wore off on him. It was still extremely rare that he would ever be outwardly obnoxious, instead being rather subtle in his approach to situations that warranted a response from him. Him piercing Billy Black's tire was undoubtedly obnoxious, but he found it rather tame given the fact that he, a supposedly wise, respected elder, had taken the path of insulting him first. That did not necessarily make it right, but Jasper couldn't just let that pass. He also knew that Charlie would help him change the tire. It wasn't a devastating response. Jasper just gave Bella a bit of a sideways smirk at her comment and shrugged his shoulders, before draping one arm around her shoulder as he drove.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Belle," he said, turning his eyes back to the rode.

When it came to rash responses, Jacob Black was the one who won the award. Clearly the apple did not fall far from the tree. Before they'd gotten very far, a figure darted out into the road directly in their path. This wasn't a squirrel, or something small that he could swerve to avoid and then correct his car and continue on. This was a _human _figure. Jasper knew who it was. With his acute senses, he was able to recognize him through sight and scent. For a split second, he was tempted to hit the gas pedal harder instead of slamming on the breaks. But he knew Bella would be upset if he actually killed Jacob. He also didn't want to dent Annabelle. So he hit the breaks, and his poor car screeched to a stop, halting just in front of the werewolf. He'd kept his arm around Bella to keep her from flying forward or hitting her head on the dashboard.

Jasper sat very still at first. He watched as Bella got out of the car and started questioning him, but said nothing. He observed Jacob, reading his emotions. It wasn't hard to tell that he was raging. He didn't even need to tap into his power in order to realize that. Jasper kept his own emotions in check, not allowing anyone to feel anything at first. That is, until Jacob started questioning Bella, and like his father, referring back to the incident that Jasper was trying desperately to overcome and move forward from. His anger started to rise, and as he stepped out of the car, it would've been very easy to feel it coming from him. He did not slam his door, for he would not risk harming his car. But it was very present in the way his fingers curled at his sides and even in the way he stepped in front of the car.

"It's none of your business," he said, his eyes narrowing. "Bella can make her own decisions."

"Not when they involve you, apparently," Jacob snapped. "What'd you do, warp her feelings so that she'd hang all over you again? No one in their right mind would come anywhere near you." He turned his attention back to Bella. "Snap out of it, Bells. He would've torn you apart if I hadn't been there."

"I would've torn _you _apart if my brother hadn't pulled me off of you," Jasper said, unable to help himself.

"You see? He's a vicious killer, Bella! What's wrong with you? Why can't you see what everyone else sees? Everyone avoids him, and they don't even know what we know. That has to mean _something_!"

* * *

Even though only one of them had a special ability when it came to exuding emotions that could be felt by others, Bella could feel the same anger coming from both men. She was trying to remain calm in this situation, but such was not the first time that this all occurred. It seemed like this was becoming a painful pattern between the three of them. Jacob and Jasper would fight with one another and Bella would come in between them and try her best to remain a neutral party in doing so. She only hoped that this time, she wouldn't be cast off as just the third, invisible party as had happened just before the battle the night the newborns finally attacked.

At least from Jasper's end, it didn't seem like it. He at least gave her the benefit of the doubt by claiming that she was more than capable of her own decisions. And that was the truth, the one that should have mattered most. No matter what she chose, there would always be at least one party that was hurt or unhappy with the choice, but it all came down to being about what Bella thought was best. Obviously being romantically involved with a vampire who lusted after blood without being able to help it couldn't be the safest decision she could have made. And yes, it was true that such was a bigger factor after the near-death experience she had because of that aforementioned vampire the night of the battle. But nothing had ever been normal since Bella came to Forks and that including having a werewolf as a best friend. No matter what she decided, it wouldn't be easy. She wasn't supposed to be mixed up in either of these worlds, but she was a significant part of each now. There was no changing that.

"No, Jake. They don't know what we know. And _you_ don't know what I know. We could go back and forth for hours about what did or didn't or _almost _happened that night, but it would be pointless. All that matters is now. I'm safe, I'm alive. You're safe, you're alive. Jasper is safe, he's alive. To me, that's all I care about. If you want to start listing off things I should be avoiding because they're potentially dangerous, then you're going to have to stick me in a padded room with no windows," she said, not denying that she was one of the most magnetic people for danger. "Not everyone knows the truth about you either, Jake," she said quickly, cutting him off as he started to open his mouth in order to protest.

"The truth that's important is that we don't kill humans," he shot back. His eyes darkened, but they were looking at Bella with intensity rather than anger. He was trying to wake her up, still not comprehending how she could have been stupid enough to be going anywhere with that leech, let alone _defending _him. "But we do kill bloodsuckers. If the treaty is broken, that's it. It was a second away from it the other day. All of you would have been in the dirt before you could even blink," he said bitterly, glaring over at Jasper again.

"That treaty is ancient, Jake. Can you seriously still be so hung up on it when you just fought side by side with your supposed longtime enemy?" Bella countered

"The treaty stands, Bella."

He turned his attention back to her again. He had to get her to understand, do something that would allow her to open her eyes to the fact that it was sickening how obsessed she was with death. With that bloodsucker, that was all there would ever be.

"If a vampire bites a human, it's dead. _Any_ vampire. Even if it's one freshly changed," he said alluding to the fact that the rules of the treaty would include Bella once she was bitten. It was a low move, but Jacob was beyond playing clean.

Of course he would never be able to kill Bella, nor would he allow anyone else to lay even a finger on her, treaty or not. But he was baiting Jasper. All he needed to do was get him angry enough to lash out, turn like he did the night of the battle. Then Bella would see. If it happened again, she would have to see. It would give him enough time to fight off the leech and save the girl and ultimately the day. Clearly, it would all work out quite nicely as far as Jacob was concerned.

It was a low blow. Bella caught onto what Jake was doing as soon as he spoke and she didn't bother to stop from rolling her eyes. She knew he wasn't serious, that he wouldn't cause her harm. "Oh come on, Jake. You're all gonna gang up on me the first chance you get? Be serious. Stop this."

* * *

Jasper didn't need to be reminded of the treaty that the Cullens had with the pack. It predated his time with Carlisle and the family, going back several decades before he even knew they existed. When Jasper was told of it, he was immediately nervous and wary of the treaty. Him cohabiting with the Cullens was a big reason why they'd stayed away from Forks for so long. Jasper was admittedly the weakest link in their tightly connected chain. He'd slipped up more times than anyone else, unable to control his bloodlust which resulted in him taking innocent lives. By the time they did return to Forks, his record was fairly clean. He'd started going to school with the others, finally, and he was doing much, much better. The family was risking everything by putting their faith in him to be able to control himself. Fortunately at the time, they'd had a mind reader and a Seer to give a heads up if he was going to slip. Yet even after those tragic losses, the family had not moved. They still held true to their faith in him.

The fact that Bella being turned into a vampire would break the treaty was something that had, of course, crossed his mind. But if they went through with the change somewhere outside of Forks, would that still be breaking the treaty? He didn't think it mattered. There was something that Jacob Black seemed to be forgetting.

"As I seem to recall hearing, you were the one who broke the treaty first, dog." His voice was steady and calm, but firm and very much to the point. "Did you or did you not tell Bella that we were 'the Cold Ones,' thus planting the knowledge in her mind of what we are? You did not uphold your end of the treaty. Any actions on my part or the part of my family should have no effect on the treaty, because it's been violated already."

Jacob just rolled his eyes. "I didn't say you were vampires. I just told her a story." He didn't want to admit that Jasper was right about what he'd done. Besides, him giving Bella hints about what the leeches really were wasn't nearly as bad as one of them biting and killing her! That wasn't even remotely the same thing.

"Bells, you can't honestly tell me you want to be like them. You've had nothing but trouble in your life since you got close to that family. But at least the first leech was able to control his impulses."

Jasper sent out a warning growl when Jasper mentioned his fallen brother. That was a very, very touchy subject. He did not respond well when anyone talked about Edward or Alice. "Don't you ever talk about him as if you knew the first thing about him," he cautioned, his fists clenching at his sides.

"What's to know?" Jacob asked, still trying to get Jasper to lose his temper. "You're all the same, except you might possibly be the worst of them. What makes you think he's going to mate with you, Bella? And even if he does, the concept hasn't exactly stuck, has it?" He turned to Jasper again. "How many is this for you, now? Isn't your kind supposed to mate for life or some pathetically romantic tripe like that?"

That, nearly caused him to leap on Jacob and kill him right then and there. He could feel the malice and spite coming from Jacob, and Jasper knew that he was trying to get the predicted reaction out of him. He was trying to get him to lash out violently. Still, despite knowing that, it was all he could do not to kill him. "Bella has my heart forever. She knows that. Nothing else matters," he growled, barely able to stand still.

* * *

Jacob was smarter than Bella maybe would have given him credit for. She knew that he was trying to get to Jasper, but when that didn't appear to be working, he instead, turned the tables on her and tried to get inside of her head. In turn, _that _would get to Jasper. And thus, even though he had to go through trial and error, especially considering that he was well-matched physically with Jasper as an opponent, in the end he found something that would stick, or at the very least, cause a problem between the oh-so-happy couple. If he couldn't take Bella away and save her by doing so alone, then causing a rift between her and Jasper was the second greatest alternative. He was still hopeful in that she would turn to him for comfort as she had so many time in the past and that one of these times, she would finally stop being blind and open her eyes to someone who would treat her better than any leech.

He knew when he'd won. Jasper might have had the last word in when he contradicted Jacob's words, but the look on Bella's face said it all. Her expression said everything he needed to know. It had fallen when he'd spoken and though he knew she would probably be hurt by his words, they were all true and it was better for her to come to terms with them instead of torturing herself by staying in self-harming relationships with leeches. Nothing good had ever come from spending time with them and Bella was a first-hand account.

The mention of Edward was a low blow. Every time Bella heard his name, it struck her heart and she imagined it always would. It was one thing to hear about Edward by his family, who could only speak the world of him. She could still feel a tugging at her heartstrings, but it wasn't quite so painful. But when Jacob referred to him in such a derogatory manner, it felt like a hole ripped through her. Jasper must have felt it to for he responded in a way that Bella wished she could have. She was stunned momentarily that Jacob would resort to such a low comment.

The ones to follow about Jasper didn't hurt any less. It was true that Jacob didn't know about Jasper's past as much as he liked to think he did. Yes, it was generally spoken that a vampire was supposed to have one mate for life. But under those terms, it was expected for both parties involved to live for eternity. With Maria, Jasper was barely surviving. He wasn't truly living. She killed his soul and his spirit and crushed his heart ;he had to get out and when he found the strength to do it, he did. That took a lot, especially since she was not only his mate, but his creator as well. When he'd found Alice, his hope had been restored. But neither of them expected that to end with her untimely death. Both were unpredictable situations that didn't leave the desired outcome. But they all led to the same place.

Bella had thought she would be with Edward forever, just as he'd thought he'd found his mate for life. And he had – for his life. But nobody predicted that his life would be shorter than hers ultimately and thus, circumstances changed. Jasper and Bella found each other. They'd known each other before, of course, but they _found _each other. And so, of course Bella knew Jasper's words were correct – she knew she had his heart forever and he, in turn, had hers. But Jacob's words still stung, especially since they were unforeseen.

Bella didn't know if they were finished, but what she did know, was that she didn't want to hear anymore. Turning, she didn't say anything to either of them before going back to the passenger side of the car and buckling herself in, closing Annabelle's door out to any sound or hurt that words had caused. They could fight all they wanted to.

* * *

It was true that vampires were intended to mate for life. They found their other halves, and remained joined for the rest of their eternity. It was in their nature; once they devoted themselves to one other vampire, their eyes did not roam for another, their hearts did not yearn for another. Jasper, for what it was worth, _had _devoted himself to those he had been with. His situation with Maria was complex. While it might have seemed he had abandoned her, in truth, she wasn't his to abandon. While he might have given himself to her, she never did so with him. Her heart was never his. He had lost nothing when he left, except for what he hoped was a side of himself that he'd never have to see again. There was no love lost, because by the time he left, he was so emotionally destroyed that he didn't have the capacity to love anymore.

With Alice, it was completely different. He _had_ devoted himself to her completely. He'd loved her, pledged himself to her and had not wavered once in nearly sixty years. It had been his intention to spend his eternity with her, just as Bella had intended with Edward. There was no denying that they had loved each other, and that the their two lost loves would always have places in their hearts. The pain that he and Bella were feeling right now caused by Jacob was evident of that. If things had not played out the way they did, the two of them would probably not be where they were right now. But there was no sense in thinking of things like that, because this _was _the situation. Alice and Edward had been taken from them, and the two of them found each other. It wasn't malicious; they'd needed each other during a time when they were the only two people on the planet that could possibly understand each other's pain. What Jacob had done was try to demean that, to make it sound like Jasper did not take love seriously; that he wouldn't devote himself to Bella because he'd loved before.

Jasper could feel Bella's pain, and he knew she could feel his. This wasn't something that either of them had been anticipating. He thought that they'd exchange heated words, threaten each other, then separate like they always did. He wasn't expecting to become depressed, or worse, that Bella would be affected in such a way. It was disgusting, the low that Jacob had sunk to in order to get a reaction. What was that supposed to do? What could possibly come from hurting Bella in all this? He tried his best to glare at him, but he couldn't. He was so hurt, that he just stared. He heard the car door open and close and knew Bella was inside.

"Get out of the way," he said lowly, and turned to get in the car as well.

He didn't even give Jacob a chance to respond. He turned the key in the ignition and started Annabelle, swerving around Jacob and driving off. He said nothing, because the emotions in the car were far too highly strung for words right now. Both of them were defeated. They needed to get away, to a safe place. He didn't go to their house, though. Instead, he drove silently all the way to the abandoned fairgrounds. When the car stopped, he turned the ignition off again, and went through the motions of getting out of the car, then walking to her door and opening it for her, taking her hand and helping her out as he always did. Everything seemed to come together at this place. They needed that right now.

* * *

It was times like this when Bella was glad that she and Jasper didn't always have to use words to get across how they were feeling. She would have preferred that the understood, unspoken emotions were ones that were far more pleasant, but she was glad that he didn't say anything when he'd gotten into the car, turning away from Jacob Black and what could have been a very threatening situation if he allowed his anger to get the better of him. But it wasn't anger that Bella felt the strongest when Jasper joined her in the driver's seat of the car. It was sadness, depression. And she knew that it was his own making, not just a reflection of how she felt.

She knew where they were going before the roads materialized to prove it. For how excited she had been for it prior to the altercation, it didn't seem like Bella would be getting her normal date out for a night with her boyfriend to see a movie. She didn't care so much anymore, not after the harsh sting of Jacob's words stung like ice water thrown in her face. She knew Jasper had felt that too. The reason she could tell that he hadn't been expecting Jacob's choice of words either had been because of the depression she felt from him in place of his previous anger.

When they got to the fairgrounds and he held out his hand to help her out of the car, Bella kept a hold on his fingers. Her palm pressed against his, warm to cold, and she linked their fingers as they walked toward their special little safe haven. Her other hand crossed her body to hold his as well, both of hers covering his hand as if she were keeping it safe, cherishing it as the two of them moved together. They didn't have to speak yet, but she still wanted to be close to him and she still wanted _him _to know that she wanted to be close to him.

At their noticeably unblemished carriage, she let go of his hands long enough to wait for him to crawl into the space first. When he did, she twisted herself between his limbs, settling back between his legs so she could lean comfortably against his chest. It reminded her of one of the very first time they'd come here to spend time with one another and though sitting with her back to his chest allowed for the chill of his skin to affect her quicker, Bella didn't care. She wanted – needed – to be close to him for the time being.

It was still a few minutes before she said anything, when she finally did, it was a reassurance that he needed to hear directly from her. "You'll always be the only one to have my heart too," she said.

* * *

There had not been any question in his mind of where they were going as soon as they were both in the car once again. Going to the fairgrounds was the only place that they _could _go. While their house was a sacred haven for them too, the fairgrounds had its own special pull that could not be recreated anywhere else. They would surely build many memories in their house, but they needed the familiarity and presence that could be felt from everything they'd shared in the carousel. They would be able to heal there, to overcome this sadness and be there for each other.

Jacob's words had really succeeded in having an effect on him. It really bothered him that someone who barely even knew him had made an assessment that, when looked at on the surface, actually did sound true. He had mated himself to two other vampires. Even if the losses were due to elements out of his control, should he not have spent the remainder of his days pining over his lost love? Was he supposed to have wandered the streets, crushed and in despair over Maria never returning the love he'd pledged to her? When he lost Alice, he _had _fallen into the deepest depression he'd ever felt up until that point. He'd lost his will to exist. He understood what it was like to lose a true mate, and had been prepared to face his eternity alone in utter despair. That was what he had thought he was meant to do, but then everything changed. How was that so? How had he managed to be so lucky to find love with Bella? It had started with him wanting to finish what Edward and Alice had intended to do, which was keep her safe. But somewhere along the way, he'd fallen in love with her, effortlessly. She was his mate, despite not even being a vampire. He'd devoted himself to her, and nothing was going to change that.

To say that his love was not true for her, that he would not love her when she was a vampire, was to do his heart a complete disservice. Jacob had implied that he did not take love seriously, that he did not value love, that he could not love truly or passionately, forever. That was so far from the truth, that it physically hurt his heart to even think about. There had been a time in his life when Jasper felt he did not deserve love, that he did not have the ability to love truly, just as Jasper said. Because of that, he had come to value and cherish love above all other feelings. It was the one that meant the most to him, and loving Bella was the most important element in his life. He loved her with all of his heart, with everything he had. She meant everything to him and that wasn't going to change. Even if, God forbid, another life-changing incident happened and they were torn apart for reasons beyond their control, he would always love her. Jacob could not have been more wrong about him, and he knew that, but it was still very difficult to hear. And for him to disrespect Edward and Alice's memory was one of the lowest things the werewolf could ever do. It was a very sensitive subject for him that he never spoke about. It had been the source of a meltdown he'd previously had, when he felt he'd betrayed his former mate's memory by forgetting her. Since then, he'd learned how to keep her memory but focus on the present and still devote himself to Bella. What Jacob had done was to try to derail him from that path. It wouldn't work, but it was still painful to think about.

He sat down in the bench that he'd sat in countless times before. It was familiar, comfortable. Even the wood of the carriage was comforting; he'd laid on it with his head in Bella's lap before, while she stroked his curls and comforted him. They'd been happy here. He wanted that again. His arms slid around her front as she sat with her back against him. He worried for the cold, but he knew that positioning themselves like this, he could envelope her in his embrace. He rested his chin on her shoulder and looked straight ahead. Her words did bring him comfort, even though he already knew it was true. It was still reassuring to hear it.

"I'm not going to change you and then leave you behind. I already think of you as my mate, Bella. That will not change."

* * *

The idea of Jasper changing her and then leaving her was never something that crossed Bella's mind truth be told. The closest thing she had to it in terms of negative thoughts was that if her personality was different, if she was too difficult to control or wasn't the same person once she was a vampire, that he wouldn't want to be with her any longer, that he wouldn't love her the same. She was so torn between being convinced that she would be the same person she was now once she was transformed and being someone she didn't recognize at all. She didn't know how it would go – none of them did. Even though they all had some sort of their own account from when they were all changed from humans, they hadn't been willing. That made Bella's situation a lot different alone. Nobody knew how she would react once she was bitten, nor what would come afterward.

She knew Jasper loved her now – there was no question of that. He couldn't deny it if she could feel it not only in her own heart, but literally coming from him as well. But she was human. He loved her as a human. How could they both know for sure he would love her the same when she was a vampire? It was pretty obvious that he undoubtedly would, but that was the only concern Bella had previously. The two of them discussed it prior when they were speaking of what it would be like for her to undergo the transformation. He's reassured her then and he was reassuring her now; it didn't matter what had transpired before with Jacob Black trying to plant rifts in between the two of them in order to prevent them from being together, let alone letting Bella be bitten.

But Jacob didn't understand what the love between them was like and he never would. Nobody would truly grasp what it was comprised of. Even those closest to them – the Cullen family, even Bella's own family – would have a difficult time fully realizing how strong it was. It was the kind of love that could only come from being unexpected. Neither of them had been looking for the other and yet, that was how they'd found each other. Difficulties and heart aches that were now in the past were the reason they were drawn to one another and that shove had been all it took for them to fall for one another. And Jasper was right – it was effortless. To Bella, love had also become her most prized emotion, the one that meant everything. It was Jasper who was mainly to take credit for that, even more so than Edward. While Edward had been her first love and someone she really did give her heart to, it was difficult to understand love fully until it followed loss. When she lost Edward and still was able to find love with Jasper, it showed how strong and how powerful an emotion it truly was.

"I know," she assured him, laying her arms atop his and closing her eyes as she leaned her head back against his shoulder. And she did know. There was no need to question or discuss it further as if there were doubts.

She was quiet then. Bella's thoughts were revolving around love once more, how significant it was; how it was everything. He would be able to feel it. For now, it was what they both needed.

"Let's skip the movie," she said, still with her eyes closed. "Let's just stay here. Just the two of us."

That too, was all that they needed.

* * *

**Author's Note: **A little bit of a tense chapter, this time with Jacob who really is starting to be ridiculous with how petty he is. Next chapter will show a little more of him, but in a very different context. Since we've had a few tense chapters, why not a little break in chapter 5? Jasper arranges a very special outing for the day in hopes to win Charlie over. It's a fun one so be on the lookout for that being posted soon! Please remember to review! Cheers!

**Lyrics:** The Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional


	5. Chapter 5

_With my hands open_  
_and my eyes open_  
_I just keep hoping_  
_that your heart opens ;;_

It did not take long at all for Jasper and Bella to recover from the blow that Jacob Black had delivered in an attempt to break them up, yet again. The thing about true love was, no matter what obstacles they were presented with, and however painful those obstacles might have been, they could always come back to the fact that they loved each other. In the grand scheme of things, did anything else matter? Not to Jasper, save for Bella's happiness. For now, at least, he was able to contribute to that happiness, so falling back on that love and always cherishing it and nurturing it seemed to be the right thing to do. It didn't matter what anyone else thought, really, because they knew in their hearts that they were right for each other.

Even if Jasper did not feel worthy, or even if Bella didn't think she was good enough, there was no denying that they loved each other deeply. No one could take that away from them, no matter how hard they tried. It was a sad fact that anyone would try to sabotage the love and happiness of anyone else, but it seemed to be a recurring theme in their life together. Jasper tried not to let it bother him, but the fact that Bella's own father wasn't exactly fond of him was a bit of a problem. He knew that it put a strain on Bella's relationship with him, and he really didn't like that. He wanted very much to help alleviate that stress if he could, but short from ending his relationship with Bella (which obviously was not an option) Jasper wasn't sure what else he could do.

That is, until his own father proposed a very promising idea.

During the previous month, Carlisle had been asked to do an extensive corrective surgery on a very prominent baseball player for the Seattle Mariners. The player had just returned to practices within recent weeks and his first game after recovering was soon after. As a sign of their gratitude, the team gave Dr. Cullen as many tickets as he would like for that first game. Not only that, they were also offering for him and his guests to watch the game from either a private box, or down in the dugout with all the players to get a first hand look from the baseline. They would also be permitted a meet-and-greet, given they'd be sitting right with the players. Knowing that Bella's father was an avid baseball fan, especially of the Mariners, Carlisle had suggested to Jasper that they extend the invitation to the game to Bella and Chief Swan, as a way to bridge the gap between them and smooth things over.

He also suggested that they invite Billy and Jacob Black. It wasn't ideal, and Jasper had outright refused at first, but Carlisle explained that having "allies" there might make Charlie relax and open up a little more. He wouldn't feel as overwhelmed if the playing field was even, and it was also good social etiquette to extend a "peace offering" so to speak, to their enemies. Carlisle, ever the mediator, thought it would be in their best interests to at least extend the hand of peace in the wolves' general direction.

Jasper was reluctant, but eventually he gave in and pitched the idea to Bella. When all was said and done, all the parties agreed to attend. And they'd gotten into it, too. Jasper and Carlisle were both wearing customized Mariners shirts, and they'd gotten one for Bella as well. Charlie was offered an official player's shirt with "Swan" written on the back. They did not purchase any for the Black's, however, but the two were the only ones who seemed to notice.

The group was escorted to the stadium in Seattle by way of a private stretch hummer limousine. It was rare that the Cullens did anything to drawn attention to themselves, especially Jasper, but it was important for him to pull out all the stops on this particular day to make it memorable for the chief. Carlisle was brilliant in his ways of keeping the conversation flowing naturally without any room for awkward tension. Jasper chimed in when he could, but most of his attention was on Bella. Jacob did not really say much at all unless directly spoken to, and clearly he was not thrilled to be going to this event. Billy was torn. While he hated being anywhere near the Cullens, he was excited about the prospect of seeing his favorite baseball team play and meet the players in the process. He didn't care at all about smoothing things over with the Cullens, though. He just wanted to benefit for his own personal gain.

When they arrived, they were taken down to the field where they were able to sit in the dug out and watch the players warm up. Jasper honestly wasn't that into baseball, but he truly hoped that Charlie would open up to the fact that he was dating his daughter after this day. He'd brushed up on his baseball trivia before coming out here and hoped it would be enough. Fortunately he had Carlisle to do a lot of the talking.

They were all sitting amongst players, and Jasper was of course sitting next to Bella. He had an arm around her shoulders, even though he probably ought to have been keeping his distance what with Charlie so close. But the chief needed to get used to the idea of Jasper being affectionate to Bella, so he figured he might as well go for it and actually touch her. He could feel the police chief's eyes, Billy's eyes, and Jacob's eyes all burning holes into the sides of his head, but he did not feel intimidated.

"Do you want to eat or drink?" he asked Bella, and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

* * *

When it came to Jasper and Bella's relationship, the two of them were the only ones who really mattered when it came down to it. Their happiness and their love for one another was what connected them and though others could try to break through that, it ultimately had no effect in the long run. But it was also true that the approval of their families was something that both of them held as important as well. Charlie was the most difficult to bring around. As a father, he had a right to be protective over his only daughter. His only _teenage_ daughter. She might have been nineteen and an adult, but to Charlie, she would always be his little girl, whether he admitted to that aloud or not. He tried to play it cool with how much Bella meant to him, but really, she was his world. That was why he'd been so critical of the boy who took her away from that. When Jasper came into her life – unexpectedly for Charlie as well – he watched her change from a lifeless, hollow shell to someone who had a spirit again, a heart. But in turn, her affections were tended to Jasper far more often and she wished to spend her time with him rather than at home.

It had been a struggle to bring Charlie out of those negative outlooks, but when Jasper presented the idea to Bella about including him in something that her father truly loved, she knew it would make a significant impact. If not at first, in the long run, it certainly would. It was even a greater gesture to extend the invitation to some who were certainly not fans of the Cullens, but who were dear friends to Charlie. She had been wary at first of the Blacks tagging along, but when Jasper explained to her what Carlisle had suggested, then she came around to the idea. It was sweet that Jasper was willing to allow that when she knew what a difficult time he'd had with Jacob, especially the last time they'd come across one another.

Bella should have known that it wouldn't have been as simple as going to a baseball game. No. Instead, there was grand transportation and the best seating involved. Even personalized clothing. It was very Cullen style and she could only imagine how grateful the team and the managers must have been to Carlisle for his services to one of their best players. It was one thing after another it seemed and even though Bella wasn't into baseball, she was having a really good time. The best part of all of it was getting to see how excited Charlie was. It was rare that her father really showed enthusiasm about something, but today was a definite exception. This was far better than any flat screen television. This was up close and personal.

The other best part?

That currently had his arm wrapped around her. Jasper wasn't the only one who noted there were a few pairs of eyes boring into the couple, but Bella willed herself to relax. Because he had a point; her father needed to know that they were indeed together and they loved one another. They were going to show it, not conceal it or be embarrassed or ashamed by it. It was actually more unnerving to Bella to be so coupled up amongst the team of baseball players that surrounded them. A few of them joked about her and Jasper snuggled into one another and Bella could feel her cheeks flushing more than a few times. It didn't help that she was literally the only one possessing estrogen anywhere around. That was bound to put a girl ill at ease, but Jasper helped by staying near her.

"No," she said, shaking her head. She didn't want to say yes and suddenly have filet mignon or champagne thrust upon her. Honestly at this point, it wouldn't have been so far-fetched taking everything else into account.

Thus far, it was clear that everyone was having a good time. Carlisle was chattering up nearly everyone he came in contact with and yet, always remained suave while doing so. Charlie was asking questions, paired with shooting looks at Jasper every so often, alternating between making remarks about batting averages and considering wedging himself between his daughter and her boyfriend. But baseball seemed to be winning over. When the game started, it was hard for him to pay attention to Jasper. Even Billy was struggling, despite how greatly he despised the blonde. Jake was the one who was having the most trouble dealing with the pair of them seated in the dugout. In near matching shirts no less. He at least kept himself nearby to the two of them, making a snarky remark whenever he could.

"I see you've got yourself a new shirt," he said nodding to Jasper. "Did you steal that one too?" Similar comments were made when he could get away with them. Bella, each time, just cast him a warning look.

Instead, she fixated on Jasper. "You realize this is all too much, right?"

* * *

Jasper was glad to see and feel that Charlie was enjoying himself. He sincerely hoped that this outing would mend the broken fences that they had in their strained relationship. Yes, he realized that he and Carlisle were somewhat buying their way into his good graces, but it really wasn't _like that_. This was something Jasper knew that Charlie would enjoy. It was an opportunity that did not present itself everyday, not even for the Cullens. What was wrong with jumping into a situation when it all but fell into their laps?

It wasn't the grand display that Jasper was even focusing on. It was building a relationship with Charlie. He wanted to make things easier for Bella, and he wanted to be welcome in her home again. There had been a time period, however brief, when the chief of police actually _did_ trust him with Bella and had come to appreciate his presence in her life. He wanted to go back to that time, or rather, progress into a time where Charlie had no reservations about him being with his daughter. That was what this day was about for Jasper; not schmoozing with baseball players and limousine rides.

Unfortunately, Jacob Black seemed focused only on the fact that the Cullens had dazzled Charlie with this exclusive behind-the-scenes sort of trip. Rather than trying to keep his relationship with Charlie as pristine as it always had been, Jacob was focusing on the negative. He wasn't into the game, he wasn't enjoying himself. He was making jabs at Jasper, glaring at him, and trying to point out all his flaws in front of Charlie. Much to his dismay, it really wasn't working. Charlie, as much as he liked disliking his daughter's boyfriend, liked baseball more. Of course, the police chief wasn't a fool. He knew that this was an attempt to get into his good graces, and though it was a little much, he wasn't going to pass up the chance to sit in the dug out with his favorite baseball team. And, he was loathe to admit it, but he appreciated this gesture.

Jasper shrugged innocently. "You'll have to take that up with the coach of the team, Belle. He's the one who set up this arrangement. The limo was just convenient. And the shirts, well, we're certainly not the only ones supporting the Mariners, are we?" He flashed her a sideways smirk and tipped his baseball cap to Billy and Jacob. The two negative influences certainly weren't going to spoil his day.

At one point while everyone stood to stretch their legs just before the Mariners were set to bat again, the young man who was carrying all the bats out for the players accidentally dropped several. Jasper, ever the gentleman, sprung up to help pick them up as some of them had rolled over towards where they were sitting. One of them was left behind, but the coach said not to worry about it; they had enough to get through. Jasper picked up the bat and subconsciously started playing with it. He bounced it back and forth, spun it around, even tossed it a few times and caught it. He wasn't even really aware that it was a bit of a sight, because he wasn't thinking about it as he did it. This was nothing all that impressive in a family of vampires (even though, none of them had ever shown a display of hand-eye coordination like that). However, the coach took notice and so did pretty much everyone else.

"Your boy playing for his school, Carlisle?" the coach asked.

"I'm afraid not," Carlisle replied, sighing to give it a bit more of a dramatic effect. "He's got the talent, though. A few scouts sought him out before we moved to Forks, but he wanted to focus on his grades in his last two years of high school."

"So he can actually hit the ball?" the coach joked, laughing a bit.

"Absolutely."

This, of course, reached Charlie's ears. It reached Billy and Jacob's ears, too. Their eyes all shot to Jasper. Jasper had heard Carlisle talking him up, too, but pretended not to. He also pretended not to feel all the sets of eyes on him. He spun the bat over his hand one more time and then stopped, not wanting to draw anymore attention to himself.

"Dad, you're exaggerating," Jasper said, smiling shyly.

"I'll say," Jacob snorted, annoyed.

* * *

It was no surprise to Jacob that the leech was good at baseball. To the outside eye, he knew Jasper would come across as the golden child in everything he did, despite the fact that he was actually a cold-blooded killer. But he could feel how smug the bloodsucker was, even though it was clear that the vampire was trying to be nonchalant. The fact that he was insanely jealous never crossed Jacob's mind. It didn't occur to him that his jealousy was the main reason he had such an intense hatred toward the blonde. Of course Bella was what most of that jealousy revolved around. But now it was just annoying – the flashy cars, the expensive outings, the bat-handling skills – they all sickened him. That was why, when everyone else watched in awe of the way Jasper twisted the bat around effortlessly, his eyes darkened significantly and he tried to focus on the game and not the impressed chatter in the dugout.

Bella wasn't surprised he was good at baseball either. She remembered that Jasper was quite good when she joined one of the Cullens baseball games over a year before. She wished she would have been paying more attention to his skill and appreciating it instead of being in awe. She was still slightly awed now. Unlike Jake, she knew that Jasper probably didn't even realize how it all looked to the outsiders when he was aimlessly toying with the bat. She didn't know how true Carlisle's words were, but she would have bet that if Jasper had actually been seen by any scouts, they would have fought over the prospect of getting them to go to their school.

One thing was for certain. Before, when she'd joined the baseball game with the family, she didn't realize how well baseball clothes seemed to suit him. The shirt he wore stretched and hugged his chest when he twirled the bat easily and for a few moments, all Bella could do was stare. Unlike most of the men who were observing his bat-skills, she was focusing more on his physique than the bat. Suddenly she wished she would have accepted when Jasper asked if she wanted a drink. Her mouth was feeling very dry for some reason.

That news of Jasper's skill certainly piqued Charlie's interest. "You've thought about it?" he directed at Jasper, his eyebrows lifting.

Well, it was harder to dislike his daughter's boyfriend if he was a well-sought athlete, especially in baseball. That was something he hadn't considered when he was busy hating him for the wrongs he committed. Those wrongs were becoming smaller. It seemed that once Charlie saw one of Jasper's good qualities that it was easier to recall that he had others as well. When Bella had gone missing a few months before, he had been the one to safely return her. Even with the hiccup that the sudden getaway caused, it was hard to forget that. It helped too that he respected Carlisle so much and was frequently hearing him speak highly of his son, especially on this afternoon at the ballpark.

As the game progressed, it was looking like it would be a win for the Mariners. It was a closer match in the beginning, but by the fifth inning, the Seattle-based team pulled ahead of the Indians. With tensions not so high, the backup pitcher asked if Charlie would like to help him warm up. Never before had Bella seen such light in her father's eyes as she did when he was offered that opportunity. He of course accepted and she swore he'd even puffed his chest out a bit proudly as he walked to the side of the dugout to act as the catcher for the warm up.

"Time for you to see some of your old man's skill, Bells," he said, adopting an air of confidence that was rare in the police chief.

"Let's see then, Dad," she said with amusement as she watched.

It was so much more exciting for her to be paying attention to things like this – and like the fit of Jasper's clothing – than the game itself. She leaned back against the bench and sighed happily, never expecting to be so at ease at any type of sporting event.

* * *

Jasper shrugged again in response to Charlie's question. "The thought crossed my mind," he replied. "My family's always been into baseball. I just like to play."

Carlisle smiled. "He's being modest. He learned to bat left-handed eight years ago. He was offered several full rides to schools on baseball scholarships. Short stop and third base. His batting average was pretty solid. He's been taking time off to consider his options, but we get letters at the house every few weeks from schools expressing their interest."

For Jasper, he didn't really like to be the center of attention. Carlisle wasn't lying; Jasper _had_ played baseball at the school they attended before moving to Forks and he had been receiving offers. He just never considered them because of the family and their situation. He couldn't sign on to a team and risk making a name for himself because it would put the family's secret in jeopardy. He also didn't feel right about making it big in a game when he was only blessed because of his vampiric abilities.

Charlie was impressed and the only reason he didn't press it further was because he was asked by the backup pitcher to catch for him. Jasper was pleased to see the police chief really getting into it and enjoying himself. And truth be told, he wasn't bad. Jasper could feel his excitement and nervousness, but he held it together and managed to catch several of the pitches. He and Carlisle both clapped for him. Then, of course, the pitcher asked about Bella, to see if she wanted to take a turn at batting to see if the talent actually did run in the family.

"Bells?" Charlie wasn't sure that was such a good idea. She might swing and hit one of the players with the bat. But, how could he let his daughter pass up the opportunity to hit a ball pitched by a member of the Mariners team? It would be one of those crowning moments he'd remember forever. "She'd love to. Come out here, Bella."

Jasper raised an eyebrow, but smirked a bit. "Come join the fun, Belle. I'll help you hold the bat."

Jacob perked at that, and growled under his breath. To him, that was just an excuse to publicly feel up Bella in front of everyone and be able to get away with it. Maybe to Jacob, that's exactly what it would have been if he'd been the one to jump on that opportunity, but to Jasper, it was to include Bella in the fun - _and_ an excuse to put his arms around her. Jasper picked up a bat and motioned for Bella to come out of the dug out and stand with him.

"Just hold it like this," he said, stepping behind her after she joined him and slid his arms around her, placing her hands on the bottom of the bat. His body formed easily to hers from behind and he couldn't help but sneak a kiss to her temple. "That's perfect. Just keep your eye on the ball and swing."

* * *

So much for the ease Bella felt earlier. Her muscles clenched so tightly together that she felt frozen when the tables were turned on her and instead of everyone talking about how skilled Jasper was, they were all focusing on one person who definitely was _not_. It was like a domino effect. Once the idea of her trying out some baseball skills had crossed one person, it spread throughout the dugout. She was suddenly very conscious of the fact that all around her, there was nothing but testosterone. She'd been aware of it when they first arrived and she was noticeably the only female around with the exception of those in the crowd who were the next closest, but because the attention had been on her father and on the doctor and his skilled son, she'd relaxed not too long after.

Right now, she very much wanted to crawl back into the ridiculously large seats in the limousine and forget about the game all together. But she obviously wasn't getting out of this situation. There was a brief flicker of hope when the pitcher mentioned something to Charlie that her dad would remember how skilled she was at any sort of athletic activity. Or rather, _unskilled_. Surely, he wouldn't want to embarrass her or even himself for that matter. But to Bella's dismay, he agreed to it. Without asking her opinion on the matter. Her face looked panicked and when she looked toward Jasper to save her, she was absolutely horrified to learn that he wasn't intending on saving her at all. Instead, he was _encouraging_ this idea. Her jaw dropped when she saw him get the nerve to even _smirk_... in that devastatingly handsome, charming, willing-to-walk-into-traffic-for way.

She shook her head immediately. "No," she said firmly. "No way."

But that reaction was greeted with a sudden outpour from the dugout. The guy next to her smacked her shoulder (harder than he probably realized because she definitely had to wince, not just from the embarrassment) and nudged her upward. To avoid him and settle the rest of the cheers from the dugout, Bella sighed and walked over to where Jasper was waiting, being sure to shoot him a look of death that was very telling before standing in front of him.

What she didn't expect was a bonus of having him so close to her when he 'helped her swing.' She was very aware of the chill of his body pressed tightly to hers and the scent of him that was suddenly consuming her senses. That made it very difficult for her to be mad at him _and_ very difficult to concentrate on the ball as he instructed. His hips. His hips were against her and she momentarily forgot that there were about two and a half dozen sets of eyes on her. The smell of him was making her dizzy and his little kiss didn't help matters much and she was about a half second away from turning around and kissing him properly when a round, white object was suddenly flying at her face.

Instinctively, Bella squeezed her eyes shut immediately and prepared for pain, but somehow, her arms moved and her body twisted with an unnatural grace. There was a crack, a slight pressure on the bat her fingers were wrapped around, and a moment of stunned silence. When she opened her eyes to see what had happened, that moment was over and there was a chorus of cheers at the hit 'she' sent the ball in a hard line drive at the pitcher. He (thankfully) just barely caught it, but when he did, he took his hand out of his glove and gave it a shake.

"Well _shit_! I don't even know if I can pitch now," he joked.

Bella looked horrified and immediately felt guilty. Charlie looked like he'd just won the lottery. The head coach pounded him on the back with a guffaw said, "I'll be damned, Chief. Looks like we might hafta draft your girl here."

If Bella thought her face couldn't have blushed any hotter when she was initially volunteered to take a hit, she was wrong. Right now, she was pretty sure her cheeks were on fire.

* * *

It felt nice to be able to embrace Bella, even if under the guise of helping her swing the bat. Jasper always felt better when he had her in his arms, though it was a brief moment, he would take any he could get. Jasper was careful, of course, when he helped her to swing. If he'd used his full strength, he would've been liable to rip her arms out of the socket or crush her wrists under his grip. He was mindful of his strength and when he moved her arms, did so with great care. It was enough to connect the bat with the ball and hit it right at the pitcher. He hadn't been aiming for him, but that was where it went. Fortunately the man caught it and was pleased. Everyone was, really (save for their not so friendly Quileute company). Bella received quite the applause, the loudest coming from her father.

Jasper was a close second. He turned her around in his arms and embraced her, gently lifting her up from the ground a little as he held her and grinned. "You did it, Belle," he said softly, and lightly pecked her lips.

He wasn't usually one to display his affections in public, but he could not help himself; she was so close and he'd been missing her lips all day. Not even Charlie could be disturbed by Jasper being affectionate to his daughter. If anything, his display showed how much he cared for her and was respectful of her and her body. Seeing how tender he was gave him an idea of how they might act when they're alone together. It wouldn't be that far off, since Jasper always tried to be gentle in how he touched her.

The zoom on the kiss cam that had since started between innings at the game had landed on them while they were embracing in the hopes that a kiss might be caught on the big screen, but had been too late to catch the brief one they shared. Jasper saw it out of the corner of his eye while he was holding her. He set her down gently and made a move as if to kiss her. At the last moment, however, he gently took her hand and kissed it instead, then flashed a smirk to the camera and shook his head. Their kisses were reserved for them only, and maybe the occasional onlooker - in this case Jacob, who was more than a little livid - to see. Jasper didn't care though as he slid his arm around Bella's shoulders and rested his chin on top of her head.

Charlie and the pitcher threw the ball back and forth a couple of more times, before the idea of Jasper hitting the ball was presented. At first he declined, erring on the side of modesty. Carlisle chimed in quickly and insisted he step up and hit a ball or two. Jasper wasn't sure it was a good idea, for fear he'd hit it too hard, or do something to draw more attention to himself, but his father didn't seem to be worried. Before he could protest much more, he was handed a bat, and found himself stepping up to stand several feet away from the pitcher. He gave the bat a quick spin, getting the feel for it. He bounced it from one and to the other, then swung it around again to hold it in the correct position. He bent his knees and watched as the pitcher also took his position. Jacob Black was glaring at him, he knew, and so was the dark haired boy's father. He didn't care. If anything that made him more determined.

The pitcher threw the ball, and Jasper did nothing. He simply let it fly past him. Jacob laughed and made a comment about being a worthless leech. But Jasper calmly lowered the bat a little and shook his head.

"You weren't trying to throw it," he said quietly.

The pitcher looked a bit taken back, but shrugged and chuckled, saying he didn't want to put too much pressure on Jasper. Jasper assured him it would be all right to throw it harder, and so the pitcher complied. He was thinking it would zoom right past Jasper, but of course it did not. He steadied himself, and as the ball came flying towards him, he swung out with the bat and connected the two. He released the bat with one hand, still holding the other as it tipped back behind him from the hit. He watched with his heightened sight as the ball went straight through the practice safety net behind the dugout and saw that it flew into the stands into the hands of some girl who had been swooning all over the team and the Cullens.

The coach's jaw dropped, as did the pitcher's and Charlie's. Charlie immediately went over to Carlisle and asked him why he didn't divulge this little secret, unknown hobby to him any sooner. Carlisle just laughed and called Jasper a treasure. The only two unimpressed, were again, Jacob and Billy Black. Jasper knew it was because of jealousy, but he was not smug about it, really. Only the occasional smirk whenever a cutting jab was thrown his way.

"All right, that's enough of this show," he said, smiling sideways and moving next to Bella again as he dropped the bat. "There's still a game to watch."

* * *

It would take a lot of convincing that it was a good thing for Bella to have participated in 'the fun' as jasper had put it. Normally, affection bestowed upon her from him was always the best reward. And affectionate he was when he lifted her off her feet and kissed her. But even though they had a similar mindset when it came to publicly displaying their affection for one another, it seemed like the blonde was perfectly fine with giving her that kiss. It was nothing like an extremely passionate lip lock or anything ; it was just a simple, chaste kiss. But even the smallest peck on the lips felt like it was obscene in a dugout full of grown men, including both of their fathers and two people who loathed Jasper's very existence. He often got her to blush when they kissed because she held so much adoration for him, but this time it was definitely on account of embarrassment. In addition to the extreme amounts of it she'd already been experiencing after her hand at bat.

As if the situation couldn't have gotten any more awkward, suddenly their faces were on the jumbo screen and the packed house in the stadium was bearing witness to the way Jasper leaned in to kiss her again. It was a small consolation that he spared her and only kissed her hand like a true gentleman, but Bella could see – right on the big screen – the smirk on his face. Again, normally she would have smiled at the way his full lips curved upward like that, but under the circumstances, she felt like burying herself in the dirt.

Thankfully it was Jasper who stole the attention away from her again when the pitcher insisted he take a turn. When he started to decline the offer, Bella shook her head firmly.

"Oh no, no, no," she said, unwrapping his arm from around her shoulders and giving him a small shove in the right direction.

If he made her do it, then he was definitely getting a turn, modest or not. Of course, there was no question that he was beyond skilled with the sport; there wouldn't be an opportunity for him to embarrass himself like Bella would have done had he not been swinging the bat with her.

Even though he'd feigned modesty initially, it was clear that Jasper was confident. It was rare that he held a lot of confidence in himself and Bella quickly learned that when he had it, it was something she liked. It was a rare side of Jasper that, admittedly, she saw more than others, but that the rest of them were getting to see a hint of now. Jacob and Billy Black especially, though they weren't infatuated with it like the way Bella was. Her humiliation started to fade away as she watched him. Her eyebrows lifted when he called out the pitcher for not giving it his all and insisting on a better throw. When he did, Bella couldn't help but to be just as amazed at everyone else. Even though she'd seen his batting skills firsthand before, it was still more than impressive when he drove the ball into the stands.

Because she was still playing at the sore card for being pulled up to bat, she had to bite back a smile when Carlisle and Charlie had their exchange. She couldn't have agreed with the good doctor more – Jasper was definitely a treasure. When that treasure moved toward her, she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh yes, what a game it's been," she said, staring forward at the field and still trying to keep from grinning. But like always, it was hard to even pretend to be miffed with Jasper. "We're fighting. Just so you know," she said, nudging his side with her elbow. "Don't think you're off the hook because of what you do for that baseball shirt either," she added lowly.

It was quiet enough to be a whisper, but of course, Jasper would hear. And what he did for that baseball shirt was a hell of a lot. As much as she'd protested the way they were displayed on the big screen for the kiss cam, Bella knew she was easily envied by the whole of the female population who were paying any attention at all. Even she had to feel a little better about herself on account of that.

"But it does help."

* * *

Much to the dismay of the players, and even to Charlie, Jasper abandoned playing baseball in favor of paying more attention to his girlfriend - which was where he would rather direct his attention anyway. Much to Jacob Black's dismay, the back up pitcher had also moved on before the dark haired boy could give hitting the ball a try in an attempt to impress everyone as well. He was instead forced to sit and brood as he watched Jasper and Bella interact again. It was making him both angry and sick to his stomach. He _hated_ Jasper. This whole outing was a joke to him. What was he trying to pull by inviting him and his father? He knew Jasper hated him just as much.

"I bet they have hot sex," one of the players mumbled to his teammate, right in Jacob's earshot. They were also watching the two interact.

"It's always the quiet girls that are the wildest in bed," the other player agreed, nodding and smirking.

Jasper could hear them, of course, and he didn't really appreciate what they were saying about his and Bella's private, intimate life. He was very tempted to say something to the two that had made the comments, but he did not want to spoil the atmosphere of the day. No one else had heard (except Jacob, which he knew by the way his angry mood heightened), and he didn't want to ruin the day for Charlie or embarrass Bella any further by drawing attention to what had been said about them. This was one of those 'pick your battles' moments, and he chose to let it go. Instead, he kept his focus on Bella.

"We're fighting..? Is this our first?" he asked, looking at her with widened eyes.

His full, lower lip slightly protruded from beneath his upper lip. Very slowly, he lowered his head so that his sad eyes focused on the ground. Yes, he was playing this up a bit, but it was all in good fun. He could feel that she wasn't _really_ angry with him. Not like Jacob was, anyway. He also knew she'd forgive him for making her hit the ball and not preventing the attention from being on her.

"I just wanted you to have a good time, Belle. That's all." He nudged the ground with the toe of his shoe and sighed softly. "I'm sorry." He looked up at her, his golden eyes still wide with innocence and his lips curling into a hopeful smile. "Can you ever forgive me? I'll make it up to you. I'll let you drive us around for the next week in your truck. But I warn you that Annabelle will get jealous. She doesn't like to share."

* * *

Jasper was a smart guy. Even if he didn't possess the ability to feel another person's emotions, there would be no question that he would have been able to tell that Bella wasn't being serious about the two of them being in a fight. It was clear as well that Bella was not a very good actress and never had been, thus it was all too obvious that there was nothing to forgive on Jasper's part. But it was a learning experience to be joking about Jasper being in the doghouse. For example, Bella got a look at the way he pouted when he was trying to gain sympathy. One of her favorite parts about him was his lips. She could – and did – spend hours and hours kissing him, listening to the words that came out of that mouth. It was something she would never tire of doing on either account. Anyone else would be hard pressed to disagree with the fact that one of his sexiest features was the fullness of his pout. And when that pout was hard at work, it made it much more difficult to keep up with the façade.

He looked very much like a disappointed child with his wide, sad golden eyes and the way he focused them downward as he kicked at the dirt. It made her feel guilty even though there was nothing to have caused guilt in the first place considering she'd never truly been angry. But that face… It was a pretty good trick that he could use to his advantage whenever he wanted her to do something. Even someone as stubborn as Bella could admit to melting at his mock sadness. She was just about to clarify that she wasn't really fighting with him when that sad expression morphed into a smile.

That flash of teeth was something else that made her melt. But if Jasper really wanted to get her to come around, all he had to do was exactly what he had. There were a lot of ways to get to a girl's heart and one of the steady paths to Bella's was through her truck. She knew that her choice of vehicle was not something that many people could understand since it was anything but flashy or shiny or new. It was the exact opposite. But still, she'd fallen in love with that truck from the moment she saw it and it was a love affair that had progressed steadily. The fact that Jasper could acknowledge this vital addition in their relationship only went to show how well he knew his girlfriend and her preferences.

"I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you then in that case," she said, a smile finally winning and occupying her face. "And I'm not worried about Annabelle. Don't get me wrong," she said as she led him by the hand to sit back on the dugout bench, away from the more public eye, "I do love her. But she really doesn't stand a chance and I'm more than willing to fight for you."

The rest of the game went smoothly. Thankfully, there were no more baseball lessons for anyone but the Mariners. The Mariners, who, by the way won with a six run lead over the Indians. It moved them into the playoffs for the baseball season which made the win all the more exciting. Charlie could not contain himself. As if there hadn't been enough excitement for the Forks police chief that day, he was offered the game ball. The coach had given it to Carlisle but the doctor felt that it would be far more appreciated by Bella's father, one of the biggest fans of baseball team. When the game had ended, the players all signed the ball before the coach presented it to Charlie. Bella wondered if for a moment she actually saw a glimmer in his eyes, but then she just claimed to have imagined it. There was no way she would ever ask.

After the goodbye's had been had and a million more thank you's to Dr. Cullen for his excellent work on one of the players, it was time for them all to retreat back to the enormous limousine waiting to take them back to Forks. Bella would have been more excited to drive home in her truck normally, but there was benefit of the stretch Hummer that they all situated themselves in. The seats were extremely comfortable and very spacious. For such a long day, the poor girl was exhausted by the end of it. Charlie, of course, was chattering on endlessly on the other side of her to Billy and recounting the day including all of the big plays the team made. But it seemed like background noise when they started back on the road and she leaned her head against Jasper's shoulder. Both of her hands were holding one of his in her lap and for once, the cold wasn't nearly as noticeable since Carlisle had asked the driver to turn up the heat in the back for the way home. She wanted to stay awake as not to be rude to everyone else. But Forks was a few hours north of Seattle and the idea of sleep was too tempting to pass up.

She didn't have much choice. With Charlie pointing out each and every player to Carlisle on the new baseball he acquired, her eyes closed and soon enough, she was dreaming.

* * *

**Author's Note:** That was a fun little chapter just showing a very different setting for Jasper and Bella. We love playing with their happier side and this was a little more public than normal. We also wanted to address Charlie and Jasper's relationship improving which this chapter definitely did. The next chapter is completely opposite and very, very intense. So hopefully this was a nice balance. Let us know what you thought! We love our readers and reviews! Cheers!

**Lyrics:** Hands Open - Snow Patrol


	6. Chapter 6

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open_  
_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_  
_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_  
_And I don't feel right when you're gone away ;;_

After the baseball game, things were noticeably different in the Swan household. Jasper was someone who was more than welcome in it. Since the game, Charlie had permitted the Cullen boy back in the house whenever he wanted without the usual questioning. One night, the two of them even went out into the backyard to throw the baseball around with one another. It was a welcomed change and one that could not have made Bella any happier. The trip to the Mariners game might have had a double motive, but while it killed the rift that was between her father and her boyfriend, it also brought father and daughter closer together too. A big part of that had been not just on account of the fact that Bella was 'a natural' on the baseball diamond as Carlisle had put it so affectionately before they all said goodbye, but it had also been for the fact that the chief could see just how much his daughter adored the boy who stole away her heart. In the same sense, he could see firsthand how much Jasper respected her. To any father, that was not only a plus, but it was a necessity.

Because they were able to spend more time together, it wasn't quite as hard to say goodbye whenever they needed to part for some reason. Of course, Bella never liked being away from Jasper, but there were times when it was a necessary thing, such as when he needed to hunt. He'd been careful around her to never let his eyes lose their golden color, a sign that he was very conscious of being safe when he was around her. That had been strongly implemented after the night of the battle when there was no trace of honey in his gaze. Neither of them talked about it for fear of the memories that it might bring up – that was unnecessary. It was just an understanding when he needed to leave to hunt. He usually almost always started doing so during the daytime or the early evening. For both of them, it was more difficult to be separated at night while Bella was sleeping. For her it was about comfort. For Jasper, it was about protection. She felt comforted when he was there beside her and he felt as if he was protecting her while she was the most vulnerable and unable to do so for herself.

Today had been an example of one of these times. After Bella had woken up, Jasper kissed her goodbye and left to hunt. She expected him to be gone until she was getting ready to go to sleep that night. That way he would have been able to get a good day in where he could satiate his thirst. It had been a few days since he'd hunted last and it was for the best that he take care of his needs. She busied herself with mindless chores for the majority of the morning and into the late afternoon. With Charlie at work, she started in on a lasagna bake that would be easy for them to eat when he was home. When it was in the oven, she concentrated on the laundry. She finished all of Charlie's first and set the clothes away in their proper places before doing her own. When she was finished with the dryer, she went to her room to bring put her own things away.

Immediately she dropped the laundry basket, spilling her freshly cleaned clothes all over the floor. They were completely neglected as her eyes widened at the sight that caused the incident. Just having stumbled into her windowsill, she found Jasper in a way she'd never seen him before.

It was easily the most frightening sight of him she would ever remember, far worse than the night that he'd nearly attacked her. His hair was everywhere and he was covered in dirt. Worse… his clothes were soaked through with blood.

Even though she knew better, her first thought was that the blood was his own and she immediately crossed the room to him, nearly tripping over the basket. Regaining her balance, she started pawing at his shirt, looking for the source of the wounds.

"Jasper?" she questioned frantically. "What happened? Are you hurt?" she asked, continuing to move her hands all over his chest. But it wasn't torn. His shirt was perfect if not for dirty and ruined with angry red.

A second later, she realized that he wasn't injured. Of course he wasn't injured. If he were, there would _be_ no blood.

"Jas, what happened?" she urged, her brown eyes wide with a steady mix of confusion and concern.

* * *

It had been a long time since he'd slipped and fallen.

That wasn't to say Jasper hadn't had a few close calls. Bella's eighteenth birthday party, and when he'd attacked her the day of the battle with the newborns were just two examples. Before they'd met Bella he'd had a couple of close calls as well. But it had been several, several years since he'd actually made the fatal mistake of feeding on a human being. Those slip ups usually resulted in them moving to start over somewhere new. He didn't want that to happen ever again, but unfortunately the future of the Cullens stability in Forks had been threatened.

The day started out like any other in which he was intending to go hunting. Jasper had left Bella's house with the intent of returning before the night hour drew too late. He made the journey outside of Forks to the wooded area in which he and his family liked to hunt. There was not much of a burn in his throat at that point; he did not let himself go thirsty anymore. Still, it was enough that he was in need of a quick fix. Things did not go accordingly, however.

It was very strange, how the events all fell into place. Jasper had gone into the woods, but he hadn't made it very far when he came upon a human male. This young man was, unbeknownst to Jasper, a drug dealer. He'd been hiding out in this area in order to sift through his supplies before leaving to fill a sale. Jasper, unfortunately, was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The human male grew very angry when Jasper stumbled upon him. He accused Jasper of being someone he wasn't, someone who had come looking for drugs without the intent to pay. It was a rare occasion when Jasper spoke to a human (save for Bella - and now Charlie, too). However he felt there was no choice in the matter this time. He had to speak. He'd tried to explain he had no interest in the man or what he was doing. That he'd just be on his way, and never speak of this encounter to anyone.

This was not good enough for the drug dealer. He rose and came at Jasper, swinging. Jasper tried to avoid him, but the man wouldn't let up. It seemed all he could do was run away, avoid him and take off running as fast as he could to get away from him. As he evaded another swing, however, the man lost his balance and fell forward, hitting a rock as he fell down. It split open his forehead and he'd scraped his arms and knees on the ground when he fell.

The blood that seeped from his wounds was too much for Jasper.

Immediately, his body took over, the thirst becoming ever-so-prominent. His throat burned and his animalistic instincts elevated. Jasper couldn't stop himself. He lunged at the man and before he could even register what he was doing, Jasper sunk his teeth into the man's neck. He drank. And drank. The man screamed and writhed in pain as the venom spread and filled the place of his blood. It was only momentary, however, because it did not take long for the venom and the lack of blood to kill the human. Even when he felt him take his last breath, Jasper did not let up. He didn't stop drinking until he'd drained him, and after that he lapped up any stray bits of blood that had spilled from his wounds. As he satiated his thirst, his eyes started to change. Just as he was draining the blood from the man, it seemed that it was spilling slowly into his eyes. Replacing the golden hue was a deep crimson, filling his irises with a frightening red.

This was not the first time that such a thing had happened. Jasper had killed his fair share of humans, countless even, over the course of his vampiric life. That didn't make it easy for him, though. He always suffered from severe depression afterwards, depending on how his victims were feeling as they died and when they took their final breaths. Sometimes the effects did not hit him right away, but when they did, they were crippling. That was the case on this occasion. He didn't feel all the pain and fear, remorse and sadness right away. He panicked, yes, because after he'd fed and the initial high that came from feeding, he realized what he'd done. The unthinkable. He'd put the entire family in jeopardy by breaking the treaty that the Cullens had with the wolves. Not only that. He'd let everyone down. He'd surely disappointed Carlisle. He'd _killed_ someone. He was a murderer again. He was a monster.

A _monster_.

Jasper wasn't sure how he made it back to Bella's. Somehow, though, he'd made the journey and found himself crawling through her window. It was then that he lost it. Being surrounded by her familiar scent, knowing what he'd done, was too much for him. All the emotions that had been creeping up on him suddenly set in and he couldn't even _stand_ anymore. He dropped to the floor and the pain started. It consumed him, wrapping around him forcefully as if he was being tied down and restrained. He felt his victim's pain, his remorse. He felt his guilt for all the evils he'd committed in his life. He felt his anger at dying before it was truly supposed to be his time, his anger at Jasper for being the one to kill him. Jasper wanted to scream, but the pain was too much for him to even open his mouth. He just writhed on the floor, trying his best (though in vain) to overcome it.

He needed Bella. He _needed _her. And yet at the same time, he felt horrible for bringing this to her. He would have to admit what he'd done, and he was terrified she would hate him, be disappointed in him, turn him away. He wouldn't blame her for any of those things, but that didn't mean he could handle it if it happened.

When she came in, he barely heard her. The pain was literally ringing in his ears. He could smell and see her more clearly, though. All his senses were heightened to a degree even more intensely than they usually were. Human blood had that effect. He could not fight her off as she examined him, as his limbs were too heavy for him to move. All he wanted to do was cry. To curl up, disappear, and never surface again. He couldn't hide his despair, and knew that probably everyone within a mile radius could probably feel it due to its extreme intensity.

"I didn't mean to," he sobbed, unable to look at her. He didn't want her to see his eyes. He couldn't bear to look at her with those red, evil eyes; the proof of his sins.

"I... I-I.. I.." he couldn't speak anymore. His voice hitched and he started sobbing again.

* * *

The grief Jasper had been enduring was unlike anything Bella had ever felt coming from him before. The times that had come to the closest in comparison were when Bella told Jasper the truth about what happened in Volterra after finding him in the cemetery unexpectedly. The second time had been more recently when Rosalie so cruelly left Alice's wedding dress in Jasper's room for him to find. It was something that had been done in spite, but it caused the reaction she'd been counting on. Grief. Regret. Such were things she could feel coming from him now, but they were so small, it was as if all of his emotions were concentrated to contain such strength. The sorrow was at the center and it felt, even to Bella, like it was a punch in the stomach, taking away all of her other senses.

His body was shaking so much she could hardly hold onto him. The sobs leaving his lips ripped her apart each time they were sounded. If he was capable of shedding tears, Bella knew they would have been flowing easily under the circumstances. Because of his sobs, she couldn't understand what he was saying. He was stuttering over his words and it was making it hard for her to stay calm when her levels of concern were growing.

"Shh, Jas. Jasper..." she whispered soothingly, trying to get him to calm down long enough to at least explain to her what had happened to him.

And then at all once, Bella understood.

She put two and two together and she figured out the horrible answer to the equation. His grief, his panic, everything he was feeling in addition to his appearance, and she wondered why she hadn't understood it sooner. His words were pushing her in the direction of the conclusion and the final puzzle piece was in the way he seemed to refuse to look at her. She was on the floor with him, holding him when she dipped her head and lifted his chin with one of her hands in order to see for herself. There was the answer. It was painted in red. For a moment, she was stunned into being still. She didn't know how to react to the truth about the situation. The last thing that she expected to happen that day, _did_ and now it was encompassing the two of them.

But a moment was all that Bella could have afforded to stare. "Jasper," she said, raising her voice to be serious. "Jasper, you need to tell me what happened," she said, fixing her hands on his shoulders and shaking him gently to try and get him to come around and give her some answers.

"Look at me," she said, an edge to her tone that was never usually present in her everyday conversation. "You need to tell me. Where?"

* * *

This had not happened in several years. He'd had his moments, but his family had always been there to stop him, to intervene, to keep him from slipping and falling into such a deep despair and depression. He had not tasted human blood in so long; but he hadn't forgotten the effects it had on him. He was stronger, his senses were heightened to a degree than no amount of animal blood in his system could surpass. The taste was strikingly different as well. With animal blood, the burning in his throat was still usually there to an extent. His throat did not burn at all right now. He felt satiated, but he could not even enjoy it due to the extreme pain that was radiating from his heart.

Jasper could not move. He literally could not stand, could not lift himself up. The pain was too intense. He could barely think, let alone speak. As Bella tried to reach him, Jasper could hardly hear her voice. Words were not registering. He tried to fight her when she shook him and tried to lift his head. He didn't want her to see, but he also was too weak from the pain to stop her from moving him. He felt so ashamed; even more than when he'd almost killed her. He was still dry-sobbing when she looked into his red eyes and assessed what had happened. He could feel her fear, her shock over the situation.

She wanted answers. Jasper didn't know how to give them to her. How could he, when he couldn't even speak? He didn't know what to do, and that sent him into even more of a panic. His eyes darted back and forth frantically, as if he was trying to figure out how to answer her, searching for what would give her the answers she needed. His shoulders shook as he was still crying, clutching at his own shirt because he feared if he touched her now he might crush her from holding onto her too tight. He shook his head quickly, because he didn't think he could speak. He certainly wouldn't be able to recount what happened. It was too hard, and too much for him right now.

When she demanded he look at her, he noticed the tone of her voice and knew she was trying to take control of the situation. Jasper was scared, opening his mouth to speak and no words came out, only more sobs. He was trying to mouth the words, trying to vocalize to her where he'd been.

"I.. I was.. I was just on our.. hunting trail.. Humans.. they never go there.. until today." He wasn't sure how he found the strength to speak. It must have been Bella's support that got him talking, but even that was short lived. He looked down again and the crying resumed.

"It.. I-it hurts.. so much."

* * *

Suddenly time felt like it was moving all too quickly.

Jasper's actions were more dangerous than they appeared just on the surface. A human was dead, yes, but that was the least of their problems. Jasper's safety and the safety of the rest of his family were extremely compromised by his moment of weakness. Damage control needed to be put in order and Bella vowed to be the one to do it. She might not have been able to always help as much as she wanted to when it came to preventing serious matters that were exemplified by their different worlds. But this was something that she could do. She could _help _in this situation.

And she would. She would step up to the plate and be brave, the one to take care of Jasper for a change when he was always, always looking after her and keeping her safe. In doing so, she could protect his family. They always risked so much in order to bend the rules for her. This was the chance she had to pay them all back for it.

The biggest cause for concern was the treaty. By taking a human life, Jasper broke the vampire's treaty with the wolves. Considering tensions had been high between the two parties in the past two years especially, there would certainly be no hope of forgiveness on the part of the wolves. If they learned about what happened, they would not have hesitated to attack and that could have had the potential to be extremely dangerous. Not only would a fight ensue, but the Cullens would be forced to leave again. She'd lost them all once and Bella was not about to stand for it happening again. That was why it was vital that she not only find out the information about where and when the mishap occurred, but that she also get Jasper as far away as possible as quickly as she could.

It was so heartbreaking to see him like this, so helpless. He looked like a lost child who was so ashamed. It literally hurt her to see and it hurt even worse when he claimed how badly _he _was hurting. But she didn't have time to wallow in her own negative feelings. Jasper's were what mattered. It was strange how much adrenaline could change a person. Bella, someone usually clumsy and who grew frantic when a bad situation first presented itself had her head firmly on her shoulders.

"Listen," she said, squeezing Jasper's shoulders. "We're leaving. You and me. We're leaving. Right now. We're going away until this is taken care of," she said. Her tone was firm and even, serious. She wouldn't expect Jasper to do much considering how weakened he was, nor would she ask him to. All she needed him to do was to cooperate with her. "Trust me," she said. "Can you do that? Can you just trust me?"

She cupped his cheeks in her hands and gently brushed her fingers through his hair leaning forward to kiss his forehead softly, but she didn't wait for him to answer either way before she was on her feet. Opening her closet, she jumped to reach a duffle bag on her closet shelf. Immediately she started stuffing handfuls of clothes from the laundry basket inside, not even paying attention to what exactly she was taking. It would be good enough.

"I'll be right back," she said. Hurrying to the bathroom, she frantically threw in the supplies she would need into the bag. She didn't want to leave him alone for long. When she came back, she reached for his hand, putting all of her weight into helping him stand. She wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders and had her arm around his back for support.

"Come on," she said. "Let's go. We're going," she promised him. "You have to walk with me, Jasper."

Bella didn't let go of him until they got to her truck. On the way out, she debated grabbing one of Charlie's coats to put over his bloodstained clothes, but she decided against it. The smell might have overwhelmed him with his senses so heightened right now. She didn't want to risk upsetting him. He would have to change later, but they didn't have time for it now. When they got to her truck, she tossed her duffel bag in the back and moved to open the passenger side door for him. Helping him inside, she closed the door before rushing over to the driver's side and climbing into the cab. Before she turned the key, however, she faced him again, moving closer just for a moment.

"It's going to be fine, Jas," she said, her voice still firm, but softened. It was a promise. Stroking her fingers against his cheek, she leaned in and touched her lips to his. That was an even better promise. It also helped to show him that she wasn't afraid of him. Any fear she felt was concerning his safety, not what he'd done.

It was all the strength she had to keep moving though. She really just wanted to comfort him, to take him in her arms and hold him until he stopped shaking, until his sobs subsided. She wanted to kiss the tears that couldn't fall and hold onto his heart to keep it in tact. And she would. She would do all of those things. But for now, she needed to get moving.

Sliding back over, she started the truck and started off toward the glass house on the far side of town. One of her hands stayed in his to give him as much comfort as she could for the time being. But as they got closer to the house, she had to let go in favor of making a phone call. When Carlisle's voice sounded, she hardly gave the doctor a chance to even speak.

"Carlisle, we're coming to the house. There's been an accident. Jasper… We're on our way. I'm getting him out of here. You need to go take care of the body before anyone comes across it," she said before anything else. "The hunting path. It's on the hunting path," she said. Bella knew she didn't have to actually say the words about what had happened. He would understand it now. "The wolves," she reminded him. "It has to be covered up," she said. "We'll be there in a minute. Can you please ask Esme to get some of his things packed? Please?" she asked, the only hint of her resolve slipping in the way she begged. She was just so concerned about getting Jasper to safety and she knew she needed some help.

Dr. Cullen was waiting by the door when Bella's truck pulled up. She gave Jasper's hand a squeeze before she jumped out of the truck. Esme was already pushing past her husband to bring the bag outside.

"Oh," she said, her beautiful face stricken with horror when she could feel her son's sadness. Bella didn't take the bag first. Instead, she was staring in horror at Carlisle. "I thought… Carlisle… the body," she said. He held his hand up to calm her.

"Emmett and Rose both went to take care of it. I have full faith in them," he explained. The brunette nodded and started to move inside the house.

"The keys to his car," she said, looking around for the set to Annabelle. "I'm afraid my truck won't make it. I can't risk something happening to it when we're-"

"Bella…"

"And it doesn't get good mileage, I know. And I don't know if it can handle some of the roads up by-"

"_Bella_." Carlisle's voice was firm. "I don't think it would be the best idea for you to be alone with Jasper right now. His senses are significantly altered. He won't be able to keep control of himself as well as he normally can. Even around you. _Especially_-"

"Carlisle, please," she begged, the pleading in her tone back in full force. "You have to trust me. I- I need to do this. I can't…" she paused, shaking her head. "I can't lose him. I can help this time. I can protect him," she said. "I can _do _this. If- if you go, it will look suspicious. Please," she said. "I know he won't hurt me. I know I'm not in danger. But… he is," she said.

The doctor stared at her for a moment in awe of both her bravery and her resolve. But more than that, of her intent to protect his son. And to protect the rest of the family. "Here," he said, reaching into his pocket and handing her a set of keys. "Take mine." Before she could protest, he shook his head. "It's faster and it's more private. You'll need that right now," he explained.

Bella nodded, the expression showing her gratitude. When the two of them were outside again, Esme had already helped Jasper out of the truck and was moving him toward Carlisle's car, having heard the exchange between her husband and Bella inside the house. When they'll all gotten him situated in the car, along with both of their bags, Esme hugged her tightly.

"Take care of him, Bella," she pleaded. The brunette squeezed her back and nodded again to both of them, promising she would.

After that, it was quiet. They were on the road and though Bella was nervous about driving Carlisle's car, she was more nervous about Jasper's health and well being. She wished she could have held his hand again, but she couldn't take either off of the wheel for fear that her ill knowledge of driving the car would cause an accident. That was the last thing they needed.

"It'll be all right," she promised him again once they were out of Forks. "I promise, Jasper."

* * *

Jasper was barely able to function. He was so consumed with grief and the pain that he felt that he couldn't focus on much else. Basic motions like walking, which he normally did with such ease and grace, were foreign to him. He couldn't even stand without Bella having to help lift him. Knowing that made him feel even more shameful. She shouldn't have to take care of him like this, but he'd gone to her, not to his parents. He only wanted her, only wanted to be near her. He needed her, and no one else. But how could he impose this on her? It wasn't fair; she shouldn't have to deal with the repercussions of his mistakes. This was his burden, and to him, he deserved to feel every bit of pain that was torturing him at the present. He'd committed the most ruthless sin, and this personal hell was one he deserved to burn in. Bella should not have been subjected to it.

He couldn't fight her, though. Jasper stood up with her help, but he had to lean on her almost the entire way to the truck. He wasn't sure how she managed to support him, but adrenaline could do wondrous things to the human body, it seemed. Such thoughts weren't really able to process in his head, however, due to his grief. Somehow he ended up in the passenger side of her truck, and he curled up in a ball. He was barely able to move his lips against hers when she kissed him, only because they instinctively responded to hers from his love, deeply rooted within his heart. The entire ride to the Cullen house was a painful one. He was suffering, going through all the emotions of his victim as well as his own grief and remorse from having killed him. When they arrived, he couldn't even get out of the truck. He'd heard Bella speaking on her phone, but the words went in one ear and out the other. He couldn't look at Carlisle or Esme; he was too ashamed to face his parents after what he'd done. He'd put the entire family in jeopardy, and broken a treaty that was over half of a century old.

He curled up tighter in the truck while Bella and Carlisle spoke, until he heard his door being opened. Esme was right there, and she embraced her son. Jasper broke down again, having wanted her to shun him, yell at him, anything but bestow her love and kindness on him like that. It just made it worse, even though he wanted to cling to that comfort and compassion. Her arms were around him and Jasper realized that there truly was nothing like a mother's love. He could feel it coming from her, combating with the pain. Just like with Bella, he was able to move with her support. He made it out of the truck, and with her help they moved into Carlisle's car. Jasper cried against his mother, apologizing again and again between his sobs. It broke Esme's heart and she very nearly began to cry as well. But she held it together, and gently brushed his curls from his eyes. She cursed herself for not having anything to wipe the dried blood off his face, as any mother would wipe chocolate or dirt off their child. Once he was safely in the car, she moved back and with a heavy heart, she closed the door and returned to Carlisle's side. As the black car sped off, Esme turned into Carlisle and started to cry. The good doctor embraced his wife sadly, and had he been able to shed tears, he would have, too.

The entire ride out of Forks and beyond, Jasper was clearly in physical pain. His body was tense, every muscle flexed and rigid. He was trying to hold in it, to not alert her to how much he was hurting physically, but there were moments when he couldn't help but yelp, like a wounded animal. He did not dare reach for her, because he could feel her fear and nervousness from driving the car. Jasper also did not feel he deserved her comfort, even though he desperately needed it. He curled up tighter in the seat, trying to keep the pain in, squeezing his eyes shut and clutching at his bloodstained clothes.

"I-I'm.. I'm.. sorry.." he managed to gasp out, holding his head in his hands.

* * *

"Shh," she whispered, shaking her head. "No. Don't apologize," she assured him.

It was tough to decide what was best for Jasper. Bella could feel his pain, despite how hard he may have been trying to hide it. It was tangible in the car. She wrestled with the idea of pulling the car over. There were benefits and costs to going through with it and continuing on the road until they reached the cabin. If she stopped, it would be difficult to say where. She wasn't familiar with the roads and it wasn't as if the two of them could just pull into a hotel somewhere. There was a risk that Jasper would be seen and with his face and clothes covers in blood, it wasn't something that would bode well. She couldn't just pull over on the side of the highway either. That would have drawn even more attention to themselves. Fearing that she would get lost if she tried to go somewhere more discreet or remote, she ultimately decided that it wasn't the best idea. In that case, she pressed her foot a little harder to the gas to make the car go faster.

But she couldn't bear him to be hurting so much. Not only hurting, but not being comforted properly. She vowed she would make up for that as soon as they got to the cabin and she could take care of him safely, but for now, Bella was desperate for something she could do. Steadying her left hand on the wheel, she drove the car for a few miles with one hand to get a feel for it. When she was confident enough that she would be all right to do so, she let her right hand search out his again. Warm touched cold and she laced their fingers together, pressing her palm against his. It wasn't much, but it was something that she could do in order to let him know that she was with him, that he wasn't alone in all of this. It was the least she could do, though, she wished she could have done so much more.

It didn't seem like it was helping matters much in any case. When she looked over at him, her heart broke. He looked so small and uncharacteristically helpless. It wasn't the Jasper she was used to seeing, one who was so stoic and collected most of the time. He had a level head and was someone who people looked to in time of crisis. Bella usually did. But the roles were flipped now and all she could do was try to comfort him, try to help him through a tough time like he so often did for her. When she was more comfortable driving with one hand, she turned on the cruise control on the car, thankful that it wasn't too difficult to control. When she could relax her legs, she let go of his hand and rubbed his arm gently for a moment. Then, she pulled up the armrest between them.

"C'mere," she said softly. "Lay your head down," she said, patting her leg.

She knew it wouldn't be horribly comfortable for him to be leaning over, but if he did, Bella knew a better way of soothing him for the time being. She knew how much Jasper relaxed when she played with his hair and so that is exactly what she did. The curls were messy, but her fingers were gentle as they threaded through them. The pads of her fingers and her nails softly massaged his scalp in soothing circles. Occasionally, she would make a soft sound to let him know that she was still with him, or else a quiet whisper that they would be at the cabin soon, but mainly it was quiet.

* * *

Jasper had no idea where they were going. He wasn't coherent enough at the moment to really soak in their surroundings. For all he knew they were driving across the country. Of course, he also wasn't really even paying attention to the drive. He was focusing all his energy on not vocalizing how much he was hurting all over. He knew from the past that it always got much worse before it got better, and he also knew that the next several hours at least were going to be extremely painful and rough. Between the depression, self-loathing, physical and emotional pain he was going through now and would continue to do so for quite a long time, Bella was in for a long night, possibly the next few days.

He hated this part of his power. While there were times when being able to feel what others were feeling could be very useful and beneficial to him and the family, this aspect of his power was one that he truly could have lived without. It made him wish he had not been given such an extraordinary gift upon his transformation. Though, he supposed had he not been gifted with it, Maria would have no doubt killed him after he'd lost his newborn strength. In any case, he hated it, and hated himself for being so weak that he was having to endure it now, and everyone he cared about was hurt as a result.

This was not Jasper. He was strong, reserved, seemingly aloof in his mannerisms. For him to have a nervous break down was so uncharacteristic; he was the militaristic, stoic, pillar of strength. He was the one the others looked to in times of crisis; he was not the source of the panic, the fear. Yet, did it not make sense for him to be so emotional? He was an Empath; for him _to_ be stoic seemed wrong. For him to be able to feel so much and even manipulate the emotions of those around him, why shouldn't he be prone to getting emotional? Why didn't he break down more often? Because he couldn't. He'd defined himself to be that strong pillar, to be calm as much as he could and block out most of the emotions he felt from others. If he let himself be consumed by them, he'd go insane. But because he did block everything out so much, when he _did _break down, the pain was amplified and unbearable.

It was all he could do not to scream out. His heart felt like it was going to explode from all the hurtful emotions running through it. Every muscle in his body had locked up, and all of his limbs were tense. Jasper could feel Bella's soothing touch, and it helped, but there wasn't much anyone could do for him until this passed on its own. This mad had a lot of hate within him before he died. Hate was the most painful emotion to have to experience. Jasper let her lure him over to lay his head in her lap, though he felt guilty for doing so. He also feared he'd jerk involuntarily and cause her to lose control of the car, but he'd lock his limbs and make sure he did not do that. The idea of her running her hands through his hair was a comfort he simply could not refuse.

He laid his head in her lap slowly, though he was still curled up on the seat. The awkward positioning did not affect him. Jasper could be comfortable anywhere due to being a vampire. But, because of the extreme amount of pain he was in, there would be no difference in cramming himself in the front seat of the car and laying down, stretched out on a plush, soft bed. He closed his eyes as he felt her fingers start to run slowly through his honey blond curls, and the pads of her fingers massaging his tender scalp. He felt so vulnerable, and he hated that. He always wanted to be strong for Bella, to be her strength when she needed him. And yet, having her there to comfort him truly was the only thing keeping him quiet, keeping him still, keeping him from going mad. He needed her now more than he ever had before, but admitting that was something he was struggling with. Bella should not have this weight on her shoulders. She'd had to deal with enough because of him.

It seemed liked her soothing motions were helping somewhat. Or maybe that had just been wishful thinking on Bella's part. She could still feel so much pain coming from him, especially when she was physically touching him. She would have given anything to be able to take it all away. It would have been much better suited on herself. He didn't do anything wrong. She was sure of that. It was in his nature to kill and if that was what transpired, he couldn't blame himself. It was how he was designed. The Cullen family went against the grain in choosing not to feed on human blood, but that did not mean that they weren't still programmed to do just that. It was natural, and instinct. Instincts could not always be controlled, no matter how long a practice had been in place for years to contradict it. Because Jasper was raised as a vampire under direction of a heartless soul like Maria, he was never given another option of learning any other way of life. That made it a lot more difficult for him to adjust. Everyone knew and understood that. But they all also knew how much he hated that he struggled so much.

* * *

Bella's biggest fear was that his spirit would be broken as a result. She loved that spirit in him, his soul. She worried that he might not be able to recover from this judging by the emotions she felt coming through him now. But she refused to think negatively. She refused to give up before they tried to overcome this obstacle. They had overcome many thus far in their relationship and she hoped that this would follow that same pattern. She, for one, would vow to do everything she could have in order to get them back to where they needed to be, where Jasper felt like himself again, where he wasn't going to constantly degrade and belittle himself because of one mistake. That wouldn't be easy as Bella was coming to learn firsthand, but she would never give up.

It was a couple more hours until they reached their destination. Bella had to call Charlie during that timeframe to explain to him why he wouldn't find her at the house. She expected to get yelled out, that he demand she turn around right now from wherever she was and blame Jasper for the whole thing. But it didn't go that way. Obviously she didn't tell him the full truth, but Bella was still honest. She simply said that Jasper was having a tough time and needed to get away for a little while. She didn't know if it was because of the seriousness and the worry in her tone or because of the fact that her father came to respect the blond boy, but Charlie didn't press the issue. He was hesitant of course, but in the end he just asked that she call him frequently and keep him aware of when she planned on coming home and to be safe. Bella thanked him and genuinely was grateful for his understanding. It was one less thing to be concerned with, though in truth, it would have made no difference however Charlie responded to the news of them leaving together.

Carlisle had also called her while they were driving to ensure that the body had been taken care of and everything was covered up. He also told her that he himself had been keeping an eye on the line between the reservation and Forks and assured her that nothing seemed amiss and that the pack was at bay and seemingly unaware of any danger that had occurred. That filled her with relief and she reported the news back to Jasper. She hoped it would be a small comfort to him to at least know he was in no danger of anyone else ever finding out. But Bella knew it would take a lot more than that news to reverse the hurt and shame he felt, that she could feel so strongly radiating off of him.

It was amazing that she remembered the way to the cabin. The exit was clear, but she worried she wouldn't know the way from there. But effortlessly, she navigated the route as if the car knew where it was going on its own. She attributed to luck, but wondered if fate was trying to help them. It would take a lot of help for certain and she would accept any she could get. She leaned down to kiss his temple before letting him sit up. Collecting their bags, she slung them over her shoulder and then helped Jasper out of the car. She supported him as they moved inside and helped him to get up the stairs, pausing so they could get their shoes off at the bottom. She led him into the bathroom then and let go only to turn on the shower and test the water temperature. When it was warm enough, she didn't bother with either of their clothes before pulling him inside.

When he was under the steady stream of warm water, she reached up to gently wash the dried blood from his face. As the red trailed down his skin and pooled at the bottom of the shower near the drain as it washed from his clothing as well, she started to undress him. She removed his shirt and left it lay near their feet. Her fingers softly ran over his chest, following the warm water until she reached his pants. When the rest of his clothes were off, she quietly removed her own. Her hands moved to his face and his neck again, cleansing the skin of dirt until it was pale and flawless as usual. After that, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his naked body, pressing herself to him as she pulled him into an embrace.

She didn't care how long they would stay like that, but she was willing to never move. Not until he could release some of the pain he was feeling.

* * *

For the duration of the rest of the ride, Jasper laid with his head in Bella's lap. He did not speak again and tried his best not to make any sound at all. He knew Bella was worried about him and no doubt she was feeling most of the pain and despair that was plaguing his very existence. He didn't want to make it worse for her than it already was. He also found that if he laid perfectly still, the physical pain wasn't quite so unbearable. He just tried to focus on her fingers running through his hair and the patterns she was tracing on his scalp.

It was true, what Jasper had done was not actually an abnormal thing in his world. What the Cullens did was the abnormality. Vampires fed on human blood; that was how it had been since the creation of their kind. Even the legends about vampires always spoke of them hunting humans and claiming them as their prey. There were none, as far as he knew, that consisted of vampires drinking the blood of animals. Unless, of course, one listened to the Quileute legends. Carlisle's methods were unorthodox; they went against the very nature of their species. Jasper, of course, had been raised to feed on humans. More than that, he was raised to kill them brutally. When he was with Maria, he was not often plagued by the pain, because he had no moral conscience to speak of. He was so consumed with rage and hate that _feeling _that from his victims was nothing to him. It was not until decades later when he began to grow tired of Maria's ways that he actually started to feel remorse. From there, the pain was soon to follow. It had been that way ever since.

After leaving Maria, Jasper would starve himself for as long as he could before having to feed. It was torturous because his need for blood was so very strong, but he hated to have to feed because it just caused him more grief and pain. There was no winning in the situation; either way he was in pain. When he began using Carlisle's method, he realized this was a way for him to ease his thirst, but he still wasn't ever satisfied after the hunt. Jasper had fallen a few times here and there, and had even isolated himself and only recently began attending school. It wasn't easy for him to adapt, and clearly he still hadn't conquered his natural instinct to crave human blood. That had been evident in his attacks on Bella, and of course killing that man. No matter how hard he tried, Jasper had come to accept he would always be the weakest in his family.

He leaned on Bella as she guided him out of the car and helped him into the cabin. The cabin. It was a place that held so many memories for them. It was unfortunate that Jasper couldn't rejoice in them upon entering. But still, all he could do was lean on her and try to keep his feet moving so he could walk. She led him to the bathroom and after running the shower, they both stepped in. He felt the water immediately pouring down on him, washing away the crimson blood that had stained his otherwise pristine face and his clothing. Before he knew it, she was undressing both him and herself, and Jasper did nothing to stop that. When her arms slid around his neck and she pressed up against him, Jasper instinctively held onto her. He did not clutch her too tightly, but he did have a bit of a grip on her. He hid his face in her hair and neck, and started to cry again.

* * *

There was a flicker of fear in Bella when he started to cry again. She thought that the hot water of the shower and the erasing of the dirt and blood from his body would help to ease his pain, even just a little bit. But when he held onto her and buried his face in her hair, she worried that she was wrong.

That fear only lasted a few moments until she came to the conclusion that it was likely for things to get worse before they got better. He needed to grieve about what he did and unleash the emotions that he'd been holding in so tightly when they were driving. Here, they were safe. This was a little haven for the two of them and it was true that the cabin held such beautiful memories. It was a good place for Jasper to relax enough to be able to express what he was feeling freely and openly. There was no longer a need to hide. They were hundreds of miles away from home and the place where the incident had taken place. They first part to helping Jasper cope had been to get him to this safety and ensure that such was far, far away.

Now that she had, it was time to focus on letting him simply _feel_. He had to feel all the negative emotions before positive ones could be able to replace them. She would be there as he experienced both. It gave her hope, though, when he held onto her. He wasn't pushing her away. He wasn't claiming that he needed to be alone or handle this by himself. He was allowing her to take care of him and to Bella, that meant a lot. It showed how much he trusted her, especially when he was feeling at his weakest. He'd come to her house before any other after the incident in the woods. That spoke volumes about how much they depended on one another at that point in their relationship.

When he broke down, Bella only held him tighter. One of her arms wrapped securely around his lower back and the other gently trailed up and down the length of his spine in a gentle, soothing pattern, tracing the water as it followed the same line. She hoped the temperature of the water would help to relax his muscles at lease. Even though his skin felt like sheet glass as it normally did, she could tell that his body was tense. She still didn't speak, but there was still no need. He knew she was there for him. Bella didn't have to use words just then. Neither did he. For now, she continued to rub his back and kiss the side of his head.

* * *

Jasper had never forgotten the devastating effects that would take their toll on his body after he fed on a human. He'd slipped with Bella a few times, but by some miracle he'd managed to be caught before he truly fell. This was not by his own doing. The first time, his family had been the ones to pick him up and pull him back. The second time, it was Jacob Black who shoved him back onto his feet before his family reined him in again. But this time, there had been no one there to catch him as he slipped, and he fell. He fell hard. It was proof to him that he wasn't as strong as he thought he'd become. He was unable to catch himself; he still needed to depend on others to do it, and that crushed his spirit. Not even the memory and knowledge of what it did to him after he fed could prevent him from submitting to his lust for blood. He felt so weak, so worthless.

A lot of his depression came from the effects of his kill. He didn't truly hate himself nearly as much as he had when he'd lunged at Bella the last time. While he was ashamed and down on himself for committing the sin of murder, he still did not hold that in the same regard as attacking someone he loved. He was regaining a bit more of his rational thought now, rather than just extreme physical and emotional pain. That was starting to subside, allowing him some sort of coherency. He knew where he was, now. It registered in his mind that they'd gotten out of Forks. The shame was starting to become more prominent, rather than just despair. He felt so horrible for what he'd done, all the grief he'd caused his family and Bella.

One thing he didn't know, was how much time had passed. Having only a vague concept of time anyway, in his state of mind he really didn't know how long it had been since they left Forks, or even how long they'd been in the shower. All the blood had been washed away from his skin and no longer matted the front portion of his curls. There was no sign of it pooling around the drain. Everything looked pristine again. Jasper only wished the pain and shame could be washed away so easily. He didn't deserve this. His family should have left the body, left him to the wolves. Bella should not have been forced to take him away, to have to spend her time trying to comfort him and make him feel better. Why should anyone help a murderer like him? He wasn't worth it. A hopeless case like him, truly was not worth all of this effort.

The tension in his muscles did begin to subside after she began to caress his back. Her presence was a comfort to him, truly, though he was still feeling very unworthy of it. The only reason he did not protest was because he was too weak, and he _needed _her. Jasper removed his hands from her back and slid them up to cup her cheeks. He looked into her eyes, his expression a mix of emotions. There was sorrow, need, shame, sadness, remorse, but also gratitude. His thumb brushed her cheek and he brought his forehead to hers.

"Can we lay down?" He asked. His voice was strained, and the pain was still quite evident. But it would also be evident that his affliction was starting to subside.

* * *

It was something that both of them both thought about often: the pros and cons of Jasper's ability. It would seem like most of the actions that had transpired that day had played into the negative side of things. He was feeling so much of that devastation and exuding it to others, that it was difficult to concentrate on any other emotion. That was the worst part of his gift – if he was suffering, he couldn't even conceal it or keep it to himself. That was something that Bella knew Jasper didn't like. He was more of a private person when it came to his emotions. Of course he shared them with her and often spoke aloud how he felt when it was just the two of them. But there was no hiding it when he was feeling anything less than happy.

But at the same time, he could feel the emotions of others. Yes, if the emotions in question were negative as the man's had been before Jasper killed him, then it wouldn't bode well for the Empath. But now, when he was far away from that scene and it was only the two of them, it was a good thing that he could feel Bella's emotion. There would be no question of how she felt.

She was worried yes, and that worry would be present. But that was the smallest one. Fear no longer existed because what she had feared what that the incident wouldn't have been covered up. When Carlisle had called to assure her it had been, fear was crushed with the flip of her cell phone. There was a very small bit of sadness within the mixture. It was very difficult to see the person she loved more than anyone in the world going through something so difficult. The fact that she hadn't been there, to catch him before he fell, made her sad.

The strongest, though, was love. It overpowered everything else, casting shadows on lesser emotions. She didn't have to try to feel it or make attempts to make it most prominent; it simply was. She cared so much about him that to her, he was the most important thing in her life. He was the most important person. When something happened to him, Bella wanted to be the one to take care of him. The love that she encompassed would be unmistakable while doing so. It was impossible to feel anything else enough to overpower it.

As they stood together under the water, she concentrated that feeling onto him. He needed to know how nothing had changed as far as how she felt about him. He might have thought that he was a monster, that he didn't deserve her help or anyone else's, but that wasn't true and Bella would spend the rest of her life trying to convince him of that. If that was how long it would take, then she was all too happy to keep trying for that duration.

She was glad that Jasper seemed to relax somewhat. She could still feel the hurt and the shame coming from him, but she could tell that some improvement had been made. That was what she'd hoped with the shower. If he couldn't see reminders of what happened, it would be easier for him to get past it. When he held her face in his hands and met her eyes, it was certain that he was making progress, however little. He'd done that of his own accord and when he asked if they could lay down, Bella nodded. She reached out to turn the water off and then reached to kiss him once more briefly on his neck.

Her fingers found his and she led him out of the shower. The steam from the heat of it had covered the mirrors to mask either of their reflections. For now, that was probably better. His eyes weren't something that could just be washed away with the shower water. She reached for one of the big fluffy towels that were folded in the cabinet and started to dry him off. She had to reach on her toes to dry his hair, but she managed. She still just wanted to take care of him. When the towel was around his waist, she reached for another to dry herself off, tucking it under her arms when she was finished. Moving to the bedroom, she paused to decide whether or not she should get the two of them dressed. But she decided against it. His request had been for the two of them to lay down and that was what Bella wanted to fulfill.

She waited until he was situated before she curled up beside him, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders in addition to the towel so that she could stay close. Draping an arm across his torso, she laid her head down on his chest, keeping him close to her.

"I love this bed," she said softly as she recalled the memories they had here.

* * *

Jasper discovered that walking was a little bit easier by now. His limbs did not feel as weighed down as they initially had when he was so crippled by his pain. He was able to step out of the shower with her help, but did not have to lean on her quite as much in order to stay up on his feet and walk. The bathroom was filled with steam, which had fogged up the mirror over the sink. Even though it was covered, he still would not have looked into it out of habit. Jasper did not care for mirrors anyway; they allowed him to see himself for what he believed he was. It would've been more devastating for him to see himself now, though, with his eyes as red as they were. That would've been a very vivid reminder of how he used to live his life, and he did not want to see that ever again.

With her assistance, Jasper was dried off. He let her secure a towel around his waist. He felt her fingers lace through his and he followed her slowly, carefully so as not to lose his footing, out of the bathroom. It opened up right into the master bedroom, so they didn't have to walk far in order to reach the bed that they would be lying in soon enough. With her guidance, he crossed the room to the bed and eased in with her. He made sure that he tucked enough of the blankets between them so that she wouldn't get too cold. He wouldn't ask her to lay with him too long, especially while they were unclothed and still a bit wet from the shower. It would be too cold for her and he didn't want her to be sick.

When she was laying against him, he closed his eyes and tried to let go of everything that was still weighing him down. Jasper knew from experience and now that he was coherent enough to think that the worst part of this was over. It was just a matter of waiting for the rest of his depression and emotional anguish to pass. What Bella was doing by showing him so much of the love she held for him was making it pass much faster. The best way to combat an emotion like hatred was with love. There was no stronger emotion than the latter, and it could always prevail over everything else. Jasper took in that love, even though he still did not feel worthy of it. He took it in and let it settle within his heart.

Bella's words almost brought a smile to his face. He was still hurting too much for it to be visually expressive, but a hint of the happiness that smile would have shown would be able to be felt. He loved this bed, too. It held so many memories for them, passionate, intimate, happiness, and so many others. This was where they'd first been together as lovers, where they'd given each other all of themselves. He would always cherish this bed, this cabin as a whole. This had been their hideaway from the world, their first sanctuary. They'd gotten so much closer here. Jasper felt like he'd fallen in love with her all over again within these walls, within this bed.

"I love you," he responded, turning his head to rest his lips against the top of her hair. He breathed in her scent, again and again, comforted by it. He closed his eyes again and laid still.

* * *

Jasper telling her he loved her was always something that made Bella's heart feel as if it were swelling with warmth. When he said it now, it did that very same thing, but it felt different somehow. Even though it was one of the most difficult things for Jasper to endure, Bella felt closer to him in a way. He was letting her in during all of it. He was allowing her to take care of him and be right there with him, together, instead of running off by himself for awhile and leaving everyone to wonder while he dealt with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was letting her witness his vulnerability and his weaknesses and that, for anyone, was a difficult thing to endure. But even in his tough time, he still told her he loved her. That touched the very _center _of her heart.

She was glad it was her. She was so glad to be the one to be able to care for him. She imagined that it wasn't something he was that used to. At least in comparison to how it was when he would kill humans on a regular basis when he was with Maria. She didn't comfort him when he made a kill; she praised him. And when he started to feel their emotions, when they started to affect him in a detrimental way, she shunned him for it. She made him feel worthless for experiencing something other than hatred or malice. He wasn't controlled by power; he was controlled by heart. And instead of strengthening his, she ripped it out of his chest with her lack of caring. She led him on and ultimately broke his spirit in the process. Bella could understand why it was so difficult for him to have a slip up. She imagined it might not have had the same effect if his past wasn't so dark.

"I love you too," she said, placing a few soft kisses to his jawline before resting her head back down again. She ran her fingers up and down the length of his arm in a steady pattern until it slowed to a stop. Bella's breathing had slowed in addition and she could tell she was going to lose the fight against sleep. She wanted to badly to spend all night awake with him, fearing that he would feel as if he were alone if she slept while he couldn't. More than anything, she wished that _he _would have been able to sleep too. It would have given his mind and body a rest, at least more than would occur with him staying awake. She worried that the time would just cause his thoughts to race, to drift back to what happened to cause them to flee from their town. That was why she wanted to stay awake – so she could do everything she could to keep her mind off of things.

But it was a losing battle and sleep overtook her. She was still worried about him, but that didn't mean that she was anything less than comfortable. That alone made it very hard to stay awake.

* * *

When she woke up, she quickly realized she hadn't moved much. There seemed to be more blankets around her, but other than that, she still had her arms around him and her head was still resting on his shoulder. Blinking her eyes, she adjusted the sleep from them and shifted silently.

"I don't remember even falling asleep," she admitted, feeling guilty for drifting off when her intent had been otherwise. Her hand moved over his chest, resting on the cool skin where his heart lay still beneath. Her brow furrowed slightly and she appeared to be concentrating. Really she was trying to see if she could assess the nature of his heart just by keeping her hand pressed gently atop of it.

"How do you feel?"

* * *

Bella was most certainly seeing him at his most vulnerable state. Jasper wasn't exactly happy about that, but at the same time, he trusted her completely. If she couldn't see him at his most vulnerable, then no one could. It was so hard for him to let anyone in, especially this close, but keeping Bella out wasn't an option. Even if he'd been able to hide his pain, he couldn't have done it in front of her. Jasper never, ever wanted to keep anything from her, emotions or otherwise. That didn't make it pleasant for him to have to show her this side of himself, but it wasn't something he could hide.

He could feel her growing sleepy, but he did not mind. In truth, Jasper actually really enjoyed it when she slept. It wasn't that he didn't love it when she was awake; of course he preferred it that way. It was just that when she slept, that was when she was at _her _most vulnerable. The fact that she could relax enough around him to fall asleep was something that meant a lot to Jasper. He could watch her while she slept, and try to imagine what she was dreaming about. Sometimes he wished he could sleep too, so that maybe they could dream about the same things. But for the most part, he was glad that he didn't sleep because he didn't want to miss a moment of observing her.

As she slept, Jasper did his best to overcome the rest of his emotional plight. It was admittedly more difficult with her asleep, but there was no absence of love coming from her anyway. He could still feel it, and it was all that was holding him together. It was what gave him the strength to keep trying to overcome this. It was why he had the will to go on. Jasper let her love for him fill his heart and could feel it slowly spreading through his body as a whole. It was beginning to push out all the hate, pain, and anguish that was still lurking within him and in his limbs.

Jasper felt her stir awake and he too, opened his eyes. He watched as she shifted from slumber to consciousness, and he could feel her love growing stronger as she was able to be aware of herself and her surroundings again. It filled him with even more strength to push through the pain. It was amazing how much better he felt just from laying there with her for so long. He still was having a difficult time meeting her eyes. He'd managed to do it once while in the shower, but not again since then. Even now, when he was feeling so much better, he still couldn't do it. He closed his eyes partially, looking down at where her hand was resting on his heart rather than up into her eyes. He felt a strong surge of her love filling his heart, and wondered if it was because of her hand placement.

"It doesn't hurt as much anymore," he said quietly. "All because of you. You saved me. You guided me back, to our life together."

* * *

Bella wondered what it would have been like to be unable to sleep when dealing with so many emotions all at once. She sometimes couldn't fall asleep when such a thing happened to her, but more often than not, all of those aforementioned emotions exhausted her and she fell in a nightmare-filled slumber. That was the worst case scenario. Otherwise, she would lie awake for hours just going over the thoughts in her head. She wondered if that had been what Jasper resorted to while she slept and she feared that it could have been dangerous considering the event that his mind would be revolving around.

But when he spoke, she felt her heart warm just a little more and a relieved smile touched her face, though it would still be partially concealed with the way she rested her head against his shoulder. His words touched and comforted her when she should have been the one offering him such sentiments. But it seemed that she had or else it wouldn't have had the same effect as Jasper spoke of. If she could guide him back to himself and to the two of them together, then Bella was happy. If she could play even the smallest part in his happiness, then she, in turn, was thrilled with that realization.

The fact that she had been successfully able to not only bring him out of the depression he was in, but that she was able to _protect _him was something that meant so much to Bella. She would literally give her life for Jasper for how much she loved him. To her, he came before even her own health and safety. That much was obvious when one considered that it was still essentially dangerous to be around someone who desired human blood so much and who was but a second away from draining all of hers fairly recently. But that didn't matter to Bella. All that mattered was that she was able to help him. For everything that he and the Cullens had done for her – risking their own lives in order to fight to protect hers with the newborns, standing up to Aro when he'd come, getting along with the wolves in order to keep an agreement with them - it had all been for her benefit and had been dangerous things that could have resulted in their deaths. And yet, they'd fought for her willingly.

Now, she had been able to do that for them. She wasn't fighting and putting her own life in danger per se, but by taking Jasper away and by her quick thinking and actions, she helped to keep the Cullens safe and able to stay in their home. For that, she felt very accomplished.

"You were never lost," she said thoughtfully, lifting her head to press her lips to his chest where her hand had been. "You just took a little detour." She kissed his chest against, moving her lips upward until she reached his.

* * *

It would've probably been no surprise to anyone to know that often times when left to his own thoughts of himself, Jasper typically went into a bit of a depression. The fact remained that he really did not think too highly of himself normally. Even on an uneventful day, if left to reflect on his own, it was usually very negative. There was always something he better about himself.

In this situation, if he'd been alone, the results would have been even more devastating. There would have been nothing for him to come back to, and therefore, no reason to come back at all. He would have lost himself completely in his despair, and let the darkness consume him. What else was there to live for? But Jasper had Bella. He loved her, and that was reason enough for him to hold onto this life and not give in to the hate and darkness. It was her love for him that was able to penetrate through all his pain and give him some relief, a reason to keep going. Instead of focusing on how much he disliked himself, he thought about how much he loved Bella, and let the love she felt consume him instead. That was how he managed to stay calm while she slept.

"I love you," he said softly, just as her lips met his own.

He didn't deserve her, or her affection. And to him, she most definitely deserved someone better than him. But for whatever reason, she loved him. He knew it was true because he could feel it always coming from the very core of her heart. She shouldn't have been exposed to this, she shouldn't have to take care of someone like him. Yet she had not let go of him or shunned him. She was doing everything she could to help him through this excruciating time.

Jasper kissed her tenderly, but deeply. He lightly stroked her cheek, then cupped it and kissed her again. He felt very loved, which overpowered all the hate. "You were right here to get me back on the right path," he said. "Thank you, Belle."

He kissed her again, and again, then pulled her closer to him and tightening his arms around her a little. He had no intention of getting up anytime soon. All he wanted was to savor this time with Bella, and to recover as quietly as he could.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Once again, our apologies for the delay in posting! Your authors have been very visit and (boo!) are now sick so we've been doing our best to edit and get everything posted quicker! The next chapter is a very important one and we hope you love it as much as we do! ;) Please review! It is always the best encouragement and we love hearing from each and every one of you. Welcome to our new followers! Cheers!

**Lyrics:** Broken - Seether and Amy Lee


	7. Chapter 7

_Together in all these memories,_  
_I see your smile._  
_All of the memories I hold dear._  
_Darling you know I'll love you,_  
_Til the end of time ;;_

Jasper's slip had caused him to fall into a pit of despair. He hadn't been entirely sure he could recover from it, even though this wasn't the first time it had happened to him. With Bella there, though, he'd been able to climb out. It took some time, and there were a few stumbles along the way, but with the love that they shared to guide him, he'd managed to regain his footing and stand tall again.

He would never forget that. She'd been so good to him. The way she'd taken control of the situation even though she probably had no idea how to handle him during such an ordeal, the way she never wavered, never showed any signs of defeat, and loved him undeniably, all meant the world to Jasper. She'd genuinely wanted to help him, and she had helped more than she probably realized. With her constant care and presence close by, Jasper was able to recover much faster. Without her there, it would have taken considerably longer for him to find himself again. They'd stayed at the cabin an extra few days, just to make sure Jasper was feeling well enough to return to their real lives and that he was ready to face his family again after slipping. Through phone calls, it was made clear that none of the Cullens were angry with Jasper. They were all concerned for his well-being, and very happy to know that he was okay.

The time he spent with Bella after his recovery was very peaceful. They laid together for long periods of time, just resting and remaining close. It was through this time that he silently made a very important decision that would affect the rest of their lives together. In the days that followed, he had to be very strategic in how he spent his time with her, and even moreso in when he was away from her. He never liked parting from her, especially now. There was always the need to hunt, though, and he had told her that the family was all going in sort of family bonding venture. After his slip, he felt it was important to mend any fences that might have broken amongst himself and his family. This was not a lie by any means. Jasper did in fact leave town with his family to hunt. It was a two day stint up in Canada, and while there he shared with them his intentions for when they returned. Only Rosalie seemed uninterested. Everyone else was very supportive. The only part of his trip that Jasper did not tell Bella about, was that he and Carlisle took a detour on the way home. They stopped in Seattle where they spent the majority of an entire afternoon shopping for a particular item. Despite that, they still returned at the designated time he told Bella he would be back.

Before he could give Bella the gift he'd purchased, he needed to speak to her father. This did not prove difficult at all. There were many times when Charlie himself invited Jasper over to watch baseball games or even just talk sports with him. He was happy to do it, because he knew that having a strong relationship with Charlie made things much easier on Bella. He wanted very much for Bella to maintain the happy relationship she had with her father. Ever since the trip to the Mariners game, things seemed much more casual and there was no tension whatsoever. Jasper had a feeling that the conversation he needed to have with Charlie was going to cause some tension, but he'd managed to get through it relatively unharmed. It had been tense at first, but by the end things had turned out in Jasper's favor. He'd tell Bella all about that at another time as well. He needed to give her the gift, first.

There were only two concerns he had left. When to give it to her and what her response would be. It was hard to know. This wasn't something they'd ever talked about before and he really wasn't even one to think about the subject. It wasn't something his kind naturally did. This was very much a humanistic ritual. That didn't mean it couldn't happen, as it had before. And though he did not normally think about it, he was actually very happy with the thought. Jasper did not plan an elaborate scene for presenting this to her. When the time was right, it would happen.

Of course, that meant that he took the item that was meant for her with him everywhere they went together. Several weeks had passed since the trip, since he spoke to Charlie about it. There were moments when he almost gave it to her, but he'd hesitate and then he knew it wasn't the right time. Just like with their initial love confession, it had to happen naturally. He knew the time would come, and he'd be ready when it did.

That evening, they had decided to go out on a date. Nothing extravagant of course. They were just going out. They went to a movie; a recent horror movie release about vampires. It was fun to make fun of it together, laughing when everyone else was jumping with fright. Of course they knew better. Vampires didn't _actually _do half the things in those movies. Afterwards, they'd driven out to the fairgrounds. It wasn't nearly time for her curfew yet. The destination, of course, was the carousel. They sat down and after talking for a while, they'd eventually settled into a comfortable calm, with her back leaning against his front. Jasper lightly placed a kiss on her shoulder and held her close as he spoke.

"That was an awful movie," he said, grinning against her neck.

* * *

Bella would never claim that anything had been 'good' about what happened concerning Jasper's slip. But in a way, there was a silver lining. It brought the two of them closer in a way. They were not strangers to helping one another cope with some sort of tragedy this time. Without Jasper, Bella never would have gotten over what happened in Italy and been able to move on with her life. She knew he felt the same when it came to her. They'd helped one another through heartache and found love in the process. But this case was different considering when it happened, they were already together and it was a new way of dealing with things. Jasper was the one who was hit the hardest with what had happened and Bella needed to be strong not only for him, but for the both of them as well. It renewed the way she felt about him, reminded her of how much he was worth it. If he was hurting, so was Bella. There was no getting around that.

If he would have asked if they could stay at that cabin for the rest of their lives, Bella would have agreed to it. Whatever he needed, she was willing to give him. Whatever he needed her to do for him, she wouldn't have hesitated. Their time there was meant for healing, however, and she knew that it would be good for Jasper to be reunited with his family. It proved to be a true theory. She could feel how worried he'd been to face them, despite having been assured that they all stood before him and supported him no matter what. It was also a relief that things with the wolves remained quiet. There was nothing out of the ordinary with the pack, no reason to believe that they had been suspicious of the rouge drug dealer who went missing. It was easier to believe a story about a man who lived a poor way of life and who would have had no means of changing his dangerous habits should he have continued on that day in the woods instead of running into Jasper so unexpectedly.

Peaceful was indeed the best word to describe how things had been in the weeks that followed their return home from the Oregon coast. Bella, of course, was always happy to spend time with Jasper and every second with him was something she tucked away in her memory. That made it easier for the times when they were apart, whether he was hunting or spending time at home with his family. Another nice development had been the relationship that her father had with her boyfriend. Ever since the baseball game, Charlie looked at Jasper in a wholly different light. It was a far more positive one that it had ever been before, even before Bella and Jasper started dating. Sometimes she was forced to roll her eyes when it seemed like hours went by and Charlie was still firing off questions about different players and games that had been in the news and those that had been throughout history. During these times, Bella would wait patiently, silent and just nodding her head if one of them directed something at her. Of course she didn't care or know a thing about sports, but despite that, she wouldn't have dared to interrupt or cut off their time considering how happy it made her that the two most important men in her life were getting along famously.

But at the same time, Bella was always eager to have Jasper to herself. It was exciting for her when they could escape away and be themselves for awhile. The night they'd gone out for a movie had been no different. There was no question about what they would see when there was a poster for a vampire movie that had just come out. The theater had been packed nearly full to the brim, but she was sure the two of them were the only ones who knew just how fake the movie was.

Not just for the fake, unnecessary amount of blood and gore either.

When he brought it up again when the two of them were back at their carousel, she laughed aloud. "Really? I think it has a pretty good chance of winning an Oscar this year," she joked. She giggled softly again.

"I don't know what was the worst part. The girl who was sitting two seats down from you spilling her soda all over the guys she was with when she screamed, or, the part of the movie where the suspiciously top-heavy "heroine"," she said, using finger air quotes to emphasis her sarcasm, "hid _in_ the coffin with the stake and thought she stood a chance."

* * *

Jasper had never felt closer to Bella than he did now, in these recent weeks. That was truly a testament, because he'd felt incredibly close to her before they went to the cabin for the second time. Their relationship had reached an entirely new dynamic. He'd never really had to lean on Bella before. He'd confided in her, and she'd seen him break down a time or two throughout their relationship, but it had never been anything like it was a few weeks ago. He'd never had to _depend_ on her just to function. Bella had seen him at his absolutely lowest, and she had not run from him. She'd embraced him, supported him, loved him, done everything she could to help pick him up and support him so he would stay standing. He would _always _be grateful to her for that. Jasper knew he could depend on her for anything, even though he did not want to subject her to anything like that ever again. But Bella could handle it, and that was what mattered.

He was content to keep his face buried in the crook of her neck. He stayed that way for a long time, moving only when he wanted to give her neck and jawline a few kisses at a time. It was probably a surprise to anyone who knew him that Jasper was so affectionate, but with Bella, he wanted always to personify his love for her through his actions. He wanted her to always feel cherished, always feel loved. It was also because he was just very passionate by nature; no one really knew that except for a very, very select few.

"I think the actor playing the lead vampire, Shantar, has a good shot at an Oscar himself. With that Transylvanian accent that would magically vanish in certain scenes. He really went for it," Jasper said, trying to keep a straight face.

Of course, it only lasted about fifteen seconds after he spoke. He started to laugh then, his amusement very apparent. She would be able to feel it coming from him, and truly that spoke volumes. He'd been _so_ depressed. Even after they came back, he had not been quick to laugh, grin, or show signs of happiness. He was always happy with her, of course. Bella was his solace from his sad fate. But his demeanor was not what it had been before his slip. Until now. He was _happy_. And it was all because of Bella and the love he had for her.

Jasper felt something cause his heart to swell. He needed her. He loved her. He was always going to love her. His laughter had died down, but he was still smiling against her neck. He placed another kiss there and closed his eyes. His heart, he could've sworn, had taken a beat. He felt whole again. There would always be remorse for what he'd done, no matter how vicious that man had been, but Jasper could move on from it now. There was so much more to live for, most of which was embodied by the young woman he was holding in his arms.

"Belle.." he murmured her name, his voice sweet as honey, dripping off his lips as he regarded her so tenderly.

* * *

It felt so good to laugh with him. That was one of the things she loved most about her relationship with Jasper. They had times when they could be serious with one another, times when they could be poised and composed, especially in the presence of others. But then there were times when it was just the two of them and they could freely let loose with one another. It was rarer that they did so with other people around because for them, the privacy made everything more intimate no matter what the occasion or emotion they were sharing. Tonight had been a time when they were able to do both. Neither of them had been able to contain themselves during the film and now when they were still talking about it later, it was all laughter.

Rather it had been. When they both quieted for a moment, there was a comfortable silence. She could feel his smile though she couldn't see it against her neck. That, too, made her smile herself. He was so affectionate towards her and if his goal had been to ensure that she always felt loved and wanted, Jasper never failed her there. With him, Bella felt more like herself than perhaps she ever had before. Things were so much less cautious with Jasper, even though their situation screamed that they needed to exercise that very element at all times. She could just _be_ with him. Effortlessly. He never made her feel as if she were inadequate, something that she frequently feared considering how different the two of them were. His kind was so beautiful, graceful in their nature. She was the opposite of anything that could be called elegant. And yet he made her feel as if she were someone different. More fittingly, _not_ someone different – just a better version of herself.

The _best _version of herself.

When he spoke again, his voice made a shiver run down her spine. She'd heard him use that tone before. Of course, he was always charismatic and he could turn on the charm in the blink of the eye. She would laugh when he used his voice to temporarily send another person in a daze. He did it when they were out together sometimes to make her laugh. He'd done it tonight, for example, with the girl who'd taken their tickets at the movie theater. 'Thank you, ma'am,' he'd said, and the poor girl couldn't even speak. But the tone that he used with Bella was always different. It still had the same effect, but it was special, more intimate.

The way he said her name now reminded her of one of her favorite memories of the two of them together. It had been nighttime, once when she was curled up against him in the seat at her window. It was the night she had the dream about the daffodils. It was the night he kissed her for the first time. He'd said her name in such a soft tone that she almost missed it, and would have had she not been paying such close attention to him. It sounded like melted chocolate, something sweet, something she craved. Jasper might have considered his heart having a beat, but Bella was sure of her own. It skipped one when her name left his lips like that. Perhaps it stunned her more, had a greater effect on account of the fact that they had just been laughing together a few moments before.

"Hmm?" she sounded just as softly, still against his chest save for the way she turned her face slightly to the side in his direction.

* * *

A perfect moment was not one that was planned out to the last detail. Moments like that, while still very beautiful, were at least somewhat forced in that they had been structured, tailored to _be _perfect. That in of itself was an imperfection. Jasper could not recall any moments he had shared with Bella that were like that. They usually had an initial plan, but none of the details were finely tuned. And if they were, what came of them was always natural. The plans they made did not dictate the emotions that came from them. A true perfect moment happened when one least expected it. When Bella had first told Jasper that she loved him, that was perfect. No planned event could have been as incredible as that. Their first kiss was another moment like that. They'd shared many since, and there was a very distinct feeling, an emotion that Jasper had come to learn very well that he got every time a moment like that took place.

Like now.

In his heart, he'd never felt more alive. The smile on his face would not go away and he was not trying to conceal it. To most that he encountered, Jasper appeared stoic and unfeeling, but this could not be further from the truth. He felt everything. That was _why_ he appeared the way he did. If he let all the emotions he felt all at once read on his face, he'd become overwhelmed.

Right now, it was just the two of them. All he felt was happiness and the love between them. She was happy, completely at peace, and so was he. They were not worrying about anything; this was their world, and no one else seemed to exist. Jasper lifted his head from the crook of her neck just enough to meet her lips with his own. He kissed her tenderly, very sweetly. When he pulled back, it was to line her jaw with a trail of more soft kisses. His lips lingered at where her jaw met her neck, and he slid one of his hands down her arm, taking her hand in his while his other arm remained around her waist.

"Marry me," he whispered in her ear, so quietly that had his lips not been against her ear, she surely would not have even heard him.

* * *

Bella was a fan of imperfect, perfect moments. They had a lot of them, never when they were planning for it. That was what made them so much more special. It was easy to be romantic. Anyone could be romantic. Flowers and sonnets and champagne, and anybody could fool others into thinking they were sweet and sentimental. While _being_ romantic was easy, _romance _was not so much. That couldn't be learned or taught. It was something that only could happen between the two involved. It required no thought or effort – just togetherness. That was what romance was to Bella. She thought any other idea of it sounded cheesy or cliché. What she and Jasper had was neither of those things. What they had didn't belong in a story or a movie that wouldn't do it justice. It belonged here, between the two of them. Nowhere else.

And here, between the two of them, nothing was ever planned out. It was always a surprise with Jasper, whether or not either of them intended for it to be that way. Now was the biggest surprise of Bella's life, one that she didn't see coming at _all_. She figured he wasn't really going to say anything, that he was just saying her name and simply wanted to kiss her. She happily returned the gesture and kept her eyes closed when he started kissing her neck. He knew that was such a sensitive spot for her and she made a soft sound as she tilted her head just slightly to the side to expose the skin to his cool lips. But it was Jasper's words against her ear that caused her to freeze.

Surely, the wind had just blown abnormally and whistled something that sounded like words. He didn't say anything. He didn't just…

No. Bella was imagining things and _why_ she imagined him saying _that_ was an absolute mystery. But his breath was chilled against her ear enough to make it hard to believe that she was only imagining things.

One thing was for sure. Either way, her heart had stopped beating entirely. "What?" she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him, her chocolate eyes making no mistake of both her shock and confusion.

She laughed then, under her breath. He was still joking with her. She didn't understand another reason for this. Jasper couldn't have _seriously _just…

No.

* * *

While Jasper was very much in tune with his own emotions and an expert at reading those around him, knowing when to block out some and let others in, there were moments when his own got the better of him. It did not happen often, and when it did, he was still usually able to rein them back in before anyone noticed. Sometimes, though, he didn't. In this moment, his happiness and his love for her were flowing so freely that he was not thinking with his head at all. He was following his heart completely and trusting the love he had for her to guide him. That, of course, caused his words to get ahead of him and before he knew it, he'd spoken the words he'd wanted to ask her without even realizing it.

That is, until they left his lips.

The first thing he felt was her happiness turn to shock. That was, of course, natural. His words had come seemingly out of the blue for her, even though to Jasper this wasn't much of a surprise. He'd been carrying an engagement ring for her in his pocket for weeks. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for. This very moment, perhaps?

It didn't matter now. There was no turning back. Though she was shocked and responded in a way that made it seem like she didn't hear what he said, Jasper felt her confusion, her surprise; she'd heard exactly what he said, but she didn't know how to process it. She couldn't believe he'd said it.

He didn't stop to think, he just let his heart guide him as he'd done before. With the hand that was not holding hers, he reached into his pocket and produced the black velvet ring box. He opened it with his thumb and removed a beautiful diamond ring, holding it delicately between his fingers so that she could see it. Very carefully, he shifted her so that she was sitting forward on the bench, and while keeping hold of her left hand, Jasper effortlessly slid off onto one knee in front of her.

"Belle, will you marry me?"

His golden eyes were full of love, unassuming of her answer, but smiling with happiness as he gazed up at her.

* * *

Bella was such an elaborate dreamer.

Whenever she had a dream, she could remember all of the details so expertly, that it seemed like it was a reality instead, like it was a scene that played out when she was wide awake instead of unconscious. It was both a blessing at times and a curse at others depending on what the subject matter of her dreams consisted of. Those with Jasper, safe and at peace, were her favorite by far. They always seemed to be the best, in vivid technicolor for the most part. She could remember even how he smelled in her dream and the chill from his skin. Those things were always right there for her when she awoke, but she liked to toy with the semi-awake line that stood between reality and fantasy when she was only just beginning to open her eyes and come out of sleep.

That was where she felt now. There, but somehow not fully, like when an arm or a leg fell asleep and just before the tingles came, was the feeling of numb. But Bella didn't feel numb or as if she were in any sort of limbo. She felt so many different things at once that it cluttered her head and made it hard to decipher which emotion would win out in the end. After Jasper had reached into her pocket and pulled out the little box, she no longer could foolishly blame the wind or imagination for what she'd heard. It had been Jasper. And he hadn't been joking.

Her breath caught in her throat when she looked down at the ring. It sparkled even though there was no light being cast on it. For a moment, she was mesmerized. It reminded her of something. It reminded her of _him_. When he shifted her forward and slid out from behind her, her eyes followed until they met his. Her heart still felt still, completely motionless and incapable of beating for the moment. She didn't even feel as if she could breathe as he got down on one knee. That was a classic scene, one that had been in many, many storybooks and movies and yet to Bella, it was still perfect, not at all cliché. It was as if this was the first time anyone had ever proposed to anyone else, as if she were seeing it for the very first time.

And it was all because it was happening to her.

"I…"

She tried to speak, tried to process her emotions. But his smile… His _eyes_…

She couldn't think straight. She couldn't think about how marriage hadn't been something they'd ever talked about. She couldn't think about the fact that they were only nineteen (at least figuratively speaking on one half of the equation) and the idea of getting married that young, especially after what happened with Charlie and Renee was laughable. She couldn't think about the fact that the reason that ring sparkled like that was because it was _real _diamonds and probably cost more than her life savings.

All she could think about was one thing.

"Yes," she whispered when she could breathe again, nodding her head.

* * *

Jasper thought he was as happy as he could possibly be as he knelt before her, presenting her with a ring that he hoped would remain on her finger for eternity. Even if she did not accept it, he would never forget this happiness. No doubt it would hurt, but the fact that he was _so happy _right now still remained. It was not something he would ever, ever forget. This moment would be etched into his memory for the duration of his immortal life. He loved her, he would always love her. And even if she said no, no one could take this moment away from him.

All that thought was for nothing, though.

Yes.

She said_ yes. _

Jasper felt all of her shock and confusion turn into elation that matched his. Bella was happy. She wanted this just like he did. She wanted to spend forever with him, devoted to each other and only each other. Jasper could not believe it, but at the same time it all made perfect sense. He'd thought about what it would be like if she said yes, but nothing he thought of was as wonderful or beautiful as this moment right now. She was still in shock, which was normal, but she was _happy_.

As she nodded her head, Jasper nodded too. He wasn't sure why; maybe he was a little dazzled by the whole situation, rather than just her being on the receiving end. His smile grew, practically from ear to ear. He was ecstatic, so thrilled that she'd said yes, that his hand shook a little as he slid the ring onto her finger.

Naturally, it was a perfect fit. Jasper would have settled for nothing less. He slid it into place, and gently kissed the back of her hand, then turned it over and kissed her palm, then her wrist. The entire time, he didn't take his eyes off of hers. Once his lips left her wrist, he could not bear to no longer not to have her in his arms. He stood up and quickly pulled Bella up with him, wrapping his arms around her, nearly lifting her off the ground.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear, then pulled back enough to look at her, smiling happily.

* * *

Suddenly everything hit her at once. Rather, the happiness and the realization of what had actually happened came barreling down on her. The joy she could feel coming from him, the realest form of _love _was nearly overwhelming. But she realized then, that it wasn't just because it was all coming from Jasper when she said yes; it was coming from Bella too.

Her smile was impossible to keep off of her face when she caught sight of his. It only grew when he nodded along with her answer and she couldn't help but to laugh again. She never would have predicted this scene. She certainly never would have imagined to be so elated that she would _laugh_. Then again, Bella wasn't a huge fan of the idea of marriage after seeing what happened to her parents. Perhaps it wasn't being wed that was what she was concerned about, but rather, doing so at such a young age. She supposed in this instance, age was completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things considering Jasper would stay nineteen forever and as soon as she was changed, so would she. Plus – the idea of marriage was entirely different when it was paired with the blonde boy whom she fell so much in love with. Then, it didn't seem nearly so bad.

It didn't seem so bad at all, in fact.

She didn't want to take her eyes off of his. The color of his eyes was her favorite shade of honey gold and she wanted to lose herself in them until she was too tired to keep her own eyes open. But when his gaze drifted down to their hands, her line of sight followed. She could both see and feel the way his fingers her shaking and to Bella, it was something that was endearing. It was another occasion in which someone who was so strong and composed as Jasper let it slip that he was far more capable of possessing nerves. And this was a much happier occasion than when he'd shown weaknesses around her before.

When the ring was on her finger and he kissed her hand, she looked down at the delicate piece of jewelry again and this time, really appreciated how beautiful it was. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever owned and yet, it still seemed to fit her. He had to have been keeping her in mind when he picked it out.

The second her eyes looked up to meet his again, Bella's heart started beating. Once it started, it took off at a run and by the time he'd pulled her against him, it showed no signs of stopping. She could feel it pounding through her chest, swearing that he would be able to feel it too. Her eyes squeezed shut and she hugged him close to her, wrapping her arms around his neck as they embraced.

"I love you too," she promised him when he'd pulled back to look at her again.

The smile on her face was more subdued now, but that was only because her eyes had accidentally left his enough to drift to his lips. After that, doing anything but kissing him was unacceptable.

And so she did. Passionately.

* * *

Jasper certainly did not shy away from kissing her. This was undoubtedly one of the most memorable moments of their lives. He was so happy, and it was because of her. He could feel her happiness too, and what meant so much to him was that _he_ was part of that happiness. He could make her happy, he would make her happy, he _did _make her happy. Along with her happiness, he could feel her love. That was quite possibly the only emotion he could feel more prominently than her happiness. It meant so much to him that she was so happy to be with _him_.

They were going to get _married_.

He had no idea when, or what sort of ceremony it would be, but none of that really mattered right now. They would be together for always, and that was what he cared about most. They could take the steps they needed to plan for everything later. Right now, all he wanted to do was indulge in all this happiness. He just wanted Bella, to be with her, talk to her, kiss her, hold her, just _be _with her. His arms tightened around her, but not enough to hurt her of course. His eyes closed as she leaned up and kissed him, and he returned the kiss just as passionately. Her enthusiasm behind the kiss made him smile as his lips kneaded against hers. It was just another sign of her happiness, which filled his heart even more.

Jasper held onto the kiss until he was sure she was going to need to breathe. When his lips parted from hers, he kissed her cheek, then set her down and moved to sit on the bench again. He gently tugged her into his lap and slid his arms around her again. Immediately his lips sought hers out in another kiss. This kiss was tender, but the passion was still there.

"I already talked to your father about this," he said after he pulled back. One of his hands ran up and down her spine, while the other held her left hand. "He gave me the whole dad speech. You know, the, 'I have a shot gun and a shovel, I doubt anyone would miss you' speech?" Jasper chuckled a little, shaking his head. "But he gave me his consent to ask you. I think he was secretly happy about it, but didn't want to admit it just yet."

* * *

It was a good thing that Jasper tightened his hold on her. Otherwise, Bella wouldn't have been able to support her own weight. It was another cliché, of course, to say she felt weak in the knees, but after he kissed her back with the same passion that she felt swelling inside of her, she honestly would have fallen. But like always, he never let her fall. Just like he'd told her when they were watching that silly old movie and imagining how things would be if they lived – well, if they _both _lived during that time. They'd been talking light-heartedly about how her lack of coordination would never bode well with the big dresses that were common attire for women back then. But Jasper promised he'd always catch her if she stumbled.

Her soldier.

Even when he'd pulled back from their kisses to let her breathe, Bella wasn't sure she could manage. She felt dizzy, but deliciously so, like a child who got a kick out of spinning round and round in circles until their surroundings were a blur. The only difference was that Bella's surroundings were perfectly clear. They were only consisting of Jasper. When they were sitting, she was all too eager to return his reinstatement of liplocking. She leaned in to give him yet another when he started to speak again. His words hit her just as her lips brushed against his and she immediately halted, pulling back to look at him in wide-eyed astonishment.

"You- You talked to my dad?" she asked incredulously. "Charlie.." she said, shaking her head, even more confused with this development than she had been when he initially asked her to marry him. "Charlie?"

Her head tilted to the side slightly to regard him, studying his face to see if this could somehow be another joke. But it didn't seem likely. "And he seriously only _mentioned_ a shotgun and a shovel? Are you sure he didn't make a break for them immediately?"

This news was shocking to Bella. She knew how much her father had warmed to Jasper in the past month, but she honestly thought he would put his police chief gun-holding privileges to use if ever _anyone _asked to marry his daughter. Especially when she was still a teenager.

But knowing how traditional Jasper was and how much of a gentleman, Bella couldn't imagine him not asking for permission first. It made sense and yet still, she couldn't get over the fact that Charlie had taken it so well. Sure enough though, the blonde was still very much alive (figuratively of course) in front of her and thus, it had to have gone somewhat smoothly. She racked her brain for a moment to think if Charlie had acted strangely at all recently, but she couldn't come up with anything substantial. Just a one-time tight embrace one morning when she set his breakfast in front of him. She'd looked at him like he was crazy, hugged him back, and then they both acted as if it had never happened. Maybe she should have looked into it more.

"When did you ask him?" she asked. "What did he say? What did _you_ say? Are you sure he didn't have his gun on him? Did he even threaten you?"

* * *

Going to speak with Charlie about asking Bella to marry him was never in question for Jasper. Just as Bella had assessed, he was a gentleman, and he was from an era where that was a common practice. That was simply what men did when they wanted to marry a woman. He wished he could have spoken to Bella's mother as well, but there had not been an opportunity for him to do so. He would speak to her soon, though, especially now that he'd asked Bella to marry him. Still, speaking to Charlie and having his approval of the situation was a large weight off Jasper's shoulders. The police chief wasn't entirely _thrilled _with the idea, but by the end of their conversation he'd been smiling again, patting Jasper on the back as he sent him on his way.

"I talked to him after we watched a game. You'd gone to Angela's for a while so you didn't have to listen to us talking about sports," he said, grinning. "I asked him if I could talk to him about something and he agreed. If he'd known then what I was going to talk to him about, he probably would've refused."

Jasper laughed a little, then went on. "I didn't really sugar coat it, I just told him what I wanted to do. He was quiet for a while, then wanted to know why. I told him nothing would make me happier. He was skeptical, but then I went on to say that we were going to different colleges, and that I'd feel a lot better with you walking around wearing a ring on your finger to ward off guys trying to pick you up, since I won't be there. He agreed very strongly with that. I also told him I was not opposed to a long engagement. I wanted you to be able to do all the things you want to do before you're ready to settle down. I still want that."

Jasper subconsciously had begun to play with the fingers of her left hand. He often did this when they were laying together, sitting together, even when he held her hand wile driving. He'd always had a fascination with her hands. "I promised him you'd always be taken care of, but that just because I've been blessed with financial privileges, that didn't mean I had no ambitions of my own or that I'd cushion yours with money. He liked that, too. He wasn't dancing on the roof over it, but he did give me his blessing to ask you. That's all I needed."

He kissed her cheek, and continued to lightly play with her fingers. "I'd like to speak with your mother soon, too. If it's all right with you, that is. I just think it would be for the best if she knew me before I became her son-in-law. I'd like to have her blessing, too. Of course, I'm sure you know you already have the blessings of Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle went with me to find your ring." He smiled at the memory. That had been a truly wonderful bonding experience with his father, and he'd also enjoyed looking at rings for Bella in general.

"I think if I'd asked Charlie about this before taking him to that ball game, he _would_ have shot me on the spot. At least now that he likes me, he had to think about it first and decided against it." Jasper grinned again and chuckled. "I just wanted you to know I talked to him so you didn't think you'd have to hide or worse, explain why you have a ring on your finger when you see him later."

* * *

Bella closed her eyes for a moment and tried to imagine the scene in her head as Jasper described it. The first part was easy and definitely something that had played out several times in the past few weeks. If Jasper and her dad had been talking about sports and watching a game, it was likely that Bella would have wanted to get some freedom from that. Angela was her biggest resource for that. She'd gone to school at the community college in Port Angeles with Ben so she still lived at home. Thankfully for Bella. It was nice to have a female's company around. She was always happy to spend time with Esme, of course, but it was nice to sometimes be around someone her own age. She couldn't exactly do that with Rosalie and thus, she was glad to spend time with her best school friend, _especially _when there was a live Sports Center in her living room. She didn't mind missing that part, but she wished so badly she could have been a fly on the wall for the next.

She could imagine Charlie's quiet skepticism before asking Jasper why he would be asking for his blessing to marry his daughter. She could also imagine that the chief of police would be impressed with the boy's thought process and how he'd considered keeping away the rest of the male population when they were separated. Any father would appreciate that for his daughter, especially considering he liked the one boy that she chose to be with. If she had to be with anyone, especially for the rest of her life, Charlie would have preferred Jasper, especially after getting to know him so much better.

But Charlie wasn't the only one impressed by his words. Bella was too. She knew Jasper meant it when he said that he wanted her to be able to do anything she wanted to do before getting married. She liked that. She liked that he respected that and made it seem like marriage wasn't the end of her young life. It was just the beginning with the engagement. It meant something that he would support her with the things she wanted to do. Of course, all she wanted to do was be changed to be just like him and spend the rest of her life with him. Aside from that, there wasn't exactly a long list.

She smiled as she watched him play with her fingers, a common habit but seemingly more significant now with the added weight to her ring finger. "Well don't get me wrong," she said when he finished. "I'm pretty glad you survived either way." She nuzzled her face into his face, pressing a kiss just underneath his jawline. "Thanks for telling me."

She was thoughtful for a moment before speaking again. "Actually, I wanted to ask _you_ something," she said, twisting her fingers with his and toying back with his hand. "When you said something about Mom… I was thinking about going to Jacksonville for a little while to visit her. After Christmas, maybe. Come with me," she said, looking up at him.

* * *

One of the things that Jasper felt very strongly about was that Bella should live her life as she chose. He wanted her to be able to do all of the things that she wanted, and he wanted her life to be as normal as it could be - given the circumstances. It made him happy that she still enjoyed spending time with her school friends, and he was glad she had found a good friend in Angela. He did not know her, but the fact that Bella enjoyed her company was enough for him. It was nice for him to see that she was not consumed in all this other-worldly madness and darkness that seemed to loom around every corner. He wanted her to be able to engage in that human normalcy as much as she could, even if he couldn't be a part of it.

Getting to know Charlie had been quite the experience for Jasper. It'd taken him a few tries to win the police chief over, but he was glad he could finally do it. It also pleased him and gave him a little sense of pride to know he'd done it on his own, without the use of manipulating Charlie's emotions in his favor. Jasper wanted it to be genuine, not forced. And it was. That meant a lot to him, and he knew it was very important to Bella too. Anything he could do to make her happier and to make her life easier and better, he would not hesitate to do it. Jasper found he actually really liked Charlie, too. They were similar in their dry humor and quick wit, and both were usually quiet unless speaking about something they either knew a lot about or really liked.

Bella's mother was another story. She was almost a complete enigma to Jasper. He didn't know much about her at all except for what little snippets he'd heard here and there. He knew she lived in Florida with her husband Phil, and that Phil played baseball. The baseball thing was something he knew he'd be able to bond with Phil over if he needed to, but what about Renee? Bella seemed to have gotten a considerable amount of her personality from Charlie, from what he'd observed. It was a little intimidating, actually, but he knew this was something they needed to do. He wanted to have some sort of relationship with her mother.

"I think that's a great idea," he replied, smiling. "We'll make arrangements tomorrow, if you'd like. I'm sure your mother would love to see you. I'm sure the weather will be in my favor by that time, too. The sun shouldn't be at its brightest there in December." He grinned a little, giving her side a playful squeeze.

"Do you think your mother will like me?"

* * *

Bella was happy with the fact that Jasper thought it would be a good idea to visit her mother. It wasn't just because they were engaged now. Bella missed her mother and of course, wanted to see her. But it was important that the timing was soon. She knew what it meant when she supposedly went off to school. When she was changed, she would be a newborn vampire and wouldn't be able to see either of her parents for a long time. That was the hardest part of the change that Bella would have to deal with and one that saddened her at the thought of it. But she knew she had to make sacrifices in order to spend eternity with Jasper and it was worth it to do so. But before that, she couldn't do it without seeing Renee as her normal, human self one last time.

She realized how little Jasper probably knew about her mother and thinking about that now brought a smile to her face. "Will she like you?" she repeated when she settled down after he squeezed her side and caused her to shriek and squirm on his lap. "Yes," she said simply, seizing his hand and keeping a firm grip on it in case he had any more ideas to squeeze her most ticklish spot on her side.

"It's hard for Renee not to like anyone," she explained. "She won't dislike you unless she has a reason to. I think she's going to be knocked off her feet when we tells her the news," she admitted, "but that has less to do with you and more to do with me getting married so young. Her and Charlie were about my age when they were married and you know how that ended."

She didn't like thinking about her parent's marriage ending when she was comparing it with her and Jasper's. Then again, there was no question that she would be with Jasper forever, long after she stopped breathing even. Their outcome would never be the same as it was for Renee and Charlie.

"I've told her about you," she said, tracing her forefinger in between the dips of his fingers. "She's more anxious to meet you than anything else. But I'll warn you now… you and Renee are about as opposite as can be," she said with a fond smile. That was true and yet, she loved them both effortlessly.

"She's a bit all over the place. She's prone to doing everything completely backwards and I seriously wouldn't be surprised if she asked you completely inappropriate questions about our relationship," Bella said, cringing at the last part. It would not be at all far-fetched for her mother to mention something to Jasper about the sexual aspect of their relationship. She'd already made mention of it once when Bella spoke of Jasper and ever since, the brunette had been sure to keep their conversations short when it came to talking to her mother about her unnaturally good-looking boyfriend.

"I apologize in advance."

* * *

Jasper leaned back against the back of the bench and pulled her with him so that she was resting against his chest. His arms were around her waist loosely, his fingers every so often brushing against her side or her arm. He listened closely as she spoke of her mother. Clearly some of the things Renee did embarrassed Bella a little, but she spoke with nothing but love for her mother. It was endearing to listen to. It was also interesting to him to learn about the woman who had raised Bella before she came to Forks.

Renee sounded very different from him, it was true. Jasper was not an extrovert, despite his charisma. He could definitely be spontaneous at times, but Jasper was usually very strategic and structured in his way of thinking. He was calm and reserved most of the time, but he did have a playful side - which Bella surely had seen by now.

"That's all right, honestly. Emmett says inappropriate things all the time. After living in a house with someone like him for sixty years, I'm sure staying with your mother for a week won't be so bad." He smiled warmly at her and kissed her temple.

There were of course, _some _concerns he had other than being caught off guard by a remark made by her mother. The wildlife in Florida wasn't exactly what he was used to in regards to his diet. The idea of hunting seagulls and alligators wasn't exactly.. appealing. He had a few ideas, though. He would for certain hunt right before they departed for Florida. He'd take down a couple of bears to fill himself, definitely. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to get away with it, but he was considering finding a way to bottle and pack a stash of blood to bring with him. It wouldn't taste good by the time he drank it, after undergoing different temperatures and not being fresh, but it'd keep his eye color from changing drastically during their stay. He'd think about it, but hunting wasn't going to be exactly easy to do while they were there.

"We could leave the day after Christmas, stay for five days or so, then be back for New Years Eve," he suggested. "Or we could spend New Years in Florida. I can have tickets for us tomorrow, though I suppose you ought to speak with her first." Jasper smiled and kissed her temple again. "It'll be a good trip. I've actually never been to Florida before..."

He trailed off in thought, already hoping for an adventure with their trip. But no matter how it went, Jasper already knew that the best adventure was yet to come. The best adventure would be Bella becoming his wife.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well? Let us know what you thought! We loved writing that chapter and hope you loved it just as much. The Florida visit is coming next and it's HILARIOUS. We're splitting it into two chapters because it's quite long, but you won't be disappointed. While there's a lot a humor in the next two chapters, they're a lot of hot moments as well. ;D Stay tuned!

**Lyrics:** Memories - Within Temptation


	8. Chapter 8

*** Please read the important author's note at the end of the chapter.**

_I remember the sound_  
_of your November downtown_  
_and I remember the truth_  
_a warm December with you ;;_

It was amazing how different life was with a ring around one's finger. But for Bella, what was more amazing was how similar it was to how things were before. There were noticeable differences, of course. Charlie certainly was the biggest one. He was normally himself, but there were times when Bella caught him staring just a little too long into space and insisting that she was well taken care of. He'd offered to cook for the two of them more than once (to which Bella always tried to say no in the most polite way she could without telling him his cooking skills sucked). The talk they'd had when Jasper took Bella home that night had been something of an awkward situation. Charlie could tell something was up with the way Jasper was smiling more than he'd ever seen him doing so and Bella was fidgeting. Especially with her hand. That's when he noticed the ring. He just sighed when his daughter shrugged sheepishly and even gave the two of them a Charlie-smile. It was easy to see that he was coping well with Jasper going to be the only other male member of his family.

He did seem to get a kick out of Renee finding out though more than anything else. When Bella mentioned that she was going to take Jasper to meet her, Charlie immediately offered to pay for the tickets. He seemed smug at the idea of Renee taking the news about Bella getting married. Bella, at first, resisted his offer, more concerned with the idea of the money as opposed to the reason why he was all too happy to pay for the trip. But there were a few reasons why she accepted. One was the fact that Charlie said they could be for her Christmas present. As one who didn't accepts gifts all that easily, that was one she wouldn't mind, considering it included Jasper. Secondly, it meant _Jasper_ couldn't pay for them. She had a Christmas gift of her own for the blonde and with Charlie securing the tickets rather than Jasper doing it himself, it allowed Bella to work around this gift for him more easily. Tickets were the last piece of the puzzle for the months she had been secretly planning for the excursion.

Christmas had come and gone and spending it with the Cullens and Charlie had been nothing short of perfect for Bella. They had all come over to the Swan house rather than the other way around and it was clear that the chief of police was honored by this. He held a great deal of respect for the Cullens, especially Carlisle and even though it was nothing in comparison to their riches, he felt proud to have them in the house that he was the patriarch of. Bella's favorite part had been watching Rosalie's face when she took sight of something particularly 'human' and her perfect features would scrunch up until Emmett or another one of the family members nudged her into being polite. There was one thing though, that was still on Bella's mind despite the happier occasion of the holiday; the next day was when they were taking their trip to Jacksonville.

* * *

When their plane touched down in Florida, Bella still hadn't told her mother the news. When Renee eyed Jasper up and down shamelessly upon first seeing him and being introduced, Bella still hadn't told her. When they drove back to the house, Bella still hadn't told her. Even when it had turned darker in the sky, the brunette was still putting it off. It was hard to know how to just... spring it on her. She'd been hiding her hand impressively since they were reunited. She didn't want to take the ring off for fear it would upset Jasper, but she was having a tough time knowing how to tell Renee the news.

It wasn't the most graceful way of doing things.

They'd been watching television in the front room. Phil was at a team function that had been put off until after Christmas. Bella was hardly paying attention. She was so tense that she was sure Jasper could feel it in the way she stiffened beside him on the couch, even though she'd made sure to leave some room between them. The potted cactus that Renee had decorated to be their 'Christmas tree' was Bella's focal point behind her mother's head as she blurted the truth out in the middle of a commercial about carpet cleaner that Renee was scoffing at.

"Mom, Jasper and I are getting married."

Her face was the color of the ketchup stain in the carpet cleaner commercial as soon as she said it. Her eyes shifted from the cactus, sheepishly toward her mother. She didn't dare look at her... fiance. That word would take awhile to get used to for certain.

Renee looked shocked, then puzzled, then shocked again. Then he expression changed to something that Bella couldn't understand and at the moment, she wished so badly that she too, had Jasper's special ability to read emotions. When she finally spoke, Renee's words were actually probably the most obvious ones to say.

"You're telling me this in the middle of a carpet cleaner commercial?"

* * *

Jasper had never been to Florida before. He didn't really notice the humidity, despite it being December. The temperature difference wasn't exactly something he could feel; it all felt the same to him. The weather was on his side, though. The sun was concealed by a layer of clouds, enabling him to be outside when it was necessary. He'd been greeted kindly by Renee and Phil. He wasn't sure what to expect, given he didn't know either of them except for what he'd been told. She'd looked him over several times when they were picked up at the airport. Jasper felt everything from skepticism at first to surprise to something that could only be described as devilish, to happiness. Bella was not kidding when she said that Renee was all over the place. Phil at least had been more calm. He was a pretty laid back man, from what Jasper gathered. He'd at first been a bit hesitant, but Jasper just attributed that to him being protective of Bella.

All it had taken was a simple "thank you, ma'am" from Jasper and he'd managed to win Renee over. Despite her being a forward thinking, non-traditional modern woman, there was just no resisting Jasper's southern charm. Ever since that moment, Renee had been nothing but all smiles for her daughter's boyfriend.

One thing he did notice was that Bella was not exactly forthcoming about their engagement. He understood. It wasn't something that one just sprung on their mother, especially when she was just meeting him for the first time. From what Jasper knew, Bella's mother also had strong thoughts about getting married young, since she had and it had not ended so well. He also knew that Bella was a bit of a private person. It wouldn't have surprised him if she simply didn't know what to say about it.

Even though he felt pretty confident in that he'd won Renee and Phil over, Jasper was careful in showing his affection in front of them. This was Bella's mother. He was going to let her call he shots in that regard, and that included revealing to Renee about their engagement. It was odd though. He could almost feel Renee _wanting_ them to be more affectionate. To an extent he could understand; she wanted her daughter to be loved and she wanted to see it first hand to be sure that Jasper actually did love her. In order to ease that fear, he made sure that Renee could feel the love he had for Bella.

While sitting on the couch watching television, Jasper could feel Bella's nerves creeping up on her. He wondered if she was thinking about telling Renee of their engagement. He'd felt this same feeling dwelling within her since arriving, surfacing every now and then but quickly diving back down. He never asked her, but he figured that's what it was. And he was right. Without warning, Bella blurted out the news. Jasper's eyes widened, but he didn't speak. He was trying to assess Renee's reaction more than anything else. Stunned, for sure. Shocked, but then calm. Her dry retort was completely unexpected.

He turned his head to look at Bella, then back at Renee. "Timing aside.. I had hoped to speak with you about it, in the hopes that you'd give us your blessing on the matter."

* * *

The way Jasper reacted was a prime example of why the two of them were so good together. No matter what Bella did, he seemed to compliment her actions. He smoothed them over and made them appear as if they weren't so off the wall or outlandish; for example, blurting out to her mother that she was getting married at age nineteen.

She imagined her sudden exclamation was something of a shock for Jasper as well considering it was so spur of the moment, but he knew her well enough to be assured of the fact that such was not at all that uncharacteristic of the brunette. Bella surprised even her self, truth be told. But despite her unorthodox way of going about doing things, she immediately felt as if there was a weight lifted off her shoulders. Enough at least that she could finally take her left hand out from beneath her thighs where it had long since gone numb from safe keeping.

Bella didn't speak for a moment after Jasper did. She was expecting her mother to say something but when the woman who was known for being a chatterbox was completely silent, Bella launched into one of her flustered fits.

"Mom, it just happened not too long ago. It wasn't something we talked about before. Jasper just asked Dad because he was _there_ and he hadn't met you yet and like he said, he wanted to talk to you, but with the whole country kind of between us, it made it hard. I wanted to tell you sooner but I thought maybe it would be nice if it was in person and you actually got to _meet_… to meet… Mom?" Bella questioned, stopping in the middle of her tangent when she took a second to actually look at the woman.

There had been only twice in her life when Bella saw Renee cry.

Both times had been related to deaths. The first had been when Bella's grandmother had died and the second was when their cat died when Bella was seven. That was it. Her mother didn't cry when Bella wound up in the hospital numerous times for all sorts of different accidents (all of which she was well recovered from, of course). She didn't cry when she and Phil got married. She didn't even cry when Bella told her she decided to leave Phoenix to go live with Charlie. But right now, there was the unmistakable glistening of tears in Renee's eyes.

Bella's immediate reaction was fear. If she was crying, this couldn't be good. Obviously something was wrong considering her lack of tearing up history. "Mom, please… please don't cry," she said, starting to get off the couch.

But Renee shook her head and held up her hand to wave her off. "I'm not crying," she insisted. "It's just this carpet commercial. It lies. It doesn't get white carpet that clean," she said, sniffling, obviously realizing her quick façade was easily seen through.

"Oh my baby!" she wailed then, getting out of her armchair and throwing herself on Bella, squeezing her so tightly that Bella was having trouble breathing, both from the pressure and the sudden shock of her mother's thoughts on the matter coming out.

"Mom. Air," she gasped, patting her on the back.

Behind her mother's shoulder though, Bella smiled at Jasper.

* * *

Jasper did not let his gaze linger for too long on Renee. He knew it was impolite to stare, so he looked from her back to Bella again and used his power to read her emotions without staring. He was a little nervous. He'd pretty much known exactly how Charlie was going to react when he spoke to him about wanting to marry Bella, and he'd been pretty correct in his assumption. It had turned out better than he'd hoped, but he was still accurate in Charlie's initial reaction to his words. With Renee, he was flying blindly. He did not know her, or her way of thinking and feeling. He only knew what Bella had said of her, which he could definitely see, but that did not tell him how she would react to the news of their engagement.

At first there was only shock to feel. He could understand that, as it was blurted out very suddenly and it wasn't something one heard everyday. Her continued silence was a bit concerning. Even after he spoke, she did not exactly respond. He'd hoped that his words would help soften the shock of the news. Bella couldn't seem to wait before she spoke again. She started speaking very quickly for a human, rattling off excuses for as to why they'd not told her about it until now, everything from the practical to the possibly not so practical excuse. Jasper did not know what to make of this at first. He wondered if he should actually apologize, but that didn't seem like the right thing to do. Instead, he stayed quiet and continued to wait until he could feel something from her.

Renee then silenced Bella and Jasper looked over at her once more. He could feel emotions beginning to rise within her. There was some sadness, he could tell. But he did not think it had anything to do with their engagement and everything to do with the fact that there was a realization that Bella was no longer an eight year old little girl. Beyond that, he could feel a surge of happiness, overwhelming her and bringing tears to her eyes. It was because she was happy that Bella had found such happiness. She had seen her daughter completely broken, at the lowest point of her young life. To know now that she'd found such happiness was such a relief, such a blessing. It overwhelmed her to the point of crying and hugging Bella so tightly it nearly cut off her air supply.

Jasper caught Bella's smile and he returned the expression to her. It seemed everything was going to be okay. Renee was not upset that her daughter was engaged as a nineteen year old. She was thrilled that Bella was so happy. Jasper could feel it coming off of her stronger and stronger.

Before he knew it, Renee was hugging him - which of course made him a little nervous. Anytime a human approached him so abruptly it made him tense considerably. He was used to Bella, but he'd never touched her mother before. He stopped breathing for several seconds until he was used to the sound of her heart, which was beating much faster than usual, then he returned the hug loosely.

Renee, on the other hand, gathered herself enough to welcome Jasper to the family, then returned to Bella, where Jasper could've sworn he heard her comment on his muscular physique and for her to sit closer to him because he seemed cold. He had to duck his head to hide his amused grin.

* * *

Jasper wasn't the only one who was nervous when Renee suddenly turned her affections on him as well. Bella's entire body tensed. She didn't think any harm would come to her mother or anything like that, of course, but it had been a quick move that obviously Jasper hadn't been preparing for. She watched his face carefully, her eyes wide with nerves as she tried to assess whether or not he was all right. He had only just met her mother and she knew it would take him some time to get used to her. Not just her crazy mannerisms (as was just easily proven in the way the situation played out about the engagement news) but because he wasn't accustomed to her smell either. Not in the same way he was about Bella's or Charlie's. But he seemed to be handling it well. Renee didn't even notice the small pause before he returned the gesture safely.

Bella relaxed and couldn't help but to grin fondly at the sight of the two of them. Two of the people she loved most in the world and they were both happy and accepting of one another. It was how she felt whenever Charlie and Jasper started getting along. The idea of marriage was still somewhat scary, especially when Bella thought of it in the way it was often shown on television shows with over-the-top wedding planners and million dollar dresses. But even though they still hadn't talked much about it yet, Bella was positive that such would never apply to her and Jasper's wedding. She would want to keep it a small and intimate event and she was sure that he would likely feel the same way. They were so similar in their mindsets about being the center of attention and keeping things simple but meaningful. Their whole relationship had been like that and there would be no reason for it to change when they were wed or when Bella was changed. It was nice to keep the confidence in that fact.

When Renee turned her attention back on her, Bella's face flushed red at her mother's words. Of course she knew that the older woman didn't have much of a censor on her, but this was the first time that she ever encountered her daughter's boyfriend. It wasn't as if Bella had any before when she lived under the same roof. She warned Jasper that her mother would say inappropriate things and even though what she'd commented about his physique wasn't that bad (and entirely true), it still made Bella blush. But even still, she had to smile again at her commentary.

Yes, Jasper had a body that was equivalent to a marble god of some sort, but his hard lines had a lot to do with what he was. His temperature certainly did. Now that she was no longer housing a bombshell, Bella didn't feel so awkward about sitting closer to the blonde. She didn't have much choice in the matter though when Renee squeezed herself on the other side of her on the loveseat and Bella was squashed between the two of them, almost halfway in Jasper's lap.

"Tell me everything," Renee gushed. "When is it going to be? Where? In Forks, I guess? Oh, I wish you'd want to get married _here_ in Jacksonville! It will actually be sunny! Your dad's house is too small for a wedding. I don't see you getting married in a church though, no. Unless, you're religious of course, Jasper. What about a beach? Oooh! What about somewhere really original like one of those scuba diving weddings?! I've always wanted to go scuba diving! And there's all the matters about the dress and the flowers and everything. I guess most of that wouldn't matter as much if you got married in the ocean though, right? I'll look into that in the morning!"

Well, it was no wonder where Bella got her rambling from.

"Mom," she said, making a face. "We're not getting married under water." She cringed at the thought and even more so when she realized that such ideas would be coming left and right now that her mother was informed they were getting married. "We just want something small," she said, looking over to Jasper for his approval on that. "Nothing crazy."

* * *

Jasper was proud of himself for being able to embrace Renee and not have to struggle too much. That was a big step for him, being able to be so close to someone who was virtually a stranger and not become overwhelmed with his natural instincts to bite. It was admittedly a very difficult test for him. He had gotten more accustomed to being in close proximity to Bella, and to an extent having Charlie nearby. But in this situation, he was constantly surrounded by three beating hearts and blood streams all at once. At least in Forks, he was surrounded by his family too. Having them nearby was a source of strength for him. There was an entire country separating them now, but he still had Bella. Though he did lust her blood at times, she was a calming presence that kept him sane. His love for her was enough for him to focus on to keep the bloodlust away.

They were squished on the loveseat with Renee and Jasper felt a little badly for Bella. She was forced to be pressed against him and he knew it couldn't be too comfortable. While she didn't complain when she laid against him at night, or when she leaned into him by choice, this was a bit different. There was nothing he could do, though. He moved his arm to rest around her shoulder rather than being wedged between them so as to give her a little more room. Renee didn't seem phased by that at all. In fact, she seemed to look at them both with all the more admiration. She _liked_ seeing her baby being appreciated and loved. He had to force himself not to laugh when Renee started rattling off outlandish ideas like getting married underwater with scuba gear. How would they be able to recite vows underwater? Jasper got the mental image of giving the minister and Bella a thumbs up sign instead of saying 'I do.'

Again, it took a great deal of will power not to laugh.

"Yes, I believe we were going for understated elegance," he said, flashing her a dazzling smile. "I'm sure my mother would love to speak with you about details. I can have her call you when we go back to Forks. She's an interior decorator and restores old homes so they can be sold. That's what she did for our home. We haven't spoken much about it but having the wedding there might not be a bad idea."

He looked at Bella with raised eyebrows. They really hadn't planned anything. To Jasper, there wasn't much of a rush. He didn't measure time in increments by days, so it made no real difference. They loved each other, and he would always love her. It was more of his vampiric way of viewing his mate, rather than a human male wanting to marry his girlfriend.

"Of course, I believe we still have plenty of time," he added, taking a similar approach about their marriage with Renee as he did Charlie. "I support Bella in her ambitions and she supports me too." This time his smile was flashed to Bella. That was the honest truth, and he wanted her to know that.

The engagement of course, was the topic of conversation for the rest of the night. Renee wanted to know all the intimate details of how it happened and had no trouble asking for them in front of Jasper. Bella was much more reserved, but the conversation was easy and Jasper enjoyed getting to know Bella's mother better. From that evening alone, he knew the rest of the trip would be a memorable one.

And he was eager to find out.

* * *

Staying in Jacksonville had been more pleasant than Jasper anticipated. That was not to say that he expected it to be a disaster. He hadn't known _what_ to expect, and thus he had no expectations really. He'd just hoped Bella's mother and step-father would like him, or at least accept him as someone who loved their daughter. What he'd gotten was all of that and more. He could feel it from both Renee and Phil that they approved of him and actually _liked_ him. It certainly made the stay more pleasant. Jasper had gone to the ballpark with Phil a few times since they'd arrived, both to allow Bella some time alone with her mother (since she did not see her often, obviously), and so he could get to know Phil. He was a part of Bella's life, so that was enough to Jasper to make it a priority that he got to know him. Of course he'd spent time with Renee, too. Usually with Bella, of course. He answered any and all questions that were asked of him, and always regarded her highly as he would Esme.

They were obviously spending a lot of time with Bella's mother and step-father, as was intended for their visit. However, they also were permitted ample time alone. Renee was much more relaxed about that than Charlie. Jasper was always still a gentleman, and didn't take advantage of it, but he did value any time he had alone with Bella. There was an undeniable attraction, a pull that was stronger than either one of them that existed between them. And even though he was well over a century and a half old, he was still locked in a nineteen year old's body, and was engaged to a nineteen year old girl who had become very much in touch with her hormones.

It had been several days since they'd touched intimately. That wasn't to say that they were like rabbits in their bedroom behavior. Actually, they _didn't_ have sexual relations that often. It was still a dangerous exchange for them to engage in and Jasper took that very seriously. It wasn't natural for a vampire and a human to make love. It went against nature for him to regard her as his mate and not his prey. But Jasper's whole way of existence seemed to go against nature so it wasn't that odd to him. Regardless, he knew he could hurt her, and he knew how easy it would be for him to lose control of himself and crush her in the midst of their passion. However, it was probably _because_ they were not as intimate as they would be were they the same species that their urges sometimes were very, very strong.

Such was the case today.

Renee and Phil had gone shopping, both for some exercise clothes for Phil and for groceries. According to them, it was going to take a few hours. Jasper had not _intended_ for things to take the turn that they did, but this was one of those moments when urges and their desire and pull towards one another got the better of himself and Bella and there was no denying it.

Things had started out innocently enough; they were curled up on the couch together watching some movie he'd never heard of. It wasn't holding his interest the way her scent was. Jasper couldn't help but kiss on her neck and nuzzle her hair. Before long, he was holding her and they were kissing chastely.

But that innocent element of the kiss did not last long. Passion overpowered it easily and soon enough, Bella was in his lap and his hand was up her shirt, massaging her breast as he kissed her deeply. His other hand was secured around her waist, though he was blindly attempting to unfasten her jeans.

* * *

Once the weight had been lifted from her shoulders, Bella could not only appreciate just getting to visit her mother and stepfather finally, but she could appreciate doing so with Jasper as well. It meant a lot to her to be able to spend time with her family, especially when she knew that for a long time after she supposedly went off to college, it would be awhile before she could see them again. That was hard for Bella to think about, but she vowed that she wouldn't while they were visiting. It should have been a time of happiness and looking _forward_ to the future, not a time of worry and doubt about what was to come and sadness at what the truth might bring.

But not _all_ the time was necessarily painless. When Jasper would be spending time with Phil, it was so Renee could torture Bella. It was like the news of getting married meant that she immediately needed to be turned into a girl. Not that she wasn't one before, but she never before had been forced into a lingerie shop. Let alone multiple ones. With her mother.

The day after Bella and Jasper told her the news, the afternoon had been spent learning Victoria's secret. Bella didn't think it was such a big secret at all. The truth was that sexy lingerie scared her. A lot. There were some things that Renee picked out that Bella wouldn't even know how to put on, let alone attempt to actually be sexy in. But admittedly, the brunette _did_ show a little more interest in lingerie than she ever would have before. Even when she was assaulted in the clothing shop in Nehelem Bay, her and Jasper weren't sexually intimate with one another yet. Now that they had been, she was more conscious of how she looked both with clothes on and off. And the little bits in between.

But there had been one horrifying ending to the mother-daughter trip.

Renee had wanted to make a whole day of their adventure and so she suggested they go to the spa to get pedicures and manicures. Even though she wasn't really into the pampering thing, Bella didn't mind this, especially since it gave her a chance to tell her mother about Jasper. When she was talking about him, the time went by faster than she realized. Renee asked all kinds of questions about his likes and interests and Bella was more than happy to tell her. There was one point in the conversation where Renee suggested that Bella model her new purchases for her fiancé when they returned home to which Bella, of course, burned the color red that her mother was getting painted on her toes, and then immediately disregarded.

But still, that had not been the worst part.

Oh no. Not by far.

When Renee insisted that Bella get waxed, Bella thought she was talking about her eyebrows. She'd gone with her mother a few times to get them done a few times in Phoenix and didn't mind it. When one of the salon workers started leading her to a separate room to get them done, she figured it was weird, but didn't question it since she'd never been to this salon in Jacksonville and she thought it was kind of nice that it was more private. But she was wrong. It was not her eyebrows that were in danger.

Bella actually laughed out loud when the woman told her to take off her pants and her underwear. Looking around, she thought she was on some sort of reality show or something. The woman looked at her as if she were crazy and when Bella started to realize what was going on, the same look was shot back.

"No," she said. "Oh no, no, no. There's definitely been a mistake. I'm just getting my eyebrows done," she said, backing away toward the door. The salon worker produced a receipt slip that said otherwise.

"Bikini wax," she insisted, pointing at the black print. Not far beneath was Renee's signature.

The only word Bella could see was 'traitor.' Horrified was not even a good enough word. She couldn't speak about what happened in that salon room, not even when she came home and Jasper asked about the day.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, shaking her head. "Shopping. Salon." That was all she could tell him. She was too mortified about the rest.

She wasn't too mortified to let him see exactly what she'd been up to when the two of them started to get a little hot and heavy on the couch the next day though. What had started off as innocent turned into a lot more and rather quickly at that. The salon experience was far from her mind when his hand moved to unfasten her jeans and his other hand was fixated with her breast.

Bella felt like she couldn't get enough of him at one time. His shirt was already unbuttoned and laying open, but it would take too much time to pull it completely off of him and truth be told, she didn't want him to take his hands off of her in order to do so. Her own hands weren't exactly stationary either. One of them was twisted in his hair and the other was rubbing his erection through his jeans eagerly. Her lips moved away from his only long enough to reattach against his neck. Kissing a trail up the column to his jawline, she continued until she reached the spot just behind his ear. When she did, her tongue brushed against the sensitive skin there.

All other thoughts, including where they were, were lost. All she could see, think about was Jasper.

* * *

Jasper really, truly had not intended for this to happen. In his mind, he'd planned to keep his hands to himself and remain on his best behavior while staying in Bella's mother's home. When they returned, he would thoroughly please her and satiate both of their desires, but for now he'd planned to be good. Things didn't always go as planned, though. Clearly. Thus was the case considering they both were in various states of undress and their hands were in places that certainly weren't innocent.

Once they began to give in to their passion for each other, there was very little that could stop it. Outside interference, or if Bella requested him to stop. Those were really the only two things he could think of. He wasn't really thinking at all right now, though. All he _could_ think of was Bella and pleasing her. Even that was a bit difficult when her hand was creating a delicious friction against his lower region. He couldn't help but move his hips against her hand in a slow rhythm. With her lips pressing to his neck and her tongue teasing him there, Jasper had to bite back a moan. He wanted her to be pleased, too, but he couldn't quite do it with the way his hands were positioned. So he let his power do it for him. As he continued to pay special attention to her breast, he let waves of desire roll off him and onto her. He'd done this to her before, on her birthday. This was one of the aspects of his power that he liked. He could pleasure her any time he wanted, really.

Like now.

Jasper nudged her head back up so he could kiss her again, kneading his lips against hers and kissing her deeply. He pulled back only to pull her shirt up over her head and set it aside. With newly exposed skin before him, he could not resist kissing down the length of her neck and across her collar bone, all the while releasing as much pleasure into her as he could, but not quite enough to send her over the peak of her passion. He didn't remove her bra, but he did dip it down enough that he could close his lips around the peak of her breast and tease her there to add to what he was doing so effortlessly. Bella was so beautiful to him, and he wanted to worship her body every chance he got.

* * *

The fact that they were in Phil and Renee's living room, intimately putting their hands all over each other wasn't something that Bella was fully grasping. The only thing she was grasping were certain well-endowed parts of Jasper's anatomy. It didn't even register that they should maybe move to the bedroom if they were going to continue to carry on with their actions, not only just for the fact that it was probably more comfortable and efficient, but because it was a lot more private. Even though there was no worry of anyone else being in the house with Renee and Phil planning on being out for awhile, it just seemed… inappropriate for the two of them to be having sex on her mother's couch. A couch that they would all probably be sitting on later.

None of that mattered though. There were no signs of thinking logically or halting in their actions, especially when her shirt was lost and Jasper's lips were most certainly found. It was amazing how pleasured she was when their touches were not even their most intimate. Yet. Bella was convinced that with the way she could feel his want and desire, both physically through his actions and the way his body was reacting to her, and emotionally through the intensification of his power in its rawest form, that he wouldn't even need to be inside her before she was able to reach her peak. That he could have such a strong effect on her was amazing in and of itself. Of course, she wasn't opposed to waiting until all of their clothes were on the floor as he actually _was_ inside of her. The fact that his gift could be used for such good was something that Bella didn't mind taking advantage of. Jasper didn't seem to mind either.

Her back arched against him and her head fell back, eyes closing as she moved her hips against his, still with her hand trapped between their bodies. Her fingers paused in their movements to squeeze his arousal firmly through the fabric. But she wanted to be touching his skin. She _needed_ to be touching his skin. Sitting back up straight, both of her hands went to his pants to get them open. Her mouth dipped to his neck against, kissing along the cold skin there.

"I want you so bad…" she breathed between kisses.

She'd only just managed to slide her fingertips down his abdomen past his navel when the kitchen door opened.

"We're home, kids!" came Renee's cheery voice, ripping through the passion of their moment and suddenly slamming them both with a dose of harsh reality.

Bella froze instantaneously as if she'd been dowsed with a bucket of ice water. It was probably because of that second that she froze that things took a turn for the absolute worse. It was amazing that Bella managed to pull her bra back up in time. Unfortunately, in her haste to get off of Jasper and her shock and horror at the situation, she stumbled as she stood up. She groaned when her hand and knees hit the floor just in time for her mother to stroll past the living room armed with two bags of groceries. The only thing worse than being caught was being caught on her hands and knees on the floor, her shirt still an arm's length away from her.

If it was possible, Bella wanted to disappear into the floorboards.

"Mom, I-" she stammered, reaching for her shirt and pulling it on in a rush (inside out of course). "We- I thought-"

She couldn't think of anything to say, let alone formulate actual words or sentences. This was the single most humiliating moment of Bella's entire life. The bikini wax was laughable when it was compared with this. She stared, horrified, as she waited for her mother's reaction.

Renee, on the other hand, took one look (a lingering one) at Jasper's partially naked body on the couch, one look at Bella, and then one at the forgotten movie on television and shrugged.

"Something about George Clooney movies. It does it for me and Phil too," she marveled, grinning as if she just shared a secret. An inappropriate one that did _not_ help in this situation. "Dinner's in a half an hour. But take your time, kiddos," she said. "I can save your plates for later," she said cheerfully as she disappeared into the kitchen again.

* * *

If there was one thing (out of many) that made vampires unique from humans, it was their incredibly heightened senses. They could see _everything_ around them, their sense of smell was unmistakably accurate, and their hearing was overwhelmingly spot on. They were able to sense something, and immediately react accordingly. It was part of what made them such dangerous and threatening predators. They were able to strike or respond before anything approached or realized they were there.

Jasper's senses and reaction time were a bit compromised today. In the past, he had always been able to listen for Charlie, to get out of Bella's room or hide wherever he could in order to keep her from getting in trouble for for Charlie to find them in a compromising position. He'd just managed to win over the police chief; the last thing he wanted was for him to find them in some sort of state of undress, tangled together in the heat of passion. That day, it would not be Charlie who found the, but Bella's mother Renee. He honestly did not know which was worse. While the repercussions of Charlie's discovery could have been more severe, at least Jasper would have been able to predict what they were. He barely knew Renee. He also had such a high regard for women that he was mortified to have exposed her to the fact that he was undressing and feeling up her daughter. He had just been so caught up in Bella and being with her that he didn't hear _anything_ but her breaths, her voice, her heart.

He'd leaned back enough for her to be able to reach her hand in his pants to relieve some of the ache and tension that lurked beneath, and he was in the midst of unsnapping her bra when the door opened. Not even a vampire's inhuman speed was fast enough to disguise what they had been doing. Jasper couldn't move to dress her, to move away from her, to display a scene of innocence. Renee walked in, and there they were, in the midst of indulging in each other. Surely she could have felt the desire and lust in the air. He was laying it on pretty thickly.

Jasper always was the calm one, the one with an answer to every situation presented to him no matter how urgent, or how out of the blue it was. But he'd never been in this position before. He didn't even know where to start. He just sat there, like a deer in the headlights. There really was no way to recover from this. Even as Bella frantically pulled her shirt on the wrong way, he was silent. For one thing, his lower half was angry with him, protesting from the lack of contact, while the rest of his body was sending him signals to flee from the scene immediately. He couldn't exactly stand, though. Somehow he managed to zip up his jeans and fasten them, but he was so mortified he just wanted to disappear. He'd have to leave, for certain. Should he return to Forks, or should he go to a hotel? Really he just wanted to disappear. Maybe Phil would come at him with a baseball bat.

Or, she could stare at him, shrug, and make a comment about the movie. And was that _attraction_ he felt coming from Renee?

Jasper knew that vampires were naturally appealing to humans, as part of the camouflage. But this was Bella's _mother_. If there was anything more embarrassing than being caught as they were, it was the fact that his fiancee's mother found him attractive. Jasper quickly buttoned up his shirt. By the time Renee walked into the kitchen and they were alone again, Jasper had his head under a throw pillow and was laying face down on the couch.

"Oh my god," he mumbled, just barely audible from his makeshift hiding place.

This was a new level of mortification that even in his century of living - or unliving - Jasper had never experienced.

Ever.

* * *

It would seem like actually getting caught would have been the worst part of what happened. Instead, it spawned a slew of incredibly more awkward moments. Bella knew how attractive Jasper was. Yes, he was designed to appear to be so more than would a normal human, but even if he was just like her and was warm-blooded with a heartbeat, he would be just as attractive to any female capable of sight. Thus, she couldn't exactly blame her mother for taking notice as well. But that fact of the matter was that it was her _mother_ and it wasn't something that was comfortable to endure. If it was tough for her, Bella imagined that Jasper would have had it worse, since he'd be able to feel Renee's attraction coming from her without even trying.

The worst had been the immediate aftermath of when they were caught on the couch. Of course Jasper and Bella were both present for dinner – early, if anything – but in a way, Bella was wishing they could have just skipped it to avoid sitting at the table as if nothing happened. She could barely speak as Renee chattered on about her and Phil's day as if there was nothing out of the ordinary.

While Bella couldn't even look at Jasper across the table, her mother had no trouble. She openly stared, mainly at his chest which, unlike it was when they'd been interrupted earlier, was completely covered now. Phil didn't mind at all. He was used to his wife's wandering eye and her inappropriateness. He was far more reserved, but it was one of the things that attracted him to her to begin with and he liked his wife's healthy sexual appetite. To him, it was more amusing than anything to see the way she took to her daughter's significant other and he quietly observed, trying hard not to crack a smile.

For the rest of the night, Bella made sure there was a good amount of distance between her and Jasper. When they were sitting on the loveseat after dinner, she was so far on the opposite side from him that she was crushed against the arm of the little couch. She needed a shower. Badly. Even though they had been interrupted in the most embarrassing way, Bella was still human and she was still very hormonal. Having the idea of being fully satisfied and not being able to actually fulfill that goal did not bode well with those hormones.

Sexually frustrated was putting it lightly, especially since it had been a little while since she and Jasper slept together. Not being able to even touch him in the most innocent ways was something that Bella was not dealing with well. She announced she was going to take a shower and though it was needed, she still tried to make it as quick as she could. The reason? She feared for Jasper when he was by himself with her mother. Phil was a buffer, but not much of one.

What she should have been fearing, however, was not when she was in the shower, but when Jasper was. She was getting dressed in her room, just having finished when Renee came in looking flustered with a smile as wide as the Cheshire cat's.

"Mom?" she questioned with suspicion. "Honey, I'll tell you. You _really_ picked a good one. I haven't seen an ass like that on a man since-"

"Mother. What did you do?" Bella demanded, interrupting as horror settling in the pit of her stomach.

"I was just bringing him some more fresh towels, baby," Renee said innocently. "He has a lot to dry off!"

"_MOM!_"

Bella honestly wondered how she could possibly be more embarrassed than she already was that day, but it was definitely a possibility when her mother just gushed about having seen her fiancé naked in the shower. "We're seriously going to stay at a hotel," she said, pushing her mother toward the door.

Renee only laughed, not understanding what the big deal was at all. She was thinking that it was a good thing for Bella to know how well she'd done when picking a future husband. She was just giving her approval! "See? Aren't you glad I got you that bikini wax?" she said as her daughter shoved her into the hallway.

"OUT!" Bella pleaded, physically burning with humiliation. "And stay away from the bathroom!" she demanded, pushing her hands into her back and walking the woman all the way back to the living room where Phil had the audacity to laugh at the whole situation. "Phil, _please_," Bella begged.

Being a good man, he got to his feet and took Renee from her. "All right, all right. Come on, you little pervert," he said, scooping his wife into his arms and carrying her away as she squealed. "Leave the kids alone."

For the rest of the night, Renee did. But the damage had already been significantly done. When Jasper came back into the room, Bella knew it was him even though she was laying on the bed with the covers pulled completely over her head. "I'm so sorry," she moaned, putting her hands over her already concealed face.

* * *

Jasper wasn't sure there was really a way to recover from the discovery Renee had made. Truly, how could one come back from that? He knew it was difficult for Bella, too. That was her mother, who she rarely ever saw. It was a bit baffling that Renee had been so calm about it. Jasper hadn't felt any sort of malice, any resentment, any form of anger coming from her. Amusement, maybe even a bit of envy, and definitely attraction. Maybe _that_ was what was most unsettling, the fact that there was no anger at all. The reaction wasn't even close to what had been expected. At least if they'd gotten yelled at, they could apologize and things could be remedied.

No, it wasn't like that at all. Dinner went perfectly normal, as if nothing had happened at all. Eating wasn't exactly easy for Jasper. Food didn't digest in a vampire's stomach, and their taste buds did not pick up on the savory food that he was eating while staying at the Dwyer home. It was easy to avoid eating while staying with Charlie, but since they were _living_ with Renee and Phil at the moment, it couldn't be avoided. Jasper knew that was something he'd have to face, and it wasn't a big deal. He'd just spend a little time in the restroom after eating to get it out of his system. It wasn't as unpleasant as it sounded. While throwing up for humans was often painful and miserable, he didn't get the sick feeling or any other unpleasantries when he went through it. He just had to get it out of his stomach. As soon as it was, he felt fine.

Fortunately Renee hadn't noticed. However, she did notice when he took a shower. Quite possibly the only thing more embarrassing than being caught in the throes of passion with Bella was knowing full well that her mother was spying on him while he was in the shower and there was nothing he could do about it. He had hoped that when she snuck in to bring him towels that she hadn't seen anything, but, given the attraction he felt _again_ that had spiked higher than when she'd seen him with his shirt open, he knew that wasn't the case.

As difficult as this had been for him, he knew it had to be twice as hard for Bella. He knew she had to be worried about what he was thinking, worried if he was unhappy. He didn't want that for her. As awkward as things had been, he was actually really enjoying himself. Being with her was all that mattered to him, and actually, he really did like her mother and Phil. They were different, but he got along well with them. The last thing he wanted was for Bella to worry about him.

After his shower, he dried off (though his hair was still a bit damp) and changed into what would be sleeping attire if he actually slept. The drawstring was left loose, letting his pajama bottoms droop a bit from his hips. He entered her room, seeing her lying there with the covers over her face. It was endearing, especially when she apologized.

Jasper moved to sit on the bed next to her, and pulled the covers down. "Hi," he said softly, smiling at her and brushing a bit of hair from out of her eyes.

* * *

Bella _was_ worried that he was unhappy. She tried to warn him when she first mentioned the idea of going to see Renee in Florida that she had a tendency to be inappropriate at times. But because she had never had a boyfriend around her mother in the sense that she did now, it would have been impossible to predict. It was a question of whether or not it was simply because Bella had a fiancé now and Renee was so eager to see her daughter being loved and cherished romantically, or if it was just because the one who was doing all of that loving and cherishing was so enticing. Either way, it went so much further than Bella ever could have predicted.

Being that it was the first time Jasper even met her mother made it a million times worse. They hadn't even been staying in the house for forty-eight hours and already her mother had leered shamelessly over her fiancé over a dozen times, once far enough to do so when he was privately taking a shower. She never had to worry about these kinds of things when it came to Charlie. She actually, given the chance, would have rather had her father catch the two of them intimately entwined on the couch instead of her mother. At least his response would have been bearable. What could he have done besides ban Jasper from the house? He'd still be able to sneak in every night through her window like he did when she was grounded in the past and forbidden to see him. But with the situation concerning Renee, that humiliation was hard to erase.

Bella feared that Jasper wouldn't want to be subjected to that. She couldn't blame him – she honestly didn't want to either, but she was used to her mother's antics. First impressions were everything, however, and she could only imagine the first one he had of Renee. She already knew full well what Renee's had been of him. But when he came into the room after his shower, she didn't feel any anger coming from him or anything that could be construed as especially even negative. Instead, his voice was sweet and his actions gentle when he freed her from her duvet shield.

"Hi," she said guiltily, opening an eye to look up at him. "Please tell me you didn't hear all that," she said in reference to the conversation she'd just had with her mother groaning as she rolled over onto her side away from him to hide her red face. "If you did, lie and say you didn't anyway," she begged.

* * *

Jasper could understand how mortified she was over the situation. After all, he'd cohabited with Emmett for over half of a century. His big bear of a brother wasn't exactly known for being subtle or shy. He couldn't even count on all his fingers and toes the number of sexual comments he'd hear in the span of a day spent with Emmett. Of course, it was different coming from his brother than from a maternal figure. If Esme said some of the things he heard coming from Renee's mouth, Jasper probably would have found a way to die despite his immortality.

However, he _did_ understand and so he wasn't upset or anything of the sort. He was understanding, and actually as more time passed and he wasn't quite so mortified, it was almost a bit funny. Basically Bella's mother was a female, human, petite, slightly quieter version of Emmett. With that mindset, none of the things he'd felt, heard, or saw really could get to him. He wished Bella could share that mentality, but he knew it was different. Renee was her parent, after all.

His smile pulled more to one side when she turned over to face away from him. Jasper didn't want her to hide from him, but he did find it adorable that she was being shy about all of this. He gently traced his fingers down the length of her arm, resting his hand on her hip over top of the blanket.

"I'm not even sure what you're speaking of," he said, playing the fool. "All I know is that I've been forbidden to sleep on the couch and ordered to stay up here with you. Far be it for me to disobey."

With his other hand, he started to lightly stroke her hair, before he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. Jasper made no move to turn her over; he would never force her to do anything, after all. But he did want her to feel soothed, comforted, and to know that everything was all right.

"They've gone to a midnight showing of George Clooney's new movie."

He couldn't help but tease, even though it was the truth. They really _had_ gone to a midnight showing of a film. He left out the part that Renee had tacked on at the end of her message, which consisted of them having 'plenty of time to finish what they started.'

* * *

It was definitely different hearing sexual innuendos when they came from Renee instead of Emmett. Bella had heard the big bear of a Cullen joking about disgusting things before and she was almost used to it by this point. Of course it was embarrassing then, but usually, Bella and Jasper weren't the subjects of his teasing and it was more of a general thing. That didn't mean he didn't joke when she wasn't around and Jasper just never told her. He would be too much of a gentleman to do that most likely. But her mother made it no secret for either of them. This was the woman who gave _birth_ to her, not a teenage boy.

Bella knew he was lying like she'd asked him to. Of course he would have been able to hear the conversation that took place between mother and daughter after mother decided to be a peeping tom. That was a definite downside to his heightened sense. There would be no hiding embarrassing comments. The secret about the horrors of the day before at the beauty salon had been unleashed too, thanks to her mother's big mouth, even though Bella had desperately wanted to conceal that scary, embarrassing moment. But at least he wasn't commenting on what Renee had said about his body. It was true, yes. But Bella was pretty sure it was uncomfortable to hear about what a good physique one had from their fiancee's mother.

Multiple times.

When Jasper told her where Renee and Phil went, she turned back over to raise an eyebrow at him. "Are you joking?" she asked, unsure of whether or not he really was.

After the comment her mother made about the movie they were watching, she honestly didn't know if that was just code or if they'd really gone to see it. She didn't want to think about it either way. After understanding why her mother was always so fixated on George Clooney, she would never be able to watch one of his movies again.

Regardless, it hadn't been George that had caused what happened on the couch earlier that day. It had been another leading man. Currently, that man was putting any movie star to absolute shame in terms of looks. Bella cursed herself for turning away from Jasper at all without _looking_ at him first. His curls were still wet, but they were taking shape after his shower. Traveling lower, her eyes moved over his torso and down to the peak of skin that showed on account of how low his pajama bottoms were slung so low. The dips that his hipbones made caught her attention and upon doing so, Bella was reminded of everything that they didn't get to finish earlier due to their mishap.

Meeting his eyes again, she reached up and grabbed the front of his t-shirt to pull him down to her. "What were you saying about not disobeying?" she asked not-so-innocently.

Embarrassment was powerful, yes. But desire was stronger.

* * *

"I wouldn't joke about George," he said, raising his eyebrows.

The change in her emotions was very obvious to Jasper. She'd gone from still feeling apprehensive about their entire situation in Jacksonville, to being very pleased with where she was at the current moment. He was glad to feel this change within her, because more than anything he wanted her to be happy. If that involved them becoming more intimate as a result, well, he certainly wasn't going to object to that.

Jasper did not have hormones as Bella did, but he did have desires. He had the vampiric equivalent. There would never be a time when he did not desire her, or want to be with her intimately. He felt a pull to her all the time, as any vampire did with his or her mate. But for him, it was probably amplified due to his power. Not only did he feel his own desires, but he felt hers as well. Currently, hers were rising very fast, and so were his. The fact that they hadn't slept together for a while, coupled with the fact that they'd been interrupted before made everything they were feeling intensify, it seemed.

He grinned when she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged him down. He willingly leaned down and started to kiss her as soon as he was able to reach her lips. The only obstacle in getting to her was that he was above the covers and she was below, but that would work itself out. He could only think of kissing her now, which he was still doing as he pulled the duvet down off of her. Once it was gone, his hands slid down her body and he pulled her up quickly, so that in one graceful motion she was perched on his lap as she had been before.

Apparently Jasper was taking Renee's instruction to 'pick up where they left off' very seriously.

* * *

If Bella knew what else Renee had said to Jasper, she would have been embarrassed by the words. But it was partially because of her suggestion that Bella ended up in his lap again. Therefore, she couldn't be horribly angry, especially if it meant she was getting intimacy out of the deal. His words confirmed that her mother and stepfather had gone out for the night and seeing as it wasn't quite midnight yet, it meant that they would be gone for awhile. There was no chance of them coming home early again if George was involved. Bella had a newfound respect for him if that was the case.

She sighed against his mouth as soon as it was on hers. He knew exactly what she was seeking and when he pressed his lips to hers, he delivered expertly. As he kissed her, she returned the gesture, making a slightly surprised (but pleased) sound when she found herself off her back and in his lap in a matter of a second. It really did feel like they were picking up right where they'd left off that afternoon except this situation was far more conducive to their situation. The bed was more spacious and more comfortable and with neither of them wearing the same heavier clothes as earlier, it was much more noticeable that they were close to one another.

Even though there was time and they had a lot more privacy with the door shut to her room even if her mom and Phil did come home earlier than expected, Bella still felt rushed. Maybe it was because of the fact that they'd started this before and there wasn't so much of an innocent lead up. One thing was for sure, the kisses they started with now weren't at all to be considered chaste.

While the one they were engaged in continued, her hands moved under his t-shirt, tracing up his chest and taking the fabric along with them. She broke from his mouth only long enough to take off his shirt and throw it aside. As soon as it was gone and his chest was bare, her mouth was back on his and her fingers were eagerly exploring his skin.

* * *

Jasper could certainly feel and understand her need to move quickly. They'd deprived themselves the physical intimacy that they craved from each other for far too long. It was not until they had to stop that Jasper realized just how much he needed her in that particular way. Her eagerness made him smile, but he knew he was just as eager to have her undressed and crying out in pleasure, shaking with the ecstasy he'd wanted to give to her before.

It was no secret that Jasper had insecurities about his upper body. Those feelings spanned back over one hundred years. Admittedly they had gotten better, but, that still didn't stop him from tensing when she took his shirt off. But Jasper knew that Bella loved him. He knew that she knew exactly what she was touching every time her hands slid over his bare chest, shoulders, neck, and jaw, and every time her lips brushed over the scars she couldn't see. His insecurities did surface again this time, but her fingers were all over him, feeling every line and every muscle. He could feel how much she wanted him, and even more he could feel how much she _loved_ him. Her touch and her love caused the tension to wash away and made room for his desires to become more dominant.

His hands were firmly placed on her hips, but they soon left so he could run them up her sides and subsequently take the delicate top she was wearing up over her body. He cast it aside as she'd done with his t-shirt. With more skin exposed, he gazed down at her for a moment to appreciate her beauty. Jasper didn't take too long, because he didn't want her to get self-conscious, but he thought she was stunning. He started to kiss down the slope of her neck until he reached her shoulder, all the while his hands roamed over her sides, her back, around to her breasts, then down her sides to her hips again. As he held her, he pushed his hips up against hers and began to create an intense friction between their lower bodies. He gasped against her skin and lifted his head so he could look into her eyes again. He leaned in and kissed her passionately, and could not help but do as he'd done before with his power, elevating her pleasure and desire without lifting a finger.

* * *

Bella was glad that Jasper shared in her eagerness and was just as happy to move along with things as she was. But she didn't fail to miss the hint of tension coming from him right after she took his shirt off. She'd felt it before. Anytime she ran her fingers along his chest or his torso, he tensed for a moment as if he were waiting for her to change her mind or react in another way that wasn't completely and utterly attracted to him. But Bella never did because she never had anything but those genuine thoughts for him. She loved him. Every single part of him. Yes, he was physically beautiful to the eye, just like her mother attested to numerous times since she'd met him. But Renee didn't have a chance to know the rest of him like Bella did. The intimate, emotional and mental beauty that Jasper contained as well. She was lucky to know all sides of him, even the parts of him that he didn't like so much.

Even so, the moment passed quickly and his actions to follow made it clear that he wasn't feeling quite so insecure about his body, but that could have been because Jasper turned most of the attention on hers when he removed her shirt. She didn't want to let that feeling he had go unaddressed, even though it was gone by this point. But it was very difficult to think when his lips were moving along the skin of her neck and his hands were roaming over her body. The worst form of distraction was the way he moved his hips against hers. The grind against each other made it feel as if it were hard to breathe and coupled with the way he used his power over her to intensify everything she was feeling made her feel too dizzy too quickly, as if she stood up from a chair too fast.

But that also was a reminder that she wanted to be able to please him just as much as he could please her. She didn't have a special ability like he did, but she did know how to pleasure him in other ways and she had her body to help her. Bella was by no means a seductress, but when it came to pleasing Jasper, she had learned a few things that he liked.

And there were a lot more things that she thought he might.

She returned his kiss with the same passion for a few moments, but as she did, she pushed on his shoulders enough so that he was laying back. When he was situated against the pillows, she gave him another kiss, bringing her hands to hold his face gently. When she pulled back, Bella opened her eyes to meet his, holding his gaze for a serious moment.

"Stay still," she whispered.

She kissed him again, slower this time with the passion still there, but understated. Her lips continued to be gentler, slower as they moved down his neck and his torso, switching their heated moments to longer, more intimate ones. She made sure to take extra time kissing over the sensitive skin that she knew was scarred beneath her touch but to her, was still so beautiful, just as flawless as it appeared to anyone else. While her lips paid attention to his chest, her hands moved lower. One settled on his hip. The other dipped into his pajama bottoms to stroke his erection. But she didn't stop kissing his skin, trailing her mouth softly to his navel and the smooth skin just beneath.

After she removed her hand long enough to slide the pajama bottom down his hips, Bella looked up at him again to meet his eyes. "Stay still," she breathed again, willing him to try to listen to her instructions if he could to make it easier – and probably safer – for both of them.

Her lips moved back to his skin again, but they soon moved on to far more intimate areas. She was nervous to be certain and that was mainly because she'd never done this before or anything like it, but pleasuring him was more prominent. The way it felt – the way _he_ - felt was all that mattered. Kissing the tip of his arousal experimentally first, she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding before taking him into her mouth carefully.

* * *

Jasper knew that Bella did not judge him only on his looks. She didn't 'judge' him at all. She loved him, and was never judgmental. She had every right to judge him, more than anyone else. He'd tried to kill her twice, after all. Why shouldn't she judge him? But she didn't, and she loved him unconditionally even though he didn't feel like he deserved it. Yet here they were, tangled up in each other's passion, giving themselves to each other. He wanted to make sure she knew how much he appreciated her, loved her, adored her, and wanted her. He wanted her to feel desired, too.

Her request for him to 'stay still' wasn't unusual to him at first. If she was going to finish undressing him, or touch him in further intimate ways, no doubt she didn't want him moving around. Jasper complied, only moving when she guided him down onto his back. He had returned her kiss, and then watched as she started to kiss over his neck and upper body. He shivered as her warm lips brushed against his scars. He was so sensitive all over up there, he simply couldn't help it. Jasper closed his eyes and took in a slow, deep breath, then exhaled just as slowly. Her kisses felt so good on his skin. The warmth traveled down to the pit of his stomach, and at first he thought it was the internal feelings that normally pooled there. It wasn't until his pants were off and the feeling became stronger that he opened his eyes and saw that it was her lips physically causing that feeling.

"B-Belle.. I.."

He gasped as soon as her lips touched the sensitive tip of his erection. It felt entirely different than when she'd been stroking it before, but that wasn't to say it was a bad thing. Not at all. It sent a shocking wave of pleasure up through his body. Her warm breath came next, and it caused his head to tip back momentarily. Was she.. really.. going to do this..? It certainly seemed that way.

Jasper ran his hand through her hair and lightly cupped her cheek, looking down at her. He brushed her cheek with his thumb, then slid his hands back up into her hair. He made no move to push her away or force her to continue. This was all on Bella's terms.

* * *

Bella was human. Bella was a teenager. Bella had a boyfriend – fiancé now – who she had been sexually active with. Bella thought about sex. Bella thought about having sex with Jasper. Bella thought about having all _kinds_ of sex with Jasper.

But when she often did the latter, she was nervous. Because she wasn't experienced, it made things worrisome when she thought about new elements in their more intimate relationship. It didn't help that Jasper literally had over a century of this sort of experience. She knew he loved her no matter what and would never judge her for her lack of expertise in the bedroom, but because she was only a teenage girl, the thoughts were still there.

But when they were in the moment, everything else went out the window. Her worries, her fears, her inadequacies – they were all lost. He didn't push her away or tell her he didn't want her to go through with her means of pleasuring him. Instead, he encouraged her gently without pressing her to do anything. That was exactly what she would have expected from him and even though he wasn't asking her to do anything, Bella _wanted_ to. She _wanted_ to bring him the intense amounts of pleasure that he was able to always bestow upon her. She wanted to do this for him.

She didn't try to think of any sort of technique or what would show off any sort of skill. Instead, she just did what she _felt_. She used the pleasure coming off of him to drive her actions more than anything else. Being careful was still important and she was still slow with her administrations. She made sure to be careful of her teeth as she slid his length between her lips. He was too well-endowed for her to take all of him in her mouth, but she managed to slide her lips downward a significant amount without a struggle before moving back to the tip. She repeated this process a few more times in the same steady manner.

Glancing up at him, she paused to make sure he was all right. If he wanted her to stop, she would immediately. If Jasper didn't like what she was doing or she was making him feel uneasy, she would stop. When Bella continued again, she added a little more pressure with her lips and her tongue swept against him as she found more of an even pace. The hand on his hip remained there while the other traced fingertips up his inner thigh and settled on the base of his arousal.

* * *

Jasper was a gentleman, from an era when sex was something a married man and woman engaged in behind closed doors and never spoke of outside of their marriage bed. A kiss on the cheek was scandalous, let alone anything else taking place between a young man and woman who weren't married. From what he was made to understand, even married couples didn't talk about sex. Naturally everyone knew it happened, otherwise children wouldn't be born into the population, but that was understandably the purpose of it. Not because it _felt good_. In his human life, Jasper followed that to an extent. He'd never had sex in those nineteen years, but he had courted a few young ladies. Once he was in the army, he came to realize that he wasn't the only one who thought about sex from time to time. There were a few times when stationed in certain towns that he'd been tempted, and been given the opportunity, but he hadn't given in to those urges. That didn't come until later.

He understood that Bella was a bit intimidated by the fact that Jasper had more experience in this area of their relationship than her. He also felt she needed to give herself more credit. While he was the first she'd ever been with sexually, her natural instincts always seemed to guide her in ways that brought Jasper tremendous amounts of pleasure. Now, for instance, was a prime example of that. She'd never done this before, and yet he was already feeling a knot tying tightly in his stomach, threatening to snap and push him over the brink of ecstasy.

The way her lips drew his length in and her tongue swept over the sensitive skin were unbelievably pleasurable. His fingers had curled around the sheets, gripping the soft fabric in his grasp to keep him from giving in. The fingers of his other hand were tangled in her hair, but he made sure not to pull too hard. The last thing he wanted to do was pull her hair out, after all. A soft groan escaped his lips, and he let his head fall back against the pillow. She needed to know she was making him feel amazing, and he was not too shy to do that. Tradition aside, gentlemanly nature aside, one thing that had amplified in his transition into being a vampire was his passion. He had obviously pushed through the boundaries set in his human life.

Jasper moved his hips, only slightly so as not to startle her or force her to take more than she could of him into her mouth. He couldn't help it, though. His body was responding naturally to her actions. He had certainly never felt anything like this before. He groaned again, her name falling off his lips as he stroked her hair and massaged the back of her scalp.

* * *

If Bella had any doubts about whether or not he was enjoying himself and what she was doing, it would have been hard to continue to house them when he was reacting in the manner in which he was. There was a moment when she considered stopping in order to look up at him to ask him whether or not this was all okay. After all, she hadn't gotten his permission which was slightly important due to safety. It would have been awkward, admittedly, if she mentioned it beforehand, but still, she didn't leave time for much discussion when she just instructed him to stay still and commenced with taking their sexual relationship that they hadn't been before.

But there was no need to ask. She still wanted to pause for a moment and just _watch_ him, enjoy the way his body was moving and the expressions his face was making. But she imagined that if she did that, it wouldn't be quite as pleasurable as it was for him now and with the signs and signals his body was sending her, Bella was not ready to stop. The most noticeable reaction was in the way his mouth emitted pleased groans. She always liked the sounds he made when they were intimate with one another. They were the biggest key that Jasper was enjoying himself as much as she always was. Of course she loved the way she could _feel_ his pleasure due to his special gift, but it was another sort of satisfying when she could experience the rawer, more physical aspects of it as well.

When he started to move his hips, it allowed her to have a better sense of the pace she was pleasuring him at. His movements along with his sounds and the way he moved his fingers through her hair, and again, thrown in with the waves of pleasure she could feel coming off of him, all worked to pleasure _her_ as well. Pleasing Jasper was just as erotic as being pleased herself and she was all too happy to be able to indulge in doing such. She too, could not help but to emit a soft groan, her mouth still wrapped around him in the meantime. She was feeling comfortable, more confident even in what she was doing thanks again to his response and so she tried to increase the pleasure even more for him by moving a little faster. Her hand in addition to her mouth allowed two different sensations working together and she continued with the pattern as her pace quickened.

* * *

After this, Bella should have had no question or doubt in her mind that she wasn't experienced enough to pleasure him. Jasper had already torn her sheets in his fisted hand. Fortunately they probably wouldn't have to say a word to Renee about it. That was one of the positive aspects about having an apparently progressively forward parent when it came to her daughter's sex life. The only thing Bella might suffer because of Renee wanting to know the details. Perhaps if they were sneaky about it, they could wash the sheets and change them on Bella's bed so that they wouldn't be discovered until after they were long gone. In any case, Jasper was feeling an unbelievable amount of pleasure and he wasn't refraining from letting her know.

When she made a sound, the vibrations from her voice against his arousal drew another groan from him and caused him to hold her hair a little tighter. "Belle.." he moaned her name and tried his hardest to not move his hips too much.

The last thing they needed was for him to jerk his hips and break her nose or shatter her teeth. That would not be conducive for the rest of their sexual experience that night. He didn't want to have to rush Bella to the emergency room for something like that - or worse, be consumed with bloodlust from her injury. He quickly forced all of those scenarios out of his mind and just let the pleasure take over again. The tiniest drop of his sweet release escaped him and he knew he was close.

Jasper didn't want this to end; the moment, that was. He gently caressed her hair, then cupped her cheek and guided her up from him after another heavenly minute of her pleasurable motions. He flashed her a smile and pulled her over him so he could kiss her deeply in gratitude. He wanted _so much_ to taste her, to give her that same pleasure that was so unique to any other way of touching intimately. While he probably could have by only using his lips as he did when he kissed her, Jasper feared that her sweet taste would be too much for him to control himself. It was hard enough with her scent, let alone her taste.

He reached down between them and found her entrance, then began to stroke her there to make sure she was ready. Jasper could feel she was already aroused, both physically and emotionally, and he couldn't wait. Ridding her of her panties, he then pulled Bella back on top of him and shifted her hips over his. He positioned his aching arousal at her center, and then slowly pulled her down onto him. He kept his golden gaze locked in her eyes, and as soon as their hips met he reached up to touch her face and pull her down into another kiss. Jasper let his hands slide gently down to her hips to rest there. He wanted her to take control as she had just before, to guide her own rhythm for him to follow.

* * *

Bella didn't even notice the sheets, nor would she care. Even if Renee came home early yet again and waltzed right in the room, Bella wasn't even sure she would be able to acknowledge it like she had earlier that day. She was too fixated on Jasper. Everything about him in that moment. His taste, his temperature, his movements, his sounds – they entranced her and she couldn't comprehend anything that wasn't concerning his pleasure. It seemed like the other events of that day were long gone and nothing else even existed but the two of them together, sharing passion that other people only ever could dream of. Bella hoped that because she wasn't able to think about the other more traumatizing events of the visit, that Jasper wouldn't be able to either. That had been partially her goal with her bravery and new experimentation, after all – to please him enough to ignore anything negative, including how he felt about himself.

The way he moaned her name sent chills up her spine and she knew it would stay in her head for a long time after they were finished. His tone was unguarded, seductive. She was throbbing between her legs with how much _she_ was turned on from pleasuring him. But that was remedied when he pulled her on top of him. The smile he flashed her was one that also wouldn't be leaving her memory anytime soon and there was a flicker of self-satisfaction that ran through her when she noted that she was the one to bring that smile to his mouth. Admittedly, she missed his taste, but when it was replaced with his lips, the brunette wasn't about to complain. Instead, she indulged in it, returning the kiss to indicate that she was just as aroused as he was. He would know that for himself, however, when he rubbed his fingers against the apex of that arousal in addition to the aura of intoxicating desire that surrounded her.

Eyes closed when he slid into her and a sigh of fulfillment left her lips. Her body was so in tune with his, even if they couldn't be as sexual with one another as either of them wanted to be or do so quite as often on account of their differences in nature. But still, it was amazing how much satisfaction was brought to her when the presence of him was evident in the way he felt inside of her. It was as if they belonged together, always entwined intimately, fitting like matching puzzle pieces on the most physical level.

He initiated their kiss, but his hips were still and Bella understood without words that he wanted her to be the one to take action. That was fine by her considering now that he was inside of her, all she wanted to do was feel every single sensation that came along with it. Bella's mouth remained on his so she could properly kiss him even as her hips started to move against his. But she increased her pace sooner than perhaps she would have liked due to the fact that she was already turned on. Upon doing so, her kisses were more haphazard, shortened because of the way her breaths were coming and her hips were rocking against his.

* * *

The feeling that rushed over him whenever he and Bella were joined was indescribable. Even for Jasper, who was an expert when it came to feelings, could not put into words how he felt. All he knew was that it was beyond incredible, and unlike anything he'd ever felt before. It didn't matter that they were a difference species; they still fit together, they still could be joined - he as her lover, she as his mate. It was beautiful, when one looked at it. But all Jasper could think about right now was pleasuring her, and all the pleasure she was giving him.

As Bella rocked her hips against his, Jasper groaned against her lips and kissed her deeper. When she found a rhythm that she liked, he started moving his hips up to meet her each time she lowered hers. He had to take extra care not to clutch onto her, so as not to bruise her body, but he was giving her sheets a test of their durability. Every time she lowered onto him, he'd thrust his hips up into hers, pressing deeper than he thought he'd ever been inside of her. They were moving quickly, faster than their usual slow, sensual pace. Both of them had been so eager, Jasper honestly couldn't even remember how or when he'd gotten the rest of her clothes off before they started making love. He ran one of his hands down her back, up her side and down her front to massage her breast again. He opened his eyes to look at her beautiful body, and only then did it really strike him that she'd.. altered herself a little. He'd noticed, but it didn't really hit him until just then because everything had been so rushed before.

"Belle.." he murmured her name again and raised up to be sitting.

His arm wrapped around the small of her back to keep her balanced on his lap, but he did not stay sitting for long. Easily, he flipped her over onto her back and laid her down gently. He'd pulled out of her in the process, but did not leave her body unattended. His fingers replaced his hand, teasing her as he'd done before. She needed to know he appreciated what she'd done. After all, she'd been in a good deal of pain after having _that_ done. He remembered from when she came home from the spa.

His fingers slowed down to gently stroke at her entrance and trace around the smooth skin. His lips slid down over her breast, then to the other. His cool breath mingled against the fevered flesh of her stomach as he slid down her body. Her scent and the heat were so intoxicating, it was a real testament to his will not to lose control. Slowly he pressed his lips between her legs and started to kiss her there, just as he would when he kissed her mouth.

He could not do as Bella had; he could not use his tongue or linger there for too long for fear of his venom poisoning her. But Jasper needed this. He put pressure against that little bundle of nerves with his mouth, kissing and nuzzling her at the apex of her thighs. It could not last as long as he would've liked, and he could not taste of her save for licking his own lips as he raised up, but as he did run his tongue over his lips he shuddered and sucked in a sharp breath.

Jasper crawled back up over her quickly, and slid into her again, pressing all the way inside of her before her body would have the chance to protest against any absence of attention. He kissed her shoulder all the way up her neck to her ear.

"You're so beautiful.." he whispered against her ear, and slid one arm beneath her to hold her against him as he increased the speed of his hips.

* * *

Whatever pace Bella set, Jasper had matched. Her actions had started off slowly when she'd traced her lips down his body, but when they were moving together, the speed had been more akin to the eagerness they'd shared earlier that day on the couch and when they started to pick up where they left as soon as they were both in her bed. It was more intense, more passionate than any of the times they'd made love to one another thus far. Perhaps part of that had been because of the fact that they had gone without having sex for an extended period of time. The absence worked in their favor. _Everything_ worked in their favor.

Including – to Bella's complete shock (and delight) – the special ending to the spa trip her mother had insisted on. Bella refused to think that this was the reason why her mother scheduled it because the thought was too unnerving to bear, but there was a noticeable difference when Jasper's fingers move to pleasure her again. She failed to notice the first time on account of the fact that she was anticipating having him inside of her that she could hardly be still or think clearly at all until they were fully connected. But after he'd switched their positions, she was able to appreciate the way his fingers moved against her bare skin. The sensation between hot and cold was emphasized due to her spa treatment and she shuddered at the contrast.

But there was no contrast that could have been even compared with what he did next. As she lay on her back, Bella watched him as his lips moved over her body, lower than they'd ever ventured before. It felt like his kisses were hints of snow being littered across her otherwise burning skin. Her stomach muscles contracted when he kissed along them and she thought he was going to linger there. Nothing could have prepared her for what his lips did to follow. They didn't linger; they lowered. When his mouth first connected with her most intimate area, Bella made a sound that could have been an accurate definition of a shriek and a groan. The chill of his lips almost burned like fire against her heat and when he moved them as if he were kissing her normally, Bella honestly felt like she was going to pass out.

"J-Jasper," she moaned, clutching the sheets he'd already torn. With the way she balled them into her fingers, it was a wonder that she didn't rip them even further. He didn't keep his mouth there for long. But he didn't need to. A second would have been all it would have taken in order to have the same earth-shattering effect. Her hips rocked against his lips and with an incredible shudder, she achieved an orgasm unlike any other he'd given her before. And the previous ones had been nothing to scoff at.

She was only just even hinting at coming down from it when she opened her eyes to see him lick his lips. That alone shot a surge of pleasure through her legs and she had to bite her lip to keep it from continuing to quiver. That jolt of pleasure made her aware of the fact that he wasn't inside of her anymore but by the time she could have opened her mouth to say something, his hips were moving into her and he was sliding into her center once more. Her body still felt electrified, but at the same time, the pressure was building when he moved faster. His words sent another chill down her spine and her thighs clenched at the sensation as she groaned in response.

"You…"

She couldn't manage more than that before her sounds just became shallow breaths interspersed with further moaning as they moved together.

* * *

Jasper was trying as hard as he could to be gentle with her, to not clutch her too tightly or move too hard against her. He didn't want to hurt her, or for her to wake up covered in bruises as she had once before. Ever since that morning, he'd always taken great care to be gentle in how he touched her. He did not draw attention to it if he could avoid it, as he knew that Bella did not like feeling as though she was fragile and breakable. This night, however, he was struggling. He wasn't gripping her so as to break any bones, but he was definitely holding onto her more intensely than he usually did. If he sensed for a moment that he was causing her any pain, he would stop no questions asked even if this was the most pleasurable sex they'd ever had. There was a chance that she would wake up with a few bruises this time around, but he would make sure to kiss every single one as he apologized to her for them.

They had certainly explored new levels of intimacy that night. Both had tasted of the other in the most intimate way possible. Jasper had not explored as much as he would have liked, but he knew one day he would get to expand on what he'd just done to her. He'd gotten a small taste, and it was enough to bring him a whole new aspect of desire. He wanted her more than he ever had, and he could sense that what he'd done had brought her tremendous amounts of pleasure. So much so that he felt her peak just before he entered her again. As soon as he'd pressed into her, he felt her tighten around him from the after effects of that climax, which nearly brought about his own. But he was intent on bringing her another sweet release before he had his.

Jasper rolled his hips up into her, knowing full well that she'd be extra sensitive to his touch now that she'd just had her orgasm. He was so, so close to his. His hips started to involuntarily move a bit harder against hers. He knew he wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer.

"Belle.. I'm.."

He couldn't form words any longer after that. He kept his arm around her, holding her close while the other anchored him to the bed. His fingers curled around the sheets again and he clutched her closer. He did not conceal his pleasure from her, letting it roll off of him and surround her so she would know just how much she was pleasuring him all the while. He lost himself in her, the knot in his stomach coming undone. The muscles there contracted, then released and his orgasm took control of his body. He shredded the sheets and held onto her, moaning into her hair as his hips moved against hers even faster, more desperately as pleasure-filled waves washed over him and into her. He could only hope she would reach her peak again by the time he finished.

* * *

Bella was going to have bruises the next morning. It was just a fact. It wasn't Jasper's doing though - it was most assuredly her own. When he moved his hips harder against her, she made sure that each time, she met him half way. It was something she couldn't control. Her body was involuntarily moving, propelled by the desire that surrounded the two of them. It was unbelievably intense and he was making no move to hide it either which only reflected off of Bella's own. She didn't feel any pain though from the movements, the way her softer body collided with his marble-like frame repeatedly. All she could feel was pleasure. If she had bruises the next day, she would wear them proudly. In a sick way, she almost would have been pleased to know she acquired some. It would be a physical, visible memory of this experience and it was one she was keen on never forgetting.

Jasper was going to achieve his goal of bringing her to a climax more than once that night. She could already feel the intensity of her pleasure building again. They'd never continued to be intimate much longer after both of them achieved their orgasms and so the sensation of just having experienced one already and then being on steady course for the next was another new occurrence. She was sensitive, but it wasn't at all painful or uncomfortable by any means. It was a different sort or feeling than she just felt. This was more familiar, a tightening of the muscles in her core that she had experienced before. When he tasted her, it had been a new experience altogether. A wonderful one, yes. But new. This one was something she had become accustomed to as he managed to bring her to this peak each time they were sexually intimate. Bella knew she was close to achieving that peak, but when he'd reached his own, there was no delay in that her second orgasm was close to follow.

It was a good thing that they were the only two in the house. Otherwise, she would have woken everyone up with her sounds. Bella had never been particularly loud or even very vocal when they'd made love to one another before, but her body felt as if it were on fire this particular time, partially because she was still burning from what his mouth had been capable of doing. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades and her hips thrust upward against his to ride out the waves of pleasure only half-seconds after he came himself.

Afterward, Bella could not move. The only movements she was capable of very those that were involuntary. Her chest, for example, was rapidly rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath. Her heartbeat was positively spastic. But her limbs were heavy, lethargic. She was utterly spent, even worse than she normally was when they exerted themselves in this manner. More than anything, she wanted to speak, tell him how much she loved him. But she couldn't even move her lips to form words. They could only gasp for air.

Vampires didn't get tired. They had an unlimited amount of energy that could not be tapped out. But right now, Jasper felt whatever the equivalent to being tired was to a vampire. Part of him wondered if maybe what he was feeling was Bella's exhaustion, and not his own since it shouldn't have been possible for him to be so tired. All he wanted to do was collapse on the bed, but that would mean crushing Bella under his weight and he wasn't about to do that.

Jasper kept his arm beneath her so he could gently lay her down on the mattress and her head on the pillow. Slowly, he slid his arm from under her and then rolled over onto his back next to her, looking up at the ceiling for a moment as he came back down to earth after that world-stopping orgasm he just had. His ears were still ringing from Bella's cries, which had been the icing on an already delicious cake. He was feeling very well spent, to the point that he was smiling as he was laying there.

There was a void, though. One of the only downsides to their connection - especially while making love - was that when they weren't touching, or they were separated in some form, it physically hurt him. When they weren't touching, there was an emptiness inside of him, a tiny hole in his heart that only she could refill. He had to be touching her. Jasper gently pulled her to him, turning his head to rest against the top of hers. That was much better. He could take in her scent and the familiar warmth of her body this way. It was a bit discomforting to feel her heart racing in such an uneven pattern, but he was coping well with it and simply indulging in being close to her again.

"I love you so much," he whispered, and kissed the top of her head, nuzzling there just after. "More than life, Belle."

* * *

Bella understood that feeling regarding a void in her heart that could only be remedied by one other person. Whenever they were separated, she could feel it. Even if she knew they would be together again soon and thus, there was no need for discomfort, she still hated it when they were apart in the sense that she felt incomplete. Without Jasper, she always would be. He was the other half to her soul, her heart. He was the other half of _her_. She couldn't exist without him. It was that simple.

She wanted to curl her body into his, snuggle up against him but she literally could not move on her own. When he pulled her to him, her body allowed it, but it was not a voluntary thing on her part and thus, she was happy that he needed to be close to her too. Still, as tired as she was, she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep – no matter how exhausted – if she wasn't closer to him, physically able to feel his presence. With the very little strength she had left, she slung her arm across his torso and laid her head against his shoulder, nuzzling her flushed cheek against his cool skin. When he spoke, she attempted to return the gesture.

"Mm… love you, soldier…" she murmured almost unintelligibly, affectionately referring to him as she sometimes did when they were joking around and she referenced his prominent past. Her eyelids were far too heavy to keep open anymore.

It still took her a few minutes to actually fall asleep. That was on account of the fact that her breathing needed to settle down as well as the beat of her heart. Both managed in time and returned to a normal, healthy pace. When that occurred, Bella was asleep. Her body was immobile, securely attached to his with her arm still in place around his chest and her face still resting near the crook of his neck. Her lips were parted slightly as she rested, warm breaths tickling his skin as she dreamt. It was rare that Bella forgot her dreams when they were always so vivid, but she wouldn't be able to recall what she dreamt about the next morning, only that it involved Jasper and it was nothing unpleasant in the least.

* * *

It wasn't that surprising that Bella didn't wake as early as she normally would have the next morning. While she was typically a morning person, it wouldn't appear that way on this particular day. The brunette was too comfortable and her body was still in need of restoration and recovery from making love with Jasper the night before for her to wake. She was oblivious to the fact that her mother burst into the room the next morning, unannounced of course, carrying a breakfast tray full of food items.

"Good morning!" Renee said loudly, lowering her tone once she saw that her daughter was still slumbering. She normally wouldn't have cared and just woke her up anyway. But she liked seeing the way Bella was close to Jasper and it would have appeared that her idea of their night went exactly as she hoped once she and Phil went to the movies.

"Ohh," she said, dramatically hushing her voice as she spoke to Jasper. "Sorry! I brought you kids food! I didn't know what you liked, Jasper so I brought a little of everything."

Renee was closer to Jasper's side of the bed than was probably appropriate and it was clear she was hoping to get another view like she did in the shower. For now though, she was satisfied with seeing various clothes items strewn about the bedroom floor.

"Did you kids have a good time?" she asked, sitting herself on the edge of the bed as if she were conversing about something as normal as going out for dinner or taking a walk.

* * *

Jasper loved to watch Bella sleep. There were times when he wished he could join her, and see whatever dreams she was having. Most of the time, though, he was happy to watch as she succumbed to slumber. It meant a lot to him that she felt so comfortable with him and trusted him enough to sleep next to him. Being asleep left her as vulnerable as she possibly could be and she felt safe enough with him to allow herself to slip into that state of vulnerability. Jasper loved that, and he loved being her protector. He would keep the bad dreams away, and calm her should she stir.

Throughout the night, he held her close to him. He took care of her, cradled her, caressed her, kissed her. He wanted her to feel loved the entire time she slept. And though she'd nestled herself against him, he did end up moving her a little. It wasn't because he wanted to, and he knew she'd subconsciously protest, but he had to. If he'd let her stay pressed against him all night while she was nude, she'd surely catch a cold. Her body was feverish when she fell asleep because of what they'd engaged in before she fell asleep. Once she'd cooled down after being against him for a while, he had to shift her. Though she fought him a little, he managed to lift her enough that he could get his t-shirt on over her head and he tucked the comforter around her before he let her curl up against him again and hold onto him. Jasper wrapped his arms around her once more now that she'd be able to maintain her warmth, and kept his gaze on her the rest of the night.

Morning arrived, but Bella did not wake. She was still sleeping soundly as the sun rose, and Jasper was more than content to continue to lay with her. He heard Phil leave for morning practice, and he heard Renee moving around downstairs in the kitchen. Weird smells that would have been appetizing to any human eventually invaded his nostrils and not long after he heard her coming up the stairs. He did not want to wake Bella before she was ready, so he kept the covers up over his waist and hoped that would be enough to keep Renee from prying too much. Their clothes were scattered all over the room but there was little that could be done to fix that now. From what he knew about Renee's thoughts on the matter, he didn't think she'd care. Or in fact, she'd applaud them.

Jasper made no move to let Bella go even when Renee burst into the room. He wanted Renee to see how he cared for her, how he would always treat her so tenderly. He lightly stroked Bella's back, and smiled at Renee.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, letting his accent and southern charm fill the air. "And thank you, I'm sure Belle will be hungry when she wakes."

* * *

When Bella started to wake, she stirred slowly. As her consciousness just started to reach her, the first thing she realized was that her arms were still securely around Jasper. His statuesque form was still against hers. A smile touched her lips at the realization and they turned upward slightly before pressing against the cold column of his neck. "Hi," she whispered sleepily, cuddling him closer to her as she blinked her eyes open, a smile still on her face when she remembered that the greeting was the same in which had kicked off their night of passion the night before. Just a simple hello.

As soon as eyes were open, however, Bella's demeanor did a complete turnaround.

"_Mom_?!" she cried, immediately sitting up too quickly in her shock at seeing the bright-faced woman sitting on she and Jasper's bed, a broad smile plastered across her lips.

A split second later, Bella moved her hands to her chest, eyes widening as she attempted to cover up her very naked body… only to find that it wasn't so naked after all. Her fingers touched fabric and her panicked eyes averted downward to take in the oversized white shirt that she was sure she hadn't fallen asleep in. It wasn't the fit of it, but rather the scent that allowed her to know exactly whose it was and how it got there. A look was cast at him in confusion for a moment in reference to how it got there when she didn't remember ever waking up enough for him to dress her, but that looked then turned to one of gratitude. She didn't know what her mother was doing in her room, on her bed, but it would have been infinitely worse if she was naked.

"Mom, what are you doing?" she groaned, lifting a hand to run through her messy hair, noting her limbs still feeling heavy despite being fairly well rested.

Renee's expression then changed to one of a wounded puppy with her large brown eyes and a frown turning down the corners of her mouth. It was a trick and one that Bella knew well, but it always seemed to work.

"I was just bringing you lovebirds some breakfast," she said innocently. "I brought your favorite, Bunny!" she said, missing the way Bella cringed at Renee's sporadic use of 'pet' pet names. "Peanut butter toast and banana!" she said, referring to the breakfast that Bella would eat daily for a good seven years straight.

Bella sighed. "Mom, thank you. I love it. Really. But do you think maybe Jasper and I can have some alone time this morning while we eat?" she asked. Maybe if she was more blunt, it would get to Renee. "We'll be out soon," she added in case her mother thought she wouldn't see either of them all day. Renee wouldn't have minded if they _did_ stay in bed all day. She just wanted the details of it.

"No no," she said, standing and dancing toward the door. "You take your time," she insisted before disappearing. "I'll close this," she added with a wink before she disappeared into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

Bella sighed again and looked up as Jasper, wrapping her arms around him again. "I'm sorry," she apologized.

* * *

As she stirred, Jasper smiled and knew she would be awakening soon. He was very accustomed to how Bella moved and the sounds she made just before she returned to consciousness. When Bella first woke up, it was one of Jasper's favorite moments of the day. She was usually still a bit incoherent, in a dreamlike state, and always very loving and affectionate. Her body always seemed softer, warmer than usual when she awakened, and he loved to rouse her with kisses and caresses to lure her back to him from her slumber.

With Renee sitting on the bed rather close to him, that made the morning routine a little more difficult. When Bella awoke, she acted as she usually did at first. Then realization struck that there was a third person, her mother, on the bed with them. Jasper wasn't sure he'd ever seen Bella move so quickly, save for perhaps when she fell off of him from the couch before when Renee walked in on them. She jumped up, then remembered she'd been naked when she fell asleep and tried to cover up, upon discovering she already was. Jasper just sat there quietly and smiled. He couldn't exactly move because unlike Bella, he was still very naked under the sheets.

He stayed quiet as Renee and Bella had an exchange of words, about breakfast and needing time alone. He almost felt a little bad for not having Renee stay and eat with them, but then he remembered once again that he was naked, and that while Bella had his shirt on, she was very exposed beneath it. Jasper thanked Renee again for bringing them breakfast in bed and sighed when she walked out. His smile returned as Bella wrapped her arms around him.

"For what? I like your mother. She's very entertaining. And she loves you very much. She's happy for you." Jasper stroked her long dark hair and slid her arm around her back to hold her close. "We'll be leaving soon. Are you sad to go?"

* * *

Bella had been trying to avoid that part of their trip – thinking about the significance. Yes, it was wonderful to see her mother and Phil again after so many months away from them, but this wasn't just like any normal visit. The past year had been difficult for Renee in terms of losing her daughter yet again. After the incidents in Volterra, Bella had gone home to Jacksonville for what everyone thought would be for good. Her mother had been included in this majority and truth be told, so had Bella. But when she needed to go back to Forks, her mother had to say goodbye to Bella again instead of making her a permanent feature in the Dwyer home as she would have liked.

Before, Renee didn't understand why Bella would want to go back. She had been so miserable, even when she first arrived back in the rainy town with her father. Her mother supported her decisions and wanted her to make them for herself, but more than anything, Renee wanted Bella to be _happy_. It didn't matter how inappropriate or unorthodox she had a tendency of being at times; when it came to Bella, Renee's love was unconditional and would always come first. Bella never was allowed to forget that as her mother did her best to make sure she knew that she was loved and that no matter where she decided to live, she always _would_ be, as well as have the support of she and Phil. That was why there hadn't been much protest when Bella had announced that she'd chosen a college that was far north, thousands and thousands of miles away from Florida. Renee wished she would have chosen closer to home – either home, truth be told – but it was ultimately Bella's choice.

When Jasper asked her if she was sad to be leaving, everything about her expression showed that she honestly was. Nodding, she looked up at him with sad eyes. "It's going to be harder than I thought to leave her," she said quietly.

Her soft tone wasn't on account of the fact that there was a chance her mother could hear if she were still near by the room, but rather because the subject matter was difficult. She felt guilty for insisting that she and Jasper have so much private time together when she should have really been cherishing that time with her mother. It would be a long time until she would be allowed to see her again once the transformation took place. That was heartbreaking. It was something they'd acknowledged as soon as she stated that she wished to be changed, but that didn't make it any easier. While it was sad, it did make her more determined more than anything else to do her best to cope with the changes she would be undergoing. She might not be able to see her mother for a long time, but she sincerely hoped that she would at least be able to contact her, hear her voice, write to her – anything that would help the distance. And she knew Jasper would help her through it no matter what. She was lucky to have him.

Bella was quiet for a few minutes, occasionally kissing his shoulder or the side of his neck to let him know that she was all right. She was just trying to settle all the thoughts running through her head, mainly by filtering out the more negative ones.

"She likes you too," she said finally. "Not just because of this," she said, running her hand down his bare chest, a half smile touching her lips. "But she really likes you. She's happy you're going to be a part of the family."

And that was the truth. Anyone could see it in the way she reacted with him during dinner or when they were all watching television or just being in one another's presence – Renee more than approved of the sweet, Southern gentleman that stole her daughter's heart. He was someone that had charisma, an automatic pull to him and Renee liked the way he was so protective and thoughtful of her daughter. More than anything, that was what she wanted, especially in Bella's future husband. He wasn't young and reckless, but rather, had a good head on his shoulders. That was enough to sway Renee's ideas of getting married at their age. It wasn't the age; it was the couple. Bella could see that her perspective had changed.

"Not just anyone could make her that excited about me getting married when I'm still a teenager," she said. "I admit. I was thrown off when she reacted so well to the idea."

* * *

Jasper felt a little guilty about asking her if she was sad to leave. He didn't want their time here to take a downward turn. He just felt that it would be better if she addressed these feelings now, rather than when they were actually leaving so that her departure from Jacksonville would be a little easier. She could enjoy the time she had left here with her mother to the fullest, rather than praying the clock would stop ticking so that she wouldn't have to leave. He lightly stroked her arm and side as she thought this over and replied to him, occasionally kissing the top of her head as well.

"I'm glad she likes me," he said, smirking a bit. "I like her too. She's endearing, and she says what she thinks. I like that. She sort of reminds me of Emmett, so it's almost like I never left home." He chuckled softly and kissed her forehead. "I'm sure they'll get along when they meet." Which.. would be at their wedding. Perhaps before, if Renee wanted to make visits in order to help Esme with preparations.

"She can visit us, Bella. This isn't goodbye forever."

He could feel her sadness, her wariness about how she might not see Renee again for a long time. That.. was probably going to be true, but he also knew that once she was a vampire - especially a newborn - the time would pass quickly, as if she never even noticed a day ticking by. That concept would be difficult for her to understand now, but she would someday. With his help, it might be sooner rather than later that she was reunited with her mother. He could keep her calm, distract her from her thirst. But that was an obstacle they would tackle when they reached it. He did not want her to focus on that right now. They still had time left in Jacksonville and he wanted her to have a good time.

"Sometimes it's hard for me to remember how young you are, Bella. I know I go through life living the same few years over and over again, and in body I am the same age as you, but sometimes I still forget that you haven't been doing the same thing. That's why I really do mean it when I say I'm not opposed to a long engagement. I've said this before, but I think it's worth repeating. There is so much of the world left for you to see, and I would never come between you and your ambitions. You've been thrown into this bizarre other world that I live in, but you don't have to shut out the world you knew before."

Jasper smiled at her, then, and kissed her cheek. "Why don't we go out with Renee and Phil tonight?" He suggested. "We can go to dinner, maybe walk on the beach or go swimming. I think she'd like that."

* * *

It was almost as if Jasper could read Bella's thoughts. He couldn't, but he _could_ read her emotions and that was probably more telling than what she was actually experiencing as it ran through her mind. He knew why she felt sad. He knew why she was worrying and why her demeanor had changed slightly. When he assured her that it would not be goodbye forever, she nuzzled closer into his chest. She knew that, and she knew that with his help and the rest of the Cullen family's support, she would be able to cope with the truth when it was hard. He stated that time wouldn't feel the same for her. She understood that.

But time would always feel the same for Renee. And for Charlie. To them, it would seem longer even, the longer they went without seeing their only child. And when they did see her, what would they say when she didn't look any older? Any different besides the fact that she would appear to be beautiful? Beautiful, but young. What would they say when they were in their sixties and Bella was still in her teens?

She didn't ask him these things now. But she would. The wedding that would end the long engagement he spoke of was one of the times when her parents would need to be there and neither of them would think nothing of the lack of change in their daughter as far as age was concerned. Or with the rest of the Cullen's for that matter. But Bella didn't need a long engagement for any other reason than to deal with her transformation and gain control enough to be safe.

"The only thing I care about is being with you," she said. "It wasn't as if I had a long list of goals I needed to accomplish before I was married. I'll still be able to do them afterwards. Just… I'll have you with me too. That's what I want more than anything," she said truthfully. "The world I had before didn't have much to shut out. It just existed without much passion," she said with a shrug.

When he suggested that they all go out together tonight, the two of them with Renee and Phil, she caught his smile and gave him one of her own. "They'd love that," she said, nodding. "I would too."

It didn't matter what they did. Just being together was the best way to spend their remaining time in Jacksonville. She made sure that the rest _of_ that time was devoted to making her mother and her step-father happy and simply enjoying their presence while with Jasper. That was the best way to say goodbye.

Goodbye for now, anyway.

* * *

****Very Important Author's Note:** **As we mentioned in our last note, we were going to make this two chapter rather than one for how long it was. But we decided against it for two reasons. The first was because it was hard to find a good place to divide the chapter. But the second was because of some of the messages we have been getting lately regarding the writing style of our story.

Everyone knows that stories will always have critics and we welcome constructive criticism. But only to an extent. We didn't publish this story to get a million reviews or fan fiction notoriety. We published it because we had a few friends who really wanted to read our writing because they had seen samples and really loved it and the concept of the story. We KNOW that we do not write in normal formatting. We KNOW that the story jumps back and forth between Bella and Jasper and that it can sometimes be confusing. But remember that we roleplayed this writing. It was done in a style that was made to be back and forth. It's not a narrative. Unfortunately, that seems to bother quite a few people. While we completely understand that, it makes us sad to hear that many people criticize it. It's very discouraging to get messages about how disliked the style is

When we first publish Take Me Back to the Start, in Chapter One, we put a disclaimer to explain the format. We also have that in our profile as well. We made it no secret that it was different and not for everyone. So we are asking that if the story isn't for you, just stop reading it. There is no need to message us or comment about improving the way we write or the format of our stories. We wrote them because we love Jasper and Bella. We love the Twilight series. And we love getting into their heads. We wrote them because roleplaying is so much fun and we enjoyed that. Neither one of us are 'authors'. We're players. We brought this writing public because again, we wanted to share it. But like we've said, it's hard to stomach some of the criticism we have been receiving especially lately.

Another thing is the lack of sex in our story.

Sex is a HUGE part of fan fiction. We get that. But again, please keep in mind, we didn't write this story to be on fan fiction. We didn't write it to be published. We do incorporate sex into the storyline and as you can see from the chapter you've just read, we don't fade to black. Some of the chapters in the future are far more risque than you're reading now. But again, it's because we choose to keep the story like this. It's believable. We enjoy PLOT in addition to sex and we've made that known from the start. There are so, so many wonderful sex-based stories on this website alone. If that's what you're after, go for it! But please be nice in your comments.

Remember too, that we aren't actively writing this story. We've written it over the course of years. Constructive criticism in this case won't change the writing since it's already done. We love every single review, comment, or message we receive. We reply to almost all of them as you all know. But again please respect the fact that this story is what it is. Love it or hate it. Continue to read it or don't. We're happy with whatever you decide. But please, be mindful that we didn't publish this to be criticized. We wrote it to share a beautiful story that we love so much and are proud of. Flip-flop writing style and all.

Thanks for reading! Cheers x

Lauren and Lizzy

**Lyrics:** Winter - Joshua Radin


	9. Chapter 9

_I get lost in the beauty_  
_Of everything i see_  
_The world ain't half as bad_  
_As they paint it to be_

_Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud_  
_Until then_  
_Come home, come home ;;_

After saying goodbye to Renee and Phil at the airport, Jasper expected that they'd be checking their bags and heading home to Forks. He had not made these travel arrangements, so he wasn't entirely familiar with the itinerary. Apparently their next destination was Houston, Texas, according to the lady that checked their bags (as she batted her eyelashes flirtatiously at Jasper, though he was oblivious due to his confusion). He didn't think too much of it. Bella had simply said that they were stopping over in Houston, and she'd always wanted to go there so there were arrangements for them to stay over night, then they'd go to Forks the following day. He didn't really question it. Maybe this sort of thing would help her transition into the time difference between Jacksonville and Forks? It obviously didn't affect him, but surely it did Bella. It was also a good thing, because it meant Jasper could hunt that much sooner. There was a wilderness park near their hotel, he found, which was very convenient. Jasper had not hunted for several days, and by this point his eyes had lost all of their golden hue, save for a small ring around the edge of his irises. Once they arrived at the hotel, it was decided that she would get cleaned up and settle in, maybe order some room service, while he went to the park to hunt.

They'd arrived in the morning, Houston time, which gave them the entire day to spend in the city. It was a little weird for him to be in Houston; it was where he'd been born one hundred and sixty three years ago. He did not remember much at all, but even if he did he would not recognize any of it. Houston was not the same city it was in the 1800's, much like the rest of the country. After Jasper returned from hunting, he felt much better. Several days of eating human food had left him craving blood all the more, and having to be crammed on an airplane with a large crowd of people had been a bit.. challenging. He felt fine after his hunt though, and after a quick shower he was feeling even better. As soon as he got out of the shower, he crawled into bed with Bella and they stayed there for a couple of hours, catching up on a little alone time that they'd lacked while in Jacksonville. They couldn't stay in bed all day, though. Bella had specifically stated she wanted to come here, so they needed to actually experience Houston. It was a cloudy day, which made it possible for Jasper to exit the hotel without any fear of the sun coming out.

When they walked down to the car they'd rented for the duration of their short visit, Jasper went to open the passenger door for Bella as he always did, but she plucked the keys out of his hand and moved around to the driver's side. This caused him to raise his eyebrows, but he was not opposed to her driving. They got into the car and she started it up, but did not drive right away. Bella pulled something out of her pocket and promptly tied it around his eyes.

Jasper.. was very confused. He'd protested, questioning it but Bella had simply said she did not want him to see where exactly they were going. This was strange, to say the least. How would he know where they were going anyway, when he didn't recognize anything around them? This was unusual, to say the least.

"How long do I have to wear this?" He asked quietly, his jaw set a little. He didn't mind, if it pleased Bella. But he didn't understand the point.

* * *

It seemed silly, but the surprise trip to Texas had Bella feeling nervous. She had been talking about it with Esme and Carlisle ever since her birthday. She wanted to do something special for Jasper. She wanted to make something all about him, something that he would truly love and appreciate. There had been so much planning going into it and it all had to be done secretly. Such was not an easy thing when Bella spent so much time with Jasper. There were a few times when she told him she was going to spend some time with Angela and would meet Esme somewhere to go over a few things. The timing was right with it being between Christmas and New Year's on the way back from visiting her mother in Florida. She wanted them to experience this together when she was still human. Somehow, she thought it would be more meaningful considering that these were all going to be ties to Jasper's human life.

He had said before that being with her allowed for him to remember things he would have otherwise forgotten. That was something that never left Bella's thoughts. When she was considering giving him something back, she had always wanted to incorporate it to his human life. He was so fixated on the darker parts of his past that he had trouble remembering it wasn't always like that. Jasper had a family and a home. He was loved. He was loved now and would be every single day in the future. Connecting those two halves was something that Bella wanted for him. She hoped that in turn, it would erase the bad memories if there were ones to replace them with while they created new ones in the process.

Everything was in place. She'd arranged their flight change, their hotel, and a rental car so they could get around, especially to their destination. He didn't know much, just that they were going to explore Houston for the night since it was somewhere Bella had always wanted to go. After she'd blindfolded him, she only smiled when he questioned her and shook her head to any and all questions.

"No peeking," she said firmly. "And no using your other senses either," she added. "None of that 'lose one and the other ones get stronger' crap," she said with a smile. She did, however, keep his hand in hers the whole time they were driving until they were on the outskirts of town.

It was more historical in these areas. 'Old Houston' as Esme and all the travel brochures called it. She had gone over the map with the sweet woman so many times that she knew the route by heart. She stopped the car a little ways from their destination. She didn't want to park too far away because she was leading him still blindfolded, but at the same time, she wanted there to be a little distance. Houses and buildings were of a different time, restored to fit more modern terms, but in a way that was still understated. They were sparser than in a modern-day town and the one she was leading him to was one of the furthest on the city outskirts.

There was a quickening of her heart when she could see it come into view. It looked exactly as it had in the picture that Esme had shown her. He would be able to feel her change in heart rate and surely he would know that they were getting close.

When they arrived in front of it, Bella gave Jasper's hand a gentle pull to let him know to stop. "All right," she said grinning. She stood behind him then and stood on her toes to untie the blindfold.

"Welcome home," she whispered near his ear, waiting to gage his reaction when he realized where they were.

* * *

Of all the places that Bella could have taken him, this was not one where he thought they would have ended up. Jasper had been blissfully unaware of Bella's careful planning. She'd managed to conspire with Esme and Carlisle in order to arrange this trip, working around plans he was aware of in order to make it seem as if she had no other intention but to follow them.

Naturally, going to Houston made him think a little about his past. It was where he was born and spent most of his human life. Of course, his memories were few and far between. Most were blurred and only fragments of whole memories. With Bella's help, he was able to remember a few snippets of his life more clearly. Talking about himself (which he really didn't do very often) helped. He could talk through his memories, making them more vivid in his mind. He remembered his mother's face much more clearly than he once did. That was something he held very close to his heart. He would never allow that memory to fade again. Despite thinking about his past, though, he did not think he would ever get to experience looking at it again.

When Bella helped him step out of the car, he felt disoriented. This would've been expected. He had no idea where they were and he could not see. None of the scents he could take in were familiar to him, nor the sounds. He managed not to trip over anything, but he was completely blind to where she was taking him. What he did recognize was the sound of her heart beating faster. She was obviously excited about where they were going, so in his mind he kept trying to think of places she might like that would make her so happy, and nervous. An old fashioned carnival? He didn't hear the sounds of people, music, or rides. He didn't smell any carnival food. A library? He didn't think he'd be walking through grass and uneven ground to get to any sort of establishment. Maybe she was taking him camping? But they had a plane to catch the following day.

All his questions were answered when she stopped him and removed the blindfold. Jasper was very still and quiet as he stared at the old, white house before them. He'd thought this was unfamiliar territory, and in a way it was. The ground had changed, the surroundings were a bit different. But he knew he'd _been here_ before.

Bella's words reached his ears, and realization struck him very hard. This was his home. His childhood home.

It was almost intimidating at first, unreal and dreamlike. He didn't know what to say, what to do. Could they go in? Did someone else live there now? How had she found it in the first place?

Before his words could catch up with his actions, he took a couple of steps forward to where the fence lined the yard. Jasper reached out and touched the faded, weathered wood panels, tracing his fingers over a few of them. It wasn't the same fence he'd put there for his mother before running off to the army, but it was the same design, the same idea.

"Belle.." he breathed out her name so quietly, had she not been close to him she surely would have missed it. "This is.." he swallowed, still lightly running his fingers over the edge of the fence.

"How..? How did you.." his eyes tore away from the house momentarily to look at her. It would have been very evident that she succeeded in her surprise.

She'd left him speechless.

* * *

If Bella could have chosen a reaction for him to have, it would not have compared to actually watching it unfold in front of her eyes. She couldn't have asked for a better one than the one she received upon his realization where they were.

Jasper was always so good with words. It didn't matter how much or how little he used them, they seemed to work out in his favor every time regardless. And so when she witnessed him being speechless, it was very rare. She didn't think she'd actually ever seen him react quite in this way. Of course, he left her speechless more often than she could ever count. It was so nice to be able to return the favor, to do something particularly special for him. There was a time when they were driving that she wondered if he knew where they were going, but it was clear when they arrived that he hadn't had a clue.

For a moment, she didn't speak. She only smiled up at him when he stammered at her. She wanted to preserve that look on his face forever. He looked so vulnerable just then, childlike. It was how he might have been more akin to looking like when he was a child in this house. It was fitting in that respect. She observed the way he gingerly touched the fence as if it brought back a memory at the sight alone. He'd mentioned it to her once and so she knew it was something significant to him.

And that was just the beginning. They hadn't even gone through the fence yet. She was curious to see how his memories would reflect as they explored his childhood home together. Standing on her toes again, she kissed him, smiling against his lips for a moment before taking his hand and leading him through the gate in the fence.

The house was beautiful. She had seen pictures of it of course, thanks to Esme and Carlisle's help and she learned the history behind it after what she'd learned from Jasper. She didn't want to keep him in the dark any longer and she knew he had a lot of unanswered questions so she started from the beginning.

"A few months ago, I had the idea of visiting the place where you grew up. Every time you talked about it, you were so _happy_," she said giving his hand a squeeze. "I knew it would be hard to plan it all without you knowing, so I asked Carlisle and Esme for help. They helped me find out a lot about the location and the history of your old house," she said, leading him up to the porch. "It wasn't easy," she added with a smile. "But Esme was determined and so was I."

Leading him to the porch swing, she gently filled the space, sitting beside him. Bella wanted him to know the story as she'd learned it from their research. She knew the porch swing was another one of his mentioned memories. Pushing the ground with her foot, she rocked the two of them slightly as she went into the story.

"When you went off to war, your mother stayed here," she said. "When she heard you went missing… I guess she didn't have the heart. It was too hard without you. She stayed for a year or two in case you came back. When she couldn't stay, Abigail went to live with her sister – your aunt Evelyn. But she didn't sell the house. She didn't have the heart for that either," she said, gently stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.

"It stayed in the family for years. Abigail only insisted it stay the same. The structure has except for reconstruction to keep it well intact. No one's lived in it for a few years now, but Esme contacted the last occupants and told them she was a distant relative of the original owners and was interested in researching the house. They were all too happy to let her," she said.

She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small object. Turning his hand over, she placed the tiny key in his palm.

* * *

As they walked up the front lawn towards the house, Jasper felt like he was moving back through time. He could remember using a push mower and scythe with his father to keep their lawn tame. He remembered chasing squirrels out of the vegetable garden his mother grew on the side of the house. There had been hours and hours spent painting the house to keep it a vivid white color. Jasper remembered learning all of these things from his father, and then having to undertake them all on his own when he died. He wished he could remember his father's face more clearly, but he was more than grateful for what memories he had regained.

It surprised him that the house was still so well kept. It was much older than he was, and for it to still be standing was a feat in of itself. It shocked him that his house had been maintained. He listened as Bella spoke of her plan, but he was still in shock that they were actually there. He'd thought about returning to the area one day, and had many times over the course of his life. Jasper was ashamed that he had not even considered it when he was a young vampire, as he was all too consumed with violence and fulfilling Maria's desires and conquests to think of anything else. It was during that time that his mother was worrying for him, hoping he would one day return to her unharmed. He couldn't let himself think about that very often, or else it would consume him with grief.

By the time he had regained control of himself to the point that he _did_ think about his mother and returning home to check on her, he was too overwhelmed with shame to do so. It would have been too painful back then, but now, it was something that filled him with joy. He still felt guilty for what he'd done, but after Bella explained to him what had become of his mother, he felt a little better. Learning that she had not been alone for the duration of her life made it a little easier to think about.

Sitting in the swing brought back a slew of memories. While it was not the exact swing, he could still remember countless hours sitting out here, both with his mother and alone. Abigail would make lemonade, and the two of them would sit on the swing while she taught him lessons, read to him, and the two would speak of all subjects. There were many afternoons spent reading on his own out there as well. It was easily his favorite part of the house. Never in his wildest dreams did he even begin to think he could one day share this place with Bella. The fact that she'd done this for him, that they could be here together meant so much to him. Jasper was truly touched, his heart filling with a joy he never thought he'd be able to experience.

He held the key gently, almost as if he was afraid he'd break it. His eyes were still wide with wonder; it was like they were unlocking the doors to a different time. Jasper made no move to get up just yet. He closed his fingers around the key to keep it safe, but with his other hand he lightly cupped her cheek. He looked into her eyes for a long, quiet moment. Delicately, he kissed her lips.

"I always wanted to kiss my sweetheart on this swing," he said, smiling at her. He brushed her cheek lightly with his fingertips. "Thank you."

* * *

The most amazing thing about the house was how similar the outside looked to that of the one that Bella had been in when she was having her sepia-toned dream. It had the same fence, the same porch, the same windows. It was like she already knew it aside from something that was just in Jasper's memories and story-telling alone. Then again, without his tales about his childhood home and his other, Bella's vision of it probably would not have been so accurate. But either way, she always loved that dream. She didn't have it nearly as often as she'd dreamt of daffodils, but the once or twice that she did experience it brought a smile to her face.

She could never get that expression out of her head – the way he looked at her in the rain. Such also reminded her of their reunion at the fairgrounds after they'd been apart and suffered a rift in their relationship. It was right before they ran off together and yet another happy memory for her, even if it was somewhat bittersweet at the time.

This would be another one of her happy memories. Her heart literally skipped a beat – or two – when he confessed that he had always wanted to kiss the girl that he was sweet on while they were on that porch swing. He never had before he went off to war and surely back then, Bella hadn't even been a thought in the world yet. Even her grandparents weren't a thought. And yet somehow, that very same boy who imagined kissing his sweetheart on that swing over a century before was sitting there with her now.

Bella. His sweetheart.

There were so many things she wanted to show him. Esme didn't tell her much about the inside of the house, but somehow, Bella preferred it that way. They could go through it and experience it all together. She could literally witness the expressions change on his face as his memories came back to him. And she hoped they would come. She hoped that being surrounded by and old, but somewhat familiar place, would allow him to have not only a closer tie with his past, but with his mother as well. She knew how much he missed her, even now. Especially with how things had turned out.

She didn't want to rush him though. They had all day to do as they pleased. They could stay however long he wanted to. They could do whatever he desired. This trip was about him. Bella was happy to give that to him. "You deserve this," she said in response to him thanking her. Her hand lifted, too, to brush against his cheek. She leaned forward to kiss the other one and then press a brief, but soft kiss to his lips.

"Are you ready to see the inside?" she asked with a smile.

* * *

This situation was all very surreal for Jasper. He had thought back on his home several times over the course of his long life, but actually being there was a whole new rush of emotions for him. Up until Bella took the blindfold off and the realization of where they were actually hit him, he had not even realized his childhood home was still standing. It was especially surprising to learn that it had been kept up with and restored over the years. Why? He did not realize that to Civil War buffs, especially those interested in the Confederacy, that he was a person of interest. Certainly not as well known as some key figures in their country's history, but he had unknowingly made a name for himself through his noble deeds during his stint in the army.

Was he ready to go inside?

That was actually more of a weighted question than Bella probably even realized. Yes, he was, but he was nervous. It felt like he was looking into someone else's life rather than his own. Though everything felt familiar to him, he was a very different person than he once was. He'd carried over many of his human traits into his life as a vampire, but he was just that - a vampire. He'd gone through so much since the last time he left this house. Just staring at the front door from his seat on the swing, he could see himself walking out with a satchel over his shoulder, his mother in tow. She dried her tears with a handkerchief, he remembered, and saw him off with a smile after telling him how proud she was. It was a bittersweet memory, but one he was glad to have regained.

"Yes," he replied, nodding to her.

Intimidating and overwhelming as it might have been, he wasn't alone. Having Bella there was a source of calm for him. It also meant a lot for him to be able to share and live these memories with her. She'd shown a great deal of interest in his human life, so he hoped this would be a good experience for her, too. Jasper held her hand, and stood up slowly so as not to rock the swing too much. He led her to the door and hesitated before putting the key into the lock. He turned it, and pushed the door open. He let Bella walk in first, holding the door for her, then followed her in and closed it behind them. The front room was small, with minimal decor and a staircase leading to the bedrooms on the second floor.

"Mama kept flowers, just there," he said, nodding to the small table against the wall.

He kept hold of her hand and walked through the front room to the kitchen. The appliances had been updated, of course, but the shape and arrangement was all the same, from what he could remember. "She'd bake a pie every Sunday," he said, smiling fondly at the memory. "She'd set it on the window when it was finished, and call Dad and I inside from working in the yard. Sometimes I'd be late from walking a girl home from Sunday school. She'd always tease me that there wasn't any left, but then she'd take it out of the oven where she'd kept it warm for me."

Jasper could remember his mother's face, spotted with flour after baking all day, a bit of cherry, raspberry, or apple on her apron from working with the filling. He could almost remember how they tasted. Almost.

* * *

It seemed liked Bella's hopes were being met in regard to the house bringing back memories for Jasper of his human life. She knew how important something like closure was. When he never returned to see what happened to the house or to his mother after he was changed and swept up with Maria and her newborns, he never received that closure. It was a sense of unknowing that could drive even the sanest person crazy. But now it seemed like he would have some sort of understanding in knowing the truth that his childhood home still existed and still in a way that was capable of allowing him to remember what it was like when he was still living in it.

She smiled as he told her about the flowers his mother kept on the small table and immediately her mind flickered to a thought that had her questioning what kind they were. Maybe they were daffodils.

An eyebrow lifted when he spoke of missing out on fresh baked pie on account of walking the girls home from Sunday school. "What did I tell you before about being a heartbreaker?" she said, giving his hand a squeeze.

She remembered joking about that with him before. She also remembered being told that his Southern charm melted all the girls' hearts – and being well kissed as she was being informed of this fact.

As they were leaving the kitchen to move on to the rest of the house, she paused in the doorway. "What's this?" she asked, leaning forward and squinting her eyes to look.

There were several marks in the wood on one of the sides of the door frame. Even though it was clear the wood had been refinished and smoothed over the years otherwise, the marks were still definitely visible and deep-set in the wood as if they had been carved there. There was no pattern, just spaces between them, ranging in size between the gaps. The lowest one was near her knees and the tallest reached above her head so that she had to lift her free hand up in order to touch it.

* * *

It was amazing to him just how being within these rooms again could unlock so many memories. They were not intricately detailed, just glimpses, but they were enough to give him a clearer picture of the life he'd been forced to leave behind so many years ago. It was more than he ever could have asked for and never expected to find again. He was living quite a different life now, that couldn't really even compare to his human life. The only parallel he could really draw was how he'd been so close to his human mother, and how close he was to Esme now. That must've been why he'd taken to her so much more quickly than the others when he'd met the Cullens. Everything else, very different. His life had been very simple back then. Much more complicated now. But both were good. He had been happy back then, and he was happy now, despite the complexities. Most of his happiness revolved around Bella, and _that_ was simple, effortless.

He turned to look at what she was examining, and smirked. That was a fond memory, too. It had been a little embarrassing as he got older, but something that his mother had taken great joy in documenting.

"I'll show you," he said, and moved to stand next to where the lines had been carved into the door frame. The top line stopped right at the top of his head. "It's a height chart," he said, though she probably would have figured it out just by him standing there. "I think Mama started it when I started it when I was about two years old. By the end of it she had to stand on a chair."

After they'd thoroughly checked out the kitchen, Jasper took her hand again and walked with her into the living room. It wasn't large, but it was probably was the biggest room in the house. There were many bookshelves, they were all empty. Jasper had hoped that there would've been some of his old books still within the shelves, but he hadn't expected them to be. They would be very valuable by now, and most likely had been sold, donated, or were being preserved in a much safer place.

"These are the bookshelves my father built," he said, his eyes widening a bit in wonder. He turned to the fireplace. "There was a rocking chair, right there," he said, pointing. "He'd tell me stories, and Mama would be there too. We'd read books, and during the winter he'd light a fire." Then, he turned towards a corner in the room. "This was where we put our Christmas tree. We'd cut one down every year. Mama would decorate it."

Jasper turned to her, and smiled. "I never would've been able to take a girl upstairs back then, but, do you want to go up there now?"

* * *

A height chart. She never would have thought of that unless he pointed it out to her and explained the reasons for the strange markings in the door frame. She watched as the tallest one matched him perfectly. She tried to imagine when it was made, the image of his mother having to stand on a chair in order to even make the mark. That was the last one. But the first ones near her knees also spread warmth through her heart as she leaned down to brush her fingers along them. She wished she could have seen what Jasper looked like when he was young, but she imagined that he was a sweet-looking child, especially with that smile of his and the way his blonde curls framed his face.

Reaching up she tugged one of those curls gently now before brushing it away from his forehead. "You've definitely grown up," she said with a smile.

She loved listening to him talk about everything as they moved through the rooms. She couldn't have asked for a better outcome to this trip. What she wanted to accomplish had been giving him some of his memories back and as he told her the stories about his family when he was younger and growing up in this house, it seemed like she had done that. Even one more memory added to his scarce collection of human occurrences would be an accomplishment. She hoped it could help to replace the bad ones that came after he was changed so unexpectedly and suffered through the decades with Maria's cruelty and cold heart.

His memories weren't just of his mother either, but his father as well. That was something that Bella was happy for. She tried to imagine how hard it would have been to lose one of her parents and no matter what she thought, she knew it wouldn't compare to the actual loss. But the things he was recalling were happy of both his father and his mother. She was so glad to be able to be there while he touched upon them.

Grinning, she lifted an eyebrow at him. "I consider myself lucky to be the first to help you break the rules," she said, following up the steps.

* * *

Jasper laughed softly. "Yes, I guess I have grown. I was a strange child. My mouth was a little large for my face. My.. grandmother used to worry about that when I was growing up. She also thought I looked 'to pretty to be a boy' because of my hair."

He blinked, realizing he'd just recalled the older woman.

"Wow, I never thought I'd remember her." He laughed a little and shook his head. "It's amazing, being here." He slid his arms around her as they stood at the bottom of the stairs. "Thank you, Belle," he said softly, pressing his lips against her forehead. "I can't tell you how much this means to me. This is the most amazing gift I've ever received."

It was more important to him than any car, trip, expensive clothes, house, or any of the luxuries he'd been gifted from his family's wealth. This gift truly came from her heart, and it gave him a part of himself he never thought he'd see again. He was truly touched, and she'd be able to feel that coming from him.

He grinned back at her, a beautiful sideways smile, as he led her up the steps. He brushed his thumb against the side of her hand as they made the short journey. The steps creaked a little, announcing their age. "We always had to fix this banister," he recalled fondly as they reached the top.

There wasn't much to the second floor. There was a small hall way that split off into three rooms. One was his parents' bedroom, and one was a bathroom with an old fashioned bathtub inside of it. The last room had been his. He led Bella down the hall to the door and paused for just a moment before opening it and stepping inside.

The room had a window that overlooked the yard. The bed wasn't his, but it looked similar. "The bed is in the same place where mine was," he explained, running his free hand over the blanket on top of the mattress. There was a mirror in the corner, and a dresser on the other wall. "That dresser was mine," he said, noting that the handle on the third left drawer was missing.

He'd pulled it off by accident once and not bothered to replace it. Something on top of it caught his eye, however. There was a small wooden box on top of it, with a piece of paper resting on it. "What's that?" he asked.

He gently released her hand and walked a few paces to the other side of the room, picking up the paper. He scanned it quickly, soaking in its contents. It had been written by the current owners of the home. This box was found beneath a loose floorboard in this bedroom, its contents untouched. They felt it should be given to a descendant of the family. The paper fell from his hands, floating to the floor with ease. His golden eyes widened as he stared at the small box. The initials A. E. W. had been carved into it.

"T-This.. was my mother's."

* * *

It was one thing to see his reactions to his memories, but it was different still to actually hear how grateful he was to be having them. When he wrapped his arms around her and brushed his lips against her skin, she could _feel_ his gratitude more than anything. For a moment, she just held him. Even when he went to let her go, Bella lingered just a second more holding onto him. She tried to ignore the fact that she felt a little weak in the knees when he flashed her that smile. He had no idea what he was capable of doing to her even when he wasn't trying. Just a natural twitch of his mouth was enough to cause her heart to flutter.

She forced it to settle though and instead focused on everything he was telling her. She was excited to see his room, see the place where he used to sleep when he was still able to do so.

"Your bed," she said, marveling over this and running her fingers along the top covers as he had done. "It would have been fun to be able to watch _you_ sleep at night," she said fondly, recalling how he always claimed that he enjoyed watching her as she slept.

She couldn't imagine why. Bella figured it would either be extremely boring or else odd. But when she thought about watching Jasper, she knew it would be impossible for the experience to be either of those things. She could watch him for hours on end, even if he didn't move a muscle. He would still mesmerize her.

When he noted the box, she followed him to it, brow furrowing at the way he reacted. Leaning down, she picked up the note he let flutter to the floor to read over it in order to gain some clarity on the matter. Esme hadn't told her about the box. She wondered if Esme even knew about it herself. Bella imagined she did, but it seemed very characteristic of her to let it remain a surprise until the two of them were there together. Bella was surprised for certain and Jasper's reaction was utter speechlessness almost. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and kissed his shoulder before resting her chin on it to peer down at the initialed keepsake.

"Open it," she encouraged quietly.

* * *

He touched the edges of the box so very delicately, scared he would break it if he applied anymore pressure to it. This had belonged to his _mother_. He remembered this item; she used to keep it on her dresser in her bedroom. She would put various keepsakes in it every now and then. It was a special box. He'd never looked in it before, but he remembered as a child when he'd find things... a rock, a leaf, or if he'd draw her a picture.. anything at all, she'd place it in there if he asked. Jasper wasn't sure what the last items were that she kept in there. He almost felt as if he was invading his mother's privacy by opening it, but he did truly want to know what the last items were that she kept in there.

Carefully, he pulled the small silver latch on the box up and lifted the top half up. Inside were treasure that his mother had left behind, possibly for him. Knowing that she'd left the box under the floor board, he couldn't help but wonder if she thought there might have been hope he would come home one day. He had, hadn't he...? A century too late, but he was there now, looking at what she'd wanted him to see.

Resting on top was a photograph. It was faded, but because it had been kept in an airtight box, away from the elements, the picture was still fairly clear. It was of him as a young child. No more than two or three. Light colored curls had already grown in, and he was smiling in the photograph. _Jasper Monroe, 1846_ was written in small, but beautiful script handwriting across the bottom.

Jasper handed the photograph to Bella and smirked. "I don't know, I think I looked better back then."

He turned back to the box's contents then, examining what else was in there. He recognized the necklace; it was a very dainty, antique cameo necklace with a white butterfly on the pendant. His mother wore it for special occasions, he remembered. There was a man's ring in there, and he instantly knew it was his father's wedding band.

He smiled, though the next item he pulled out gave him bittersweet feelings. His army tags. Their weight was all too familiar. Inscribed on the tag was _Major Jasper Monroe Whitlock_ and his number and information. He could only imagine his mother's reaction when they were brought to her with the news that he'd gone missing in action, only his tags being found at his last known location. At least he knew that she'd gone to live with her sister. That was a comfort to him.

He placed the rest of it back in the box. There was another silver item in there but it was far too delicate for him to touch and so he left it for now. Instead, he found a folded up piece of paper which he removed. There was a sketch, of all things, a daffodil with his signature beneath it. "I sketched this," he said. "I can't believe she kept it." He smiled at Bella, any feelings of sadness disappearing.

"Think Esme would hang it on the refrigerator?"

* * *

When Jasper started going through the box, Bella let go of him in order to move to his side to get a better view of what he was uncovering. She was fascinated which each item he produced. The first had been the picture of him as a child. Bella had tried to imagine what he would have looked like when he was younger – especially after she saw the marks in the doorway to indicate his height chart and she caught sight of how little he had been at one point. In the photograph, he looked a lot like she would have pictured, but the smile of his face was still enough to bring one to her own face now.

"Yeah, I'd have to agree," she teased when he claimed he looked better back then. She nudged him to let him know she was only joking before watching him go through the rest of the box.

She felt like she was getting to know his family even though they lived so long before she was even born. She would never get a chance to meet his birth mother and father and that was something that was somewhat sad considering how fond of them he was and what a significant part of his life they had both been. But looking at some of their keepsakes – his father's wedding band, his mother's ornate necklace – Bella felt as if she had gained more insight into their lives. She did when he would tell her stories of course and reveal his memories, but there was something different about also being able to tangibly obtain items that belonged to the actual souls that brought those memories to life.

The army tags caused her to imagine what it must have been like for his mother to receive the news that he had gone missing as well. It had to have been heartbreaking. And yet, this box was proof alone that she had always held hope. She wasn't alone in doing so and Bella hoped that Jasper would take comfort in that.

"She was proud of you," she assured him quietly, tracing her forefinger over the engraved information on the tags before he replaced them back in the box.

The last item he pulled out stopped her heart for a moment.

There was a significance there that forced her to close her eyes for a moment and reopen them to assure that she'd really caught sight of the feature in his drawing. A flower. Not just any flower; a daffodil. Daffodils held so much significance to Bella now and she couldn't help but wonder if maybe this was some sort of other worldly sign that the two of them were meant for one another. Why else would she have dreamt of those particular flowers? They weren't nearly as common as roses or daisies.

Bella was stunned.

"You drew this?" she marveled, gingerly brushing her hand atop of the one he had holding the picture. She was too afraid to touch it for how delicate it looked. It almost felt… _sacred_. Bella decided she probably wouldn't voice those thoughts aloud, but her awe would be difficult to hide.

"It's a daffodil," she said as if this were ever in question. "You drew a daffodil?"

* * *

Jasper was never going to forget this. There were many memories of his past that were lost, and he never thought he'd regain them again. With Bella, so much of his human life had begun to come back to him. Just by speaking about it, he was able to remember some things, even if they were vague. He'd remembered a lot more than he ever thought he would. Being here, it was like he was taking a step back into his human life and remembering more than he thought was possible. They weren't just blurred images, but vivid memories. Now that they were fresh in his mind, they weren't going to go anywhere ever again. Even if they tore down this house tomorrow (which would break his heart of course), he would never forget this experience.

He'd felt Bella's surprise when he discovered the box belonging to his mother. This must have been something she did not know about, which made it even more of an authentic moment. This was something Jasper could take back with him that he could feel, he could touch, he could look at anytime he wanted. It was a treasure that he would never let go of. He would for certain write a detailed thank you letter to the current owners of the house to express his gratitude. For Bella, he would be thanking her for this for a long time to come, though he felt no words could truly describe how grateful he was for this.

As surprised as she had been when he found the box, it was shadowed in comparison to what he felt coming from her when he revealed a sketch he'd drawn so many years ago. Bella was clearly stunned by it, and it took him only a moment to realize why. Daffodils were something that meant a great deal to her. She'd asked him about his thoughts on the flower before, and he knew they played a prominent role in her dreams. He connected that with the drawing and even he had to admit it felt like it was far too significant to be a simple coincidence.

"I did," he said, and led her over to his window that overlooked the yard. "Mama grew them, just over there," he gestured to a small area of the yard. "I remember sitting up here one afternoon and just sketching one to see if I was any good at drawing. Not the best, I guess, but.." he trailed off, knowing that this was a moment when both of them knew how significant this was. No words really needed to be spoken.

Jasper pulled her into a tender embrace and held her for a long time, letting his gratitude and love for her flow from him directly into her. He kissed the top of her head, then kissed her lips.

* * *

It seemed to have taken Jasper a moment to understand why she was so in awe of the fact that he chose to draw daffodils. They would always hold such a significance for the two of them and the fact that it was another way of demonstrating how the past could intertwine so intimately with their present made it all the more alluring of a coincidence. As she looked out the window where he indicated that her mother used to grow them, Bella closed her eyes for a moment after staring at the spot and imagined how they would. In her mind, they were so vivid that it wasn't all that hard to envision them still there in the small spot in the yard. They would have looked the same as they did in her dream the first night she had it – the night she woke up to tell him about it and he kissed her.

His kisses had the same effect on her now as they did that night. They had probably shared hundreds in the time between, but it didn't matter. Whether they were quick pecks in greeting or longer, lazy kisses, or the heated ones they engaged in when their physical natures were overtaking everything else – they were all ones that Bella loved. The reason for that was because she loved the person giving them to her and she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he loved her too. Right now, she could feel that love surrounded her when his arms did and giving her one of those aforementioned kisses that could make her fingers and toes tingle even though it was a chaste meeting of lips.

There was no rush in leaving.

Jasper showed her the rest of the inside of the house before they moved into the backyard and looked around while he told her more stories. He was just as happy to tell them as Bella was to listen to them and by the time they were getting ready to leave, they'd shared lots of them together. They were leaving with more than just the memories of the home – he was leaving with the treasured box of keepsakes that had been left there for him to find. That was one of the best parts of the experience, especially because even for Bella, it was something unexpected.

But more than that, he would be able to _keep_ these things. Of course they could always go back to the house whenever he wanted now that they knew where it was and how to go about getting there. But in the meantime, he would have something in his possession to remind of not just of this experience, but of all of those while he was growing up.

When they were back in the car, she let him drive, handing him over the keys. "Where to?" she asked. "This is your day."

But it was theirs. Another one of hundreds that were yet to come.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading! That was a chapter that we really liked and thought it was rarely seen in stories about Jasper and Bella. The significance that they were meant to be together is astounding! The next chapter gets a little steamy but has a critical moment between the two of them and an important discussion. Chapter 11 is VERY, very, VERY significant. ;D That's all we'll say! So look for BOTH of those chapters coming this week!

Welcome to all our new followers and readers! Please remember to review! We love you guys and adore hearing your thoughts! L&L

**Lyrics: **Come Home - One Republic


	10. Chapter 10

_So this is the New Year_  
_and I have no resolutions,_  
_for self assigned penance,_  
_for problems with easy solutions ;;_

A new year.

The one just passed had been unexpectedly the worst and then unexpectedly the best one Bella'd ever had. The way it began started off so drastically different from how it was ending.

In the beginning, she didn't care for the holiday to mark the occasion. That night, Bella hadn't even stayed up to watch as the clocks changed to read midnight. Instead, she was asleep by ten, or at least, in bed by that time. Sleep had never been an easy thing during those months, not since Edward turned his back on her and left her so coldly. Finding sleep on New Year's Eve hadn't been any different as far as getting sleep was concerned. To her, time had been frozen in any case. She still felt hollow, empty, alone. She was a shell of any sort of soul and she had been convinced that not only the year the come, but the next several would be equally as miserable. And she had been right – in the beginning. For the first few months, her predictions came true. She had been making some progress as far as people being able to observe some life in her again, but the light had been gone from her eyes and the hole in her heart was still gaping.

But then things had taken a turn for the worst and hit rock bottom in Volterra in March. But then, just as quickly, everything changed again. Bella changed. She found Jasper and Jasper had found her and together, they built a relationship and picked up the pieces that any number of years in the past broke apart. They fell in love and in the midst of it, had overcome the most difficult trials ranging from past flames to vicious enemies to near fatal misunderstandings. But at the end of it, they were together. They were connected on an impossible level that no one outside of the two of them could ever understand. People could certainly see that they were in love just by being in their presence. Even if they were not extremely physical and affectionate with one another in public, it was still an obvious fact. But even still, what others saw was merely the tip of the iceberg when it came to the pair.

Every event they had together was a significant one. This New Year's was no different. But what was better what that they could spend with their families. With their _family_. Esme, of course, had outdone herself as far as simple events were concerned. There was nothing simple about the get together she threw for New Year's. even though it was only the Cullens, Charlie, and Angela and Ben, whom Bella invited with Esme's happy blessing and encouragement.

It was nice to be surrounded by people she loved. Especially since it would be the last time that circle would be as extended as it had been that night. Anyone with a heartbeat – no matter how close Bella was to them or how dearly they were loved – would be someone that she wouldn't be seeing for a very long time. But for the duration of the night, Bella refused to think about that. This was meant to be a celebration of things to come, not things to end and thus, she focused on the better changes her life would be going through in the upcoming year.

By far the biggest one was scheduled for sometime that very month.

Charlie almost expected that Bella would be staying the night at the Cullen's. Esme had offered to let him stay the night as well so he wouldn't have to travel so late, but he declined, saying that in the morning he had an early day of work. He drove Angela and Ben home while Bella stayed at the house. Not for long though. She and Jasper planned to stay the night at their own little home. It seemed fitting that they should considering it was the first night of a new year and they ought to be spending it together in the place that they could call their own.

The mood was elevated, light. As Jasper unlocked their door, Bella was still laughing about Emmett's antics that evening.

"So since they're going to be family and all, I was thinking maybe we should introduce Emmett to my _dad_. As in my dad, the police chief. As in, you can't be trying to ply underage kids with champagne all night when the police chief is right _there_," she said, shrugging off her coat and tossing it over the arm of the chair near the hallway.

"I don't care if all of you are ancient," she said. "_He_ doesn't know that you were legal to drink 100 years ago. I don't even know what Em was _doing_ with that stuff considering he couldn't drink it. I'm pretty sure he scared Ben." She was chattering on as she moved through the house.

* * *

The year that had just passed was certainly one Jasper would never forget. It hadn't started off so bad for him, but just a few months in he'd undergone a tragedy that had ripped his heart to shreds and left him an empty vessel. He thought for certain he was doomed to spend eternity in misery, unable to die but with no will to live. He had surrendered himself to that existence, with no hope left in him that he could ever even smile again. Little did he know that over time, he would develop a bond with someone who could understand and feel his pain - not just because of his power, but because she felt it from her own broken heart as well. Though the circumstances under which they had grown closer were not as fairy tale as one might have hoped, it was because of that pain that they _were_ so close.

Jasper and Bella had seen each other at their absolute lowest points. They'd been sources of strength through the other's suffering and grown inseparable. What started as a fierce desire to protect her had blossomed into a passionate love for her, and Jasper was ever so grateful for it. He was given another chance at an actual life, to be happy again and his heart mended whole once more. That wasn't to say that it had been smooth sailing for them since their declaration of love. Far from it. He and Bella had been forced to overcome obstacle after obstacle. They'd had to face things that should have probably torn them apart and left them alone and broken all over again, yet because their love was so strong and everlasting, they'd always found their way back to each other. Their love was never called into question; it was strong and unwavering.

Things finally seemed to be looking up for them. They'd made it through the year and everything was playing out the way he'd hoped. They were getting married, with the blessings of their parents, families, and friends. They'd returned from a trip to visit Bella's mother and step-father which had gone even better than he could have anticipated, followed by a trip to Texas that had filled Jasper's heart and given him back a piece of himself he thought he'd lost forever. To round out the year, they celebrated the end of it and the beginning of a new year with their family and friends, and it had been quite the party. Emmett, of course, was the center of attention making everyone laugh and causing trouble. It was all in good fun, and mostly everyone saw the humor in the biggest Cullen's antics.

"You seemed to enjoy the sneaks of champagne that Emmett gave you when Charlie wasn't looking," he said with a chuckle, opening the door to let her walk in first, then followed behind and shut the door. "And I'm pretty sure _I_ scared Ben anytime he and Angela stood near us."

He didn't take it personally; Jasper knew he had that sort of effect on humans at times. "I did smile though. Angela can attest for that." He smirked a little, having noticed the slightly dazzling effect he had on the poor girl. Maybe that was why Ben was on edge.

"In any case, I'm sure Charlie can understand the importance of being underage sneaking alcohol on New Years. It wasn't like it was a.. what are they calling them now? Keg parties? Though I'm sure Emmett would have endured the taste and repercussions if it meant he could do a keg stand."

* * *

It was a good thing the night held so much humor and laughter; It made it easier to forget about the fact that New Year's was one of their last times all together probably until Jasper and Bella's wedding. It was obvious that Emmett was trying to be a clown and there was no mistaking that he was looking for attention. That was fine because in complete truth, he _was_ actually very entertaining to watch. He even had Charlie laughing out loud a few times.

But in the same respect, there were a lot of things that seemed funnier to Bella than perhaps anyone else. One _had_ been the way her friends reacted to Jasper. Because he was a year (seemingly) older than them and thus had not been in the same grade in high school, there had never been much interaction between Jasper and her friends, Bella assumed. That much had been confirmed when the two of them started a relationship together. Angela had been shocked to hear that news. Extremely happy and very supportive, of course, but shocked. She didn't knew Jasper well at all; she only knew _of_ him. Then again, everyone knew of the Cullens. But it was amusing to see the way her classmates interacted with them on a much more personal level. She didn't blame Angela for staring a little bit too long when Jasper smiled in her direction; God knows she still had that problem of being utterly transfixed by his lopsided grin. It was endearing the way Ben possessively held his girlfriend's hand when he noticed, though to say he was at all threatening would have been a laugh in and of itself.

"I'm sure she can," Bella said, glancing over her shoulder at him and raising an eyebrow. "And I wouldn't underestimate Ben. The two of them are serious business," she said. "He probably could take you."

It was a shock to Bella, actually, that Ben hadn't proposed marriage as soon as they graduated. He'd probably thought about wedding Angela on more than one occasion. Bella just hoped she would be able to control her instincts and urges enough after becoming a vampire to attend a wedding sometime in the future. One other than her own, of course.

She laughed when Jasper filled her head with images of Emmett being the ever typical fraternity boy and getting himself drunk silly if he could actually consume any liquor. It actually wasn't that far of a stretch, even if his diet only consisted of blood.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he still tried it. Don't you guys have like a super secret blood stash somewhere in case of emergencies? A keg seems like a perfectly good place to store it."

As she spoke, she moved through the house to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and searching for something to drink herself. She smiled when she spied fruit punch and pulled it down from the shelf, reaching for a glass to pour the red liquid into. "Not blood. Not champagne. But a happy medium," she explained.

"I wonder if Charlie is worried about _me_ doing kegstands in college," she said after taking a big sip and looking at the glass quizzically as if somehow it was spiked. "Do you think drinking makes you hungry?" she asked, continuing her rambling. "I'm hungry," she announced. "Maybe it's the _less_ you drink, the hungrier you are. I only had about half a glass. I'm _starving_ though" she said, opening the fridge again and peering inside.

Bella really only did have a few sips of champagne, but the way she was chattering on, she could have easily had a few glasses full of it. It was honestly just on account of her good mood though.

* * *

Jasper could feel that she was slightly.. buzzed from her intake of champagne. It hadn't been too much, of course. It wasn't _that_ kind of party, what with his parents and her father - the chief of police in attendance. They also were predominately vampires, who couldn't drink anything but blood without having to deal with some unpleasant consequences. Jasper had endured enough of that after having to eat a week's worth of human food at Bella's mother's house. It'd been worth it, but he'd rather not have to do that again for a while. In any case, the party had been a success with everyone enjoying themselves, including Bella who was currently very happy and.. chatty.

He was laughing a bit as he followed her into the kitchen. "Carlisle keeps some in our basement, tightly sealed away in a storage cooler. Just in case." Jasper never went near it, though. The temptation to break into it and drain their "emergency" supply would have been far too dangerous for him. It was fun to joke about it, though.

"Emmett keeps saying the next time Carlisle and Esme go away for a trip together, we're going to break it out and do shots of the AB positive stash since it's pretty potent. We've got a lot of O negative. He could probably do a keg stand with that." It was slightly morbid, but in a humorous way, to joke about drinking blood like that. But Bella was so in tune with his world that he didn't really even think about it.

He watched as she poured herself some fruit punch; he'd switch her over to water before she fell asleep. He'd learned enough just by overhearing from others about how to tend to those who had a bit too much to drink. She'd be getting some coffee in the morning, too. It'd probably also be a good idea to find her something to eat before they went to bed.

"Oh, Charlie and I already talked about _that_," he said, chuckling and moving to stand next to the fridge. "It's already been discussed that you and I will be visiting each other every weekend and I am to deter you from going anywhere near any frat houses, field parties, keggers, and if we do go to any parties you are not to eat any fruit arranged near punch bowls, or any suspicious looking brownies. No one but me is allowed to pour you any beverages whatsoever, and I am to have you back in your room by midnight." He'd been counting on his fingers as he listed off what Charlie had instructed him to do. "We talked about it between innings at the last game we went to. I'd like to point out that he was on his third beer at the time. I bet he did his fair share of kegstands back in his prime."

He ran his hand down her back, then back up as she peered through the refrigerator. "You should eat something, love," he said softly. "You didn't eat much at the party."

Esme had been kind enough to stock their refrigerator full of all sorts of food once the two of them had started to stay there more often, and would continue to do so when they began to live there full time. Jasper and Bella certainly couldn't show up at a grocery store in Forks and it'd be risky for them to go even to Port Angeles or Seattle in case anyone local saw them.

Of course, it would probably only be an issue for another few weeks, maybe a month. The transition would take place after that, and then they would no longer need groceries. Jasper wasn't thinking as much about it as he should; it was hard for him to think about Bella's life ending. He didn't like that aspect of it, so he was just enjoying what they were doing day to day. Right now he was really enjoying the humor Bella provided when she was tipsy.

"What looks good?"

* * *

His confessions about the stash of blood kept in the Cullen's basement made her laugh again. It was probably because he _did_ talk about it so nonchalantly with her. And yes, he was right – she was used to their world. But that didn't mean the imagery of Emmett and Jasper holed away in the basement clinking together shot glasses full of blood didn't make her giggle.

"What would you toast to?" she wondered aloud, furrowing her brow as she tried to think of what vampires made toasts about. Then again, how often did they even _make_ toasts? "You'll have to let me sit in on that one," she said. "But preferably, when I can have some of the hard stuff too. I don't want to end up being something to victory toast to after you eat."

It wasn't always a happy subject to discuss how dangerous it was for her to be around when they were feeding with the potential of her ending up being the main course, but it was clear that she was only joking now and she knew Jasper wouldn't feel uneasy about it.

"When I'm a newborn, I bet I could drink him under the table," she boasted, puffing out her chest a little. Then she erupted into laughter again.

Bella was not a giggly sort of girl by nature. She was more serious than anything. Like Jasper, she had a good head on her shoulders and was content in trying to remain stoic in most situations where others may have chosen to react in a different manner. Of course, when she was with her friends and family it was different and she was far more prone to laughing and letting her hair down. But when she was alone with Jasper, she was her most playful. He always had the ability to make her laugh, even when he wasn't always trying to. Tonight, her laughter could have been attributed to the swigs of champagne that Emmett had been so insistent on her trying. Admittedly, she liked the way it tasted and hadn't refused. She just didn't like the idea of having to sneak it. Though in truth, Charlie probably really wouldn't have cared if she had a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve considering it seemed fitting for Esme to want a toast. The idea that he was worrying about her going off the college soon and he wouldn't be able to watch what she was drinking or how much of it was probably why she avoided the situation altogether.

It was obvious those worries had been discussed in great detail when Bella wasn't around judging from the way Jasper started listing - _listing_- off demands that her father had for when the two of them went away to school. She opened her mouth to speak twice and had to close it before she could comment on account of the fact that the list continued on.

"Forget about Emmett. Maybe you should introduce _me_ to Charlie," she said, making a face. "Apparently he thinks the daughter he's raised is a raging alcoholic who likes to frequent frat parties." Jasper's next comment caused her to make another face. "Don't ever put my dad and 'kegstand' in the same sentence," she said, shuddering at the thought of Charlie being a party animal when he was younger.

Sadly, she could imagine it, otherwise Renee never would have been attracted to him in the first place.

Shaking her head of those thoughts, she concentrated on the contents in the fridge. "_Everything_ looks good," she said honestly.

Esme always did such a good job of picking out the best selection. A comment he made about one of the rules being something about fruit though peaked her interest and she pulled out a half of a cantaloupe.

"This," she said, nodding her head in agreement. Setting it on the countertop, she pulled a knife out of the drawer and started poking at the fruit. "Watch," she said as she dug the knife into the fleshy part of the melon. "I can make those fruit flowers too," she said with determination referencing his artwork the first time they went to the cabin/

* * *

What would they toast to? Jasper could remember hearing his human father make toasts in the past on holidays, and he understood the basic idea of making a toast at some sort of occasion, but he honestly didn't know what vampires would toast to, really.

"Long life?" he joked, laughing.

As she went on to talk about how she could probably drink them under the table when she was a newborn vampire, Jasper did not elaborate on how right she probably was. She'd be insatiable for awhile. It made him wonder if he should take her somewhere remote for the first year. Perhaps they could run north to Canada, or even stay in Denali for a while. Concrete plans would have to be made soon. This topic wasn't going to just be talk for much longer, he knew.

"I'm sure Emmett would love to challenge you on that, and a lot of other things. I'd bet on you to win in arm wrestling."

It was fun to relax and let the playful sides of themselves emerge. Not everyone got to see this sort of behavior from them, so moments like these were very special to Jasper. Most regarded him as a very reserved, aloof and stoic young man. That truly wasn't the case at all. He was very emotional and extremely sensitive. But it was because of his power to feel the emotions of everyone around him that he came off the way he did (that, coupled with the fact that he often had to refrain from breathing) that he appeared the way he did to the other humans in town. He actually really loved to laugh and have fun, and contrary to popular belief, he was quite tender and light-hearted. This was particularly evident right now.

"I'll be sure to refrain from putting anymore images in your head of your dad's hard partying days," he said. Though honestly, trying to imagine Carlisle or Esme living it up was very difficult. They were both so refined and well-mannered, he couldn't for the life of him picture either of them at a keg party no matter how fun-loving they could be.

He smirked at her answer about the food, but let her decide what she wanted to eat. Something with bread probably would've been the best choice, but he did not protest when she pulled out the cantaloupe. He made the short journey to the island counter and stood next to her as she started to cut into it. He was standing with his back to the counter, his hands resting lightly on the edge. Jasper raised an eyebrow as she started trying to attempt to cut a flower out of the cantaloupe. He wasn't sure what kind of flower it was supposed to be. Maybe a Picasso flower. It was endearing to watch her, noticing how her features furrowed in concentration as she earnestly tried to carve the fruit. He dared not touch her or kiss the top of her head as he wanted, for fear he might distract her, but he could not hide the wide smile on his face.

* * *

Bella wasn't really concerned with the type of food she was eating; she was just hungry. He mentioned fruit so she thought of fruit. And the idea, for whatever reason, to try to make a flower out of it like he had seemed like a good one to Bella at the time. Of course, she didn't take into consideration that he was very skilled and artistic by nature. At least, much more so than she was. Bella stuck to stick figures and popsicle sticks. Art had never been her thing. Especially carving things with knives. Sharp objects and clumsy never were a good match.

She didn't hurt herself though. Instead, she just assaulted the cantaloupe. She weaved the blade around the fleshy part and produced something that looked like…. Well. Not much of anything. Scooping out a lopsided circle shape of sorts, she plucked it between her fingers and frowned.

"I don't get it. I didn't think it could be _that_ hard," she said, brow still furrowed as she tried to comprehend why her creation didn't look like some form of edible art. He had made it all look so effortless when he'd presented it to her back at the cabin. She frowned at the dripping piece of fruit in her palm and made a 'hmph' sound, like she was a disappointed child that didn't get what they wanted for Christmas. As if she were getting revenge on it for not appearing in the manner in which she would have preferred, she ate it.

"It still tastes good," she said with a shrug after she chewed, satisfying her hunger. "You're missing out," she insisted, licking her palm free of the sweet juice the cantaloupe left in its wake.

She noticed then that he was smiling at her. His smile. It would never, ever fail to make her knees feel like they were weak and her insides were turned to mush. He had a lot of other more desirable effects on her just by smiling as well, even if it hadn't been his intention.

Bella put the knife back on the cutting board, forgetting all about the fruit and adopting something of a devilish look in her eye. Lifting an eyebrow at him, she took a step closer. "So tell me," she said, her voice lower than it had been a minute ago. "When Charlie was listing off those rules to protect me, did you possibly remind him that the person I could very well need to be protected from the most…" She paused, taking another step closer and running her hand down the center of his chest. "…was you?"

Her other hand moved to his hip and she tugged him closer by way her forefinger hooking into his belt loop. "I think you owe it to him to make sure he is very, _very_ well informed that a certain college boy could be taking advantage of his innocent daughter," she said, reaching on her toes to brush her lips against his.

"It's only fair..." She spoke against his mouth. Words were lost after that as well as any other previous thoughts that didn't involve kissing him fiercely.

* * *

This kiss wasn't quite the same as the chaste peck he'd received at midnight at the New Years party. Jasper hadn't even been sure that they were going to kiss at first, since they were so private with their affection. Even on the kiss cam at the baseball game, he'd only kissed her hand. It was rare that they even held hands, let alone kissed passionately in public. They had kissed, innocently enough, while the other couples in the room shared a kiss, but Jasper had quickly sent Bella over to peck Charlie on the cheek seconds later, as he did the same for Esme. However, they certainly weren't in the public eye now, and he wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to kiss the young lady he was most attracted and unwaveringly devoted to.

There was always a level of control in how he kissed her, held her, whether it was in the heat of passion or light and playful. He always had to make sure he did not lose sight of what he was and what she was. He could break her, no matter how much she hated to admit that she was fragile. It was the truth. With one careless motion, he could crack all of her ribs at once, break her wrist, or worse. It was all worth it for one taste of her lips, though. Jasper would gladly control himself, though it was struggle sometimes - as was evident after they'd made love the first time and he'd left her covered in bruises. Even during a particularly passionate night in Jacksonville, he'd bruised her hips and arms from how heated it got between them.

Tonight, he was trying to maintain some sort of semblance of control. Bella was tipsy, though he'd hardly call responding to her advances taking advantage of her. She was his girlfriend - fiancee now - and he knew she had pretty intense hormones anyway even without the encouragement that her ingested alcohol provided. She wasn't a fall down drunk, either. She was just being carefree, uninhibited.

And he liked it.

He grinned as she kissed him and returned it, sliding his hands over her waist and the slight swell of her hips, pulling her flush against him. "Innocent daughter, you say?" he whispered against her lips.

"My love, I hardly would call you innocent anymore when it comes to being in the presence of this predator. You provoke me.." He turned them around, switching it so that she was the one who had her back to the counter. "And I can't help but fall prey to you."

He lifted her up onto the counter, but kept her close to him as he leaned in and kissed her again, stealing her breath.

* * *

For Bella, there were already a million things that attracted her to Jasper to begin with. Of course there was the bulk of it that went beyond his outside appearance and focused on everything else that comprised who he was as a person. His heart, his soul, his beautiful mind – those were all things that drew her to him. It didn't matter what species he was. The fact that of the matter remained that it was because of _who_ he was that caused her to fall head over heels in love with him.

But that was not to say that the more physical elements didn't apply. Jasper was attractive. He was _sexy._

Anyone who was capable of sight would be hard-pressed to disagree with that fact. Simply attractive was putting it lightly. He was like one of those storybook characters that no real life actor could ever live up to as far as looks were concerned. Jasper put every name on the world's list of most attractive celebrities and big names to shame. And somehow, he ended up with her. She couldn't think about the inadequacies – at least, certainly not at this moment – and how she would never be on any type of similar list in any context.

All she could think about was that he was _hers_. She was the one who was kissing him and running her hands over his body. _She_ was the one he was doing the very same to now.

It seemed her attraction to him was even more heightened due to her slightly altered stated that the champagne had caused. She didn't need any aid for her hormones to already take control, but it appeared that they had some help on this occasion and the desire to be touching him, be closer to him was especially strong. After all, they were alone now. Even when the clock struck midnight and kissing had been an appropriate thing, the kiss they shared was hardly anything to be considered at all scandalous. Bella was making up for that now. There was no question.

"Provoke you to what?" she persuaded in a teasing tone, wrapping her legs around him after he'd seated her on the counter.

She didn't give him the chance to answer before her mouth was back on his again. There were still rules, she knew, as far as pushing things too far too fast since they did still need to be careful with one another. But for some reason, those rules slipped her mind for a moment. Her lips pulled back from his just enough to whisper his name against them. Following the syllables was her tongue swiping against his full lower lip.

It wasn't allowed, but the taste of him was better than anything Bella could have found in that refrigerator. She just needed one. But before he could pull away or protest - not that Jasper would in a way that would hurt her like the way Edward used to - her mouth was already attached to his jawline, littering wet kisses along the cold skin and distracting him from scolding her about her tricky tongue.

"Tell me," she insisted with a whisper as she continued down to his neck, losing her fingers in his hair.

* * *

It really should not have surprised him that Bella was pushing the boundaries that they had to tread so lightly around. As much as he always wanted to part his lips and allow them to taste of each other's mouths, he could not ever do that because his saliva was venomous - the deadliest type of venom beyond what was even known to man. One taste of his mouth and Bella would be writhing in the most agonizing pain. He couldn't ever let that happen to her, especially if it was something he could control. It wasn't the right way.

Bella had other ideas, though. Jasper had been responding eagerly to her kisses, returning them with equal passion. His hands slid under her shirt, fingertips brushing against her back and bare sides. It was then that he felt her tongue dart out and brush against his bottom lip. It caused his eyes to fly open and he nearly jerked back, but before he could, she had lured him back in with kisses to his jawline. Warm, sensual kisses trailing all the way down to his neck.

If Bella ever doubted her sensuality, she really needn't anymore. She was very, very alluring and had succeeded in seducing him - and reducing him to a lovesick fool. Dangerous as her actions had been and still were, Jasper could not resist her.

He didn't even try.

"To show you just how dangerous I can be," he murmured, and pulled her hard against his body.

He was tempted to lift her up off the counter entirely, so she'd be completely in his grasp and unable to hold any semblance of dominance over him, but he didn't. He liked this side of Bella, despite the danger it might provoke with it. He feigned a growl as he nudged her head to the side and pressed his lips to the crook of her neck. Her pulse was pounding in his ears, but he was so engrossed in the seduction that he was not as tempted to bite. Instead he started kissing her there, while his hand roamed her body. His other arm was wrapped securely around her, keeping her body pressed up against his.

* * *

Bella like this side of Jasper too.

When they started their relationship, it had been one based on a need to protect. Bella always felt safe with him. Even though he was the world's deadliest predator, with her, he was always someone who kept her safety at the forefront of his brain. Bella knew she didn't always show him the respect for that that he deserved in the way that she so often pushed at the line of safety and danger and attempted to smear it until it didn't exist anymore. But he was still always in control. Anyone else would have said that control was seriously tested the night of the newborn attack when he was only seconds away from carrying out what nature intended between a warm-blooded being and a vampire, but she still insisted that such was _beyond_ his control. No vampire would have been able to resist that as far as Bella was concerned.

But even though she was always safe with him and he always _would_ keep her safe if any danger was looming, whether it be from an outside party or from her hormones racing, there was a side of Jasper that came out when he was being seductive that caused her insides to tighten and her heart to race.

She liked when he played on the fact that this wasn't supposed to happen between them – predator and prey. They had commented on it before under similar circumstances and it did nothing to suppress how badly she wanted him. That air of danger was attractive, desirable. It was a sense that it was forbidden – and their relationship essentially still was – but they were engaging in the dangerousness to an extent either way. They were not supposed to love each other. They most certainly were not supposed to give themselves to each other on an intimate level with the result being survival for both parties.

And yet, they did.

She loved the way it felt when he pulled her against him, his dominance. Even though she was an independent female, Bella still appreciated the way he made her skin flush when he was always so in control. In control, but on the same level. The way he growled as he moved his mouth to her neck caused her to emit a soft sound as well. His lips were cold, but the way they kissed her neck made the skin there feel on fire. She leaned her head to the side to allow him to have a full range of that skin and let go of his hair to press her palms back against the countertop to brace herself.

Immediately she was met with a sharp, searing pain against her hand. In her haste, she hadn't been paying attention to where she had been placing them and upon leaning back, the blade of the knife on the cutting board dug into her skin. Withdrawing her hand, she hissed in pain.

"Damn it!" she swore, wincing at the sensation of sudden pain. Moving to cradle the wound with her other hand, she pulled her fingers away to see them covered in a warm, red liquid.

Blood.

Her entire body froze. Eyes widening as they looked up at him, she clamped her other hand over the wound. It was extremely painful to do, but it would have been far worse to simply do nothing.

"Jasper, I- I'm sorry," she stammered. "I didn't n-notice the knife there."

* * *

The odds had always been against them. _Nature_ was against them being together. It always struck Jasper as odd how something so unnatural could feel _so_ natural.

As guarded as he had to be, and as careful and conscientious, it did not feel abnormal to be with her. It felt so incredibly right, that questioning whether they should be together was what felt wrong. That didn't mean he hadn't had doubts. _Never_ about his feelings for her. But he had such little faith in himself and thought so poorly of the monster he believed himself to be that he thought she deserved better. He still thought that, but since he knew that she loved him and did not want to be with anyone except for him, he had moved beyond that. He devoted himself to being the person who loved her more than anyone else, and would protect her better than anyone else could.

It was no secret to any of his kind that Bella's scent and the potency of her blood were extremely strong. For Jasper, however, his bloodlust was so intense that humans all smelled the same to him. Their blood, anyway. Bella did have a particular scent that he could pick out of any crowd. He'd learned the hard way that no matter how careful he was, he was still a bloodthirsty vampire. It did not matter how much he wanted to protect Bella, or even how much he loved her. When presented with blood, he was always going to be a dangerous predator. That was proven when he tried to protect her from Victoria and Riley; he'd come a mere snap of his teeth away from killing her. That had been one of the lowest points of his life. But they'd made it through that, and it did not crush them beyond repair. He just hoped they would never be in a situation like that again.

Unfortunately his wish was not granted.

The only difference was that there were no other vampires around to get in his way when faced with her blood. He heard her wince, and almost immediately after he was overwhelmed by the scent of blood. She was clutching her hand and he could see drops of blood on the cutting board next to the knife responsible for her injury. His throat felt like it was on fire, and he could've sworn he could feel the color draining from his eyes. The first thing he did was let go of her and step back, all the while shutting off his intake of oxygen. It scared him to death, the thought that she'd been hurt. But he knew that he could hurt her _a lot_ worse if this wasn't taken care of immediately.

He couldn't speak. He just.. couldn't. That would involve breathing, and he couldn't risk that. This had happened before, when they were alone. She'd scraped her knees and had to clutch them until they made it home so she could clean them.

Clean. They had to clean the wound.

He quickly moved to the cabinet in the kitchen that he knew Esme had stocked with first aid supplies. Though the gentle mother would never admit it out loud, she knew Bella was prone to having accidents, so she'd placed a couple of first aid kits around the house. He moved quickly to that cabinet and pulled the small kit out. His hands were shaking, he was so afraid that at any moment he might completely lose it and lunge at her. Jasper set his jaw and picked out some gauze and roller bandages. There was a small bottle of peroxide in the kit, which he poured onto the gauze. Some of it spilled, as his hands were still shaking. It was strange, to see a vampire quivering and timid, as they were usually so graceful and flawless in their motions. But had to do this. Bella had to keep holding her wound to keep the blood from getting out of hand.

Warily, he moved back to where she was and gave her the gauze to cover her wound with. He had to turn away quickly and grip the counter, his shoulders tense and his grip so tight that he nearly cracked the marble countertop.

How was he going to get through this?

He could only hope that the peroxide would eliminate the scent of the blood or at least cloud it enough that he would be able to help her get the wound taken care of. Jasper reached for the rolled bandage, and hesitated only for a moment before he returned to Bella. He didn't look at her face, for he feared he would break if he did. Shakily, he started to wrap up her hand. They could have Carlisle look at it later, but for now he just needed the bleeding to be under control. When he reached the cut, he had her move her uninjured hand so he could wrap the bandage around the wound. He tied it around her hand as gently as he could, but with enough pressure to stop the bleeding, then put the cutting board and the knife into the sink and turned the hot water on to clean them off immediately.

The burning in his throat was so intense, he didn't think he could speak even if he tried.

He _had_ to communicate with her though. Jasper reached into another drawer to pull out a pen and found a pad of paper in the same drawer. _Hunt_ was scribbled onto it, not at all in the beautiful script he usually wrote in, but shaky letters that looked similar to a child first learning to write. He set the notepad down on the counter and lifted his eyes to meet hers, finally. They were black as coal, and the pain on his features was unable to be hidden from her.

* * *

Everything happened so quickly and yet at the same time, everything slowed to a near stop.

The sting of the cut was not as prominent as the sting of the realization of the situation at hand. She had been careless and now her careless nature had not only put her life at risk again, but it put Jasper in a position she never wanted him to be in again. At least, certainly not by her hand. Yes, it might have been natural for his reaction to be that he needed to feed, but he strove to do so on animals. Bella had just compromised his shaky outlook on his diet in a way that could have been avoided completely had she just been thinking straight.

She had been afraid to even look up at him for how guilty she felt. When she did, the gold in his eyes was already just a memory, replaced by a near charcoal black. She expected the color she loved to fade, but it still caused her breath to catch in her throat when it happened so quickly. Her mind was racing, trying to decide on what the fastest way would be to get away from him. She cut her right hand so driving would have been more difficult. She could have gone somewhere outside, far from the house by foot and hope the air would carry away the strong potency of her blood until the bleeding at least had stopped. Either way, she was still trying to wrack her brain to figure out a plan when she noticed Jasper moving. She assumed he was leaving and she was grateful for that. But when he turned back around with a first aid supply kit in hand, her eyes were as big as saucers.

"No, Jasper," she said, shaking her head. "Go. I've got it," she assured him as he poured the peroxide on the gauze.

But when he handed it to her, she had to take it. As quickly as she could, she removed her other hand from the wound to grab the cottony gauze and replaced it on the wound. It stung and she closed her eyes and hissed through her teeth, but she applied pressure to get the bleeding to stop.

Bella was just starting to really clean it when he turned back to her with the bandage. Her mouth opened to protest again, but the shock of his actions was what prevented any words from coming out. "I-"

She was stunned silent as she watched him gingerly wrap her hand. Even though it had to have been painful for him, she was amazed at how gentle he was when treating the wound. She was examining it when he was finished and again, her eyes widened when he touched the knife and the cutting board, both with her fresh blood on it and cleaned them in the sink. It was impossible to miss the way his hands were shaking, but his actions were astounding. The last time he'd come in contact with her blood, it was nearly fatal. Now he was somehow managing to take care of her wound.

Nodding, she understood the need for his note and the lack of other means of communication. Of course she wanted to talk with him and never wanted him to leave, but she was glad that he was going. He needed to take care of himself, too.

When he left, Bella moved quickly. She didn't know when he would be back depending on how his hunt went, but if it was a short one, she wanted all traces of the incident to be gone. She scrubbed down the kitchen countertop on the island and moved the knife and the cutting board into the dishwasher. There were a few drops of blood on her shirt and so it immediately went in the washing machine along with the rest of her clothing. It was difficult to take a shower when her hand still hurt, but she knew that any traces of the scent of blood would be further concealed if she was freshly bathed, especially if she used something scented to wash with. She kept the water on her body and avoided getting her hair wet save for a few stray end pieces that were captured by the hot stream.

After she dried off, she dressed in one of his t-shirts. It would have been good to cover her hand, but because it was in that location, it wasn't as easy to cover up as it had been her knees. Thus, she figured what she wore made no difference. Crawling into bed, she burrowed under all of the sheets and blankets and pulled them up to her chin as if that would help matters while she waited for him to return.

* * *

It was utterly imperative that Jasper get out of that house as soon as inhumanly possible. Yet as he ran out the door, his heart _hurt_.

Bella was injured, her hand cut by the blade of a knife, and he was running away. He should've been in there with her, tending to her better and taking care of her. Or making sure she received proper medical attention if the cut was deep enough to warrant stitches. Instead, he was running as fast as he could away from the house and into the surrounding woods, holding his breath until he was far enough away to breathe in fresh air that wasn't filled with Bella's blood. He felt like a coward, and even worse, he felt like he was letting her down.

Why was he so weak? He'd been trying for years, decades, more than half a century, to make himself adhere to the vegetarian lifestyle that Carlisle had been teaching the family. Everyone else was okay with it. Everyone else in the family had very little difficulty going against nature. He knew his circumstances were different, but shouldn't it have set in after this long?

As much as he could have gone on berating himself and hating everything that he was, he knew he needed to take care of his thirst. He took himself out of his self-loathing state of mind, and shifted into a hunting mentality. His frustrations were taken out on two grown bucks. They weren't his preference, but they were convenient. He killed them and drained them of their blood, feeling the blood temporarily extinguish the flames in his throat. Jasper knew that he shouldn't return to the house. He should have called Carlisle immediately before he even hunted and asked him to take Bella back to the Cullen home and treat her there. Selfishly though, he did not call his father. He _did_ return to the house because he wanted to be with her. He wanted her to know he had not left or abandoned her.

The scent of cleaning solution filled his nostrils as he entered the house. It made him feel guilty; she'd taken the time to try to disinfect all signs of the accident - mostly likely for _his_ sake rather than just to clean the house. He should've been the one to clean up, not her. Jasper felt so guilty, that he wasn't even stopping to think about how he actually had controlled himself as opposed to how events in these circumstances had unfolded before. He didn't go to her right away. Instead, he took a shower downstairs and found some clean clothes in the laundry room, throwing his dirty clothes from the hunt in with her bloody shirt into the washing machine.

He crept up the stairs slowly, holding tightly to the banister as if that would stop him from lunging at her. He didn't sit on the bed, however. Instead, he stayed in the corner of the room and sat on the floor, watching her. This wasn't fair to her; Bella shouldn't have to lay there alone. It hurt him so much that he did not feel he could go to her, but he also couldn't leave.

"Does it hurt?" he asked softly, watching her from his place on the floor.

* * *

Bella could hear him return. She didn't know what the outcome was of his hunting trip, but the fact that he didn't come upstairs right away made her worry. She strained her ears to hear the shower turn on and she couldn't decide whether or not she was relieved or concerned. On one hand, he always showered after he returned from hunting and so she hoped that meant he had a successful trip as far as feeding was concerned. But then again, since he didn't come up the steps to shower, it probably meant that he wasn't ready to be around her yet. Bella could understand that, of course. But she wouldn't deny that she missed him already. She did from the second he'd left, no matter that it was necessary for the both of him to be apart for the time being.

When Jasper returned, she was very still as she waited for him to make a move. He didn't approach her and her heart fell as little as he took a seat on the floor. It shouldn't have been that way. He shouldn't have had to seclude himself in a corner. He should have been under the covers with her so they could hold one another and forget about what happened. They actually should have been celebrating it. Of course, it wasn't anything to cheer at that she cut herself accidentally when she was being so careless with her actions. But they survived it.

_They_ survived it; not just Bella. It was only a little cut, one that probably wasn't even very deep at all. It looked a lot worse than it actually had been due to the blood flow. But still, that blood had been significant and it could have ended her life. But instead, Jasper exercised amazing control and truth be told, Bella was still in awe of that fact.

Part of her wanted so badly to run to him, hug him and kiss him and tell him how wonderful she thought he was for what he accomplished. But another part – a stronger part, it seemed – told her that she couldn't push it. There was a reason he didn't crawl right into bed with her. She was too afraid that if she acted too quickly, he would leave. That was the last thing she wanted. And so, she had no choice but to stay where she was, holding the covers tighter around herself as if there were a chance he would still be able to smell her blood.

"No," she said quietly when he asked if it hurt.

And she was telling the truth. It hurt badly when it first occurred, but after having it cleaned and bandage, the pain subsided significantly. The pain she could feel coming from him along with the guilt and the fear was far worse than her cut ever would have been.

Bella didn't want him to feel as if she were fearing him, however. Though even if she wanted to control her emotions, the strongest was still relief that he was all right. Second would be her amazement. And this would come the worry she felt for him.

"Did you manage to hunt?" she asked.

It wasn't because she was afraid if he hadn't – he would know that. Rather, it was because she knew he needed it to feel better, like he could even function, and to her, that was far more important.

* * *

Being there wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be. Bella had done a flawless job of disinfecting everything and covering up any traces of her blood that might threaten to spill from the small wound on her hand. It was lucky that she had not cut it any deeper. It was also lucky that Jasper had managed to control himself so well. It was not without a struggle, of course, but Bella was still very much alive and no blood had been shed due to his teeth. He didn't think much of that, though. All he could focus on was the fact that Bella had been hurt and he couldn't stay with her while the wound was tended to. He'd done a little base work, but he couldn't _stay_.

Jasper looked up when she asked him about hunting. As if the color of his eyes wouldn't be assurance enough, he nodded. "I did," he said quietly.

He could feel that she wasn't afraid of him, and that she actually was feeling relief and what he thought was awe. It surprised him to feel these things coming from her, but he knew what fear felt like and it certainly was not what was coming from her now. How could she not be afraid of him after what happened the last time she bled in front of him? He couldn't let himself think about that, but he couldn't help it, either. It was a constant reminder of what he was, and what she was.

She wasn't approaching him - not that he blamed her or even would have asked her to. Jasper just did not like that there was any sort of distance, be it physical or emotional, between them. He kept trying to get past his guilt and shame, to remind himself that the important thing was that Bella was okay. He had satiated his thirst and the wound was not presenting any sort of threat of bleeding through the bandages that were securing it. Since he felt no fear from her, he let himself move from the corner of the room. Slowly, he walked to the bed and sat on the edge of it next to where she was lying.

"Are you all right?" He asked, lightly touching her side over top of the covers she'd wrapped herself in.

* * *

His eyes _were_ confirmation enough that he had not only hunted, but had done so to the point where he was full. Bella had come to know the manner in which his trip had actually gone when she was capable of seeing the exact color of his eyes. In Jacksonville, the color was gold, but it looked faded a bit. It was clear that his excursions while they went to visit her mother had not been enough to satiate his thirst and the color of his irises reflected that to the trained eye like Bella's. Renee, of course, never noticed. She just thought that he already had the most captivating eye color to begin with. It was a shame she probably wouldn't see it for a long time when it was at its most beautiful shade. Possibly at Bella and Jasper's wedding, but then again, she would definitely be noticing that Bella's eye color had changed as well. It was strange to think that she wouldn't have dark brown eyes anymore. That was one of the most miniscule changes she would be going through, but the idea of crimson and then gold was something that she would be noticing whenever she looked in the mirror after her transformation.

But his eyes were a reassurance and when he crossed the room to sit with her, she could feel a heavy feeling a relief seep through her. He would be able to feel that too, even more so than the amount that lingered before. Nodding, she pulled her undamaged hand from beneath the covers to rest it on the top of his leg.

"It doesn't even hurt," she assured him, hoping he would believe that to be the truth instead of just jumping to the conclusion that she was only saying that on account of the fact that she was trying to make him feel better by downplaying her pain. "It looks worse than it really is," she said. She paused for a moment and trailed her fingers down his arm until she found his fingers. "It… would have been worse if you wouldn't have acted so quickly to take care of it," she said, linking their hands together.

"Do you realize what happened?" she asked, sitting up a little so she could prop herself against the pillows and face him between as she spoke. Her brow furrowed and she shook her head before recounting the event.

"I know it was hard. I could tell you stopped breathing," she said. "Your eyes were black before I could even look at you. But… Then I thought you were leaving and you didn't. You… knew exactly what to do," she said, obviously still in complete awe of him. "You didn't just clean the cut, but you took care of the knife and the cutting board and…" she paused again. "How did you do it?" she asked.

* * *

Until Bella mentioned all of the things that he'd done, Jasper really hadn't taken the time to realize he'd done them. In the moment, everything happened so fast. He'd been shaking the entire time, his lungs constricted by their lack of functioning. Truly, he hadn't been thinking at all. It was just a matter of keeping Bella safe. That was the only thing on his mind at the time. Now that he took a moment to process what she said and what he'd done, it really hit him that he'd been able to be around her while she was bleeding without completely losing control. As difficult and painful as it had been, he'd managed. She was living and breathing, and they were still siting next to each other.

While this probably should have been something to celebrate, Jasper did not see all the good that came from it. This was something he should've accomplished a long time ago.

"I just... I don't know," he replied, shaking his head and lightly shrugging his shoulders. "It was painful, but, all I could think about was making sure you were taken care of, that you were safe. I suppose my desire to protect you overpowered my natural instinct to.. feed."

He did not want to become overly confident because of this. While it might have been considered a triumph, he didn't want to push it. He certainly did not want to have to go through it again if it could be avoided. Jasper knew that sooner rather than later, Bella would be changed by Carlisle and then it would no longer be an issue, but until then he wanted to do everything he could to keep mishaps like this from occurring if possible. He slid his hand up her side, all the way up to caress her cheek.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said, offering a small smile finally. He really was glad that her wound wasn't more serious.

* * *

"Thanks to _you,_" she said. "No thanks to my hormones."

She had to smile a little bit sheepishly at that. It was true that if she had just been more considerate instead of just… well, _aroused_, then they probably would have moved to the bedroom or even the living room to the couch. Even the floor of the kitchen would have been better when it came to avoiding sharp objects that were very likely to not only cause injury, but to ruin the mood and the moment.

She shifted under the covers so she could lay on the other side of the bed. That was usually the side he laid on when he rested at night as she slept quietly, but she didn't want him to have to walk around to the other side of the bed. Besides, that was the side where her wounded hand was and it would have been better to just keep avoiding that as much as possible. She reached for him and when he set himself atop the covers, she tucked herself into his side to feel physically closer to him. The hand that had been holding his still kept a hold of it and when they settled into silence for a moment, she started aimlessly playing with his fingers in the way he usually toyed with hers.

As she did, her mind started wandering. Again and again, she played over events during the night. The way Charlie looked when Esme asked Bella's schoolmates about going off the college, the taste of champagne that Emmett coaxed her to sipping, the kiss she and Jasper had at midnight… and the several more passionate ones they had when they arrived back at the house.

But the majority of her thoughts revolved around the event that put a halt to that. There was so much significance there that Jasper obviously didn't see. He'd claimed he was more concerned with her safety instead of his thirst. Enough that… he had been able to stifle it in order to take care of her bloody wound directly.

"Jasper?" she mused finally.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again. She had a feeling he wasn't going to like what she was going to say. They had talked about this before, of course. On more than one occasion, in fact. But before, they hadn't gone through what they just had in the kitchen.

"I… was thinking," she said. "I want… _you_ to be the one to do it. To bite me," she said. "To change me."

* * *

Jasper didn't think she should place all the blame of what happened onto herself. He should've been more careful too. He normally would have taken much more caution, and had he been paying better attention he would have seen the knife nearby and moved it out of the way to keep her from touching it accidentally. He'd been careless, letting his desires get the better of him and cloud his judgment. It had been a small - but serious - accident that very well could have resulted in something devastating. How many close calls had they gone through now? This one had been considerably less violent, but nonetheless a life-threatening risk. It wasn't his usual side, but it didn't bother him any. The bed smelled of Bella's scent, mixed with a bit of antiseptic, but still mostly her. Her scent comforted him.

That thought was a curious one.

Her scent _comforted_ him. It should have driven him mad with bloodlust. There were admittedly times when he wished she was not quite so potent in her scent, but over time he had grown to become so much more comfortable around her. Still, as much as the thought of how much her scent and even the steady beating of her heart soothed him, Jasper was completely thrown by her request. His newly golden eyes widened and he could not help but look at her as if she'd possibly misspoke.

She hadn't really just said she wanted him to be the one to bite her, had she?

"Belle.." he trailed off, pausing for a moment.

He didn't even know what to say. Never once had he even entertained the idea of being the one to actually perform the change on her. It was crazy, to even think he could get through doing something like that when Carlisle, the most disciplined vampire he'd ever met, struggled with it. He'd been hesitant enough to even leave her in his father's trust-worthy care, let alone in his own unreliable hands.

"I.. I don't think that's such a good idea," he said, frowning deeply. "I'm too unpredictable, too unstable. I could - probably would - lose control. The results could be.. I can't even think about what could happen."

* * *

His reaction was much like Bella expected, but at least he had not outright refused the idea. He didn't shut down the conversation and leave no room for further protest. Of course, he wasn't welcoming the idea with open arms, but Bella was pretty sure that a year ago, he didn't even think he could be in the same room within five feet of her scent after what happened at the birthday party. He was certainly a lot closer since then. They had continually broken all the rules that they were never meant to even _test_, let alone overcome.

The thing with Bella was that she could be very persuasive. She didn't want to push him too far, too fast and admittedly, she was definitely capable of doing so, but at least Jasper wasn't completely naïve to the fact that she had a tendency of such a nature. He'd been on the receiving end of her persuasions, from the serious to the silly. This was the most serious thing they would ever discuss, even more than being sexually intimate with one another which had been the biggest obstacle they'd voluntarily overcome together after thinking it impossible initially.

She sat up and shifted again to face him full on, letting the mass of covers fall from around her chest so she was more free to move.

"Hear me out," she said. "You had a lot of ideas before about things to make me more comfortable, remember? What about changing this one little thing?" she asked. "All you would have to do is just bite," she said. "Just one little, tiny bite. Carlisle will be there and I'm sure Emmett can maybe manage to be there as well. They can pull you back right after you do it. You can go hunt right then," she said.

"Or… Or you could go down to the basement and have some of the blood stored there!" she said, eyes widening at the idea of more than one possibility. "The venom will heal the wound so quickly that you won't have to be gone for long. As soon as you've hunted, the blood will be completely gone. Carlisle will already have taken care of any traces. It's just that first _moment_," she said.

"And after tonight…. I know you can do it, Jas. I know you can. You didn't have to leave right away tonight. You stayed. You took care of it on your own will. You were strong enough to overcome it. I know you can do it again, Jasper," she said again, her eyes wide with a mixture of both hope and of complete trust.

Bella was quiet for a moment before moving closer to him, unleashing both of her hands to rest on his forearm, bandaged one and all. "I want this more than I've ever wanted anything else in my life," she said. "For you to be the one to do it…"

She shook her head in awe of the very thought. "That… I can't even say how much it would mean to me," she said honestly. "You said before that there's a bond between the newborn and the vampire who bites them and… I know, I _know_ I said I wouldn't ask you when we talked about it first but… so _much_ has changed since then. And tonight, you…"

Her rambling trailed off, brow furrowing yet again as the thoughts swarmed her mind.

* * *

Jasper said nothing while she spoke, trying to reason with him that he should be the one to change her. She did raise some valid points, but none of them could overshadow the risk involved. He was an unstable vampire, bloodthirsty and dangerous. He was the vampire that the worst of their kind had once feared. While he had changed his ways, that didn't change the fact that he was still probably the worst person who could be the one to perform this act on her. He had been disciplining himself for years and years _not_ to bite humans or crave their blood. He'd fallen several times along the way, but he'd never _intended_ to. For him to purposely bite someone was a bit hard for him to comprehend allowing himself to do.

"Bella, I can't.. The risk," he shook his head, stammering. "I-I.. I could.. I could kill you."

That wasn't exactly a strong argument, though. He could kill her at any given time. If he was going to base his argument on that, then one could reason that they shouldn't even be in the same room with each other. He knew he was going to have to add more to it than that.

"It's true, the bond between the Sire and newborn is very strong, but that doesn't mean we wouldn't still have an unbreakable bond, Belle. Mates have the strongest bond in our world. There is nothing that goes deeper than that." He just couldn't see how he could possibly agree to be the one to bite her. It wasn't part of the plan, and it wasn't something he could see ending well.

"Bella, the reason that Emmett was able to hold me back before was because I was thirsty," he explained, wanting her to understand that it wasn't as simple as just having someone big like Emmett be able to hold onto him. "Having blood, _human_ blood, even just a drop, in my system will make me unbelievably stronger," he said, trying to stay calm about it. "There was a reason I was able to keep hundreds of vampires in check at a time. Vampires just as strong, or stronger, than Emmett. I.. I don't know if he'd be able to keep me back."

He looked down, very disappointed with himself. "I'm sorry. If I wasn't so weak-willed, this wouldn't be an issue. I just.. Bella.." He looked at her with wide eyes. "I'm afraid."

* * *

If danger was the issue then no, they shouldn't even have been in the same room. They never should have gotten close enough to be friends. They never should have physically touched, let alone kissed. Those touches became much more progressive. Kisses became eager rather than chaste and careful touches more bold and exploratory. And then they made love to one another, perhaps the most vulnerable position they could have put themselves in as far as danger was concerned.

And yet here they were, in bed, together, in their house. Bella was very much alive and well (even with the small cut on her hand) and the discussion they were having needed to include the fact that they already beat almost all of the odds.

It wasn't to say that Bella wasn't listening to him. On the contrary, she was taking every word he said into account, but she had a different way of looking at things. Bella viewed Jasper much differently than he viewed himself. He thought he didn't deserve her affections and that he was so different from the rest of his family, and yet, Bella thought the world of him. She loved him. His family did as well and no matter what, they all would have supported him through anything.

"But you aren't weak-willed. That's what I'm trying to explain. Before tonight, even though I wanted it and thought about it more than once, I wouldn't have asked you to be the one to do it," she admitted. Not especially after what happened the night the newborns attacked. She wouldn't want to put him in that position again.

"But when I cut my hand, you didn't even think. You just acted and the way you acted _helped_, not hindered. I wasn't in any danger, no matter what you think. If you want to talk facts about danger, technically I'm in just as much danger now. If your family is there to help you, I feel like I'd be even safer as opposed to anything else. They won't let anything happen to me or to you," she said confidently.

And Bella believed that to be the truth. She didn't know if they would think the idea was the best one, but they would still support it if that's what Jasper and Bella decided.

For a moment, she was quiet to collect and then redirect her thoughts.

"Jas, I'm not going to ask you to do anything you don't want to. Either way, I'll be happy because it's just the beginning of the rest of our entire lives," she said honestly, linking her fingers together with his again as she spoke. "That's ultimately what I want. But… I had to at least suggest it," she said with a shrug.

"What you did tonight was amazing. Even a vampire that was brought up from the beginning under Carlisle's teachings like Esme or Rose or Emmett would have had trouble directly handling human blood. But _you_ did it, Jasper," she said, reaching out to stroke his cheek with her free hand. "Do you get how incredible that is?"

Leaning over, she closed the distance between them to press her lips to his briefly. "Just… will you think about it? Please? Maybe see what Carlisle thinks?" she asked hopefully.

But she planned to be the one to tell Carlisle her side of the story concerning what happened that night with the knife incident considering coming from Jasper, she had a feeling it would have come across very differently.

* * *

There was another fear he had, but he didn't want to talk about it. When Jasper bit humans and drained them of their lives, he was left a emotional mess, broken and crippled with the pain that ripped through his body. He felt all their fear, anger, pain, and despair from having to die. It scared him to think he might cause and feel those things from Bella. While he did not intend on drinking all of her blood, he was afraid that he'd be the one to bring her all of those painful emotions. It was something he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to recover from; he'd be the one to end her life. That was a frightening thought that made him very distressed to think about.

She did present some good points. He hadn't stopped to give himself any credit in what he'd done that night because he thought it was an embarrassment to be unable to take care of his fiancee for more than a minute or two before he was forced to go out and satisfy his thirst. Jasper was so critical of himself and the things he felt he was unable to do that he often missed the accomplishments he did succeed at. No, he had not killed Bella. But why should anyone be proud of the fact that, 'oh, wonderful, I didn't kill the woman I love'? What kind of achievement was that?

That should be common sense, not some amazing feat. Then again, their situation was very different from the ordinary. Maybe he should cut himself some slack.

_No_, he thought, shooting down that suggestion silently. If he became complacent, he'd be liable to slip up and fall even harder.

Her affection soothed him, and he returned her kiss tenderly. The bottom line was that he loved her more than anything or anyone. If this was something that was important to her, then it was important to him too.

"I don't know if I'll have the will to do it," he said softly. "Not just over the blood, but because I'd essentially be your killer in the process. I can't.. I.. Just the thought of that alone.." He shook his head and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

"I realize that by doing so, you'll be given eternal life, but can you understand that worry? I understand the result, it's just in getting there that I fear I might not be able to recover."

He looked at her once more, feeling the need to be closer to her. He slid his arm beneath her shoulders and held her to him, though she was beneath the covers and he was above them.

"I want to give you this," he whispered against her hair. "I want to be the one, but it scares me. If I believe that I can do it, then I will. I promise you that. I just need to make sure that you are taken care of in every possible way. I need you to be safe, even though I'll be putting you in the gravest danger a human can experience."

He kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

* * *

"Thank you," she said with a nod when he'd finished promising her that he would administer the bite if he, himself, felt as if he were strong enough to be capable of doing so in the safest manner possible.

It didn't seem like it was a good idea to keep discussing the idea of Jasper going against everything he was striving to learn by being a member of the Cullen family. The idea was in his head now and it was more than obvious that it would be staying in Bella's. There wasn't a need to keep bringing it up when they were going to be spending the night together. The incident with the kitchen knife was long over and the only reminder besides the memory of it was the bandage on her hand.

"I love you too," she assured him, touching her lips to his again before she laid back down and settled beneath the covers, secure with his arm around her.

She didn't pull the blankets up the whole way, instead letting them mainly settle at her waist so she could hook her arm across his chest and curl up against him. Bella wanted to _feel_ his presence physically just as much as she could feel the emotions he was experiencing. It was easier to do that without the hindrance of sheets and covers.

Her mind started to drift back to earlier in the night. Looking up at the ceiling, she recalled something almost wistfully. "Remember when I asked Angela if she wanted to see the lights Esme strung up in the back of the house and we went for a walk?" she asked.

It was one of the times that the two of them separated so she could have some girl time with her female best friend. Bella was eager to do so considering that would likely not be the case again for several months. Maybe even years. The two of them had talked about what it would be like for Bella to go off to college. Angela had assured her it wouldn't be bad and that she and Ben really liked the freedom that leaving high school provided. In college, there were a lot more choices that reflected how many choices there were in the real world. Bella had made a recent choice as well.

"I asked her if she would be my maid of honor," she said, drawing her eyes back to his.

Of course Angela had said yes and even got a little teary at the offer. Bella considered asking Rosalie, but truth be told, even though Rose was going to be her sister, Bella didn't think it should be an honor that went to her. After everything she did to break apart her and Jasper, it wasn't right to ask her to play such an special part in their wedding, no matter if she was really sorry or not. Angela had always been there for her. That part belonged to her and Bella was happy she accepted.

* * *

Jasper was glad that Bella moved on from the subject. While he would always talk with her about anything she wanted, that didn't make it easy. This was something he really, truly had to consider. He couldn't give one answer or another tonight. It meant a lot to him that she respected that and wasn't pressing the issue aggressively. He needed her to give him a little time to figure the whole thing out, how he could possibly grant this wish that meant so much to her, and she was going to give him that. For that he was grateful.

He settled in next to her, happy to hold her so close. He hated that she had to suffer the cold because of his body temperature, but he was always mindful to make sure she never got too cold. Jasper started to gently stroke her back, just between her shoulder blades, listening to her as she spoke. He did recall Bella walking off with her friend from school, Angela, for a short while during the party. He hadn't asked her about it, but figured she'd tell him about it if she wanted. Apparently now was that time. Bella had appointed her friend as her maid of honor, and Jasper thought that was wonderful. It brought a smile to his face, which was a first since before she cut her hand that night.

Bella was thinking about their wedding.

That meant a lot to him because he'd feared she wasn't ready for it, that it was too soon and she was too young. But here she was, already making plans and had decided on something very important.

"I think Angela will make a wonderful Maid of Honor," he said.

The idea of asking Rosalie to fill that role was almost comical to Jasper. If his adopted twin actually was expecting it, he'd be surprised. After all the horrible things she'd done, she was lucky that either of them still spoke to her in the first place.

"I thought about asking Emmett to be my Best Man," he said, pausing his hand motions, letting it rest in the middle of her back. "But, I was actually leaning more towards trying to find Peter. Do you remember me telling you about him and his mate, Charlotte? I'd.. really like it if they were there. It'd mean a lot, for them to see that because of the help they gave me, I've managed to find such happiness."

* * *

Bella was pleased that Jasper accepted her choice to be her maid of honor. It would be a key figure in their wedding and even though he didn't know Angela very well, he knew that she was a very good friend to Bella and that seemed to be enough for him. To Bella, that was selfless and very understanding of him to do. More of the reasons that she was in love with him and that there was even going to be a wedding in the first place.

When he told her about his desire for his best man, she touched his cheek softly. "Of course I remember."

He spoke of his old companions with nothing but the highest respect and truth be told, Bella had that very same respect for them. She so badly wanted to meet two of the most significant people in his life. They essentially had saved him from the hell that Maria had him locked within and they did so by exemplifying love and happiness that could never come from such a cruel being and such an unfulfilling lifestyle. It didn't matter if Bella had never met them personally; she already loved them both. What they did for Jasper meant the world to her, even if it had been a century before.

"We'll find them," she promised him. It would be easier to do when she could go with him and actually help without there being any risk of danger. "I can't wait to meet them."

They still had a long ways to go before they were married. To Bella, it felt like it would be an eternity. It didn't actually matter to her when they were wed. What mattered to her was that they _would_ have an eternity together by that point. Most couples vowed eternity and forever on their wedding day but for the two of them and most of those around them, it would mean something different, something much more true to the vocabulary. They _would_ have forever.

Forever was quickly approaching and the thoughts of it often consumed the brunette who was currently wrapped up in Jasper's arms. A yawn somehow broke through those thoughts and when her eyes closed, Bella realized how heavy the lids felt and how tired she was. A lot of that probably had to do with the fact that it had been a long night. It was later than she normally stayed up (even if she would have always chosen to stay up longer to be conscious with Jasper for longer), and the champagne didn't help the fact that she was fighting to stay awake.

"Happy New Year," she wished him again before she drifted off completely.

She had nothing but high hopes that it would be.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry we had to cut everything off when things were heating up between them in the kitchen, but that was such a key moment in their relationship. Are you ready for next chapter? A very big _change_ is about to come... ;D

Thanks for reading! Remember to review! Cheers x

**Lyrics:** The New Year - Death Cab for Cutie


	11. Chapter 11

_When your blood runs dry_  
_You're paralyzed._  
_It will eat your mind._  
_Did you hold it back?_  
_It comes to you in slow attacks;_  
_It's the meanest fire _

_The sweetest way to die ;;_

The decision was made. The time had come.

Yet they were not treating it as such. Jasper could not allow himself to think of this being the last day of Bella's life. It would have a devastating effect on him, and probably everyone involved if they regarded it that way. There were so many potential dangers and so many disastrous scenarios that could take place. They were defying nature that day, turning a human into something.. _not_ human. Jasper couldn't think on it. He _couldn't_.

All he could let himself think about was Bella, and that he loved her more than anyone or anything. She was his world, and they were about to step into eternity together. He had told her before that if she changed her mind, he would understand and support that. They would never discuss her becoming a vampire again, and spend the rest of her long life together happily. But Bella had not budged once or shown any sign of fear.

The other Cullens had come to Jasper and Bella's that afternoon. Throughout the week, Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle had been hunting everyday, draining the blood of several animals and bottling it, rather than drinking all of it themselves. That blood was stored in the "wine cellar" in the house that he shared with Bella, in order to test one of Jasper's theories during Bella's transition to make things easier for her.

That morning, something just felt... right. It was time. They hadn't had a lengthy discussion, or really even talked about it that much. It was mentioned, and then they both just understood what it meant. A phone call was made, and a few hours later the family of vampires pulled up and spent the early part of the evening with them. Preparations were made quietly, without any attention being drawn to it. Carlisle had set up several medical necessities that would be needed to monitor Bella's health throughout the process so they would be better able to keep up with the time that passed (since their own perception of time wasn't so accurate).

As the sun began to set and the sky shifted to a darker, lovely shade, Jasper took Bella out onto the balcony of their bedroom. The others were still arranging a few things, which gave them some time to themselves. He didn't say anything about what was going to happen, because he feared he would lose his nerve. It was shaky enough as it was, and even the slightest hesitation could cause him to call off the whole thing - or at least, the part that Bella was wishing for so much. He stood behind her, his arms circling around her waist and his chin resting on top of her head as he watched the sky shift in color.

"Are you cold?" he asked, fearing that in the evening air his chilled temperature might be a bit too much for her.

This, of course, would not be a problem after a few more days, but he still needed to take caution now. His lips pressed to the top of her head and he held her a little closer.

* * *

Just because they weren't speaking of it did not mean that the fact was not on everyone's mind. Earlier in the week, Bella had to say her goodbye's to Charlie.

She asked Jasper if she could do this privately. Even though her father was now quite fond of her fiancé, this was something that she didn't think would be as candid in the presence of anyone else. Of course, she had to downplay the situation to make it seem as if she really were just going off to college, but that was a lot more difficult than she anticipated. It didn't help that he was not so quick to let her go when he was hugging her and telling her that he was so proud of her for making the decision to go to school, promising that she'd 'knock 'em dead.'

But she wasn't like the millions of late teens going back to school for the second semester. She wasn't just going to say goodbye to her father for a short time and be able to fly home on the weekend and see him. It had been the hardest thing to do. Out of everything, hands down the most trying.

When she'd said goodbye, she managed to wait until she was alone again to cry. Jasper was there of course and didn't say a thing to her as she sobbed. That was how she preferred it. He didn't need to say anything. He knew. He understood that she needed that outpouring of emotion so she could overcome it. Even though Bella knew that he would still support her if she changed her mind about becoming like him, she wasn't going to. Even through the difficult mourning of being parted from Charlie, her mind was made up and knowing that she would see him again someday - _vowing_ it – she was able to move forward.

And move forward they did.

It was an indescribable feeling that morning when she woke up that told her it would be the last day she would be waking up. But like Jasper, she refused to think of it as anything out of the ordinary. She didn't think about her meals being her last ones or what she was wearing or what she looked like. She acted as if it were just another day when in reality, it was the furthest from it. All Bella could focus on was Jasper. He was with her and he would stay with her throughout. That was what mattered – nothing else. The two of them didn't spend much time familiarizing themselves with what Carlisle was doing, mainly at Bella's request. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to prepare. She just wanted to carry on as they were.

With Jasper's arms around her on the balcony, her mind, however, was on what was about to happen. She felt safe with him there, wrapped up in his arms despite the cold. "I won't be for long," she said truthfully.

Temperature wouldn't matter anymore in a few more minutes essentially. Even though they'd been avoiding talk about it directly, Bella knew that this moment was saved for the two of them. This was supposed to be when they could share affection with one another. Neither of them would have been particularly comfortable in the presence of others, even if it was just the family. She turned around to face him and linked her arms around his neck to keep him close.

"Soon you won't be able to worry about the cold anymore," she said, giving him a reassuring grin. "You'll still be an old man though, I'm afraid. Can't do much about that," she teased.

It might have been a serious moment, but Bella wasn't trying to keep it that way. They both knew it was serious. There was no need to enforce the fact. "I hope Carlisle brushed his teeth this morning," she said with a smile.

* * *

This was without question the most serious and dangerous step they'd ever taken in their relationship. It was quite literally a life-altering experience for them both - Bella especially. However, by taking this step and changing Bella, there were several positives that could emerge from her transition. For one, they could be together all the time, forever. They would have their eternity. Beyond that, by changing her he was also keeping her safe. Dangerous as it was, they also still had the threat of the Volturi hanging over them.

They'd received more than one warning about Bella remaining a human. If she was a vampire, they could no longer hold that threat over their heads. This was most certainly _not_ the reason that Jasper had consented to changing her, but it was one of the benefits that would result from it. Another was the fact that he would be able to touch her without fearing he would break her, or kill her. He would no longer feel like an icy, marble statue to her when she rested against him. The benefits were most definitely things that Jasper was looking very forward to.

They both knew the severity of what was to come, so there had been no need to continuously speak of it. To each other, anyway. Jasper had spoken in great detail with his brother and father about it during their hunting trips. As far as Bella knew, Jasper still felt he wasn't ready to be the one to bite her. He had gone back and forth about it, and there still was no final decision on whether it would be Jasper or Carlisle who did it. Jasper just told his father to be ready to do so regardless, and he would let him know when the time came.

As they stood there, Jasper looked into her dark eyes and smiled. Seeing her smiling and joking with him filled his heart with joy. He held her a little tighter to him and smirked. "You'll catch up," he said. "We'll be filing for your social security checks soon enough."

He leaned down then and kissed her tenderly, savoring the feel of her warm, soft lips. "I'm sure we've got some mints around here somewhere, just in case," he teased back, brushing his nose against hers lightly.

Though they were joking around, Jasper knew that they needed to go back inside soon. They had not set a time for it to happen, but the longer they waited, the more potential there was for doubt and worry to creep in.

"I love you so much," he said softly, locking his gaze within hers. This moment between them was one he would always remember. Even if it was one of her human memories that would fade, he would remind her. Jasper leaned in and kissed her again for a much longer moment, pulling back slowly and pressing his forehead to hers.

"Shall we go inside, ma'am?" he asked, a sideways smile on his face.

* * *

Her heart felt light when he smiled at her and in turn, returned her joking nature. She appreciated that from him and was glad that he was able to indulge her humor. It was what she needed. However many times Bella kissed him, when he pressed his lips against hers, she tried to remember exactly how they felt in that moment. She didn't know what they would feel like the next time they kissed. This would be one of the very last between the two of them while she was human and he was not.

Bella was glad to have lightened the mood somewhat, but there was another part of her that did want to be sure that there were no doubts in her mind about certain things. "I love you, Jasper," she said softly. "I might be changing, but that never will."

It was important to her that he knew that. Bella knew that he was already aware of how much she cared for him, loved him with everything that she had. But this was one of the moments when it was important that it be spoken. It wasn't the same feeling as it had been before the battle with the newborns and with Victoria. Jasper wasn't in danger this time. Neither was Bella. There was no desperation because on Bella's part, there was no fear. Either way, she had to express her affection for him now.

After returning his kiss, she grinned at his charming words. "Well I do declare, kind soldier," she said, kissing his mouth quickly again before taking his hand to lead him inside.

She was showing that she was confident. Ready. What she didn't show was that there were any signs of fear or sadness. That wasn't what she wanted. This was her decision and she was going to stand by it. There weren't going to be any goodbyes or embraces or tender words. There was no need. The rest of the family understood that and were already waiting inside the bedroom when the two of them went back inside. Bella merely grinned at them and nodded her head once.

Her fingers squeezed Jasper's before she let go of his hand to crawl on the bed as they'd decided before and settling down into the mattress. "Ready when you are, Carlisle," she said.

It was clear that Bella was trying to keep the mood less severe for everyone. The best example? When she unbuttoned the top button on her shirt to pull down the collar further and pushed her hair back, instead of a smooth expanse of skin, it was dotted with a bright yellow smiley face sticker.

"I made it easier," she announced proudly.

* * *

It amazed him how calm Bella had been over the last week. There was never any sign or indication that sent out a warning signal to him that she wasn't ready for this. It just seemed like it was the natural progression of things, despite it being completely unnatural. The only time he felt any sort of guilt or remorse about it coming from her was after she'd said goodbye to Charlie. That was to be expected, though. Despite their low-key relationship, Jasper knew that Bella and Charlie loved each other very deeply. Charlie had no idea what was going on, and they'd have to tie up several loose ends with him down the road. That was one reason why it was imperative that they go through with this sooner rather than later. Otherwise they'd have to keep up the college charade much longer. He'd held her while she cried and made no attempt to stop her. She needed to let those emotions pour out in order to face the future confidently. That appeared to have worked, considering how confident she was at the present.

Jasper walked with her into their bedroom, where everyone had just gathered. With their heightened hearing, they'd known when the couple was going to come back into the house. This was it. He watched as she moved onto their bed to rest comfortably. It was difficult for him not to look at the heart monitor and other machines that were to be used to monitor Bella's vital signs after she was bitten so they would know the precise moment when all of her organs had ceased to function. He didn't want to think about that, but to a certain degree he couldn't help it.

As she called out to Carlisle, Jasper set his jaw and moved to the bed. He was going to be as involved in this as much as he possibly could. He also wanted Bella to be very aware that he was going to be with her throughout the duration of this, from start to finish. This was going to be a long three days, and Jasper wasn't sure how well he'd do having to watch her go through all the pain. He knew that what she was enduring was far worse than what he would be going through by watching, though, so he'd vowed to himself that he would be strong throughout, and do everything he could to keep her comfortable.

He'd just moved to lay next to her when she unbuttoned the top of her shirt and revealed a little target she'd made for Carlisle.

Upon seeing it, Emmett immediately burst into laughter. Rosalie rolled her eyes, while Esme covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. His father had come to lean down, getting ready to get things underway quickly, just in time to see it and paused, looking down at the mattress and laughing as he shook his head.

Jasper.. didn't laugh. He had a similar sense of humor as Bella, but this wasn't something he felt like he could laugh about. One slip of concentration, and Carlisle could fall - even as disciplined as he was. He stared at them all, silent until the laughter ceased. It was then that he came to a decision.

"Father.." he said, stopping Carlisle before he could lean back in again.

The two met eyes and Carlisle understood what his son was trying to tell him. The good doctor nodded. "Emmett," he said, notifying the big bear of a vampire to be ready.

Carlisle moved away from the bed then to stand closer to the machines while Emmett took another step towards the bed. Jasper turned back to look at Bella again. He wanted to ask her if this was really what she truly wanted, but he couldn't speak very well right now. He was nervous, but trying so hard to keep calm. Slowly, one hand slid beneath her back to press against the curve of her spine, while the other ran over her stomach and around her side to hold her still. He knew his hands would be wrenched behind his back soon enough, but for now he wanted to hold her.

She was what she wanted. And Jasper, more than he realized before on account of his fear, wanted it too.

"Belle..." he whispered, watching her eyes.

Though he was very aware of everyone else in the room, it felt like it was merely the two of them in this moment. He leaned in and kissed along her jawline, then pressed the tenderest kiss to the pulse point in her neck.

* * *

Bella's little joke had the reactions she mainly would have predicted. She was glad to have at least made Carlisle relax with a smile. She knew that this would have been hard for him enough as it was. She figured that she could at least try and help by allowing him to know how much she trusted him. By kidding around with the silly gesture, she was vulnerable in a way and that exemplified her trust by allowing herself to be in such a state of mind.

Her smile quickly faded when she read Jasper's reaction though. When he spoke his father's name, Bella had a brief moment of panic. She thought he was calling him off, that he was going to stop him from going through with all of this and the transformation wouldn't occur. She thought that he was going to say that he didn't want to end her human life, that it was too dangerous, that there was too much risk. Or he was going to say that they needed to wait longer, that this wasn't the right time.

She had a million thoughts racing through her head all in one instant. Her eyes darted to Carlisle, then to Emmett when his name was spoken, then back to Carlisle. Opening her mouth to question what was going on, she finally allowed her eyes to meet Jasper's.

When they did, her worry somehow subsided.

The look in his eyes wasn't one that caused her to panic any longer. It was certain, resolved. Yet, it was incredibly soft. It was a look that they often shared between the two of them when neither of them needed words to speak. His hands were on her then, the chill of them evident even through her clothes as one slid behind her back and the other to her side. But her eyes never left his. In a way, Bella assumed this was his way of sharing another moment with her, the last one she would have as a human before Carlisle bit her and started the transformation into something different entirely.

But as Jasper's lips moved to her jawline and further to her neck, Bella learned that it was not the good doctor who would be doing it. It would be Jasper.

Her Jasper. Her soldier. It was going to be _him_.

Her heart leapt within her chest, something that all others present would be able to notice. But that was the only change Bella allowed. If she reacted, even in the smallest manner, she feared that he might change his mind or decide he wasn't able to do it. And more than anything, Bella wanted it to be him. She so badly wanted _him_ to solidify their eternity together in a way that even wedding bands couldn't do in the same respect. And he was. He was giving this to her.

Silently just then, Bella vowed to spend every single one of those days leading into forever thanking him for this.

Lips still parted, she took a quiet breath, turned her neck just slightly to the side, and closed her eyes.

* * *

Jasper wasn't sure what came over him, or why he spoke up. There was just something he felt within him that told him he had to be the one to do this. He hated to halt the process, for fear it would startle Bella or make her worry he was going to call off the whole thing. He wouldn't do that; this was Bella's choice, not his. The only decision he was altering was to give her exactly what she said she wanted. He was nervous, but he'd been using his power on himself as much as he could to remain calm. He knew he couldn't hesitate for long, or else he really would lose his nerve. Halting the process twice would no doubt frighten her.

He knew the others were all around them, but it seemed like it was just the two of them. He knew Emmett was coming in close behind him, but he could barely even sense his brother. Being so close and in tune with Bella allowed him to feel everything she was feeling. He knew she was nervous, no matter how confident she was in her choice. But he thought, when he knew Bella realized what he was going to do, that he felt _relief_ coming from her. There were no words necessary. They'd said everything they needed to, and surely she could feel all the love pouring from his heart just as he could feel the same from her.

He'd never bitten anyone for any reason but for the sake of feeding. While building Maria's vampire army, it was never his job to change any of the victims. Jasper bit to kill, to drain his victims of every last drop of blood in their system. To bite Bella, have a small taste of her blood, and then let go... well, it seemed impossible to him. Jasper had very little faith in himself, but he had an unmeasurable amount of faith in the love he had for her. That was the strength he would rely upon in order to let go. That, and the physical strength of his brother.

Very slowly, he pressed his lips against her pulse point again. His eyes closed momentarily, as he savored this moment. He did not pause for long though, for fear that thoughts of doubt would creep into his mind. His golden eyes opened once more so that he could see what he was doing. Jasper parted his lips, revealing a set of perfect white teeth. The only sound he could hear was Bella's heartbeat, as everyone else had fallen silent in anticipation.

"I love you," he breathed out, and then moved in to perform the action he had always striven so hard to avoid.

His teeth sank into her neck, piercing right into the artery. His eyes grew wide as her blood seeped into his mouth and teased his taste buds. He had to force his hands off of her so he did not clutch her too tight. As soon as he let go of her, he felt his brother's strong grip pull his arms behind his back.

Having to unclench his teeth from her neck was extremely difficult. Human blood was what his body craved every second of every day. Having a small taste of it, only to be forced to let go was just cruel. It was also ingrained in Jasper's nature to be territorial. As far as he was concerned, Emmett was interfering and invading his territory.

No, no he wasn't.

This was _Bella_.

He wasn't feeding on her.

He had to remind himself of that, and it became clear to him as soon as Emmett wrenched him off of her.

Esme immediately moved to help, while Carlisle tended to Bella and quickly got rid of any traces of blood. Jasper struggled momentarily, as Esme touched both sides of his face and spoke soothing words to her son to calm him. Flecks of crimson tainted the golden hue of his eyes, but did not take over completely as he'd only managed to consume a few drops of her blood in the process of biting her. Carlisle immediately hooked Bella to a machine that kept her vitals monitored. All Jasper could do for the moment was try to calm down, and watch as Bella reacted to the potent venom that would now be penetrating her blood stream.

* * *

The moment of anticipation had been the most difficult.

Bella was calm, more so than likely anyone else would have been in her position, but there was still a very small part of her that was a little nervous. The reason for that was mainly because she had experienced this type of pain before. When James had been hunting her, he managed a bite and the resulting pain had been nothing less than excruciating. She had never forgotten that feeling, even when she was so insistent on being changed and acknowledging that she would have to endure it for three full days.

To her, those seventy-two hours of agony were worth an eternal lifetime of happiness. With Jasper and with her transition, that's what she would be gaining. In the grand scheme of things, the pain registered very low. But right before it occurred, the anticipation of it is exactly what brought it to memory.

Still, Bella knew it would have been worse if Carlisle would have been the one to perform the task. He would certainly not have gone about it the same way. Jasper kissed her skin and whispered that he loved her. It was difficult to focus only on the pain and negative aspects of what was coming up. His lips were cold against her neck and his words, however perfect, chilled her.

It was a striking difference from the very next second of pure pain. It took every ounce of strength Bella had in her to not scream out when his teeth sank into her skin, but Bella forced herself to remain quiet for that instant when Jasper would be having the hardest time with what was happening.

Fire licked her insides as she felt the venom start to spread. Once it was in the bloodstream, it was impossible for her to remain still and silent. The burn was so intense and spread so quickly that the fire was present in every inch of her in less than a minute. From her fingers to her toes, there was nothing but fire.

When Emmett pulled Jasper away and she no longer felt the contrast of his cold touch, her back arched and she cried out. The pain was so intense, concentrated at her neck where he'd bitten especially; she had to cry out for some sort of release. For a few minutes or maybe it was a few hours - Bella had absolutely no concept of time anymore, not after Jasper had bitten her - she whimpered and moaned, her body aching so painfully that she couldn't keep it still.

All she could do was wait.

* * *

A vampire's concept of time was considerably different than that of a person.

Three days, in the grand scheme of things, really should not have been that long. Ordinarily for a vampire, it would have been nothing. In this case, it was the longest three days in Jasper's existence. Even the three days during which his own transition took place seemed to move faster than time had in the last seventy-two hours. The only thing harder to endure than the time itself, was knowing how much pain Bella was in.

In the beginning, she'd voiced her pain for a few hours. Jasper regretfully had not been there at the start, for he had to have Emmett remove him from the room while he regained his composure and drank a little of the blood they'd stored. Once he was in control of himself again, he did not leave her side.

He was constantly on alert. Jasper watched her every minute that ticked by. He laid in the bed with her, keeping his body pressed to hers in order to hopefully help soothe the burning she had to be experiencing from the venom. Not only did it travel through the blood stream, but it also saturated the skin to give it the diamond-like durability. He kept his arms around her and his eyes on her at all times, looking for any sign of discomfort. It wasn't too long before her whimpers and cries of pain had quieted, which baffled him.

But not for long.

He realized what she was doing soon enough and it made him feel guilty. Even in this state, she was trying to hide that she was hurting, and it was most likely for his sake.

Despite her efforts, Jasper had been through this and witnessed it thousands of times in his life. He knew that no matter how quiet she was, she had to be in excruciating pain. He could only hope that his chilled temperature would help ease some of the pain. Like clock work, every so often, Esme or Carlisle would come up with a vial of blood from the stash they'd collected in the days before Bella was bitten. Jasper would gently lift Bella's head and tilt it back. He would whisper sweet words to her, and prepare her for what he was going to do. This was very much a gamble, for he did not know how the blood would taste to her yet. But what he did know, was that it was the only cure for the fire she no doubt had to be feeling in her throat. Slowly, he trickled blood into her mouth, keeping her head tilted back so that it would drain down her throat without her having to try to swallow it herself. He prayed that it would help.

For three days he did not leave her side; he tended to her, comforted her, held her, and spoke gently to her. He would watch as the numbers on the heart monitor changed, lowering more and more with each passing hour. Her skin was starting to harden and grow colder as her blood circulation diminished.

Jasper was there as her breathing slowed and eventually stopped, and he was there for her final heart beat.

The sound of the monitor flatlining told him that his hearing had been correct. He raised up and looked down at her, but only for a moment. Everyone else in the house heard it as well and came quickly to the room. It was only then that Jasper left her side and retreated to stand behind his larger brother. As much as he had wanted to be the first person she saw, insecurities crept up on him faster than he could have anticipated. He was a monster. He was not like the others. He would not look the way he did before he bit her. He could not hide behind the camouflage anymore.

Jasper watched from behind his family, waiting for her to awaken.

* * *

Pain.

That was all Bella could feel. That was all Bella could think about. That was all that existed.

And then Jasper was there. When he came back to her, everything changed. It was not just because of the intensity of it that Bella was unable to concentrate on anything else but the pain, but because also, she was aware that Jasper was gone. She knew he needed to go take care of his hunger immediately and she was glad that he managed it. She was glad that he managed _all_ of it. It was something that helped to focus elsewhere aside from the pain. If she could just keep thinking about him, if she just fixated all of her attention, thought, feeling on Jasper, then maybe the pain would not be quite as prominent. When he laid in the bed with her and pressed his body to hers, the chill of his skin acted as some relief to the burn she was suffering within her own.

That small flicker of relief rendered her silent. He was there. He was with her. She was in the worst pain anyone could ever experience and everyone was well aware of the fact. They had all been through it; it was certainly not something that was easily forgotten. But that didn't mean that Bella had to continue to show it. Just as painful as it was to endure, she imagined that it was just as hurtful for Jasper to witness. It was how Bella felt in regard to him. It was rare that he was in pain, but she'd witnessed it before. More than once. And each time, it had been by the hands of another vampire. It wounded her in a way that it felt as if she too were experiencing the pain first hand. Right now, she imagined it likely that he was feeling similarly. That was why her demeanor changed completely upon his arrival.

Her body went still and her cries went silent. There was no longer any movement from the brunette who was still in the early stages of her transformation. It was an opposite, almost eerie change from her reaction to being bitten initially. Her chest alone was the only movement as her breathing progressed. But her breathing rendered her to be in the most pain of all. The burn in her throat was so intense, it literally felt as if someone had lit a torch within and the flames were burning freely.

His idea regarding the blood proved to be a good one. The first time she tasted the thick liquid, it was bitter, disgusting. But it did seem to soothe the burn in her throat. It was not very much, but it was noticeable. After the third vial she was given, Bella began to anticipate the next. It was no longer bitter tasting, but rather, it was satisfying in addition to being somewhat soothing. It also gave her a further distraction.

She started to count the seconds until someone brought the next vile. Hundreds and thousands of seconds. She almost always lost count due to the fact that Jasper would utter something in her ear. Every time, she so badly wanted to move to allow him to know she was all right - a tilt of her head, a brush of her fingers. But she couldn't. She could not even allow the slightest motion, not even to swallow when he fed her the blood (even though there was no need with the way he tilted her head back). If she did, if she would have even have given in for a millisecond, her strong resolve would have shattered and she would not have been able to stop from screaming and writhing in pain.

The fire continue to burn her insides, something that even Jasper's cold arms around her could not prevent those flames from searing her body. The strongest points of pain centered at her heart and in her throat, the former of which had no sort of relief as did the latter with the vials of blood.

She didn't know when exactly thing started to feel differently. It was impossible to say. The first inkling of a change was in her toes. The burn there had seemingly evaporated. The same occurred with her fingers. The cooled relief traveled through her ankles, calves, knees, thighs and at the same time, moved along wrists and elbows and arms. Still, she refused to move them. The reason was because even though the burn was no longer in those appendages, it intensified in her heart.

As the rest of her body thawed from pain, her chest ached and burned unlike anything.

The only movement she allowed herself was to clench her fingers in order to keep from crying out as she so badly wanted to. It felt like her heart was racing, the sound of it clouding her auditory senses. Her chest felt like it was pulsing so strongly, so forcefully that they would all be able to see it, hear it too. Her hips and stomach were free of the burn, her face, her neck, her shoulders. All the while becoming more and more concentrated in her heart.

The hotter it burned, the louder it began until finally it seared to a halt. Bella gasped for a breath that would be her last as her heart quieted. Her ears were filled with the flatlining indication of the heart monitor, the proof that her own heart no longer was working. The fire in her chest was extinguished, but the one in her throat remained. Still, she was slow to open her eyes, almost fearing what she would see. This was a strange moment for her to encounter, her first glimpse of the world with new eyes.

And with new eyes, it seemed like a new _world_.

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, her eyelashes blinking a few times from habit as her vision adjusted. She could see everything - the specks of dust that caught in the dim light of the room, the crisp paint job covering their walls, the hint of dark brown branches through the far window, bare from the wintery season.

Everything was vivid, bright, brilliant. Everything was familiar and yet seemed different, intensified.

Turning her head, she looked for the only thing she wanted to set eyes on, the only person. But Bella was surprised not to see him still beside her. Her upper half lifted effortlessly as she sat up, no remnants of exhaustion or pain save for the flames in her throat. One by one, she searched the faces of her new family, recognizing their beauty even more fully under the new senses she acquired.

But they stopped when they caught sight of the most beautiful one of them all.

It was partially obscured however, something that she didn't quite understand. With ease, she pulled herself out of bed, extending her legs to the floor and rising to stand.

"Jasper?" she questioned.

She was the one who'd spoken his name but it didn't sound like her voice. This one was far too melodic, foreign, and it startled her for a moment. But the burn in her throat was very evident after she opened her mouth to speak. Her hand flew to her neck, as if she were afraid of the new voice that sounded when she spoke. But not even a second passed before she remembered her intentions.

Slowly, she took a few steps forward to approach him and the rest of the Cullens.

* * *

It worked.

Jasper had not failed in changing Bella into a vampire.

He'd watched as she underwent the otherworldly transition and endured the emotional pain he'd suffered as a result of biting her. Knowing he'd literally killed the person he loved most had affected him in a way that hadn't exactly been pleasant. For her sake, he'd internalized it so he could be a strong pillar for her while she was handling her own pain. He had a feeling it would come back to haunt him eventually, though.

Insecurity had come back to haunt him again, too. That was what made him get up from the bed when he knew the transition was complete. Now that he did not have to worry about something going wrong, he began to think about everything else again. Bella was going to see him. She was going to see him for what he was. She'd seen his scars before under harsh lighting and on the few occasions he'd stepped into the sunlight. It wasn't the same, though. The light did not portray the scars as vividly as she would see them now with her heightened sight. They also would no longer vanish when the lights went out. She was going to see them all the time, for forever. That is, if she wanted to.

And _that_ was where his insecurities took a cruel turn. Jasper thought of himself as hideous. Bella had told him several times that he was beautiful, and that she would never look away from him because of the scars. He appreciated that, and he wanted to believe it. However, he knew that there was a chance that things could be different now. He wouldn't blame her if she was repulsed by what she saw, or even feared him as most of their kind did. It would hurt him, but he would understand.

He did not want his monstrous face to be the first thing she saw when she awakened. The world around her was beautiful, and he did not want her first glimpse of it to be marred with his imperfections. Naturally, though, she called out for him. It caused Jasper to duck his head, blonde curls falling around his eyes. They covered the scar over his brow and the shame reflected in his golden gaze. He made no move to step out from behind Emmett, though more than anything he wanted to go to her.

Everyone else did not know what to expect. Newborns were very unpredictable, and there was no telling if she'd awaken with a bloodthirsty appetite, threatening to rip them all apart, or... what she was now. Completely coherent, asking for her mate and Sire. Esme turned to Jasper and took one of his hands, cupping his cheek with the other.

"What did you expect, my son? She needs you." The maternal vampire gently coaxed him out from behind Emmett, though Jasper moved at a snail's pace.

Bella's voice had sounded different, but with his hearing as sharp as it was he could still detect the same tone he recognized as hers. He did not raise his head just yet, for he was afraid of what she would think of him. He'd worn long sleeves and a buttoned shirt as well to shield her eyes from what he'd painted as the ugly truth. The rest of the family seemed torn with whether they should stay in the room or leave them for the time being. Carlisle took the initiative to usher them outside the door, but still well within earshot and sprinting distance that they could help should Bella's control break.

Jasper whispered, though he knew she'd be able to hear him as clear as day.

"Belle."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Finally! Bella is a vampire! As you can see, we obviously took a very different spin from the original series in that this was planned to an extent. We hope you all liked it! We know how you were waiting for this since Book One! The wait is over! Next chapter will be up this week! Stay tuned!

Let us know what you thought and if the wait was worth it for you! Cheers! x

**Lyrics:** Paralyzed - The Cardigans


	12. Chapter 12

_All systems go, the sun hasn't died_  
_ Deep in my bones, straight from inside_  
_I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones_  
_ Enough to make my systems blow_

_Welcome to the new age;;_

Bella felt like she was in a completely different world.

In a way, she was. The world that she so badly wanted to be a permanent part of now was the one that she was a fixture within and it was all happening at once. Even the way the light shined through the room was a reminder of how different things were now. However many times Bella had witnessed the sun coming up in their cozy room in their little house tucked away by the water, it looked completely differently now. It was setting, the rays not directly shining through the window.

Twilight.

Three days before at twilight, she closed her eyes and awaited for the pain to mark the end of her life. It had; it marked the end of her human life. And the pain was over with and there was an entire world for her to view with new eyes.

The only thing in that world she wanted to explore was currently… hiding?

Bella's brow furrowed when Jasper ducked his head upon her saying his name. She could hear Esme's words of comfort and didn't understand why they were necessary. They were true, however. Bella _did_ need him. She needed to look at him, to see his beauty with her new eyes.

She thought his reaction would be different upon her waking up. A large part of her thought that he would be the first person she would see, eagerly sitting at her bedside to ensure that she was okay. She was okay. Well, she hoped she was anyway. It was impossibly difficult for her to tell since she had never witnessed anything like this before, let alone gone through it. At least she was sure of the fact that she no longer felt any pain save for the ache in her throat that signaled she was in need of her first hunt.

But the burn of her throat was nearly forgotten when her concern for Jasper overtook everything else.

When the rest of the family left, he had yet to even look at her. As much as she didn't want it to, her own insecurities started playing into effect. What if he regretted changing her? What if he was already sorry that she was no longer human and instead like him forever? What if he couldn't forgive himself for allowing her to have her wishes fulfilled about the transformation?

These were the emotions she picked up from him, not realizing that his insecurity and fear was because of his own worries about his appearance. Instead, she feared the very worst. Something was wrong. Jasper regretted this. He didn't want this. Even as she was changing, he helped her along, but now that the process was complete, he couldn't even look to see what she had become.

"Am I messed up?" she asked softly, still not recognizing the voice that spoke but definitely understanding the reason for the words that were said.

If she still had a working heart, it would have ached at the realization that this had been a mistake in his eyes.

* * *

If Bella could have read his emotions for what they were, instead of just feeling them and having to guess, she would have known that he did not have any of those doubts about her. There was no regret, and any shame he felt was over his own appearance. She was perfect, and he was still the same monster he'd been before. Only now, she could see him that way all the time instead of just when he accidentally caught the light. It scared him. She deserved someone beautiful all the time. Someone who wasn't a monster like him. Once Jasper started down that emotionally berating path, it was hard to derail him from it.

Her fear and worry crept into his heart. Jasper could feel her insecurities and he didn't want that at all. Her question that followed confirmed that what he was feeling from her was correct.

Messed up? How could she think that about herself? She was beautiful. She'd _always_ been beautiful. This was what she wanted, what they _both_ wanted. How had he caused her to feel otherwise? Didn't she know why he was scared? This was a problem he'd had even when she hadn't been able to see his skin for what it was.

Still, he couldn't let Bella go on thinking that there was something wrong with her, especially when it was all _him_. Jasper shook his head, blonde curls swaying as he did so.

"No," he said. "Not at all. You're..." he finally lifted his head, putting aside his own pain and fear in order to hopefully relieve hers.

Jasper could see that she'd changed, her features turning to that porcelain look that all vampires had. But she was still Bella. He could see her in there, clear as day. "You're beautiful."

He lowered his eyes to his feet. "It's just that.. I.. I'm.. not. I know I'm not. I don't blame you if you're scared of me. Even my family was at first. They're used to it now, but.. I understand if you don't.. want me. You deserve better. You've always deserved better."

* * *

When Jasper explained, there were two parts of Bella that clashed and conflicted immediately.

On one side, there was tremendous relief. She didn't want to admit it before, but she had a lot more fear than she let on regarding her transformation. Not because of the process itself, but because she worried that Jasper would miss who she used to be. She wouldn't look the same, feel the same, even sound the same. Her touch wouldn't burn any longer and her heart would no longer tick with the same steady lull. It wouldn't make a sound at all. She wouldn't be able to fall asleep in his arms anymore or wake up curved around him, groggy and happy as she regained consciousness. She feared so _much_ that he wouldn't think of her quite the same or hold the exact same affections, even though they'd discussed this in the past and he assured her such was not the case. And so, hearing that he thought that she at least looked pretty was something that made her feel a little better.

It was the other part of her that was stuck with sadness. It all made sense when he continued on with his words. His fears hadn't been about her. They had been about _himself_. Even though they had encountered this issue before when he showed her his scars and when the sun caught his skin, it would be different to him now. She could see his scars. But then, she didn't at the same time. To Bella, they were hardly present because they were such an insignificant part of him. How they got there was a significant part of his life, of course.

But she didn't look at his scars when she looked at him. She looked at _him_. Jasper. That was all she saw.

And that was who she loved.

Closing the distance between them, she reached up and brushed his curls away from his face before threading her fingers through his hair gently. "You're all I _ever_ want," she said. "I'm not scared of you," she assured him, shaking her head.

"I know it will probably take another century for me to convince you that I think you're beautiful. But we have that time now and that _is_ what I think." She paused, brushing her fingertips very lightly over the scar above his brow.

"I think you're actually even _more_ beautiful to me now," she admitted.

And that was true. He was so gorgeous to begin with, but with her heightened sight, there was no hiding anything. He was completely himself, inside and out. To Bella, that was the most attractive thing.

Convincing him of such was another story, but he would be able to feel the genuineness of her emotions as she spoke. It was strange though. When Bella had just spoken with such deep-rooted truth to her words, she could recognize herself in her voice. Before, it almost sounded foreign, but assuring Jasper had hinted at the fact that it still was hers.

* * *

It would take at least a century and then some for Jasper to believe he was beautiful. While he did want to move on from his past and let go of all the pain he'd suffered as a result of it, he just couldn't. Every time he saw his reflection or looked down at his arms and upper body, he was reminded of what he'd done. The fact that he could feel emotions of others so strongly did not help either. He had gotten better in that he at least allowed himself to be around people and get close to a select few. When it came to himself though, that was another story. It was almost impossible for him to find anything good about himself, and that probably wasn't going to change.

As Bella touched him, he closed his eyes. Her skin no longer burned when she touched him. It felt normal, though he wouldn't go as far as to say it felt like any other vampire's touch. Hers was still unique to her, and still caused a rush of emotions to flood through him. The light caress to his brow stirred those emotions and out of habit he slid his arm around her waist. Jasper slowly opened his eyes and looked down at her. He immediately felt the strong pull towards her that told him she was his whole world, his reason for existing, his _life_.

That was the pull of a vampire to his or her mate. He'd felt it before, but it seemed stronger now, more solid. He only hoped she could feel it, too.

Her words and the emotions he felt from her did reach him. They weren't completely lost. Jasper knew she was being genuine and it made him feel very grateful that he could be with someone who could look past all of his imperfections and still love him the way she did. Jasper used his other hand to lightly rest against her cheek. He knew that this had to be a very trying time for her. She'd just undergone quite literally a life-altering experience. The last thing she needed to do was worry about him. Jasper brushed his thumb against her cheek and finally smiled. His hand shouldn't have felt like cold marble anymore.

"You need to hunt," he said, his golden eyes locked with her red.

She was eerily calm. Jasper had not been expecting that at all. Regardless, he feared that her calm could break at any moment. If that was the case, she needed blood in her system immediately. They probably could have tapped into the supply they'd gathered, but he knew that hunting would be better for her. The fresh blood would be more potent, and it would also allow her to explore her newly developed natural instincts.

* * *

Bella could definitely feel the pull. It never would have occurred to her before that the amount of love, desire, need for Jasper could ever be stronger than it already was when she was a human. She had already been convinced that she could not love him any more. But when he met her eyes just then, it was like electricity in the way she was so drawn to him. That look alone could have spoken volumes. She knew he felt it too – that was part of the assurance that his eyes gave her. There was no need to blink any longer. Such has just been a disruption in staring at him, something she would be content to do for hours, especially with her vision so enhanced. Every feature stood out vividly, every part of him that she already loved so much.

The disruption didn't come until he touched her skin. Her eyes widened immediately and her lips parted in slight shock. His touch felt unlike anything she'd felt from him before.

"Your skin," she marveled, moving her hand to hold it over the one he had against her cheek, trapping it. "It's.. You're warm," she said, still in awe of this new revelation. "And soft," she added when he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Of course Bella knew that her skin would feel different both in durability and in temperature, but she hadn't realized that his would be the one that felt different. They matched. Her mind flickered back to the night they spent in the hot tub at the Cullen's cabin in Oregon when she stated the same thing due to the tricks of the hot water. But this was no trick; this was now reality.

She was still marveling at this change, moving to place her other hand on his cheek, resting her palm flat against his warm skin. Tracing her fingers down to his neck, she had a sudden urge to run her fingers over every inch of his body, eager to explore this newfound similarity. But when he mentioned hunting, her attention snapped back to the present and the ache in her throat throbbed at the idea of feeding.

"Can we?" she asked with anticipation. It was clear that hunting was what she needed to do before anything else, if not for the relief of the burn in her throat, then for the safety of everyone within the household.

As they moved through the house to the back yard and toward the woods, she wondered if they should have stopped first to acknowledge the rest of the family. Bella knew they were all still in the house – she could sense them, something she couldn't do in the same manner before. But it seemed like they all already understood that she was in need of blood in her system. As she held Jasper's hand when they moved into the forest, she wondered if they were afraid of her. She wouldn't blame them – she knew how newborns were thought of. She was included in that category now.

"What do I do?" she asked attentively as she and her mate progressed forward.

* * *

This was something he had been very much looking forward to. It always made him feel terribly guilty when he'd see goosebumps rise from her skin while they were close together. Bella never complained about the cold, but her physical reactions couldn't lie. She had said before that she'd taken comfort in the cold his skin provided, that the contrast always let her know that he was there with her. But Jasper had told her before that the one thing he missed about being human was having warm, soft skin so that he wouldn't be so cold to her touch.

Now that she had been turned, they'd be cold statues to the rest of the world, but to each other everything would feel normal. Out of instinct he momentarily tensed when she started tracing his skin with her fingers, but he relaxed very soon after. She was not recoiling or showing any sign of fear, or disgust. Her touch was comforting and sweet. He, in turn wanted to touch her everywhere as well, but her thirst had to be their top priority right now.

He nodded when she asked if they could go hunting. Jasper was worried about her thirst, and was unsure of just how long she'd be able to be in control of her actions. He'd been around enough newborns to know that their emotions were so unpredictable that Bella was likely to flip from being calm to lashing out in a violent rage with no prior warning. The first thing they needed to do was let her hunt. That would at least curb what he thought would be her natural instincts to lash out.

They moved through the house quickly, without really stopping to see any of the others. They all knew that Bella needed to hunt too, and would have heard their conversation. There would be time to socialize later, but for now he needed to help her ease her thirst. They could use the woods on their property that they sometimes hunted in when they couldn't make trips out of town. He guided her down one of the wooded paths that would lead them deep into the forest, wanting to make sure they were far enough away from the house that she wouldn't be able to just turn around and run off without him being able to catch her or warn the others that she was coming and to stop her before she reached the town should something go wrong.

Jasper lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles before releasing it. "It's not as easy as following your instincts," he said. "Our instinct isn't to hunt animals. This is the hardest lesson I had to learn." He stepped away from her, but only a couple of paces.

"Listen to what you hear around you. Learn scents and sounds. You'll see them if you look far enough. You should have the scent and taste in your memory already from being fed blood during your transition. Look for it, trust yourself, and go. I'll be near you. Don't worry."

Jasper knew better than to follow too closely, though. Newborns were territorial and it was likely they would attack should someone get close to their kill. He'd stay close enough to keep an eye on her, but far enough away that she wouldn't feel threatened by him while she fed.

* * *

Bella nodded when he gave her all the advice he could have as far as the process of hunting was concerned. There was a flicker of fear in her that was only a result of the unknown. To her, this was certainly something new, but it was easily the most vital part of her new existence. If she didn't learn how to hunt on her own accord, she couldn't survive. Jasper was right when he said she couldn't rely so much on her natural instincts to feed because of the fact that they went against nature in the way they choose animal blood over that of a human. But there were other things she could rely on and as soon as she started to concentrate, she became aware of all of these beneficial features she acquired.

Closing her eyes, she was very still for a moment. Without the current use of sight momentarily, she was able to heighten her other acute senses. Sounds were vivid. She could hear traffic from the highway in the distance, deciphering between trucks and cars without a struggle. She could hear water moving in a stream somewhere to the left of them, even though the surface of it was encased in ice from the wintery weather.

Then there was a distinct scent of something – deer. Several of them. Six or seven from what she would guess. The scent of Jasper was still present in her senses and there was a burn inside of her that wasn't just in her throat when he was still somewhere near, but the fire in her throat overpowered it for the moment. The herd of deer wasn't far and she let the sound of their heartbeats and blood rushing take her there. As soon as they were in sight, she struck.

In less than a second, she'd taken down a buck. The taste wasn't very appealing, but the blood running down her throat soothed the burn.

Bella was so shocked at how… _easy_ it was. As a human, the idea of hunting and then killing an animal with her own hands and teeth was something that she couldn't grasp, couldn't really fathom doing herself even though it was so familiar when she thought about it in terms of the Cullen's hunting. But as soon as the buck was in her clutches, her teeth sunk through the layers in its neck easily and she fed.

When it was drained, she was even more shocked to find that the burn in her throat still existed. Shouldn't it have been gone?

She wanted to find Jasper, ask if something was wrong with her. Instead, she took off after the rest of the herd that had scattered when she intruded on them. This time she took down a doe, drinking until there was nothing left.

Bella turned when she stood again, eager to find her mate, to get feedback from him on her hunting excursion. She hadn't given him much time to give his input and she wanted so much to reunite with him, somewhat soothed by the blood she'd ingested. But then something caught her attention.

It was the crunch of broken twigs, paws on the earth. Without thought, she took off in that direction, tracing the new scent that infiltrated her senses. The smell was so much more appealing than the deer and somehow it was familiar. She couldn't think about how easy it was to move through the trees and other flora of the forest. She couldn't dwell on the fact that her body felt like air and that the speed she acquired was not only efficient but graceful as well. All she could do was move, whipping through the sparse foliage and twisting branches of the bare woods.

She paused when she was closer, taking in a breath and using the scent to lead her further. She was close. Very much like a predator, she crouched lower, steps slow as she approached what she was hunting. It was unlike when she'd hunted the deer in a fast fury. This required more thought, patience.

Her eyes finally locked in on her prey – a lithe, black panther pacing the grounds as if it were its own territory. Bella was about to intrude on it and overtake it as her own. The burn in her throat intensified as she stalked her target, moving quietly, patiently as she waited the right opportunity to strike. When it presented itself, she leaped gracefully, landing within a few feet of the carnivore.

Instead of giving chase, it growled offensively and pawed the air in the space between them with its claws, baring its teeth. The fire in her throat flared again and Bella's lips parted, her own teeth bared as she in turn growled low in her throat, an instinctive sound.

The panther didn't have a chance to strike before she did. The two of them clashed. The panther put up a fight, its claws tearing through the fabric of her clothes and attempting to break skin. But it didn't break like the weak material of her clothing. To Bella, the claws felt like tickles more than anything else, the panther's teeth like feathers as it made feeble attempts to survive. It was weightless to her, even though its mass was far greater than her own.

Within moments, her teeth sank into the artery in its neck, warm blood filling her mouth and sedating the fire inside of her throat. The cat still struggled as she fed but by the time she'd drained it, the animal was motionless, the helpless victim that didn't stand a chance.

Only when she was finished did she feel like the burn was dulled. Still present, but much less significant than it had been. Her stomach was full to the point where she knew she was unable to fed anymore or it would render uncomfortable. It was then that her attention fixated on one thing only.

Jasper. _Jasper_.

She had to find him. Doing so was easy; all she had to do was follow his scent.

"Well?" she asked into the trees, both with a hint of smugness and a hint of nerves, unsure of how she did in actuality but still feeling somehow confident.

She couldn't actually see him yet, but she knew he was somewhere close and she was going to let him come out on his own. It was obvious she had to improve, at least as far as making a mess was concerned. Her clothes were ripped and stained with blood. Red streaked her face and her neck, mingling with dirt from wrestling the animals to the dirty forest floor. But still, she was satisfied. She only hoped he would be too, with her.

* * *

Jasper did not want to tell her too much; he didn't want her to over-think this whole process. That could cause her to lose her control over the situation and that could prove to be disastrous for all of them. He told her the basic principles of hunting, and decided to risk letting her go on her own for the rest of the experience. He followed, watching her from afar, up in the trees mostly so he would not be tempted to get closer or for her to worry that someone was infringing on her territory. It was weird; for once he was not the student being taught the discipline. Jasper was typically the one in Bella's position, with Carlisle as his mentor. He wasn't sure that he was the best teacher; Carlisle would have been the more obvious choice. Still, Bella had wanted him and now they were out for her first hunting experience.

As she stalked the deer, he was impressed. She moved with much more agility than he would have expected, given she was still a newborn. Typically they did not go through the process of stalking, but rather just struck and went for the kill. Their thirst controlled them, and strategy was often an after thought - if that. Jasper wondered if Bella's thirst had been slightly satiated at the start because of him giving her a steady supply of blood during her transition and that was why she was able to control herself. It fascinated him a bit, to think that it made that much of a difference. He studied her movements, and watched as she struck down two deer. She did not seem to be finished, though, as he found out when she continued to hunt. Jasper followed at a safe distance, fighting the urge to run at her side instead.

He perched in a tree and observed as she hunted the panther. Again he was astounded at how calculated and precise her movements were. Even as she fought the wild cat, Bella was clearly in control of her actions. She was fighting, yes, but she knew what she was doing. It was Bella guiding herself, not her thirst forcing her to do so. That was very odd to him, and would eventually lead to him questioning a lot of previous thoughts about himself and his way of thinking.

For now though, he was just focusing on her. There was something very alluring about watching her hunt. Her movements, her scent, just the sight of her was drawing him in. He knew it was the natural pull he had towards her, but there was more to it than that.

He needed her.

Once she'd finished draining the panther of all its blood, he started to move, but paused. He waited as she got up and looked around, then spoke to him. That made him smirk a little. She knew he was there, which meant she knew his scent and could sense his presence. Jasper descended from the tree and closed the distance between them. She was a bit roughed up from the hunt, but all he saw was beauty. There were traces of blood all over her, which... enticed him. He breathed in, and immediately he was overtaken by the scent.

Bella, combined with blood... it was a bit overwhelming. In the best possible way. He found himself unable to resist sliding his hands down her waist to rest on her hips as a grin pulled at one side of his lips.

"You got a bit of blood on your face," he murmured, already leaning down and pressing his lips to her cheek. Slowly, he started to kiss all the blood away, sweeping his tongue down her jaw until he reached her neck, all the while his hands squeezed her hips and pulled her closer to him.

* * *

It became obvious pretty quick that Jasper thought she did well on her first hunting excursion. He didn't say much, at least not directly when it came to how she managed and if she would do all right when it came to hunting, but Bella immediately decided that she liked his methods of communication much better. The pull he felt towards her was mutual on the other end as well.

Bella was so _drawn_ to him. The moment he was in sight, she could feel it like a pulse beneath her skin. It was as if her heart was on fire and the blood in her veins was rushing, even though neither was possible any longer. It was an unexplainable feeling that words wouldn't do justice, but that Bella knew Jasper understood perfectly without the use of them.

There was a flicker of embarrassment that somehow slipped in even after Jasper's hands were on her when he said she had blood on her face. She hadn't minded so much until he pointed it out, but she wasn't keen on the idea of looking like such a mess in front of him, even under the circumstances. That was… until he started kissing her face.

His lips felt feather-light on her skin, soft as pillows instead of marble. And they were _warm_. Just like his tongue. His tongue, which she had never been able to experience the feel of before. Before, that had been against the rules, forbidden. But now…

Now Jasper was the one who was playing with boundaries, emphasizing the fact that there no longer was any.

Bella shuddered and it was clear that it could not have been attributed to the chill of his lips any longer. It was on account of the fact that she was so…. _turned on_. When he pulled her hips closer to him, she gladly obliged, pushing hers against his own. Her arms wound around his neck and she dipped down to nudge her nose beneath his chin, coaxing his head upward to be more level with hers; at least to the point where her eyes could fixate on his mouth, the source of the delicious shudder he'd caused.

"You have a little on you now," she said, eyes meeting his for just a moment before darting back to his lips again. "Let me just help you take care of that," she murmured.

Her tone sounded seductive without effort when before she would have claimed it sounded awkward when she was trying to be enticing. Without another moment of hesitation, she pressed her lips against his, marveling at the way their mouths molded together.

* * *

They had not really taken the time to be affectionate since her awakening. Insecurities had kept him from being at her side when she woke up, and with the family being there as well it wouldn't have been like them to show such a tender exchange. There was also the whole concept of her being a newborn and none of them knowing what to expect. Bella could have very well awakened as a rabid, out of control being that they had to help tame. She hadn't, which was pretty remarkable, but Jasper had never seen a newborn being raised under Carlisle's care. He imagined it was possible for it to be different, but he did not let that idea keep him from being on his guard.

It was difficult to _stay_ on his guard when they were engaging in this sort of behavior. Ever since they'd developed romantic feelings for each other, he felt this emotional need to be with her all the time. It was the way vampires felt about their other halves. She was his reason for living, she was what made this existence worth everything. Jasper knew that Bella loved him with all of her heart, but he also knew that their bond would strengthen now. Everything she felt would heighten. She would understand the intensity of their love so much more clearly. She would understand why his heart physically _hurt_ when they were apart. He did not want her to ever experience that pain, of course, but he was glad that she would feel all of the things he did at the same level.

Jasper slid one hand up the curve of her spine and the back of her neck before threading his fingers in her long, dark hair. His other hand shifted around her waist to pull her flush against him. His eyes opened briefly to meet her gaze as she spoke, his lips just a bit stained with the blood he'd been drinking off of her neck. Her seductive tone made him want her more, and he could feel that she was needing him too. There was no sense in denying it, or denying themselves. He kissed her back, but he was still hesitant to use too much force. It was a difficult habit to break when he'd spent so much time being so cautious of the fact that he could crush her if he held her too tight.

* * *

Bella felt like she would be doing it an injustice to say that she didn't have the strongest feelings she could have possibly had for him when she was a human since right now, they felt so much stronger. But the fact of the matter was, that while Bella _was_ a human, she _did_ have the strongest feelings she was capable of.

Now, it seemed like everything was so much more intensified, including the ability she had to feel a deeper, more unbreakable connection with him. It was such an unexplainable thing but she would understand the way he felt now without question. She would understand that ache whenever they would be parted from here on out, though she hoped that such wouldn't be very often.

Every touch amazed her. When he pulled her against his body, she was waiting to feel the marble statue-like feel that she had grown used to, the only way she'd known Jasper to be since they were together. But instead, she molded easily against his form. As well as they fit together before despite their differences, it was as if they were made of soft clay now, easily crafted to suit the other. And that kiss…

It was as if they'd never kissed before. It felt so different with the texture of his lips being so forgiving now. It was like they were begging to be kissed by hers and Bella was all too happy to comply. She hadn't had time to really notice any of the physical differences that she now possessed after the transformation, but Jasper seemed to be getting a first-hand account of all of them.

Even though he was kissing her back, Bella knew he was being cautious. It surprised her considering his bolder actions a moment ago when his tongue moved along her skin, but it was certainly evident. She had kissed him enough times to know when he was holding back. Even when she was a human and he always had to exercise some caution, she could tell when he was being less hesitant and more lenient in letting her push him a little bit physically. She wanted to pause and ask him if this was all right and if something was wrong, but before she could, the hand that she'd moved from behind his neck to rest on his hips brushed against a bit of bare skin on his sides where his shirt and sweater had ridden up when they got closer.

Fascination.

That was what she felt when the accidentally brush of fingers brought the feel of warm skin with it. She paused in kissing him for a moment, moving her lips to his neck. She figured that would be a good remedy if he wasn't comfortable with kissing her right now as she somehow suspected. Instead of pulling away though and asking him, she pressed kisses to his neck so that both of her hands could move to his waist, dipping beneath the fabric of his clothes and further marveling at the feel of his skin. She made a pleased noise when she explored the flesh, so in awe over this new revelation (which she would continue to be probably for many times to come after being so used to something different).

So eager to feel more of it, she lifted at the bottom of the garments to tug them upwards slightly. Even though she had no intention of taking it off him just yet – she was just happy exploring – she wouldn't get the chance.

The smallest tug she gave to coax it further up his stomach resulted in the soft fabric ripping within her grasp. The sound literally made her jump, and for a moment, Bella froze in horror at her own strength. It was similar to a situation they'd had when she was still human. She had been so embarrassed then and feelings of the same nature came flooding back now. There had been a reason he was cautious in kissing her and instead of inquiring about it or respecting it, what did she do?

Started ripping his clothes off.

Stepping back quickly, she was a good twenty feet away from him, hands clenched behind her back and looking as if she were about to be very scolded.

"I'm sorry," she uttered in her bell-like tone. "I swear I didn't mean it. I was just pulling it up a little," she said. If she was still capable of it, her cheeks would have burned red with humiliation. "I know you were being hesitant," she said, "and I was respecting it, I swear."

* * *

Jasper knew it was risky for him to put her in a position where she'd give in to her desire, especially while they were out of the house. He tried to rein himself in, but it wasn't easy. He was touching her gently out of habit. For so long he had to maintain a certain level of caution, and that had also spilled over into how he touched her now. It was going to take some getting used to for him to break away from that. It was also very much in Jasper's nature to be gentle, despite how much of a monster he believed himself to be. While he could be a violent demon, feared by his kind, he was a gentleman too. Somehow he'd need to find a medium between the two extremes. He would, but it would take some time.

He made a soft sound when her fingers ghosted over his skin. Her touch didn't have the same fiery heat that it had when she was a human, but it hadn't lessened any of the sensation he felt when she touched him. It had magnified, really. Letting her touch him was something he was both very eager to do, and had reservations about as well. He had been dreaming about how much more appealing it would be for her to be able to touch someone who did not feel like a statue any longer. He knew it would be better for her, no matter how often she said she loved the way he'd felt before. At the same time, he was afraid. She'd spoken just before about how she thought he was beautiful, but she hadn't seen everything yet. A scar over his brow and the few that were visible around the collar of his shirt were nothing compared to the hundreds that marred his upper body. It wasn't so much that he was afraid of what she'd think, it was just that he wanted so much _better_ for her.

He was caught between those two extremes, struggling with how to give in to his own desires while still coping with his insecurities when he felt the front of his sweater and the shirt beneath it rip up the middle. Mere seconds later, Bella had retreated several feet away from him. He felt her shame and worry, and it left him stunned momentarily. He looked down at his shirt, then back over at her. She looked miserable. Jasper feared she'd seen something she did not want to and didn't know how to react to it except to flee. That scared him, but he'd been fearing that from the start and he did not blame her.

But then, she started apologizing for tearing his shirt. _That_ was what she was worried about.

Jasper touched the bottom of his shirt, what was left of it, and in a bold move, he pulled it and the sweater up over his head and dropped them at his feet. She'd need to see him eventually, and right now she'd need to know that he wasn't upset with her for what she'd done.

"Belle," he said, his drawl slow and sweet like honey as he spoke his pet name for her. He moved to her slowly, opening his arms to her. He knew he was hideous, but, he hoped that his love for her would be enough for her to come back to him.

"Please, don't ever run from me."

* * *

Bella had a lot to get used to. There were so _many_ changes that occurred since three days prior and getting used to them would take decades, if not for longer. She knew this going into the transition. It was not a surprise and yet, it was still something that she found herself struggling with. While some things came naturally like the hunting had, there were things – bigger things in her opinion – that needed to be reevaluated to cope with. The fact that being so physically involved with Jasper had been such a danger before made it difficult initially to find common ground on which to build a bridge between then and now. _Wanting_ to be close to him wasn't in question it was just a matter of what was acceptable when it was all still so new to the both of them. When he showed caution in kissing her, that was exemplified.

As it was with her reaction to the accidental tearing of his shirt. She reacted just as she would have had she still been human. If it wasn't such an embarrassing situation initially, Bella would have been happy with the fact that her mannerisms held true and that by reacting how she did, she was still being herself.

She was still just _Bella_.

That was the biggest change she had feared – that she wouldn't be the same person. Right now, however, she wasn't thinking about that due to her shyness. Being shy around Jasper wasn't something that she expected to feel anymore, but after making a mess of his sweater, she couldn't help it. It wasn't easy to recover from something that made her feel like a 'harlot' and clothes ripping was certainly something she could have picture from Scarlett O'Hara. Not herself, even though in truth, this was the second time it occurred.

She watched him cautiously as he took his shirt off entirely, a move that she wouldn't expect going off of how insecure he'd felt even to have the smallest bit of skin exposed before. Just as he had then, Jasper appeared just as beautiful to her, just as attractive. To Bella, he _was_ flawless. Without question, she would never look at any soul like that, living or dead or anything in between. The way he said her name melted away anything negative she could have felt. His voice was so enticing without even an attempt, honey-like with his hint of an accent. Even if she tried, she couldn't resist him.

Situating herself in his arms, she embraced him cautiously at first. "Even if I tried, you'd catch me before I could," she pointed out.

But she didn't want him to mistake the fact that she had no intention of running from him. Ever. If she ran, he'd be with her and they would be moving together. That's how it would be for the rest of eternity, no matter how strange and new everything seemed at the start regarding her changes. His warm bare skin paired with his scent – her favorite that was now stronger than it even had been when she was still human – caused her to tighten her hold on him, wrapping her arms around him as tight as she could to hug him close to her.

* * *

Jasper knew that she had a lot to adjust to. Her entire world had been uprooted and transformed entirely. Or rather not the world, but herself. _Entirely_ was perhaps a bit too extreme, too. She was still Bella of course. But she was seeing the world as she knew it through different eyes. She was feeling, smelling it, hearing it, and even tasting it differently than she ever had before. That was going to take a lot of getting used to, as was just her existence in general. Her movements, mannerisms, instincts, all were altered. He wanted to help her in any way that he could, and to do so he knew he had to remain a sturdy pillar for her. Even if everything else in her world had changed, he wanted to make sure she knew that his love for her and their relationship was still strong and would not ever waver.

"I don't know about that," he said with a small smile as he held her against him. "You're pretty fast now. Faster than all of us for the time being."

He loved how she'd tightened her hold on him. It was not tight enough to hurt him, though she could have if she held much tighter. She was holding tighter than she had as a human, though, and he could most certainly feel the added pressure from her grip. It felt nice, almost as if they were closer. Jasper knew that she had no intention of running from him, though. He felt nothing but love and need from her. She wasn't going anywhere. Her emotions reflected his own almost identically; they both even had some insecurities about themselves. She was still unsure about her newly transformed self, and he was unsure about his own body. Above all else, though, they loved each other. Neither of them were going anywhere.

Close as they were, he could never feel close enough. Jasper's hands slid under her shirt, disappearing beneath the fabric. One hand slid up her back while the other brushed against her side. "Bella," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear.

He breathed in her scent, stronger to him now and absent of blood. He could finally take it in fully now without feeling the fiery burn of his thirst trying to overpower it. She smelled so sweet to him; it was intoxicating. He started to lightly rub her side, while the fingertips of his other hand splayed across her back. His lips pressed to her temple, then down to her jaw where it met her neck. He wanted to feel her skin against his, to show her how it would feel. He wanted her, to be with her always, to touch her everywhere, kiss every inch of her. His emotions and needs were building and stirring within him, growing stronger with every caress and breath of her hair.

"I need you," he breathed into her ear, clutching her side a bit more desperately.

* * *

It was strange to go from being the weakest to the strongest. Bella was such a fragile, breakable thing before who always felt as if she were a hindrance rather than a help whenever there was a need. She was the one who always needed protected, looked after. But now she was just as strong as the others. Stronger even. Yes, her actions were uncontrollable – supposedly, in any case; Bella felt like she was quite composed and in control of everything she did thus far – but she was still not the weakling anymore. If there was ever a need to fight, she wouldn't be behind the sidelines waiting. She would be right there, right beside Jasper. And so when he smiled about her speed, she felt a surge of confidence. It was a benefit to her new changes.

There were others that they were exploring now as well.

She had marveled at the way his skin felt beneath her fingers, but she didn't stop to think that it would equally as enticing when he touched _her_. She recognized the difference in temperature and texture when he stroked her cheek before, but when his hands caressed the bare skin of her sides and her back, it was entirely different. For a moment, she was perfectly still, statue-like with her eyes closed. She was trying to experience everything to the very fullest – the way he spoke her name, the way his hands moved under her shirt, the way he breathed when he inhaled her scent. That sent another surge of confidence in her. He was seemingly taken with the way she smelled and now there was no question that he was attracted to the scent of her blood.

Bella could no longer wonder if he was tempted by her blood or her body. The former was no longer a competing factor. She didn't move until his lips were at her ear and he was confessing his intention. Her body shuddered involuntarily, again, not because of the temperature but because of the _words_, the way in which they fell from his lips. The desire and sheer want that she could feel coming from his was strong, unwavering, and it mimicked how she felt herself. The collision of their matching needs was so much more intense than it ever had been before.

And it would _always_ be like this. That was a fact that left Bella speechless, in awe.

She was not in awe enough to keep from pulling back to meet his eyes. Hers were crimson, his gold, yet, the look in them was the same. And she certainly wasn't speechless enough to keep from voicing a request.

"Kiss me."

* * *

Her words were firm, like a dare and in a way they were. She was telling him not to be careful. She was letting him know that she was clearly not going to break anymore and that was worth taking advantage of.

For as long as he'd known Bella, Jasper had always maintained at least some control. That is, except for the few moments in time when he'd slipped and nearly caused her death. But it was because of those instances that he was always so, so guarded around her. While it was true that he was a tender lover and would have been very soft and gentle in his touch most of the time anyway, there were almost always moments when he was holding back, restraining himself, and keeping himself in check. He knew it was very possible and highly likely that he would cause her harm or even kill her if he did not. Even still, there were moments when he wished he could let himself go and touch her as his body desired. He wanted her to feel just how much he wanted her, _needed_ her. To all but worship her body with his touch. Now, it seemed, he could.

The best part was that Bella's needs and wants reflected his. She had always hated being breakable, he knew, and now that she wasn't she also wanted to explore what exactly that meant. Jasper was fairly reserved by nature, so for him to just let go all of the sudden and give in was not as easy as it might have seemed. It was also a bit foreign to him not to have those urges to kill her, to drain her of every last drop of her blood. Even to smell her without feeling any sort of pain was unfamiliar.

It was also _wonderful_.

Jasper had been afraid of what she would think of him when she awakened as a vampire, but what he was discovering was that he could be more like himself, and she really loved that. It was so comforting that it nearly washed away all of his insecurities.

Her request, near demand, was not ignored or misinterpreted. Bella wanted to be kissed in a way he'd never been able to kiss her before. He understood it clear as day, especially because he wanted to do that, too. It was hard to break himself of the habit of being careful, but he had to start somewhere. Jasper kept hold of her, his fingers pressing into her skin. He leaned down again and pressed his lips against her. It began as soft, but the intensity grew each time his lips kneaded against hers. His lips even parted a bit to deepen the kiss further. No, he'd never kissed her this way. It had always been so chaste, so cautious. But now, he was kissing her openly, deeply, with no intention of stopping anytime soon.

* * *

One of the best elements of their relationship was that the two of them could convey such a multitude of things without ever uttering even a single syllable. A lot of that did have to do with Jasper's special ability to connect with emotions in the manner in which he was able, but more of it had to do with the fact that they were meant for one another. They were so similar both in their general mindset and in how they felt about one another, that words almost seemed trivial at times. It was amazing how much that seemed to be strengthened now that they were of the same species.

In the intimate moments like these, it was the most obvious. Of course, it was always nice when words accompanied the emotions. Now was an example when he'd said her name and she'd made her request, both with more reading into their tones than the actual words themselves. But stronger still was the look they had, locked on one another and then, when he did fulfill her wish to be kissed, it was apparent that she was never meant to kiss anyone else for the rest of her life, a life that was now eternal. He was who she was supposed to be with. The picture might not have looked that way when they'd met, but it was crystal now. That was what mattered and to Bella, the future was a lot more promising than a lot that both of them had in their pasts.

Whatever hundreds of kisses they had before, thousands maybe – none could compare to this one.

Even the first one they'd shared after she was changed that took place a few minutes before wasn't like this one. He understood her desire, her _need_ for him to be himself with her entirely. There were no more boundaries or potential threats. He wasn't holding back and that was unmistakable in the way his mouth moved against her. Bella gladly met his slower pretense and certainly did not complain when he deepened the kiss and parted his lips against hers. She'd thought there were a few kisses that he gave her when she was still human that were intense, but intensity was a foreign word until she was kissed in this manner.

Winding her fingers through his hair with one hand at the back of his neck, the other one pulling him closer by settling on his lower back. The soft sound at the back of her throat was another indication that she wanted more of him. Her mouth parted against his and her tongue swept against his lower lip without reserve, no longer needing to pull away before he could _push_ her away.

* * *

Words had never been something that were necessary between them. They were an added luxury that let them speak their feelings and what they needed to convey, but everything that was in Jasper's heart was expressed through his emotions and his actions. She would be able to feel all of what he felt, from his love to his desire. When he held her, the way his hands clutched at her body and his arms enveloped her could speak volumes alone. Currently, he was holding her tightly against his body, his fingers curled into her and clutching her in an almost desperate manner. He couldn't get close enough. Moreover, the way his fingertips caressed her skin as he held her spoke of his desires, how much he wanted to be touching her everywhere.

They were allowed more freedom now in the way they touched and kissed. He never felt incomplete when he was intimate with her before, but right now, they had so much more to be able to give each other. He could hold her exactly the way he wanted to, and kiss her as passionately as his lips could handle. Jasper knew that Bella was exploring all these new degrees of passion as well. She also had to hold back at times, never overstepping the careful boundaries they had to stay within when they were together. Their kisses, however deep, had always been very chaste. Close lipped, and never anything more. This was not the case any longer.

They were tasting of each others' lips for the first time, tongues meeting slowly, as if being introduced. It was far sweeter a meeting than he could have ever imagined. As intoxicated with her as he'd been before, it increased tenfold. He smiled against her mouth when her tongue touched his lower lip, but didn't hesitate before he slipped his own past her lips and introduced what she'd been missing.

He wanted her, needed her, and could never get enough of her.

Her hands on his body were another element that fueled his desire. She'd slid her fingers into his hair, which could be both a move to soothe him, and to stir his desires. It worked both ways, and both were settling over him right now. His need for her was increasing, while at the same time her fingers in his hair soothed him and eased his insecurities. Her hand on his lower back was tempting, if only because it was her skin on his. Jasper kissed her deeply, his tongue tracing her upper lip as one of his hands slid around to her front. Quickly, he unfastened the buttons down the center, unable to wait any longer. This was the need a vampire had for his mate. Nothing else took priority over that. To him, right now, nothing else mattered in the entire world. There was only the two of them, in this moment right now.

Jasper finished with the buttons of her shirt, but did not remove it right away. Her hands were still on him and he did not want to break that contact. Instead, he ran his hands over her upper body, pulling her against him once more. The moment their skin met, he sucked in a sharp breath and clutched her tightly again, then kissed her deeply once more, his tongue in her mouth.

* * *

It was like everything was happening for the first time again. He was kissing her for the first time, touching her skin for the first time in an intimate way, expressing desire for her. In a way, it was the first time. Everything felt so different now that _she_ was different. She imagined that for Jasper, it would be the same way. He hadn't changed, but in terms of how he felt to her, he had. He'd always expressed how he wished he could be warmer for her and now he had that wish. In that sense, he'd changed without going under any transition himself.

Either way, the new experiences made each one all the more intense. A vampire's need for its mate; something that Jasper had experienced more than once in the past but that Bella was only just realizing now. It was incredibly how much more deep the connection ran, how much more intoxicating the emotions and desires were. Every touch he gave her exemplified that in the way it made her feel inside. Her inner emotions were reflected in her outward actions. When he unbuttoned her shirt, she pressed closer to him, eager as he was to feel skin against skin. Jasper may not have wanted to remove the garment fully, but Bella decidedly needed more and thus decided to take care of that. Releasing her hands from him, she shrugged the shirt from her shoulders. Before moving back to where they'd been previously, her fingers deftly released the catch on her bra, letting it fall away from her body so that between their upper halves, there was no longer anything separating the two of them.

Bella couldn't help but to make another soft sound when she pressed against him. Her breasts were more sensitive parts of her anatomy and thus when they came in direct contact of his skin, her desire heightened considerably at the pleasurable feel. The high surge of passion that continually was being elicited in her was cause for her actions to be much more confident, forward even. Her hands pushed at his shoulder, coaxing him backwards until his back hit one of the thick, bare tree trunks. The entire time, her darker lust-filled eyes never left his.

"I'm beginning to love hunting," she said lowly.

Then she kissed him again, letting her fingers run down his chest until they reached his pants and quickly – she was surprised at how gracefully and easily she could move her body now – she had them open and was working them down his hips.

* * *

It truly did feel somewhat like they were experiencing everything for the first time all over again. Yet at the same time, it was all incredibly familiar to him. Jasper knew every curve and slope of her body; he knew every sensitive place, he knew what would make her shiver, moan, and sigh with pleasure. He'd taken great care to memorize every inch of her body, and that had not changed. She was still Bella, but it was different. He didn't have to guard himself so carefully around her anymore. This did not mean he was going to man-handle her or cause her harm. He wasn't going to be rough with her, or anything of the sort. That just wasn't Jasper. He was a gentleman, no matter how strong his desires were for her.

And they were strong.

They should've gone back to the house. Being out here, letting Bella give into her desires like this was such a risky thing to do. It wasn't like Jasper at all to be so reckless, but he wanted this so badly, wanting _her_ so badly, he couldn't help but give in. There was no way they were making it back to the house before giving in to those desires. All Jasper could think about was Bella, indulging in her, worshiping her body, giving her everything he had to give. He no longer had to worry about crushing her when they embraced, or suffocating her for kissing her too long. He could feel the surge of confidence spreading through her, and experienced it as she pushed him back against a tree. Jasper growled playfully and clutched at her hips, squeezing lightly.

He was not feeling quite so insecure anymore, though the fears were not completely gone. It was just that his desire of his mate was far stronger than any insecurities he might have. His growl came deep from his throat, but Bella, now being a vampire like him, would surely know the difference between a growl of lust and one of aggression. If anything she'd be able to _feel_ the difference because of his power. Jasper let her push his trousers down and he too had begun to remove the rest of her clothing.

It was all too tempting not to give in to his animalistic instincts. Once unclothed, Jasper spun them around and pressed her firmly against the tree with his body. He took both her hands and pinned them above her head, then kissed her deeply once more.

* * *

Bella would have put money on the fact that when she was still a human, Jasper never would have pinned her anywhere in the same manner in which he was. Actually, the closest thing had been, not in a time of passion, but in a time of fear when she was bleeding and he was second away from making her his prey. If that situation had not been so frightening, it would have been seductive in a way with the way he reacted to her body. Rather, to her blood. She appeared to be his prey now, but in an entirely different manner, and it was only her body now that tempted him as opposed to anything else.

His actions were arousing. They were, of course, in the most obvious ways such as her body craving his when he reacted in such a tempting manner, but there were more unorthodox ways that his maneuvering made it all the more appealing to Bella. When she was human, she was a fragile thing that could break at any moment. She knew this, of course. But that didn't mean that she didn't hate being treated like a breakable object. She wanted to be equal with him, especially after the two of them became so intimately and romantically involved with one another. Jasper had done his best to take care with her while still trying to keep in mind that she didn't want to be preserved like a glass figurine.

Now that she was not going to break, she was pleased that he was being a bit rougher with her. He would never hurt her, of course, and they both knew that. But she liked how it felt to be treated like a lover instead of a liability.

Without her hands, it was like he took away one of her senses. The sense of touch was not fully rendered useless though. That was obvious in the way Bella still moved against him. But when she was incapable of running her hands over his body, she had to settle for other ways of getting him closer. One of her legs curled around one of his and her hips pressed into his in a manner that was almost begging without words. Her words, however, were just as pleading when she did decide to use them.

"Jasper, please," she all but whimpered against his mouth, thrusting her hips forward against his again knowingly. Body language was effective enough, but she had no qualms in verbally letting him know how badly she wanted him. _Needed_ him.

The fact that she could feel the heat from his arousal pressing against her skin did not help to keep her patient by any means. It was a heat she'd never felt before, a delicious sort of burn that she wanted to familiarize herself with much sooner rather than later.

* * *

Jasper could feel how eager she was. It reflected his own need, which was good because it meant they both were in the same place. Being able to feel her need just made him want her all the more. It amplified everything he was feeling and it showed in the way he touched her and kissed her. The desire between two mates was unmatched by anything else, save for the love between them. It was liberating for him to know that she understood that feeling now that she was a vampire. She could feel everything to the same degree that he did.

Her pleas did not go ignored. Jasper was happy to give her anything and everything she wanted. Right now, she wanted him, and he was more than willing to give her all of himself. It would be no secret whatsoever that he wanted her; she would be able to feel it physically as well as emotionally. Jasper continued to kiss her, all the while wrapping his free arm around her waist. He lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around him. Securing her against the tree, he slipped his arm out from around her and pressed her back against the cool bark.

He slipped his hand down between their bodies, as his lips trailed down from her lips. Jasper kissed her neck, suckling lightly at her skin as he tasted her. His hand moved down between her legs, his fingers lightly stroking her center. His kisses moved lower, tracing across her collar bone, down to her breast. His hand tightened around her wrists as he closed his lips over the peak of her left breast. All the while his lips moved against her, his fingers teased her.

Jasper had her pinned tightly to the tree, so much so that the bark began to give. No doubt they would break the tree if he got too aggressive, but for now he was just testing its durability.

* * *

Jasper hadn't changed at all, and yet somehow, Bella was convinced she was seeing all these different sides of him all of a sudden. Of course they had been sexual with one another before – one of the most telling times had been when they were visiting Jacksonville. But this was different. He was being bolder, feistier. Bella had a feeling he knew exactly what he was doing and when she was in a better position, she vowed she would show him the same sort of hold. In the silent promise she made to herself, she decided that she would show him exactly what he was doing to her and how eager he was making her. He seemed almost… _devious_ in a way, however unfitting that seemed to be for describing Jasper, but the way he was teasing her now was something that he was controlling and so perhaps the wording was not all that farfetched.

Even though there was such an emotional pull between the two of them, right now it seemed like physicality was overruling everything else. Everything was mouths and fingers and skin on skin. Her legs tightened around him when he lifted her against the tree and no move was made to try to unlatch her hands from his grip. For now anyway. She had been expecting him to enter her fully when he lifted her, but his different direction made her gasp in something that was a mixture of disappointment, pleasure, and awe.

Her hips bucked against his hand almost the moment his fingers touched her so intimately. It seemed impossible to be silent, but yet, words didn't seem to register with her either. Each time she tried to speak, a moan left her lips instead or a wisp of a gasp. Vocabulary wasn't her strong suit when his lips moved over the sensitive skin at the peak of her breast and instead of feeling chilled as she would have in the past, she felt as if she were on fire.

"_Jasper_," she said, her tone edged now when she managed to say his name again.

She couldn't form words further than that to explain that she needed to feel him inside of her, but she gave him a good guess at what she was getting at when she thrust her hips against his hand again and tightened her legs around him like a vice.

* * *

While in Jacksonville, they'd definitely engaged in their most intense sexual experience to date. Yet even that had been restrained. Jasper could have easily killed her just by holding her too tightly. There had been times when he'd bruised her body despite handling her with such care and tenderness. His inhuman strength had been the culprit, coupled with the fact that before he and Bella had gotten close he'd never really interacted closely with a human unless he was killing them. Things were different now, though. He could touch her as much as he wanted and with any level of intensity.

In fact, it was more likely that _she_ would break _him_ now.

On that trip, they'd both done something to each other that they'd never engaged in before. The use of their mouths in directly pleasing each other had been a very, very pleasurable experience. He had not been able to fully participate in it because of the fact that his saliva was venomous. It still was, but Bella was now very durable. It wouldn't hurt her. Still, having her pinned up against a tree wasn't conducive for pleasing her with his tongue. Instead, he continued to use his fingers.

That is, until she called out to him again.

Jasper knew that tone. He did not need his power to know it well. He knew exactly what she needed, because he needed it too. Jasper lifted her up a little more after slowly sliding his hand away. At the same moment, he released her wrists and gripped both of her hips. He lowered her back down, raising his hips and sliding his arousal inside of her slowly. He moaned at the feeling, pulling out, then sliding back in slowly.

* * *

It was true that Bella could be the one to break him instead of the other way around on account of how strong she was now. She hadn't even fully experienced her strength in a lot of ways yet. That would take time for her to get used to. She knew Jasper would tell her if she was holding him too tight or if she was hurting him in any way, but she hoped they wouldn't be at the point where he would need to calmly explain to her that she needed to be careful with him.

Right now, though, she wasn't being so cautious. As soon as her hands were free, her arms wrapped around his neck. When he moved inside of her – finally, it seemed in her eager eyes – a groan left her lips. The sound mingled with the one that he uttered from his own mouth and together, it sounded like the harmony to a melody, fitting pieces of music.

When he was fully within her, Bella felt complete. There was no other way to describe it any better. It was a wholeness that only a mate could provide and to Bella, that was what he was in every sense of the word.

It was hard to keep still once he was inside of her. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back against the trunk of the tree momentarily but other than that moment of stillness, she was reacting physically to their connection. It was easy to find the rhythm of his hips and the match it with her own. The sensations were different, partly because she was changed now and partly because they'd never been in this position before. Bella quickly decided she liked it and was a big fan of the sensations every time he moved in and out of her. Moving her hands, one of them held the side of his face to try and steady it so she could kiss him even though they were both in motion. The other hand came to rest on one of his shoulders, clutching onto the skin there.

Bella wanted this to last forever but because she had been so eager, so quickly, she knew she was going to finish a lot sooner than she would have liked. That was something else she vowed to make up to him later. In fairness, she did try to warn him as much as she could. If her body's more sporadic movements weren't enough, especially with her hips, then her broken sentences hopefully would have helped.

"Jasper… I'm… I…"

Her words were in gasps and gave way to a moan that was the end of trying to speak and the beginning of a climax that shook her entire body and made the trunk of the tree they were against quiver as a result. Her cries were not exactly _quiet_ and perhaps she should have been more mindful of the fact that they were well in earshot of the rest of the family with their acute senses, but that was the last thing on Bella's mind as her hips rocked against his. When the waves of pleasure finally started to subside, her hold on him did not loosen. Instead, she remained attached and intertwined, pulling at the air for breaths even though they were unnecessary now.

* * *

It was very true that they'd been acting on their desires, and their actions had thus far been based heavily on their physical need for each other. Touches, kisses, actions had been fueled by lust, but that wasn't all that was there. Love was also heavily present, as well as an undefinable _need_ for each other. No one else could fill this need save for the beautiful vampire he had in his arms. He loved Bella so very much, and needed to make sure she knew that. He did not want his actions to be mistaken for lust alone, or for her to feel he only wanted her body and nothing else.

Jasper felt her reach her climax, and wanted her to be able to feel every ounce of pleasure to the fullest. He continued to move within her, rolling his hips and pressing in deeper each time. It felt incredible, and he knew she had to be feeling her pleasure at a more heightened level than she had in the past. Not only because of the difference in his body temperature, but because as a vampire she would feel _everything_ to a different, higher degree.

"Belle.." he breathed against her hair, nuzzling her as she rode out her climax.

But he wasn't finished with her yet. Not even close. And with her immortality brought along the fact that she would not be exhausted after making love.

He pulled her against him, rather than the tree. Gracefully, he lowered them both to the ground and laid her down gently onto the grass. His arms slid beneath her, resting against the slope of her back to lightly lift her. Jasper kissed her passionately, holding her lovingly as he did so.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips. "I love you so much."

Though to others he might seem aloof and distant, he was incredibly passionate with his emotions, and Bella was the object of his desire, love, and adoration. She would receive everything he had to give. He looked deeply into her crimson eyes, still seeing the girl he fell in love with despite her now being a vampire as he was, and slid back inside of her again.

Holding her close, he started to move slowly within her, knowing she'd still be very sensitive to touch.

* * *

Jasper wouldn't have to worry that Bella could only feel lust from him and nothing else. Of course it was obvious that lust was a strong factor, even stronger _was_ love. That was what she could feel coming from him, not only in the intimate ways in which he moved inside of her and touched her, but emotionally, it was the strongest thing between them. Lust and love were often so easily mistaken. It was almost impossible for a female – and probably many males too, for that matter – to look at Jasper and his beauty and not lust after him. But she was lucky enough to not only love him, but to be loved by him in return. She, of course, still saw the same beauty others did and wanted him on a more passionate level, but there was another side to that and it went a lot deeper than physical appearances.

Her eyes never left his from the moment he lowered the two of them to the ground. If she was still human, she would have probably gotten hypothermia from being naked against the cold earth in the middle of winter, but all she could feel was warmth from Jasper's body being pressed to hers. Her heart was warmed too, even though it no longer functionally worked. It only responded to him now instead of an involuntary need for survival. His words ignited it.

"I love you too," she spoke against his mouth. "Forever," she added, promising.

They had that time now, with nothing standing in the way it seemed. Time was working with them now instead of against them which was a welcomed change. Everything was a ticking clock in Bella's eyes when she was still human, but that weight no longer existed in her mind.

Neither did exhaustion, she quickly learned.

Having just had such an intense orgasm, Bella had been expecting to feel exhausted and sluggish as she had in the past. But there was no trace of either. Instead, there was only excitement, both from the realization that she could no longer be concerned with wanting to fall asleep right away, and because he wasn't finished yet. Her eyes widened at him with this new awareness and she eagerly moved her hips back against his. A laugh left her lips at her own eagerness though, when she came to understand that she was still sensitive to the touch and perhaps there was a reason he'd slowed down at first. Burying her giggles against his neck, she kissed the skin there and wrapped her arms around his back.

"I'm sorry," she said with a grin against his lips. "I'm not used to having all this... _energy!_" Her hips pushed up into his a bit roughly once as if emphasizing the rather pleasing point.

* * *

It did not completely shock Jasper to find that Bella's energy level was still just as high as it had been before. He knew she would no longer feel fatigue or exhaustion. That was to be expected now that she was a vampire. Still, her eagerness and the expression of that newly found energy did momentarily surprise him. Though he'd been expecting it somewhat, he still was shocked a little when she so quickly started responding to his actions. He _certainly_ hadn't expected her to laugh in the midst of it. For a brief second he thought maybe something was wrong, or that he'd done something foolish, but that only lasted for the duration of the blink of an eye.

He smiled down at her, his lips pulling more to one side than the other giving his smile a bit of a sideways tilt. That was her smile, that spoke his love without him having to say it. It was endearing, the way she held onto him and grinned at him the way she did. It felt amazing to connect with her on this level, so much deeper than they ever had before - and that was saying something, for certain. The motion of her hips rising up to roughly meet his told him that thought she was sensitive, she was absolutely ready for more. That made him feel more confident in what he was doing, and that by giving her more he was giving her what she wanted.

He kept one arm beneath her to support her back (though she honestly probably did not need it), while his other hand anchored firmly to the ground. His fingers clawed into the grass, clutching at it as he held himself up. His hips moved against hers, harder, faster than before. He did not have to hold back for fear of crushing her now, and that was something he was going to savor at this moment.

This still was not quite as animalistic as their actions had been before, against the tree. It was much more intimate in the way they were positioned, and the fact that they were so tenderly holding onto each other. But the pace at which he was moving his hips had increased considerably, and the depths he reached were unfounded. He moaned against her lips, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten. All his muscles were taut as the build up towards his own climax increased.

* * *

The smile he gave her was indeed her smile. It was her favorite. It was so characteristically _Jasper_ and though many would have disagreed with her on account of the fact he always seemed so stoic in the presence of others, Bella knew the truth. In a way, she felt a little bit smug when she thought about how rare it was he showed off that sideways tilt of his mouth. It was something he reserved and she was usually around to see it when he displayed it. More than that, she was often the one who caused it with her silly antics like her offhand speech just now. It was almost worth humiliating herself at times if it meant she could catch him smile like that.

Bella knew him well enough in the bedroom to know the signs when Jasper was getting close to finishing. His movements were quicker, less even. His breathing was always faster, even if it was unnecessary, and he was usually more vocal than her was prior to when he was near his climax. Being pressed so closely to him, she could actually feel his muscles contract, something that was masked by his colder temperature and marble-like frame before. Before he reached that peak though, she decided to put some of her new strength to good use and change things up slightly. Rocking her body against his and keeping her arms around him, she rolled the two of them over until their positions were switched and she was the one on top.

Before, he would have needed to assist her in doing such a thing since she wasn't capable of moving someone of his strength. But now it was fluid and graceful, almost effortless as if she simply imagined her being on top of him and suddenly, it happened. The feel was different when she was on top, but it was just as pleasurable. Just because their positions were switched, she didn't want him to stray from how close he was to reaching his climax and so her hips continued to meet his in the same quick, harder motions. She knew it wouldn't be long until she experienced another peak of her own. Leaning down, she met his lips for another heated kiss.

* * *

Making love to Bella while she was a human had been an experience he'd never had before. She was the only human he'd ever been with intimately. He'd been able to feel things he'd never felt before, and be with her in a way he'd never been with anyone else. It was something he would never forget throughout his eternal life. However, he also knew that being with her now as they were, he'd never forget that either. It was entirely different, and yet very familiar all the same. This moment especially meant a great deal to him because he felt like he was giving himself to her fully for the first time. There were no restraints anymore. The passion between them was raw and uninhibited. She was going to know exactly how he felt and to what degree he felt it.

He had not expected her to change up their positions again. It was a pleasant surprise to experience. He'd been perfectly happy as they were, but when she changed their positioning, he felt even better. It showed him how much she wanted this. He did not fight her when she flipped them over, instead just shifting onto his back while she perched over him and continued to move her hips against his. Jasper's hands were immediately on her hips and waist, clutching her tightly. He did not lay there for very long, though. He did not feel close enough to her as they were, even though she'd leaned down to kiss him. He returned the kiss, squeezing her hips as he did so.

Without breaking the rhythm they'd created for themselves, Jasper sat up. He kept her in his lap, his arms wrapping around her to hold her as she moved against him. He wanted to be pressed against her as much as he could. This would keep them intimately close, which was exactly what he wanted. He kissed her deeply, pulling her hips hard against his. His own hips were rising a bit off the ground to meet hers, but it was difficult when he was so close to his climax. He wanted her to reach another first, so he held out as long as he could.

But he couldn't hold off forever.

He felt her inner muscles tightening around him and that was all it took. Jasper clutched her body tightly, as the muscles in his back and stomach grew taut. His orgasm sent jolts of pleasure through his body, releasing into her with each rock of his hips. Only when he was finished did he slow his hips to a stop, and even then he did not let her go. His embrace grew tighter, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck, panting despite the fact that his lungs did not necessarily need the gasps of air.

* * *

One of the things they had in common with one another was the fact that they didn't like distance between them. That was an important element to hold similar feeling in regards to considering it was a big part of any relationship. There were some couples that liked to have their space and others who were perfectly content in always being with their significant other. While they did have space between them at times (at least when she was still a human; it might even be considerably lessened even more now that she was a vampire), both of them struggled with the idea of ever being apart.

Now that she was changed, it was a testament to the fact that they wanted the lack of distance. Eternity ensured that. Being of the same species ensured that. There would be no need for them to be apart any longer unless they chose to go their separate ways for a day for whatever reason. Before, he would have to hunt and she obviously couldn't tag along. Now she could. They would surely still have periods of time where the men in the Cullen family would want to spend time together, but she would still have Esme and even Rosalie in those times. It would have to be like that until she was calm enough to be around other humans.

Even Jacob. But that was a matter she hadn't yet considered since she'd woken up.

Either way, she was more than content being close to Jasper at every opportunity. That was why she didn't have any qualms when he sat up and pulled her close to him as they continued to move with one another. Her body settled against his, comfortable in this new position while still being so intimately entwined with him. A part of her wished she could have prolonged her own pleasure for longer so she could watch him experience his fully, but it wouldn't be possible. When Jasper reached his own climax, he brought Bella to her second. Burying her face into his neck, her cries were somewhat muffled though still ever-present as waves of pleasure washed over her yet again. Her fingers curled into his hair, but she reminded herself to be gentle.

When they both stilled and quieted, she moved her arms around him, holding him close to her as she gently ran her fingers up and down his back. Her lips connected with his jaw, kissing softly until she reached his lips, pulling back just slightly to kiss him properly.

"I love you," she whispered, a prelude to another gentler, lazy sort of kiss.

* * *

Under previous circumstances, Bella would have been well on her way towards falling asleep. Jasper had never minded this. He liked to watch her sleep and guard her from nightmares. He loved to hold her throughout her slumber, and feel her subconsciously curling into him despite the cold. He'd always felt guilty about the cold part, but he knew there was nothing he could do about that. Until now, anyway. He was no longer cold to her, which was a relief. But she also no longer would feel the need to sleep. That was evident now in how she was still very much awake and her energy level the same. It was going to be very nice to be able to make love like that and instead of her falling asleep, able to stay up with him and enjoy basking in the afterglow as they were now.

"I love you too," he whispered between kisses.

He was very content to just hold her, but with the way her arms were around him he felt as though he was being held too. It was very comforting, and he completely indulged in it. For a long moment, he closed his eyes and laid his cheek against her shoulder. She should have been able to feel his true love for her pouring from his heart, and it should have been to a higher degree than she'd ever felt it before.

Jasper had lost his sense of time. He had no idea how long they'd been out hunting, or even how long they'd just been embracing as they were now. It didn't matter to him at all. For him, there was no one else in the world other than the two of them. They would eventually have to leave this special world created for the two of them, and return to reality. For now though, he was perfectly content to stay with her in this tender embrace. He could be warm for her, which was something he'd dreamed about for months. Bella no longer shivered in his arms, not from the cold anyway, and that meant the world to him. That meant that they could stay this way for as long as they wanted.

And he had a feeling that would be for quite some time.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Just as you probably thought, Jasper's fears were for nothing. Now that Bella has become a vampire, they are closer and more bonded than ever. But when has it ever been entirely smooth sailing for these two? You'll have to read on and see what happens next! Let us know what you thought! We love hearing from you all. Cheers! x

**Lyrics: **Radioactive - Imagine Dragons


	13. Chapter 13

_Honestly can you believe_  
_we crossed the world while it's asleep?_  
_I'd never trade it in 'cause I've always wanted this_  
_and it's not a dream anymore ;;_

Bella would have been content to stay wrapped up with Jasper for hours upon hours like they were in the middle of the forest, but it wasn't exactly the most logical thing for many reasons.

For one thing, and it was easily the most important thing, there was a house full of people who were eager to know how she was coping with her new capabilities, especially when it came to hunting. It was the first time she was hunting as a newborn and that was a dangerous thing; they all knew that. Even if they might have guessed that things had gone all right since Jasper hadn't called for help, Bella still felt guilty for keeping them all wondering. She knew, even though they were some distance from the house, that the rest of the family still remained, waiting. She could sense their presence and when the breeze blew through the bare treetops, smell them as well. Each was distinct but none was as potent or as appealing as the one that belonged to her mate beside her.

The two of them looked something of a mess. Her clothes had been torn in her hunting excursions to the point where she couldn't put the tattered fabric back on and look entirely presentable. Her jeans had tears in them, but they were not as bad as the top. She insisted, though, that he keep his sweater for himself, though it was also torn. That had been on account of her hands instead of any animal he'd fed upon. She'd felt guilty about ruining it and when he offered it to her to cover up better, she declined to accept it for that reason.

When they arrived back at the house, she made sure to stay behind him to conceal herself a bit better. While the Cullens were like family and the reason for her appearance was innocent (unlike Jasper's), she still didn't feel exactly comfortable with bits of her skin or her undergarments being exposed. Nobody seemed to even notice though. At least, nobody mentioned her clothes when they first returned.

All except Emmett, who didn't seem to stop snickering from the moment the two of them entered the house.

Carlisle had a dozen questions.

He seemed to be so fascinated with her transformation on account of the fact that it was unlike any that he'd seen before. Not only had she been so calm and still throughout the majority of it, but she was someone who voluntarily chose to be bitten. It wasn't because she was on the brink of death or because she was tricked into it as Jasper had been. Instead, it had been her choice. He mainly asked questions he already knew the answers to – yes, she had been in pain. She refrained from detailing how much. They'd all been through it and it wasn't likely they'd forget that experience. More than that, she didn't want to put Jasper through pain by admitting how much she'd actually been in.

She told them how she had been conscious of everything around her, all of them being there and looking out for her. When he started in on questioning them about the hunt, her face would have blushed if she was still capable. Jasper seemed to pick up on her nervousness and to her gratitude, stepped in. He assured his family that everything went well, that he and Bella were both fine, and that they would talk more about it later on, inviting the family to come back the following evening. It was still a bit risky for Bella to travel to the other side of town or else they would have gone to the Cullen's.

Bidding goodbye to them, Bella returned Esme's hug and listened to motherly figure whisper how happy she was that everything went well, complimenting her newfound beauty before she pulled away. Again Bella would have blushed at that, but not nearly as much as she would have when Emmett paused upon exiting to ask what sort of animal they'd been hunting that moaned when it was dying and called out Jasper's name.

Bella could still hear him laughing when they were nearly a mile away.

When the two of them were alone again, a shower seemed to be the general consensus of what came next. Bella was eager to get out of the same clothes she'd been in for days and wash away the dirt, blood, and grime from her first hunting trip. And from rolling around on the earth with her fiancé.

It would have been prudent for them to have bathed separately because it seemed to take even longer for them to take a shower together. But it was difficult for the two of them to be separated and neither one of them seemed to mind when the water turned a little colder from standing under it so long. When they finally did get around to stepping out of the steam and were helping one another dry off with the big fluffy towels stocked in the bathroom, Bella paused.

Looking up at Jasper, she asked if she could have a moment alone.

* * *

No, their state of undress did not go unnoticed when they returned to the house. It wasn't something that could be helped, though. Most of it could be attributed to the hunt, but the state of his sweater had led to suspicions of other activities they might have engaged in.

Might have?

It was naive to believe that his family was oblivious to what they'd been up to. Fortunately, they all knew how private he and Bella were about their affection for each other and left it alone. Except for Emmett, who could not resist making a comment before leaving. Jasper knew he'd be hearing a lot more about it the next time he saw his brother, but he'd be quick to remind his big bear of a brother that he and Rose had been in some pretty compromising positions themselves - including taking down an entire house in the midst of their passion.

After the other Cullens left, Jasper took Bella upstairs to shower. It was easily the most logical thing for them to do given how dirty they'd gotten while outside. He had no intention of separating from her, which resulted in them showering together. It wouldn't have taken much convincing for Jasper to take her again while in the shower. Being in such close, intimate quartesr with her and again in a state of complete undress made it very tempting. But Jasper remained a perfect gentleman.

That is, a gentleman in the presence of his nude lover. The way he touched her and helped her wash away the dirt was full of tenderness and adoration. There was a touch of sensuality, but that was only natural. When the water went cold, he barely even noticed. Only when they were finished washing each other did he step out of the shower and wrap a towel low around his hips. He shook his hair somewhat dry, the damp blonde ringlets clinging to the sides of his face. He helped her to wrap up in another towel, out of habit for concern of her warmth.

It surprised him a bit when Bella asked for some time alone, but he did not take offense to it. He knew it would not be for long. The pull to each other was too great for them to separate.

Jasper left the bathroom and walked to his portion of the dresser in their room. He removed a pair of soft pajama bottoms and shed his towel, then slipped the pants on. He fiddled with the drawstring until it was tied, though the pants still slung loosely on his hips. While waiting for her, it gave him some time to think.

It still was odd to him how calm Bella was. She had not once mentioned her thirst since they'd returned, nor did she seem even that bothered by it. He'd written it off at first as a freak occurrence, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore that this was not at all what he expected.

* * *

The reason for Bella's request was because she'd caught a very brief glimpse of herself in the mirror.

It hadn't been until that point that she realized she still hadn't seen what she looked like since she was transformed. She didn't know why she felt the need for it to be a private moment, but it seemed like it was something that would be better for her to be alone for. Shutting the door, she eyed herself in the full mirrored back of it.

This was such a strange, momentous thing. Her eyes traveled from her head to her toes, all the while searching for similarities to how she used to be. Initially, she felt overwhelmed with a sense of satisfaction at her overall appearance.

She was beautiful. Even she would have been lying to deny that.

Her skin seemed flawless, paler than she'd been before like a cream silk sheet that had been draped over some sort of marble. She dropped the towel from around her to survey her naked body, the limbs sleek and strong. She ran her hands over herself - over her collarbone, her breasts, down the curves of her waist and hips, marveling at the difference. She was still having trouble believing this body now belonged to her.

But it did.

When she moved her fingers, the beauty in the mirror followed. She looked like she belonged in a painting or should be preserved as a sculpture in some great museum. Never before had she really taken any interest in her looks. Bella had always considered to be very plain, just ordinary. Especially when she was in the company of vampires. Now that she looked as if she belonged with them instead of the odd, ugly duckling, she couldn't help but to be pleased. She studied her face next, the way her lips still looked slightly uneven, the top one a bit fuller. That was something that made them curve into a grin. She _did_ exist in this strange vision. Her hair was long and dark, contrasting in a striking manner like chestnut on snow, especially since it was still wet.

Any traces of a grin immediately vanished when she finally met her eyes in the mirror.

Instead of the chocolate color she was used to, they were a vivid dark red. She actually recoiled for a moment, taking a step back and closing them. She'd forgotten how they would look, especially since the Cullens didn't possess the same shade. Blinking her eyes again, she focused on everything except her eyes, trying to think positively with the improvements to her appearance otherwise. She moved to the bathroom closet and pulled out a bit of green from behind the towels stacked there. Slipping into the lingerie, she admired herself again in the mirror. Now she _really_ had trouble seeing herself in the mirror.

The attire had, of course, been something she'd gotten with her mother when they were in Jacksonville. It was one of the pieces Bella felt more comfortable in, however. The garment was a satin chemise, the only embellishment a tiny bow around the waist and a ruffle at the middle of her thighs where the nightgown fell to. It was simple but elegant, and definitely edged with sex appeal. The forest green color stood out against her dark hair and pale skin and though it made her slightly nervous since he'd never seen her in anything similar, she figured this was a pretty good occasion to try it out.

Toweling her hair off a bit more from the excess moisture, she finally turned off the light and moved to join him.

"How long will my eyes be red?" she asked, still the thing weighing heaviest on her mind.

Much more than the rest of her appearance currently. The red eyes were something she associated with negativity – the Volturi, the newborns, Victoria. And now her. She was eager for his answer, coming to stand behind him near the dresser.

* * *

Bella's transformation had indeed altered her looks. That wasn't to say she didn't still look like herself. Jasper could see her clearly, despite the differences. But what had happened to her was part of the process; she was turned into the ultimate predator, just like the rest of them. They were beyond aesthetically pleasing. It was what lured their prey - human beings - to them. Jasper couldn't remember much about his human looks, save for the photograph they'd found at the library once before, but he knew that he hadn't been as handsome as he supposedly was now. To him, though, Bella had been every bit as beautiful as a human.

He also knew that she didn't like being the center of attention, or having said attention called to her looks. That, along with the fact that he viewed her the same as he had while she was human, were reasons why he had not made much mention of her looks. Though, the attention he'd given her outside in the woods probably spoke volumes about what he thought of her beauty. Only a blind fool would be oblivious to that. It still shocked him that she wanted to be close to him, what with all his scars. That was not to say he thought Bella to be shallow, basing her opinions on looks. He just knew how hideous he was, and he thought she deserved better. This was something he'd probably never get over, though he was trying.

When she emerged, he immediately knew she was coming even before she opened the door. He had sensed her movement. Jasper smiled and watched as she approached. Her attire was beautiful; delicate and simple, but fit her body beautifully and made him want to touch her all over again. It was new to see her in lingerie, but he liked it. A lot.

Her question, though, caused him to frown a little.

"It's hard to say," he answered, honestly. "For a vampire consuming human blood, the eyes will remain vivid like this for nearly a year. But since you'll be drinking animal blood, I don't think it will be for as long. Carlisle will be able to answer better than I can. A few months, maybe."

He lightly traced his finger along the soft satin of her night gown, playing with the bow around her waist. "I love this. You look beautiful."

* * *

His answer gave her mixed feelings.

On one hand, it wouldn't be anytime soon that she would see a different color in her eyes when she caught her reflection in the mirror. But on the other, it could have been worse. She had no plans on letting human blood into her diet so she hoped that by continuing to hunt animals, the shade would change in a few months like Jasper said. That was slightly disheartening considering it meant there was no way she could see Charlie during that time. Of course she hadn't been expecting to since it was still so early in her transition, but it was just a reminder that she couldn't. Either way, she did plan on asking Carlisle about it as per Jasper's suggestion the next time they saw the good doctor.

For now, he distracted her when he made mention of her attire. A childish part of her wanted to look up at him with excitement and wide eyes and exclaim how happy she was that he liked it. That part was still unsure of how to act as if… well, like she _should_ be wearing those clothes. Luckily that part of her was stifled by her desire not to look foolish. Lifting an eyebrow up at him, she smirked a little.

"That was the idea," she said.

She was finding it was easier to be confident when she thought back to the women in the mirror. Her lines and curves were all in the right places, skin and features seemingly flawless. She perhaps still didn't make the connect that she was the same person as that woman – that would take time, she realized. But she was happy to allow that memory of her reflection to drive her confidence. For once, she didn't feel so inadequate when standing with her significant other. Jasper had a lot of issues regarding his body image, but he was so gorgeous in Bella's eyes and to her, she always fell short. In a way, she felt like she was giving him a present of sorts, a gift of beauty in a mate. He had been used to that beauty with his previous relationships and Bella had certainly felt the insufficiency when it came to comparing her looks with theirs. He always insisted that she was pretty in his eyes and though she knew he wasn't wrapped up in looks, she still had that hint of smugness that she could measure up now.

* * *

Jasper had never been much for skimpy lingerie. He'd grown up during a time when modesty and virtue were highly valued. Corsets were the raciest garments women wore beneath their dresses and petticoats, and as a human Jasper had never seen a woman in anything less than her entire ensemble. The only exception might have been a time or two when his mother was in her underdress, but he couldn't even recall that happening.

That was not to say that Jasper was a prude, nor could he not appreciate the idea of a woman wearing something that made her feel desirable to her mate, her husband, her lover. And he was sure that behind closed doors, women of his time had probably done so. He was obviously not trapped within the traditional days of waiting until one was married to give in to desires of the flesh. He was a passionate lover, as devoted to giving pleasure as he loved receiving it. Had Bella chosen to wear some sort of intricately laced and ribbon-tied garment, he would have appreciated it. He would have appreciated _her_ no matter what she wore. But that wasn't Bella, and he knew it.

Jasper was very taken with her when she came out of the bathroom. He took a little more time to admire the delicate nightdress, touching the soft fabric gently. It made him feel good that she'd worn it for him, thinking it would like it. Naturally, he loved it. His golden eyes roamed her body, as did his hands. They'd already entwined in passion since her awakening out in the woods, but somehow right now, he felt much more connected to her. They were in their home, their bedroom that they would share for many years to come. Everything suddenly felt more real to him and he felt himself falling in love with her all the more.

"What other ideas did you have..?" he asked, his smile curving up to one side in a small smirk.

He knew he should be careful; she'd already engaged in behavior that tested her control over herself when they'd made love in the woods. It would be risky to do so again before she'd consumed more blood. But he simply could not help it. Despite knowing the risks, his pull to his mate was too strong to deny. Nor did he want to fight it. He never would, never could. He was hers forever, and he never wanted to stop devoting every part of himself to her for as long as she would have him.

* * *

Sometimes it was easy to forget how different their upbringing was. Jasper had grown up in a completely altered time period from when Bella did. His had been prided on respect, modesty, and refinement whereas Bella had been exposed to the modern world's obsessions since birth and they were not nearly as genteel. Yet somehow, they seemed to have mixed and matched quite nicely. Jasper seemed to go against the strict-mannered ideals of his time when it came to being with a lover and though Bella was not outward with her sexuality, nor did she flaunt a desire for it in the presence of others as some her age might have, she certainly was not able to be as discreet with it when around the boy she loved.

That was clear now when she, too, matched the smirk that was on his face. There were plenty of ideas that ran through her mind when she witnessed how low his pajama bottoms sit on his hips and how much of a delectable expanse of skin he had showing as a result. He might have been turned on by what she was wearing, but Bella was turned on by what he _wasn't_. Her fingers trailed down his sides until they came to rest at his hips, giving them a squeeze.

"Exploration," she said simply, meeting his eyes.

Her gaze continued to linger on his as she slowly walked him backwards towards their bed, keeping her hands on him. When they reached their destination, she pushed her hands gently against his shoulders to coax him to lay bed. Bella didn't stray too far behind though; as Jasper shifted back against the pillows, she crawled over him, almost cat-like in her movements.

Leaning down to meet his lips for a kiss, she started off slowly before progressing to a deeper, more involved liplock. As it did, she reached between them to untie the bow around her waist, sliding the satin sliver from her nightgown and draping it over Jasper's eyes. She smiled against his mouth as she nimbly tied the delicate fabric around his eyes, securing the makeshift blindfold behind his honey-colored curls.

"No peeking," she warned.

Her fingers then ran down his arms, seizing his wrists and lifting them up so she could maneuver his hands around the intricate wrought iron swirls made to look like growing ivy on their headboard. He wasn't bound there, but her words provided another warning.

"No letting go."

* * *

He could feel her desires just as strongly as his own, and lucky for him they were both wanting each other very, very much. But he did not need his powers to tell him that. He could see it in her eyes as she looked him over, and feel it in her touch as she ran her hands over his upper body. He could hear it in her voice, and sense it in the pattern of her breathing. She would be able to feel it pouring from his fingertips as he touched her, desire spilling from him into her. It was also in his stare. Jasper knew that he was never going to lose that desire for her, no matter how long they were together. This spark, this need, this pull towards her was never going to go away or fade. He would want her just as badly one hundred years from now. That was a comforting thought to him, as he hoped it would be for her.

He was surprised, to say the least, when she took control of the moment the way she did. They had shared some very passionate moments together, and during their intimate time in the woods together Bella had shown her newfound confidence and ability to take control when they had sex. But she'd never really done anything like this before.

She'd certainly never blindfolded him.

Jasper made no motion of protest when she walked him to the bed, and laid down willingly. He frowned slightly in confusion when she started to tie the ribbon around his eyes, but didn't say anything. He let her lift his hands up and curled his fingers around the bed frame. Depending on what she did to him while he was in this position, he knew it was very likely he'd break the bed.

"Belle.. I.."

He didn't know what to say. He was so turned on by what she was doing, but nervous as well. This was very risky. Letting her have total control over what they were doing, knowing that the very control she held could slip at any moment; he was putting the whole town at risk, wasn't he?

So why was it that the only thing he cared about was what she was going to do next?

"..I understand.." he said softly, laying back against the bed.

* * *

The desire between them staying the same for years to come was indeed something that comforted Bella. She knew her feelings for him would never waiver, be it intimate or otherwise. She held assurance with that and feeling the same coming from him only strengthened that comforting knowledge of their bond and attraction for one another being an eternal thing.

Having him blindfolded provided her with a lot of benefits. For one thing, it added to her confidence. She might have thought she was beautiful now, but she still was a little self-conscious about her new change in attire. It wasn't something she was used to, let alone Jasper being accustomed to seeing it. That was something she wouldn't mind exploring a little more, but it would take some getting used to. The scary undergarments would still be on the back burner for awhile. For now, it was all right for her to slink around in the satin nightdress while she made good on her promise to 'explore.'

With all of her new abilities, she wanted to take advantage of them. In a way, her actions reflected the fact that she was still getting very used to them and that she was impressed with how agile she was about to move. Crawling off of him, she moved to one side of the bed, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. In the next split second, she was on the other side, laying a kiss to his forehead. A small laugh left her mouth with amusement. She was keeping him guessing and that was the idea. Another pause, another swift move and her mouth was kissing a trail just above his navel.

"Where will I be next?" she teased softly in his ear, the proceeding kiss being placed just beneath it.

* * *

Even if there was the slightest chance that one day their desire for each other would lessen, it was completely obliterated by Bella's actions towards him. He knew without a doubt that he would never stray from her. A vampire's senses were all heightened, but the same rule applied to them as it did to humans. Take one sense away, and the others grow stronger.

Jasper could not see due to being blindfolded, but the rest of his senses were on high alert. Everything she did was something he could feel, hear, smell, and taste. He could feel her body against his, her lips as they kissed his body, feel her breath mingling with his skin. He could hear her movements and her voice. He could smell her scent, breathe it in with every breath he took. And he could taste the venom rising in his throat as he swallowed in anticipation of what she was going to do next.

This little game, as fun as it was, also had another effect on him. Aroused as he'd already been, it was almost painfully obvious now. Especially as her lips trailed south towards his navel. His breath hitched and his stomach muscles tightened, the defined lines growing taut in his abdomen as her lips trailed across the sensitive skin. He didn't know how she could bring herself to kiss his marred flesh, but right now, honestly, it wasn't at the forefront of his mind. While that was something that often baffled him, all he could really think about now was where her lips were going to be traveling next. He wanted so badly to release his hold on the bedframe and tangle his fingers in her hair.

But that wasn't part of the game.

"Belle..." he breathed her name, his lower body aching with need.

Even his pajama bottoms, loose and soft as they were, felt constricting and added to the discomfort. He had not completely lost his composure yet, though. He was trying very hard to remain calm, despite the fact that his muscles were starting to tense.

"Show me.. Where you're going next.."

* * *

One of the points of this little game was based on the actions between them in the forest after they'd been hunting animals and started hunting one another instead. When he'd pinned her against the tree, she didn't have the use of her arms and in that instance, it was as if she were dealing without one of her senses. It exemplified how heightened and in fine tune the rest of them were as a result. She wanted him to know what that felt like, especially in a pleasurable manner. Jasper always played along when she asked him to. She knew he'd keep the blindfold where it was and his hands positioned just so as she'd requested. For now, anyway.

But Bella didn't know if his patience would wear out sooner rather than later. Based on the way his lower body was reacting involuntarily, there was enough indication that he might not be able to endure too much more of her teasing. Still, she'd meant it when she said her ideas revolved around exploring. Her map was his body and though she familiarized herself with it on several occasions, it was different now. Now, she was looking at him with new eyes. Now, even more importantly, there was no need to rush. She could literally spend hours upon hours just kissing every single inch of his skin and would have absolutely no qualms in doing just that.

In fact, that was her intention.

Instead of telling him where she was going next, she spoke without words when her lips pressed to his for a kiss. It was lingering, a slow gesture that while not frenzied, was every bit as passionate as some of their more heated kisses. Her lips kneaded softly against his, taking time to meld together, a perfect fit to their puzzle pieces.

The kiss caused her to get lost momentarily, too enveloped in the way his tongue felt against hers, the way he tasted. For several minutes, she couldn't bring herself to even pull away from his mouth. She realized how much more of him she wanted to taste, but kissing Jasper always was a mind-consuming thing; she couldn't just be so easily tempted to pull away. But the reason she was able was on account of the fact that she _was_ eager to explore the rest of him.

Her lips were always slow, never rushing her kisses to his skin. They trailed down his chin, tracing his jawline down to his neck. There, she spent a good couple of minutes tasting his skin, lips and tongue trailing over the spots where his pulse would have read, and down to his collarbone. She kissed along the ripple in his skin where the bone lay beneath before kissing her way down the flat plane between his pectoral muscles. Her mouth was lazy as it moved across his chest, fascinated with the way the flat of his nipple felt against her tongue when she closed her lips around one of them. She was perched atop of him by now, a thigh resting on either side of him as she leaned down to continue exploring her lover's body.

* * *

While he certainly would have liked the use of his hands, Jasper wasn't complaining about his current position at all. His beautiful mate was showering him with attention, affection, and desire. The only thing he would have enjoyed more was if the tables were turned and he was bestowing this beautiful display upon her. He also would have loved to have been able to use his hands so that he could be touching her right now, but he wasn't about to move. This was something Bella wanted to do with him, and he knew that if he had use of his hands he would not be able to help himself from touching her everywhere, flipping her over and pleasing her right then and there. As appealing as it sounded, it would have taken away from the moment they were sharing presently, and he would not jeopardize that.

Her kisses felt incredible. They also felt like they were everywhere at once. His whole body felt like one pleasurable sensation, coursing through his limbs and spreading throughout ... stemming all from one particular area. That part of his body was aching with a need that only Bella could grant. Tense as his muscles were, they only grew even more so as her lips passed over him. When she kissed his own lips, Jasper couldn't help but passionately, and eagerly, kiss her back. His lips crushed against hers, his tongue playing a delicious game with hers. It was the only relief from all the tension inside of him that he could get. Though she was taking it slow with her kisses, he was helpless to not be eager.

As her mouth traveled lower, leaving his lips and trailing down his neck, Jasper sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled in a low moan. He wanted to make love to her so desperately, to lose themselves within the raw passion that was always present between them, exemplified by their desires. His fingers held tighter to the bed frame, slightly bending one of the intricately designed iron leaves. His lower half protested, and he was unable to stop himself from raising his hips up against her now that she'd perched herself on top of him. This did not give him the release he needed, but only served to stir up his need even more. He gave a frustrated growl and bent the iron frame a little more.

* * *

Bella wasn't naive enough to think that it would be easy for him to endure her taking her time with kissing every inch of his skin when she'd requested that he'd not be able to use his hands. Even worse, he was blindfolded, unable to see where she was moving and instead having to rely on the way it felt. She could tell that he was getting excited – that much had been obvious from the moment they started to kiss and he grew aroused. Not only could she feel his desire coming from him, but the physical elements of it were all accounted for. Even still, Bella couldn't bring herself to rush. She wasn't deliberately trying to tease or torment him in any way, but rather, she really did want to continue to show him how much she loved him. And how much she loved his body, despite the fact that he was so repulsed by it.

She didn't even notice it when he bent the bed frame. All she noticed was the growl that sounded low in his throat. That told her he was indeed getting frustrated, but her lips only continued moving the same slow patterns they were making across his skin. The only relief she gave him for the moment was when she dropped her hand between them to cup his arousal through his pajama bottoms. Her lips paused against his skin for just a second at the heat she felt, even though the fabric. It was something she hadn't felt before, but that was another added but welcomed change that came along with their changes in temperature. As her lips started to move again, trailing down his chest and down to his abdomen, her fingers rubbed him gently though the thin garment he was wearing. Her mouth kissed along the tightened muscles of his stomach, every inch being worshiped in the manner in which Jasper deserved to be.

The lower she kissed, the lower she shifted to slide down his body. Upon doing so, her fingers stopped their ministrations and settled at his hips, the tips of them dipping just within the sides of his pajama bottoms. She didn't divest him of them yet, not until her mouth kissed along the line they made across his skin, playing with the color of the fabric against the cream of his skin. After it had, she started to kiss her way down one of the lines his hipbones created, on display with the very low situation of his pajama bottoms. Her tongue traced its way back up the other one.

She could feel so many emotions coming from him and that alone was driving her actions. There was a part of her that wanted to just give in and take him into her mouth right then and there and get on with pleasuring him more directly, or else to crawl on top on him so they could make love together, but she was continually trying to exercise her self control in this situation. It was amazing to her how she was finding the strength to do so. With her mouth still poised just below his navel, she worked the bottoms down his hips, finally freeing him on the constricting, uncomfortable garment. When she pulled them down as far as she could reach from where she was perched, she lifted herself up and crawled off on him for the moment to stand at the edge of the bed and pull the pants off of him completely. When they were gone, she crawled back on the bed, this time between his legs and resumed her exploration, kissing her way up from the back of one of his knees to his inner thigh.

* * *

There was something going on here that was of particular interest. It was something that Jasper was not thinking about presently because of what was being done to him, but it would occur to him later when he wasn't in such a state of physical need. Bella was controlling herself. A newborn's lack of control wasn't only over their blood lust. It was over their impulses too. Any other newborn would have engaged in having sex to fulfill that need. There would not have been much thought for seduction or pleasing their partner. Their own needs were all that really mattered, but that was clearly not Bella's mindset. She had not concerned herself with her own needs, as was evident in how she had instructed Jasper _not_ to move his hands. This was a remarkable feat, and it would hit him at a later time. Right now, all he could think about was where her lips were going and what her hands were doing.

His hips raised slightly as her lips trailed just along the waistline of his pants, and he shuddered as they slid down the line of his hipbone. He bent the frame a little more, his fingers clutching tightly to the iron. As long as he didn't actually break it, he'd be able to bend it back later, but Jasper had no indication of what state the bed would be in by the time they finished. Nor did he actually care at this point in time.

Relief came in the form of her hand pressing against his arousal, though she did not work him the way his body craved. She was still teasing him, which made his jaw clench and another stifled growl resonate in his throat. It did create a lovely sort of friction between his skin, the fabric, and her hand. But it wasn't enough. He couldn't help but move his hands against her hand; it his body's way of begging for more. The way her tongue slid up his other hip bone very well could have driven him mad with need. Not long after, he felt his pajama bottoms being pulled off of him and he was quick to forget about them because he was far more curious about what she was going to do next.

Jasper stopped breathing momentarily, in anticipation of what was to come. Her lips were what he felt first, as they slid up his knee and inner thigh. He gasped, his body shuddering at the feel. He wished he could see her, though he thought that the sight might really push him over the edge.

* * *

Bella wouldn't realize the depths of her control. Nor would she understand that what she was doing now was considered something that really could be remarkable considering this was only the first night of which she was a newborn. Even if he explained it to her later, she wouldn't necessarily comprehend the feat. To her, it was easy to focus on the task at hand when that task involved pleasing Jasper. Her Jasper. Her soldier. When he was the object of her affection and of her attention, it wasn't at all difficult for her to remain in control on her actions.

But even she had to give in eventually. This wasn't at all meant to be cruel or to make him suffer with her teasing. It was meant to be the exact opposite – a pleasurable experience that she could give him. And so she only took a few more moments to explore the way his skin felt on his inner thigh, her tongue tasting it before she finally moved on to give him the release he was so greatly anticipating. Bella could feel the heat from him before she even put her mouth on him and that was enough to cause a rush of desire and anticipation of her own to shoot through her. She finally did, but her actions were still very slow and extremely conducive to her idea of exploration.

Her tongue slid slowly up the underside of his arousal until she reached the peak of it. For a moment, she pulled back with a smile touching her lips at the way his body reacted to the movement. His muscles visibly contracted at the smallest touch of her mouth. That caused her to repeat the action, watching him as she did so. He looked so helpless in a way, blindfolded and with his hands out of commission. It wasn't how Jasper usually appeared to her, but it did give her a little self-satisfaction to know that she was pleasing him in spite of it. One of her hands wrapped around the base of his arousal and she stroked him a few times before finally taking him into her mouth fully.

* * *

Jasper shared that mentality; as long as he was close to her and focused his attention and affection on her, he could hold onto his control. That was how he'd managed to get beyond his blood lust for her and control himself while she was still human. He'd managed to take all the elements that usually drove his thirst to being beyond what he could handle, into sources of comfort. Her heartbeat went from being maddening, to soothing. It was amazing the things that love could do. He did not realize that Bella shared this same sort of way of thinking. He didn't think it was possible for a newborn to do it, and this would strike him very dramatically later. Not now, though.

Fortunately for him, Bella did give in and started to give him what he wanted. She focused her attention on his arousal, though her motions were still slow and sensual. He sucked in a sharp breath as her tongue slid up his length in a long, slow lick. He could not see her smile, but he could feel it. He exhaled in a soft moan as she repeated the motion. He really was helpless, but it wasn't the type of helpless where he felt trapped. He was very happy, and he loved what she was doing to him. The only thing he was missing was being able to use his hands to hold her and touch her, and he missed being able to kiss her. However, this was a very fun little game she'd engaged them in. He wasn't about to complain.

Her fingers curled around the base of his arousal, and soon enough, he felt her lips drawing him in. He'd only experienced this sensation once before with her, and it was still just as sweet and pleasurable. He gripped the bed frame tighter, bending the makeshift vine in the bed design and bending it. He moaned softly, her name falling off his lips in the process. His own self-control was being tested, as he found it difficult not to move his hips against her mouth.

* * *

Though she had only done this once before, Bella was significantly more confident than she had been on that occasion. If ever there was a doubt in her mind, all she had to do was to think back on much he seemed to have enjoyed himself when she first used her mouth on him, and that seemed to keep any insecurities she had at bay. That first time, both of them had to be extremely careful with one another. She was still human and the dangers that could've arisen from such mind-numbing actions were numerous in number. Now, though, there was no need to take the same care and extreme caution. Now, it was far easier to fixate on pleasure instead of fear.

That said though, Bella was still careful with Jasper in that she continued with a slow pace to begin with. She had to get used to the feel of him in her mouth now, so different from how he felt the first time. Fire and ice. Encouraged by his sounds and the way her name fell off of his lips, she continued to work his arousal with a combination of her hand and her mouth. Her tongue was eager to explore the difference in temperature and was a good accompaniment to her lips as they continued to take the length of him in and out of her mouth. He, again, was too big for her to take him fully, but she managed the best she could as she slid her lips downward slowly a few times every so often.

She continued in that manner for awhile, a mixture of slower and faster strokes with her hand as she drew him into her mouth. Her other hand came to rest on his hip, giving it a squeeze once in awhile. There was one point in which he groaned that caused her too, to let out a soft sound against his length, causing vibrations against the very sensitive flesh. She remembered how he'd like that before and so she repeated the action, pulling back for a moment to smile up at him before taking him between her lips again.

* * *

Judging by what she was doing, it was hard to believe that Bella had only done this once before now. Had Jasper not been there for the first time, he wasn't sure even he would believe in her lack of experience. Whether it was just luck, or she had a natural talent for being sensual and bringing him pleasure, Bella was working him in expert motions. He was almost always a very composed, and even reserved individual. With only a few exceptions, he rarely lost control. But Bella had stripped him of his reserve. It was with her that he felt comfortable letting go of his guard, showing her his emotion. Right now, he was not holding back on letting her feel all the pleasure he was feeling.

He clutched harder at the bed frame, biting back a moan. His control over his hips was slipping, and he couldn't help but raise and lower his hips just a little, in time with how she was taking him into her mouth.

"Belle.." he just barely was able to form words by this point, because what she was doing to him had nearly reduced him to just shallow breaths and low moans. "I.. I need.. to use my hands.."

As amazing as this whole experience was, he wanted more. He wanted to be able to look at her, touch her, kiss her. He wanted to put his hands all over her, to draw her back to him, flip her over, and make love to her for the rest of the night. He wanted to worship her body in all the ways he felt she deserved. Though what she was doing was bringing him indescribable amounts of pleasure, he was craving something else now.

"Please," he pleaded softly. "Please, let me look at you, let me touch you.." he breathed out, then moaned softly. "Please, Belle.."

* * *

Bella would have been content to continuing pleasuring him for the rest of the night. Kissing his skin over and over and over would have made her just as happy as it had the first moment she touched her mouth to his. She had explored his body in a way that she never had before in a sense that she was doing so with new eyes, new skin. She felt like a different person and yet, being with Jasper now seemed to draw on the fact that she was still very much the same Bella. Perhaps that was one of the reasons this experience was so memorable. More than ever in the time since he'd bitten her, she found herself. She was his lover, his mate.

Her own mate was beginning to really show his frustrations. While she was so happy to be making him feel pleasured enough to keep from steadying his hips, she really didn't want to keep him waiting when it was quite obviously struggling with his control. It wasn't as if she had much of a choice; when he spoke to her in that tone, he could have been telling her to walk into traffic and she gladly would have complied. His honey-sweet voice was capable of making her do anything for him.

Giving in, she kissed her way back up his body, crawling over him as she moved up until she reached his mouth. Her hands found his and unwound them from the mangled bars he'd woven with his fingers. Her own laced with them to replace the grip and she gave them a gentle squeeze. Leaning down, she kissed him for a few moments before she released one of his hands and untied the ribbon around his eyes, letting it fall away carelessly.

"How can I resist such a Southern gentleman?" she asked against his mouth with a grin.

* * *

His feelings were mixed as she moved up his body. His lower half was protesting, throbbing with need of release that her hands and lips were beckoning him towards. Yet at the same time, she was giving him what he asked for; now he would be able to see her and use his hands. He could bring her all levels of pleasure now. Of course, he could have done it by using his power, but that wouldn't have been the same as what he was about to do. He wanted to physically bring her there as many times as her body could take. Jasper fully intended to do this, so he could worship her body the way he felt she deserved.

As soon as the blindfold was removed and his hands were lowered from their former resting place, he immediately snaked his arms around her and raised up into a sitting position. "You can't, can you?" He teased, before drawing her into a long, slow kiss. As much as he wanted to rip the night dress off and push her down on the bed, he refrained from doing so. She'd spent so much time exploring his body, and he wanted to give her the same sort of treatment. Gently, he pulled her into his lap and kissed her again. He took his time, exploring her lips and gently sliding his tongue into her mouth. It wasn't a hard, fiery kiss. He was very tenderly stroking her tongue with his and kneading her lips with his own. His hands, meanwhile, were unlacing the back of her night dress so he could remove it. Once he did, he pulled back from the kiss and lifted the nightgown over her head. He did not rip it in a fit of passion, because he wanted her to wear it again. He'd been especially fond of it.

After removing the garment, Jasper was pleasantly surprised to see that she was wearing.. nothing underneath. He raised one eyebrow as his golden eyes traveled down her body, perched in his lap.

"Belle.." he murmured her name so adoringly, but with an underlying hint of insatiable desire. Slowly, he switched their positioning and laid her down on her back. He hovered over her momentarily, just looking into her eyes. "I love you," he said softly, then brought their lips together in a long, passionate kiss.

His hands slid over her body, tracing her curves, massaging and squeezing every now and then. Those same hands slid down over her hips, along her thighs, then back up her inner thighs, then out to her hips again. He purposefully avoided touching between her legs, if only to build anticipation. His lips trailed down her neck, his tongue tracing her collar bone. Being so close to her, his own body was begging him to make love to her now, but he denied himself. This had to be about her right now.

His kisses traveled back up towards her lips, and just as he kissed her, his hand slid between her legs and started to stroke her there.

* * *

For as much as Bella had been enjoying pleasuring Jasper and making this experience all about exploring his body and pleasing him in the process, she had to admit to the fact that she was happy when she gave in and let him move so that he could touch her. No, she could not resist him; he had that right. That kiss was enough to solidify such a fact. Even though it was now no longer the first time that Bella was kissed in such an intimate manner by her mate, the one they shared when he pulled her into his lap left her breathless and light-headed somehow. There were no complaints though about either. She didn't want to let go of him and had no intention of it. The only time it had been acceptable was when he removed her nightgown and she lifted her arms up to help him pull it over her head.

Bella watched with fascination when he realized what she had been wearing beneath her chemise. Or rather, what she was _not_ wearing. A part of her wanted to smirk and play it off as if it had been a sexy idea of hers from the beginning to forgo underwear, but the truth of the matter was, was that she couldn't decide what kind to pair with the rest of her getup so in frustration, she gave up and decided she wouldn't wear any at all. There was nothing sexy about that, but it seemed to prove beneficial in the end as far as Jasper's interests were concerned. It was worth indecisiveness to hear his voice say her name in such a manner.

When he switched their positions, she recognized his teasing from the way his fingers ghosted over her body. She'd gotten excited when those expert digits moved up her inner thighs, only to be disappointed when his hands moved to other areas. However, they weren't strangers to her most intimate areas for long.

"I love you," she said in a breathy tone when he finally touched her there.

Such a response had been clear in her actions the moment after he'd expressed the sentiment to her, but she had been too fond of the kiss they were sharing to pull away just yet to speak. Instead, the words were nonverbal until her mouth was freed up to announce them otherwise. Of course, as soon as she did, her lips were met with his yet again. And again, there were no complaints. As the kiss progressed, her hand slid between them as well and once more wrapped around his arousal. He might have asked her if he could use his hands now, but that didn't mean that she had to stop using hers in the process. Instead, she stroked him softly, occasionally pausing in that she had to move her hips against his hand or let out a soft groan against his lips.

* * *

Jasper loved the way she responded to his touch. There were so very few words exchanged, save for their "I love you"s that slipped between kisses. He was able to feel her every emotion, ranging from excited to desperate to pleasured to loved. He could feel everything all at once, and all her emotions meshed with his own and were sent back to her by way of his power. He also knew how she was feeling based on her physical reactions as well. The sweet, soft sounds that were muffled between their kiss, as well as the way her body moved against his hand as he touched her. She was a vision of beauty, and it only made him want her more.

He felt her hand wrap around his erection again and he groaned against her lips. He applied more pressure to his touch, focusing on one specific area as he stroked between her legs. Good as it was, he still wanted more. It almost pained him to do so, but he withdrew his hand, finding hers and easing it from where she was working him so expertly in her grasp. Jasper let his kisses dip down, creating a lingering trail with his lips and tongue down the center of her body. He teased her navel with his tongue, then parted her thighs further as he dipped his head between them.

He'd only done this once before with her, and really, he'd just barely touched her that way. He'd been unable to do what he really wanted because of the dangers his venom presented. Now that it was no longer a problem, he was happy to give her all the pleasure he could. He started out similarly as he had the last time, using his lips to place firm, but gentle kisses between her legs. He looked up at her briefly by flickering his gaze to her face, only to read her expression for a moment before continuing on. Slowly, his tongue began to trace the same pattern his finger had been making just moments before. He moved slowly, increasing the pressure gradually. His hands ran up her thighs until they rested on her hips, so he could hold her in place while he worshiped her body as he felt she deserved.

* * *

Bella, of course, was someone who was able to reap the benefits of Jasper's power when it came to things in the bedroom. There had been more than one occasion when he'd used his power to create a more pleasurable experience without even needing to use a finger. She had loved that – of course. But there was something more satisfactory when he brought her that same amount of pleasure, that insatiable desire when he did it without the assistance of his special ability. Truth be told, he didn't even need it when it came to filling her with want. He was more than capable of that on his own with his physical actions and simply by being _him_ He was who she wanted, special abilities or not.

Her body was so in tune with his. When he removed his hand and then proceeded to move hers as well, that protested and she felt the smallest moment of longing. It didn't last long, however, when his kisses moved from her mouth down to her body. She was so torn between wanting to close her eyes and just concentrate on how warm his lips felt as they touched her skin, and with wanting to watch every placement of those kisses. For now, the latter won out and with half-lidded eyes, she watched him work his way down her body. As his tongue teased her belly button, Bella couldn't help but to emit a soft giggle at the sensation.

Part of that giggle could have been from nerves. Even though Jasper had briefly given her this type of pleasure before when she was still a human, it had been a brief thing. It was a dangerous feat, though it had been a pleasurable one that left Bella completely breathless. But there was a sudden surge of nervousness when he moved between her thighs and touched his mouth to the most sensitive areas of her anatomy. It was hard to focus on nerves when the feel of his tongue made her feel so light-headed that she forgot about everything else save for the shock of pleasure that coursed through her.

"Jasper…" she whispered with a soft moan.

* * *

To be able to bring Bella to the height of her pleasure and beyond was something Jasper was very proud of. He loved pleasing her, hearing her whimpers and soft cries, his name rolling off her lips, assuring him that it was _he_ her made her feel the way she did. As much as this undoubtedly was pleasing her, it was also bringing him pleasure as well. His lower half might have been aching to be joined with her, but the rest of him was being satisfied by having his craving for her somewhat satiated. She was his mate, and he needed her. The bond between them was so strong that being able to be with her so intimately was something he would always want, always desire.

Having done this once before to her was nothing as it was now. He could taste her, indulge in her essence and have her in a way he never had before. It only made him want her all the more, and he wasn't shy of showing it. Jasper tightened his hold on her hip with one hand, while the other slid back down her inner thigh. He did not stop tasting of her, licking and suckling at her very center. Slowly, he slid two fingers inside of her, moving them in a slow rhythm, curling up each time he pushed them into her again and again.

* * *

There should have been no question when it came to who had been the one giving her all this pleasure. Jasper had been the only one to ever be intimate with her and he would remain the only one for the rest of an eternity. Bella had no qualms about this, no doubts. He was the only one she wanted to fill that position and she could not have been luckier that he had chosen her as well. She may not have been the first one that he gave himself to, but she was confident that she would be the last. Knowing that, she couldn't have too many insecurities with the fact that he had so much more prior experience than she did.

Pleasure was currently making it extremely hard to house any insecurities. That was a good thing considering if she had the chance to focus on it, Bella would have let her nerves take over. Being like this, she was very exposed to him in the most intimate of ways. There was a thought that would have crossed her mind in wondering whether or not he was liking what he was doing, if he enjoyed it as much as she did when she could use her mouth on him to bring him pleasure. But she could feel it, but in the atmosphere in the room given off by his own emotions, and of course by his physical actions. One thing was for certain – there was no mistaking how _she_ felt about his ministrations. There was no need for a special ability to read emotions to understand just how much.

She'd opened her eyes to look down at him, the sight of him between her thighs being enough to put her over the edge alone. But she was using every single ounce of strength she had in order to hold out for as long as she could. For that reason, she had to close her eyes, leaning her head back against the pillows after he'd added his fingers to the mix of things. One of her hands balled up the bed covers and when she tightened her grip, she missed the way they tore so easily under her grasp. Her other hand slid down her body until it entwined in his hair. She was mindful not to twist the blond curls in the same manner as the sheets of course. It was unmistakable that she was on the brink of the peak of her pleasure, exercising all the self control she had as he moved his tongue and fingers simultaneously. She couldn't help but to move her hips despite the hand he had attempting to steady them. He had to know how much she was appreciating how he was treating her body.

* * *

The only person on his mind was Bella. At this point in time, only the two of them existed in his world. There was not another soul or creature that could reach him right now, save for Bella. If he could stay with her in their bed forever, then the eternity that he had damned himself into would instead have become his own personal portion of heaven. Any doubts or worries that she might have had concerning whether or not he was enjoying himself would hopefully be put to rest by how much desire was coming off of him. The way he touched her, the way he was holding her, kissing and tasting of her, all resonated his desire and love for her. Jasper wanted her, only her, and that was never going to change.

He could tell she was experiencing the pleasure that he wanted to give to her, and it made him only want to give her more. Every so often, he'd glance up at her. The sight of her beautiful face as she took all that he was giving her was mesmerizing. Jasper couldn't believe how much more he wanted her, how much more he _loved_ her every second. He needed her; he needed to be one with her. He continued with his actions for several minutes longer, savoring every lick, suckle, and stroke of his fingers. Her hand in his hair drove a rush of adrenaline through him, and he knew he couldn't wait any longer. They'd individually shown their appreciation, adoration, and desire for each other's bodies already. Now he wanted them to do the same, but joined.

With one long, lingering lick, Jasper raised up from between her legs. He withdrew his hand, only to let it find her hip opposite of the one he'd been holding. He knelt on the bed, and pulled her to him. His hands slid to her thighs, and he positioned her so that her feet were resting on his shoulders. Securing them there, he leaned down and nuzzled into her neck, positioned himself as he needed to, and then pressed into her slowly. The initial contact was so erotic, so deliciously pleasurable that he could not help but moan against her neck.

"Belle.." He started a slow rhythm with his hips, moving in time with hers.

* * *

For as much control she was trying to keep to prolong this for the both of them, Bella was beginning to struggle. His actions were so erotic, so pleasurable – there was no way she could last any longer. Her breathing was shallow, coming and going in short, spastic puffs.

"Jasper... I… I'm..."

That was about as much of a sentence as she could form until she could only squeeze her eyes shut and let the rest follow in a moan. But just as she teetered so dangerously on the edge, just as she was a split second from her release by his hand – and his mouth – he stopped. Her eyes shot open immediately and her body protested with every inch at the sudden halt and unexpected change.

He was fast, of course, but the time it took for him to reposition them and finally join the two of them together felt endless. When Bella had already felt like her body was on the verge of going up in flames, the sudden shock of him stopping was almost painful. However when he slid into her, she felt whole, complete again. The way he'd positioned them was new for them but it was proving to be something that Bella liked. With her legs stretched up and Jasper leaning down, the way he moved within her felt completely different. Amazing. The angle was certainly to her benefit and her eyes closed again, her own sounds mingling with the ones he muffled against her neck.

For a few moments, she moved with him as they were, her lips pressing to the side of his face, the top of his head – whatever she could reach. The only downside to their positioning was that they couldn't be quite as close as Bella wanted - _needed_ - right now. Shifting slightly, she dropped her feet from his shoulders and nestled him between her thighs. When he was, her legs hooked around his back, pulling him closer. At the same time, her arms moved around his back. Now there was no space between them. They were completely one as they continued to move together, her hips rocking against his every time he moved them. Nudging his chin with her nose, she lifted his face back up to the point where she could kiss him. Or at least, as best as she could when she was struggling to breathe (however unnecessary it was for her now) on account of being seconds away from finishing.

* * *

Jasper never wanted this moment to end. He wanted to be one with her always, allowing their emotions, love, pleasure, and need for each other to mesh together in such a way where one could not tell where his ended and hers began. Though really, there was no "his" or "hers." When they were one, there was no distinction at all. His needs were hers, and vice versa. Beyond the emotional connection, there was also the physical connection. The pleasure he was feeling was beyond what words could describe. It was difficult to hold any semblance of control when he was experiencing sensations and rushes of energy, fulfilling needs and desires all at once.

Words were beyond him, even for someone who was so usually charismatic. For someone who was usually so within his own resolve and tried so hard to remain in control of himself, he'd become completely unhinged. Especially now that he knew he couldn't hurt her as he could before. As passionate as a lover as he'd always been with her, he held nothing back anymore. While he moved within her, his hands were roaming over her, touching her everywhere in a way that would show just how much he loved every inch of her body. His lips were kissing everywhere he could reach. Her neck, her jaw, her face, lingering on her lips.

They'd been teasing each other a great deal before they joined their bodies, bringing each other ever so close to their peaks. It was not long before they reached that point and beyond. And as much as Jasper wanted to hold on and make this moment last forever, even he had to succumb to the pleasure that was beginning to take hold of him. He knew Bella was seconds away; he could always feel it, both emotionally and physically. He moaned her name, his hands sliding beneath her so he could hold her tightly. His stomach muscles tightened as he felt that rush of pleasure spread through him. His release was strong, and he felt it all the way through each of his limbs. His shoulders tensed and he clutched her tightly, feeling his release pass through him into her.

* * *

Bella had never been someone who was completely stoic before. While she sometimes tried to conceal things for the benefit of others, she was someone who was prone to showing her emotions. When she was upset, she often shed tears. Especially when she was angry. Her frustrations were known to lead to such a tearful conclusion on account of the fact that her head would literally hurt from housing so much of that aforementioned emotion. But it wasn't until she and Jasper became close that she became truly so in _tune_ with them. He allowed her to experience them fully and in him, she could see her own reflected. That was good for her. It allowed her to become better at recognizing them and controlling them for that matter when it was appropriate.

Physically, of course, he'd also opened her eyes to everything. The bond between them on a physical level couldn't be matched. It was strong when she was a human and therefore, was of a different species from him. But now that she was not, the bond was strengthened. Each time they were intimate with one another, that was exemplified. Now was certainly no different.

The second his release started, Jasper triggered hers. There was no need for her to try and prolong it any longer. She wanted to experience it at the same time as her lover. When she finally let go and let the intensity of the waves of pleasure wash over her, her grip on him tightened. Both her legs and arms held onto him tightly as her hips moved against his, continuing until they were both finished. Her lips had drifted to his neck to cry out his name, lost in his skin.

When they'd both stilled, her hold on him loosened considerably, but Bella didn't let him go. For several minutes, she just held him, still pressed together and joined so intimately.

"I love you," she whispered against his ear.

* * *

Jasper felt her reach her peak, which amplified his own. He held her close to him all the while, as each wave of pleasure passed through him, into her, and back again. The physical closeness was intense, their bodies moving together as one. More than that, the emotional connection between them was far beyond any comprehension. Even Jasper, who could control and feel the emotions of those around him, could not put those feelings into words. To him, that was a testament to just how strong their bond was. It showed how deeply connected and in tune they were with each other. That meant everything to him. Bella was his world; his whole, entire world.

When the waves of pleasure finally ceased, his muscles all relaxed. He felt heavy, though he was not tired. Usually at this point, he would roll over and pull her to him, holding her close and letting her rest against him. Tonight, however, he did not move. That is, except to lower down against her. His arms were tucked beneath her, as if he was embracing her, and he slowly lowered from kneeling so that he was laying over her. He laid his cheek against her chest and kissed her skin. He wanted to be held, and that was his subtle way of making that known. He nuzzled her shoulder and smiled serenely. No one else would ever see a smile like that on Jasper's face. It was for Bella alone, because it was brought about by the way she made him feel.

"I love you too," he whispered, settling down against her.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Bella and Jasper are getting to know each other better as vampires, and certainly strengthening their bond and love for each other along the way. Bella is really coming into her own, because as we know, she was born to be a vampire. As always, we love to hear from you all so please leave us a review! We'll be updating against soon so be on the look out for the next chapter!

**Lyrics: **Looking Up - Paramore


	14. Chapter 14

_What can he tell them now?_  
_Sorry I let you down, sorry it wasn't quite true._  
_But don't get hung up with it._  
_Just soldier on with it._  
_Good luck with shooting the moon ;;_

The first few days of Bella being a newborn continued to be very much about exploration. During the day, she and Jasper would wander through the forest. He showed her the world in a different way, teaching her the ways to adjust to her newfound strength and power. They hunted often in those first few days. Most of the time, Jasper didn't have a need, but instead, instructed her and watched as she became more accustomed to it. The burn in her throat was so frequent and thus, it was a necessity for the hunting excursions. She learned that her taste preferences were certainly geared toward panther, though the only time she was able to hunt one had been the first night of her transformation. Everything else in comparison didn't satisfy her quite as much. However, because she was mainly hunting so frequently to get used to it and to quench her insufferable newborn thirst, taste wasn't her main concern.

They spent a lot of time with the rest of the family. It seemed like the list of things when it came to fitting in when one was no longer human was endless. But Bella was fascinated with it. It seemed like so much more made sense to her when she was viewing things from the opposite perspective now. She didn't realize that little things such as blinking were ones that needed to always be upheld in the presence of humans in order to be discreet. They couldn't be still for too long and breathing normally was a necessity for fitting in if not for survival any longer. The rest of the Cullens were all too pleased to help Bella with all of these things, giving her tricks and secrets to transition her back into society when she was ready.

Of course, none of them expected that to be anytime soon, but nobody had the heart to remind Bella of this when she insisted she wanted to learn about it now. For that, she was grateful.

Nights were reserved for her and Jasper alone. The time that used to have been wasted while she was sleeping was now spent in full wakefulness. No longer did she have to worry about becoming drowsy. Instead, she knew she would be capable of maintaining consciousness at all time with him. Even though he claimed before to never have minded when she needed to rest, Bella always felt guilty. It was the same for when he wished that he could have been warmer for her when she slumbered.

Now, neither of them had a worry about the other. When they weren't making love, Bella's favorite thing to do was simply to lay in bed with him and close her eyes as if she still _were_ capable of sleep. She was always at peace to do so without the lingering worry about whether or not she would be plagued with nightmares. There never were any. Only a happy reality with Jasper. Now they both had what they wanted – she no longer had the guilt of being asleep and he no longer had the guilt of being cold. It might have seemed silly for her to want to feign sleep-like elements so often when it was impossible, but it had been a significant event for them during the progression of their relationship. It was special to her.

There were other things that were very special to her as well, ones that were harder to appreciate now that she was no longer human. Rather, she appreciated them more, but she could not indulge in them. One of these things included her friendship with Jacob.

Though she was designed to be his mortal enemy now, she still loved him. She still missed her best friend that she hadn't seen in months. One good thing about their cover story of going off to college meant that she could still speak with Charlie on the phone. She had a few times since she'd been changed and though it hurt her heart to know she couldn't see him, it was an amazing relief. But that opportunity on one particular day proved to take a stab at her heart even more when Charlie told her about a letter she received from Jacob. The two of them hadn't spoken in months.

After the run-in she and Jasper had with him in the road, the wolf took off. The news of Bella's engagement apparently had broken his heart when Billy told him and he made sure not to contact her anymore. When he'd given a letter to Charlie to mail to her at her supposed school address, she knew she couldn't take it any longer. She had to see him.

It was probably not the best idea for her to have kept this news from Jasper, but Bella knew how he would have reacted if she told him she was going to see her friend – who also happened to be his worst enemy. Fate presented her with a chance when Emmett asked Jasper to accompany him car shopping. They planned to be gone for most of the day and Bella could think of no better time to sneak off for awhile. She left a note on their bed for him to find when he returned.

_Went to see Jake. Please don't be mad. I had to. I love you._

She signed the letter 'B' and hoped that Jasper would honor her request to not be angry with her.

Because she meant what she'd said – she had to see Jacob.

* * *

This was a new experience for Jasper, too.

He'd helped to raise newborns before, though it'd been over a century ago. It was also drastically different. He'd raised hundreds of newborns to be bloodthirsty killers, mindless drones who could follow orders and do only what they were told. He'd raised them with no moral conscience. It was much different to do things Carlisle's way, though undisputedly it was the right way. To watch Bella develop, to see her looking at the world through new eyes, hearing it with new ears, it was all very fascinating to Jasper. He was happy to be beside her throughout, to help guide her and show her all of these new experiences.

They'd been incredibly blissful together, whether they were spending time with their family, or when they were simply with each other. Whether they were taking walks or making love, resting together or running after herds of deer, they were happy. Jasper just wanted to spend time with her, no matter what they did. He knew, though, that despite all the excitement of her new life, Bella was missing aspects of her human life. He could feel it coming from her whenever she thought of Charlie or Renee. He couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for her to be away from her parents for an undetermined amount of time. He was grateful that she given up so much - though temporarily - to be with him for eternity. It was only going to get more complicated later, when they had to explain to Charlie and Renee why Bella wasn't getting any older. They would cross that bridge when they got there. In the mean time, sporadic phone calls to her parents was the best they could do.

That day, Jasper had gone with Emmett to look at a new Hummer to replace his older model. There was nothing wrong with it, he just wanted a new one. He'd wanted to take Jasper with him to get it because he knew his brother could make quite an impression. His power would also come in handy. Money was never an issue with the Cullens. Even if a salesperson tried to win one over on Emmett and overprice the sale, it would hardly put a dent in their fortune. However, that didn't mean Emmett was going to let someone make a push over out of him. Jasper had an intimidating presence; one stare could cause anyone to freeze in their tracks. He also would be able to sense any deception coming from the car salesman and influence him to be honest.

So Jasper had agreed, though it was very, very difficult for him to part with Bella. Even though he knew he was coming back in a few hours, and he knew that those few hours would have no bearing on their love for each other, it was still hard for him to be away from his mate for any given amount of time. That was why when Emmett dropped him off in his new Hummer, he raced into the house to get back to her.

Immediately, he went right to their bedroom. Upon entering, however, he knew she was not there. He couldn't sense her anywhere, in fact. Panic immediately set in. Where had she gone? Sadly, his thoughts turned to the negative. What if she'd gone looking for human blood? He didn't want to believe that, but.. His eyes fell upon their bed, where he saw a note resting on the pillow. Of course he felt terrible for thinking the worst before considering all the options. Once he saw what was written on the paper, however, his relief vanished. He didn't even have to pick it up to read it; he'd seen it from where he was standing. Panic, once more, set in. Jasper turned and fled the room, then the house, trying to pick up Bella's scent as quickly as he could. Being so in tune with her, it wasn't too difficult.

Along the way, he called Carlisle and informed him of the situation; they were going to meet at the border of La Push, where he assumed Bella would be. He could only hope he got there in time. With Bella as a vampire now, they'd technically broken their part of the treaty when Jasper bit her (though honestly, he'd broken it a long time ago when he'd slipped and killed a human before, but that was beside the point). He could only imagine what would happen when Jacob saw her, which drove him to run faster.

_Bella..._

* * *

Bella didn't know what to expect when she went to see Jacob.

First of all she didn't even know how she was going to get him on his own. He had no idea what had happened since they'd seen each other last. He thought she was away at school as did everyone else save for the Cullen family. But her presence alone was not going to be the shock. What she had _become_ was what would be the problem. Bella was no stranger to the way Jake felt about vampires. Especially the ones who resided just outside of Forks. And now she was one of them. It had been enough for her to associate with them to begin with. Falling in love with one was unthinkable in Jake's eyes. But _becoming_ one…

Bella didn't have to guess that his reaction would not exactly be favorable. That was putting it extremely mildly.

She had to think carefully of how she was going to get him, not only alone, but without him having phased first. There was also a matter of the borders. Though the treaty was essentially damned to hell already, Bella didn't want to push it even more if she crossed the line. He didn't need to know before it was time why she couldn't meet him at his house or why he couldn't come to hers. And so, she decided to call him. That wouldn't be suspicious from the initial get-go. After all, it was plausible that Charlie told her about the letter – which he had and which is what drove her to meet him to begin with, so it wasn't a lie.

She was already at the border in the woods when she called. Jacob been shocked to hear from her at all, but even more so when she made him promise not to say anything to Billy about her being there because Charlie didn't know she was in town. She wouldn't tell him anything else which, as she'd hoped, ignited worry within him and caused him to hurry to the destination.

When he arrived, she was waiting for him. Upon first glance, she could tell he'd already caught the scent of a vampire nearby. If she wasn't quick, it would be too late. He would phase and the rest of the pack would descend immediately. Before coming out of her hiding place, she called his name.

"Jake. I'm over here," she said. Her voice would have sounded slightly different to him, but to her, it was familiar now.

Jacob sprinted toward the sound of her voice. There was a vampire scent he didn't recognize and if Bella was there, it meant she was in danger. "Bella," he growled, his sense heightened even though he was still in his human form.

"Stay back. There's-"

His words came to a sudden stop when Bella stepped out from her surroundings. The scent he'd picked up on was overpowering. It was coming from _her_.

Bella. His Bells.

She didn't look like his Bells anymore. She didn't smell like her. Instead, she was a monster.

That was the only word that came to mind when the realization set in.

"Jake…" She said softly, taking a few steps toward him. Just seeing him again made it feel like a tiny stitch in her heart had been mended.

* * *

Jasper was so focused on getting to Bella that he hadn't really thought anything through. All he had really processed was that Bella had gone to see Jacob, and she was a newly transformed vampire. Jacob was an unstable werewolf, and one glimpse of Bella was likely to send him into a blind rage. They'd also broken the treaty, though in Jasper's eyes it'd been broken for a long time. But he didn't care. If Jacob laid one filthy paw on his mate, Jasper would rip him to shreds. Rather, he'd bite him once and watch as the venom killed him. All it took to kill a werewolf was one bite. One. He didn't care about the repercussions, if it meant a pack of wolves would try to hunt him down for killing one of their own. He'd deal with that later.

Nothing else mattered to him but making sure Bella was safe.

Jacob couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Granted, he should have. He should have damn well expected this to go down. As soon as he'd heard that she was engaged to that out of control, violent leech he should've known that this was the next likely step. But he'd held out the hope that one day Bella would come to her senses and realize that she was making a huge mistake, and that he was the one who she should be with. She'd once referred to him as being like the sun, and now there she was, forever cloaked in night. It was painful. It _hurt_ him to see her like that. Now she was his enemy, and it was all the Cullens' fault. They might have given off the impression that they were "good" vampires, but Jacob thought that they were the worst of all. Pretending to be something they weren't, lying to everyone about their true selves. At least other leeches were up front about what they were. They weren't hiding any truths.

And now Bella was one of the Cullens.

Those bloodsuckers had taken her from him forever.

Jacob had resolved himself to wait for her forever, because as long as she was still human there was a chance that they could still be together. Now that she was a leech too, even if she left the blond Cullen she'd attached herself to, there was no chance that they could be together. Ever. The Cullens had made sure of that. He hated them. He hated them all. And now he had to group Bella, his Bells, into that realm as well.

How could she do this to him?

"How _could_ you?" He demanded, his shoulders trembling with anger. "How could you do this to me? To _Charlie_? To your mother? Your friends? What the hell were you thinking to let them do this to you?! Have you gone insane?"

He had to pace, back and forth, to keep himself in check. But he was fighting a losing battle. This was not going to end well, he knew. Everything was set in stone now. They could kill all the Cullens without any remorse.

But.. that meant.. Bells...

He shook his head, trying not to let his rage over take him. But when he looked at her again, he lost it. She was standing there, stunningly beautiful, but that wasn't his Bells. Her skin was like snow, her eyes were red - red like the blood she no doubt had already drank. Even her voice sounded different. Just the sight of her made him furious. He was seething now, his breaths coming in harsh pants.

"You're one of them now," he growled, narrowing his eyes. "Bells- How could you- Why? You-"

He couldn't take it anymore. His rage overtook him, and before he could stop, he phased into the russet wolf. Lips curled back, and his sharp teeth were visible as a low growl ripped through his throat, fur standing up along his back.

* * *

Even having expected him to react in a negative way every time she pictured this situation, the initial moment when she saw him, Bella couldn't have helped that small happiness. He was her best friend. She'd _missed_ him. She hated knowing that she put him in so much pain as a result of her choices. They'd struggled with it before, but the distance that had been between them after the last time she saw that was unlike anything they'd endured before. It was a dark silence. Though her heart belonged to Jasper, there was a part of it that would always be devoted to her friendship with Jacob. When he was gone, that piece wasn't right. Seeing him just then made it feel as if it was.

But that was eliminated as soon as his realization set in and shock wore off. Bella could see the fury in his eyes. It wasn't the same flicker of happiness that had been in hers. There was not even a hint of it. Instead, it was malice.

It was as if she were Victoria or Laurent or one of the newborns Jake had fought against with his pack before. It was clear that was what he saw when he looked at her. She wasn't his best friend anymore, the girl he'd used to play with when they were little and she came to visit Forks. She might have felt that way the moment she saw him, but the reality set in immediately after when he reacted.

And when it did, her reaction changed as well. At first, she tried to speak, tell him the reasons why she decided what she did. But then as he continued to list of the people whose lives she apparently ruined so badly, Bella started to get annoyed.

This was _her_ choice. Jacob was blatantly ignoring that crucial fact. Maybe she would have had a different sort of response if she wasn't designed so differently now. If she wasn't a newborn, maybe she would have been able to control her own temper as well. But instead, he set her off. Instead of trying to talk him down anymore, she was quicker to get angry then perhaps she would have been. That was set into effect for certain when his anger grew to the point of phasing. She had expected this to happen, but she couldn't have prepared herself for how she would react to it.

She tried to reel in her own negative emotions and try one more time to calm him before he did anything rash.

"I didn't _let_ anyone do anything to me," she said firmly.

The reddish-brown wolf was stalking her now, the two of them circling around with eyes locked. "I _chose_ this," she said. "I _want_ this. I've always wanted this."

The words could barely leave her mouth before something inside of Jacob snapped. The wolf lunged at her.

Bella was fast, yes, and was capable of strength now, but she hadn't been expecting him to actually attack her. Thus, he managed to knock her down, a growl ripping through his throat. Her own throat suddenly burned and her natural instincts took over. Her lips curled back and she emitted a frustration growl of her own, wrestling with Jacob.

"You shouldn't have done that," she warned, pushing him off of her for a moment before his claws were in her shoulders once again.

It wasn't painful unless one looked on the inside. There, this was killing her.

* * *

Jacob couldn't control it.

He was so, _so_ angry that he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't even take the time to let himself process the fact that he probably wasn't really angry with Bella. He was angry with himself, and the other leeches. This really wasn't Bella's fault, and really, what he wasn't feeling was actually anger. It was battered pride, beaten down by the fact that he'd lost her forever to the blood suckers. It wasn't fair, and he was showing his frustration about that. He was taking out that frustration in the only way his instincts would allow him; by letting the wolf out and attacking anything and everything he could as a way to get those feelings out. Bella just happened to be the person who got in the way and was taking the brunt of it.

The two had circled, and then Jacob lunged. The russet wolf attacked her, snarling and clawing at her. To him, this wasn't his Bells that he was attacking. She was just another leech now, no different to him than any other. In time, he might not regard her in that way. He might see past what she had become and remember that despite her species, she would always be Bells. But right now, all he could think about was the fact that this was a vampire, and he no longer had a treaty to uphold. When she pushed him off, he was quick to lunge again, pinning her by the shoulders. He growled, snarled, and snapped at her, ignoring her warning. He should have listened, though, for not a split second later a force stronger than him had plowed into his side and knocked him down several feet away from Bella.

Jasper had not stopped running. He'd picked up both Bella and Jacob's scents along the way and he heard the exchange between them as he drew nearer. And he did not stop running until he'd lunged into Jacob and knocked him off of Bella.

The wolf had committed the most deadly sin possible by attacking his mate. That was a death wish on Jacob's behalf, and Jasper would not hesitate to see that through. He knocked the large animal off of her and very nearly bit him. Had their momentum not separated them when they hit the ground, he would have sunk his teeth into Jacob's jugular. Jasper did not stay down for longer than a blink of an eye before he lunged again, the two creatures colliding midair and tangling with each other all the while. Again, they separated and Jasper stood his ground defensively between Bella and Jacob.

"I'll kill you," Jasper hissed, growling and ready to lunge again.

Jacob, of course, could not speak. But he snarled and nearly roared at the blond vampire who had stood in his way of winning Bella's heart.

The vampire and the werewolf lunged at each other again, but Jasper clearly had the upper hand. Jacob was acting on blind rage, and it was not working to his advantage. Whereas Jasper was acting out of protection for his beloved. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he would have no doubt killed Jacob Black in that next clash of claws and teeth, had he not been soon outnumbered. The rest of the pack had of course known what was going down as soon as Jacob phased, and ran to help him. A large black wolf collided with Jasper and knocked him away from Jacob before he could sink his teeth in for the final blow. The others circled around defensively as well.

Jasper didn't care. He got up, determined to break through the pack to get to the one who'd attacked Bella.

* * *

This was perhaps the greatest testament to date when it came to separating the person Bella was and the new elements of that persona.

Before, she would have likely have gotten angry if Jacob had spoken to her in such a manner, but more likely than not, that would have resulted in tears, some angry words of retaliation, and defeat. That was not the case now. She was having trouble remembering that the beast that was snapping at her was her friend and not a creature who was defending its territory, an enemy like the one the panther had been the first time she hunted. Instead, she had very little resolve to keep from snapping her own teeth at him. The reason she wasn't was on account of the fact that there was still a small part of her that was begging her to consider who this actually was. That portion of control made it possible for her to act more on the defensive as opposed to the offensive. She would just hold him off until he came to his senses and got his act together.

But there was no time for that.

There was a breeze that passed over them and in the next half of a second, a huge weight had been lifted from her and she was freed. That breeze had been her mate and as angry as she could tell Jacob had been when he'd phased, the sense of malice coming from Jasper was overpowering. She pulled herself off the ground and attempted to get in between the two of them as she would have done normally when they were engaged in a battle of words.

But these were not words, these were actions and Bella didn't feel the same as she expected. Instead of wanting peace between her best friend and her significant other, she saw something else. She saw something attacking her mate. Her Jasper. It did nothing to calm her.

Nor, unfortunately for Jacob, was it doing anything to put a stop the impending doom he was facing at Jasper's hand.

But that concern for her mate when he was wrestling with Jacob was nothing at all in comparison to the anger that ripped through her when Sam knocked Jasper down.

She recognized the leader of the wolf pack immediately, as could she pick out each and every one of the other members. Before she could move to stand in front of Jasper to defend him, the large gray wolf that Paul took form as lashed out at Jasper, snapping his teeth against her mate's side.

There was not even a millisecond to think before Bella attacked him. She tackled the gray beast to the ground and slammed his body against the earth. She was driven completely with rage, a strange feeling for her to encounter with such intensity. But the sight of someone attacking _Jasper_…

She wouldn't stand for it.

Grabbing Paul by the fur, she slammed him back into the dirt once more before not one, but two of his pack members knocked her off of him. Bella couldn't even see them, couldn't see _anything_ but Jacob making another go for Jasper. She kicked Embry away before Paul sought his revenge and leaped onto her back, knocking her down before she could reach the russet-colored threat to her mate.

* * *

It would've been one thing for Jacob Black to launch himself at Jasper, to try to kill him in his endless grudge for being the one that Bella had devoted herself to. Jasper might even have gone as far as to say that he understood the younger boy's mindset for all his rage and pain in that regard. He would not have been nearly as angry to fight him off. However, Jacob had lashed out at his mate, and that was unforgiveable.

Jasper would never, ever forgive him for what he did, even if Bella one day was able to do so. This was not something that could be taken back, or excused. Jacob attacked Bella, and that was enough to condemn him to hell as far as Jasper was concerned. He fully intended to kill him without remorse, and if that meant taking down each of his pack members in the process, he would do what he had to do.

Jasper unfortunately had to turn a good portion of his attention to Sam Uley, who had come to Jacob's defense and kept Jasper from sinking his teeth into Jacob's neck. Another wolf (one who Jasper couldn't be bothered to remember his name) lunged at him and bit him, and as that happened Jasper could feel a surge of anger coming from Bella. He'd never felt such fury from her before, and that actually scared him. Not of her, but _for_ her. He knew how unstable a newborn vampire's emotions could be. And judging by that, he began to wonder if he'd even need to be the one to fight off all the wolves. Bella probably had enough strength and anger to do it herself. That bothered him. He did not want that for her. But right now, all he could do was focus on Sam, for Bella had attacked the other one.

He wrestled with the large black wolf, who had better skills as a fighter than Jacob. Jasper could only reason that it was from being more experienced and thinking with a clearer mind. He and Bella were very outnumbered, and it was becoming more and more obvious by the second. He would never admit defeat, but Jasper knew that right now, the wolves had the advantage. Even so, he wasn't going to stop until either all the wolves had fallen, or he himself could no longer move.

Jasper glanced out of the corner of his eye to see that Jacob had gotten up and was moving to attack him again. Quickly, he shoved Sam off of him and whipped around quickly enough to punch Jacob as hard as he could right in the side of his large muzzle. At that same time, Sam attacked again, but was caught mid-air by what looked like a lunging Grizzly bear.

But it wasn't. It was Emmett Cullen. The rest of the family was right behind him, running out into the small clearing on the border of La Push territory.

Carlisle immediately moved to try to put a stop to the fighting, but it was difficult when he saw that his son and newest daughter were so deeply rooted in all the violence.

"Jasper," he called out to his blond son. "Enough of this."

Jasper had just separated from Jacob to regain a bit of footing. "Bella was attacked," he snarled, growling at his father out of anger.

"And it is likely she will be attacked more if we don't put a stop to this."

Jasper just snarled and lunged at Jacob again. Months and months of anger and tension were being taken out on each other. And it didn't look like either of them intended to back down, despite the fact that Jacob had taken a pretty harsh beating while Jasper still stood steady on his feet.

* * *

It was like a floodgate had been opened. All Bella could see was red.

Never before had she experienced such emotion like this. The only thing she could think to compare it to would be how much passion and desire she felt for Jasper when they were making love. That was the most heightened peak she'd experienced, the most concentrated outlet for one solitary emotion. And that had been completely positive in nature. Anger, on the other hand, was not. But she was experiencing it to the point where it was blinding her. She couldn't feel anything else. She couldn't think of any other thing.

When the rest of the Cullens arrived, she didn't even see them there. They didn't exist. All that existed were the wolves. The wolves who were attacking her mate. The wolves who were after Jasper.

She would have went right for Sam when she saw him moving to strike again if she were not distracted by Paul. The other wolves were circling again, waiting for their own chances to strike, for the instructions of their master. Nearly all of them went for Emmet the moment he tackled Sam to the ground. If there was any chance of reconciliation, it seemed unlikely when both the vampires and the wolves were defending their own kind. Even Carlisle found it hard for a moment to pull himself together enough to realize the danger of such an outcome. He was not keen on the fact that members of his family had been lashed out at.

"Sam," he said firmly, approaching with his palms facing up to show no harm.

The large black wolf growled and seemed as if he were debating his enemy's intentions. He was still angered at being knocked away by the grizzly of a Cullen. But Carlisle didn't give up.

"Sam, call your pack off. Are you consenting to inevitable bloodshed? Call them off. We'll settle this," he reasoned. He meant that for both parties. Both posed a threat to one another.

"Emmett, get a hold of Bella," Carlisle instructed.

It was clear that Jasper was not yet in a frame of mind where he could control his mate himself; not when he was just as driven by anger.

It wasn't until Emmett latched onto Bella, yanking her arms behind her back that Sam called his pack off as well. Jacob, of course, didn't want to listen. He was still snapping his teeth at Jasper. Upon instruction from Carlisle, both Rosalie and Esme went to calm him.

Until both parties were under control, no words were spoken. Sam gained control of himself enough to phase back into a human. He was just as large and as intimidating as he was in wolf form. He was nude, but to him, it seemed irrelevant. Truthfully, nudity was the last thing on _everyone's_ mind. It certainly was the last on Bella's who was still growling at Paul and trying to twist herself out of Emmett's iron grasp. She nearly managed it once, but he caught her arm again and yanked her back, one of his arms locking around her middle to have a better grip on her.

"The treaty has been broken, Carlisle. We have no need for discussion," Sam said, despite his calling off his wolf pack. "You know the conditions. We are at liberty now to defend our land. One of your own dared to cross it."

That one in question was about a moment away from biting Emmett to free herself. Carlisle once more turned to his other son before he could address Sam.

"Jasper, please," he asked, nodding his head toward where Emmett was struggling.

It was strange to see the big bear of a Cullen having difficulty when his strength was nearly unmatchable, but it was because she was still such a young vampire that Bella was putting up a good fight.

* * *

As far as Jasper was concerned, this fight was far from over. He was not finished with Jacob yet. The dog was still breathing, and therefor they still had unfinished business. Attacking Bella had signed Jacob's death sentence in Jasper's eyes, and it was going to be hard to press him in any other direction. He could barely even hear the words being spoken between Carlisle and Sam, and what's more, he honestly didn't care what either of them had to say. It wasn't until Esme and Rosalie broke his concentration by pulling him back and speaking to him directly. Mostly it was Esme who got him to shift his focus, by telling him instead of focusing on his rage, he should be focusing on Bella; that she needed him now and that her safety and well-being were most important.

Jasper could not protest that.

He looked once more to Jacob Black, who looked ready to lunge at him, but Jasper noticed that he was not moving. Sam had ordered the wolves to stand down for the time being. As much as Jacob might have wanted to launch into battle again, he couldn't disobey Sam's orders. Jasper nodded to his mother and tried to calm himself down. He was still very much on his guard, but he didn't look like he was going to tear anyone's throat out anymore. Esme had been right. He had to focus on Bella; she was the one he was trying to protect.

Jasper let his gaze fall onto his mate, who was currently struggling as hard as she could to get away from Emmett. He could feel all of Bella's rage, her violent anger she held towards Paul. He was used to this sort of violence stemming from the desires of newborn vampires. He'd been immersed in it for a good portion of his life before his time spent with the Cullens. But he didn't want that for Bella. She was not a violent person, or a vengeful person. She had a beautiful soul that Jasper didn't want to see tainted by hatred. Carlisle was right, too. He had to calm Bella down.

He closed the distance between himself and Bella, moving to help Emmett keep her from lunging at the pack. He could have easily calmed her with his power, but he did not want to resort to that just yet. Gently, he cupped both of her cheeks so that she would have to look at him.

"Bella," he spoke her name tenderly, looking into her dark eyes to find the beautiful girl he loved so much. "Shh, Bella.. Just look at me. Here, nothing else. Nothing else matters. Just us," he whispered. "It's all right, my love. Just look at me."

* * *

It was still a difficulty to say the least for Bella to control her anger. The only reason she was able to manage to even begin to was because Jasper came to her aid. His safety was the most important thing to her. Before, she would have been content in just feeling relief that he was no longer in harm's way. But now, she felt the need to get revenge.

That was an emotion she had never experienced in such a strong manner before where as now, it was all she could think of when she witnessed her mate in danger. His life was more important than her own. His protection was her number one priority and if it meant risking her own life in order to achieve that, Bella was all too willing to engage in doing just that.

Finally she allowed herself to focus. Just on Jasper. She listened to his reassuring words, the gentle hands he had on her cheeks. Meeting his eyes, everything else disappeared and her anger faded away. Just the two of them. As he said, that was what mattered.

The tension visibly disappeared as she relaxed. Emmett was cautious for a moment but he released his hold on her when she'd lifted both of her hands to rest atop of Jasper's on her face. Jacob growled low in his throat at the exchange, but Bella didn't even hear him. So fixated on her mate, she had a strong desire to kiss him just then. She would have too, if the reality of their situation didn't start to seep through her reverie. Nuzzling her cheek against his palm, she dropped hers, keeping a hold of one of his hands.

The matter of the treaty was one that was now had a lot of fractures in it. It had been established decades ago but it had been broken again and again since Bella had come into the picture. That was something that she felt guilty for. If not for her, there would be no such danger. If she had never persuaded Jacob into telling her the story to begin with, if she had never asked to be bitten by a vampire, if she had never crossed onto Quileute lands… All of these things revolved around her.

How could she not have housed such guilt for that truth? It was because of her that the two groups of enemies even encountered one another so frequently. And now everything was a mess that seemed as if there were no clear or even plausible outcome thanks to her.

That still didn't make her regret her decisions. She might have regretted these more negative aspects, but she couldn't regret something that brought her to the Cullens. She couldn't regret something that gave her Jasper. She couldn't regret something that allowed her to have eternal life with someone who she loved. Bella couldn't even regret something that brought her together and let her develop such a strong friendship with Jacob.

And none of things would have happened if she didn't start off by asking about stories.

"See? You bloodsuckers can't even be controlled," quipped Paul, now also changed back into human form along with the rest of the pack per Sam's instructions. "She'll be the worst of the lot of you."

"Paul…" Sam warned before turning back to Carlisle again. "You have my word that until it is discussed, my pack will not attack your clan. But I won't deny them the rightful opportunity after. We are at liberty as the treaty binds."

* * *

Jasper paid the rest of them no mind for several seconds. He focused only on Bella and making sure she was calm. It was so easy to be pulled into their own world, where no one else existed or mattered. There were moments when he wished he could stay in that world forever and forget about the real world, but he knew that reality had to catch up with him sooner or later. That just made moments spent alone all the more special, and he wished right now he could be alone with her. Sadly, that wasn't possible, and they had other issues to deal with first.

He turned to face the pack again, still holding Bella's hand. He listened as the wolves spouted off insults at them, and when Paul insulted Bella, Jasper nearly snapped. He whipped his head around towards Paul and bared his teeth, but he remained where he was. The leader of the wolves took action before he could, silencing the one who had dared to insult Bella. Jasper raised an eyebrow as Sam spoke about how the treaty had just been broken by their actions, and because of that the wolves had every right to get rid of them.

"The treaty was broken several months ago when Jacob Black spoke of the legends to Bella," Jasper said. "But I suppose our actions count as treason and he gets merely a slap on the wrist for his."

Carlisle took over from there. Jasper had a way with words, but he was angry right now. It would cloud his judgement.

"The matter of the treaty should be irrelevant since secrets were revealed to Bella before her transformation. Any finger pointing in our direction should also be placed in yours. I propose we look beyond all of this. The fact of the matter was, Bella was not hunted. She has wanted this for a long time. The bite administered was not for feeding purposes. It also technically did not take place in Forks, seeing as the home she was in is just outside of town."

Jacob did not want to reason. The sight of Bella holding hands with that leech was enough to make him want to phase again, but Sam's orders still held true. He also didn't want to just stand there and listen while they tried to spin all of this back on him. This wasn't his fault!

"You can't blame this all on me. We have every right to kill all of you!"

"Even if you managed to do that, do you really think that's smart? Do you have any idea who my father is in our world, and how many vampires you'd anger by causing harm to him or his family?" Jasper asked, narrowing his eyes. "We know vampires who can bend the elements at his own free will. Not to mention the fact that one of our elders has a particularly strong hatred for your kind and is just waiting for an excuse to come exterminate you all. Do you really want a war like that on your hands?"

Sam clenched his jaw, finding it difficult to know how to answer. The vampires presented a point, and the last thing he wanted was a war right now. That would mean more innocent lives would be disrupted by the emergence of more wolves. The more vampires on their land, the more wolves would be needed to protect it. As much as he valued taking care of his pack members, he did not wish this life on anyone.

Carlisle again looked to Sam. "Please, Sam, consider your options. I have asked for peace, but you have attacked my family. I am proposing for civility, but I will not hesitate to do whatever is necessary to keep my family safe."

* * *

It was hard for the wolves to maintain their argument when the Cullens had valuable points. It was essentially Jacob who told Bella the legends about the cold ones and what the tribe was descended from. Without that story, she might not have guessed what it was that was so different about the family of vampires. Perhaps it would have taken longer. Perhaps she would have had to wait until Edward told her himself. But instead, because of the story along with some researching, she deduced the outcome on her own.

The feeble attempts Jacob gave to justify it were just that – feeble.

"She _asked_ to hear the stories. She asked about them herself," he argued. But upon doing so, he dug his own grave and Carlisle was quick to point such a thing out.

"And so she asked for this life as well. How can it be upstanding for the treaty to be broken in one instance, but not another when you just stated that it all came down to one's free will?" He looked at Sam then. "Again, Sam. I propose a truce. Think of what will come of anything aside from making one," he said, alluding to what Jasper had said.

And that was true. The wolves would be far outnumbered if Carlisle called upon his friends in other covens. The Cullens were a well respected family and though they distanced themselves from the Volturi, Carlisle would not hesitate to call upon his other connections if such a war was to take place.

Sam seemed to understand this. As much as he wanted to stand for his pack, for their elders with the treaty, he had to admit to the fact that the treaty was not merely collapsed on one side. In the technicality of it all, the Cullens were still in their bounds. He was not happy with this fact, but that was what made him such a strong leader, the alpha. He reasoned well.

"The treaty will stand in effect once more then, Carlisle. I will give you my word to keep my pack from harming your family. I will speak for no other of your kind. Should you decide to call upon others, we will not hesitate to protect ourselves and our land."

There was an edge to his voice that meant he was taking this all very seriously. The edge, however, was meant more for his own pack. He knew they were unhappy with his ultimate decision.

Jacob, for one, couldn't control his temper. Phasing once more, he took form as the large russet wolf. Growling once at Jasper, he retreated into the woods.

"You have my word that we will stay off your land. We have Bella under our instruction and our control. There is no need to fear her straying from our ideals," Carlisle promised.

After all, the wolves knew a lot more about newborns after having fought them. It would be easy to consider Bella to fall into that category considering she was so newly changed.

"I think it best for us to go our separate ways now," he said, nodding at the wolf pack leader and the rest of those surrounding him, still on edge. "Thank you, Sam."

The alpha nodded once and took off toward the woods, the rest of the pack following wordlessly. By the time they reached the point where the Cullens could no longer see them, they'd already phased back into their animal form, disappearing with their word. Only time would tell if it stood.

* * *

**Author's Note: **First of all, thank you for being patient with us while we get up chapters. We are having to edit more and we have both been busy with real life things that take priority. But hopefully we will be having chapters up sooner now! Thank you for sticking with us. Please review and let us know what you think. This was not the most exciting chapter, but it was an important one. The next one to follow has the aftermath of that fight with the wolves and a hunting trip for the Cullens.

Take care and happy reading! Cheers! x

**Lyrics: **Shooting the Moon - OK Go


	15. Chapter 15

_I know its dark for good_  
_I never listen when I should_  
_you only see in black and white_  
_so go on back to your own kind_  
_and I'll go back to mine ;;_

Jasper did not move until the wolves were long gone and no trace of them remained in the immediate area. He would not have put it past Jacob Black to turn around and attack him from behind. That was the type of coward Jasper believed him to be. His eyes, black as coal, were fixated on the spot where the wolves had just been standing. He was still very angry, and though Esme had managed to calm him to the point where he could think clearly again, that did not take away the anger he felt over the situation. He knew the others understood. Had an attack been made on any of their significant others, they would be just as furious as he was now. He _would_ have killed Jacob Black. Not just hurt, insulted, or wounded his pride. Killed. That was a very emotionally draining thought. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stop himself from doing so if he saw him again, no matter how much time passed between now and whenever that was.

There was a part of him that was hurt, too. Bella had gone to see Jacob Black without telling him first. She'd kept it from him, purposely waiting for him to be out of the house before she left to go. Deep down, he understood her reasoning. Most likely she would have thought that Jasper would tell her no, that it wasn't a good idea and if she'd still insisted to go he would have followed her. Whether or not he'd gone with her initially, the outcome would have no doubt still been the same. A fight would have broken out just as it had, and the same showdown between nature's enemies. Now was as good of a time as any. The wolves would have had to have found out about Bella eventually. Now they had this matter addressed and it was settled, for the time being at least.

He turned to Bella then and looked down at her. Her eyes were black, too. That was a result from fighting with the wolves, he knew. They were very close to La Push, as well as the people of Forks. It was dangerous, and Jasper felt it necessary for them to retreat right away. He turned to Carlisle, his gaze still rather intense due to his having fed off the emotions of everyone else throughout the whole exchange.

"I need to take Bella hunting," he said.

"We all could use a hunting trip," Carlisle said, noting the tension on his son's features.

Though he knew Jasper was a good teacher, he knew with emotions running so high, he might need a little help. It was also a good chance for the family to go together and bond with their new sister and daughter.

"I'll call the hospital and arrange to have the next few days off. We'll go to to Yellowstone. If we leave tonight, we'll be there tomorrow. I think a trip away would do everybody some good. It will give the wolves time to process everything as well."

It was decided, then. They rented an SUV to make the trip, so they could all ride together. This of course made any private conversations very difficult to have. Jasper did not say much, for he did not have much to say. He was upset, though most likely not for the reasons Bella would have deduced. By turning Bella, he'd put her into a very difficult position, not to mention danger. What if he had not arrived when he did?

Jasper had no doubt that Bella could have fended off Jacob, but at what cost? Bella would never have forgiven herself if she'd killed her friend. And if the others had not arrived and Jasper actually had killed Jacob, would she have been able to forgive him for it? How would she be able to look at him, knowing that her mate killed her best friend? What if this came up again and he had to follow through? What then?

Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett all tried to keep the conversation light and flowing, but Jasper barely heard anything they were saying. He and Bella rarely engaged in any sort of affection around the family, or anyone else for that matter. But he did have his hand joined with hers between them on the seat. His gaze was focused outside the car, through the tinted windows. He watched as they passed through towns and the surroundings shifted from highway, to city, to mountains, to forest. When they arrived it felt like barely any time had passed, even though it had been more than half a day since they'd left Forks. Carlisle and Esme took care of the camping arrangements, so they could blend with anyone else taking a trip for the weekend. They set up a small campsite just as anyone else would have, with tents and a small convening area. They could come back here between outings to hunt.

Once everything was set up, Carlisle turned to the family. "Run north, away from all the campsites. Go for about twenty miles. That'll put a good distance between us and any hikers who might be out. We'll have a joint hunt after we've gotten a fill for tonight. If that's all right with everyone."

"Yeah, I want to race Bella to get a Grizzly tomorrow," Emmett said, grinning and prompting an eyeroll from Rosalie.

"We'll be back at dawn."

Jasper took Bella by the hand and started to walk in the northern direction. The family came here often so he was familiar with the territory. It wasn't long before he'd put distance between them and the family, enough for them to talk privately. Even still, he did not say anything right away. He was leaving it up to her if she wanted to discuss what happened or not.

* * *

Even after the wolves retreated, the event remained fresh in Bella's memory. She knew that things likely would not have gone smoothly when this exchange happened, but there was a big part of her that had wished it would have gone differently. At least with Jacob.

The last thing she expected was for him to lose his temper and actually come at her in the manner in which he did. In a way she couldn't blame him. After all, she'd gone after members of his pack as well when she was angered. She even lashed out back at him when he wrestled with her. But even though Bella was no longer one herself, there was still a very big human part to Bella in that sense – the sense that there was still a childlike quality in the way she sometimes wished for things. In her world, she would have liked for them all to just get along. She would have liked not to have to sacrifice her friendship with a person she loved because she was _in_ love with someone else.

But that didn't happen and truthfully, probably never would. It was something that she would always have to deal with. Then again, after the way things played out, it didn't seem like she and Jacob could even be friends anymore. As angry as she had been before, there was a sadness in her to realize such a fact. As fulfilled as she was with Jasper and her family in the Cullens, there was still a time in her life that it felt as if Jacob picked up the pieces she fell to. When they were gone, he was all she had. Now that they were back, he was gone again. It didn't seem fair, but it was reality. She'd made her bed and she would lay in it.

She was relieved when Carlisle suggest they take a hunting trip. That relief was the strongest part of what she felt in regard to leaving. For one thing, her throat burned almost painfully after the discrepancy with the wolves. She didn't want to risk anyone being in danger by being so close to their town. Close to follow relief was a horrible guilt. It nearly swallowed her whole as they drove to their destination. She was almost completely wordless throughout the duration, her mind swimming. The background of her family members was a dull fade of noise. Even though her and Jasper were joined by linking their fingers, he felt further away from her than he ever had since she was changed. She could feel his sadness, his anger. It was all a reflection of her own and that only buried the guilt deeper within her. There wouldn't be any hiding that from him either.

When they'd arrived and the two of them were on their own, she didn't speak right away. It seemed he was doing the same. The reason for her silence was mainly due to the fact that she didn't even know what to say. The two of them needed to talk about what took place the evening before, including the part where Bella left without him knowing. But it wasn't easy to know where to begin. Especially considering she was responsible – yet again – for everything that happened.

Eventually she couldn't take it anymore. "How upset with me are you?" she asked.

She tried to phrase the question stoically and keep her voice even, but there was a hint of sadness and a slight bit of sheepishness in it that he'd be able to read into.

* * *

Jasper didn't really know how to express what he was feeling to her. She'd be able to feel his emotions, naturally, but that was just the basis for how he felt. She'd be able to feel his guilt, his sadness, his anger, but she wouldn't necessarily know the reasons behind it. That could potentially lead to a lot of misconceptions. He did not want Bella to think he was mad at her. He had been hurt when he stopped to think about how she'd gone off without telling him, and waited for him to leave so she could do it. But, he'd gotten past that because he understood her reasoning for it. It was the only way she would've been able to see Jacob alone because he no doubt would have first told her no, and had that not worked he would have gone with her no matter what.

Being Jacob's natural enemy, he did not understand the relationship between him and Bella. He couldn't imagine anyone bonding with a wolf, but Bella was sort of the exception to every rule so he knew he couldn't put it past her. He hated Jacob, and not just because of his species. He didn't like the other boy's personality, either. He thought Jacob to be extremely selfish, especially when it came to matters concerning Bella. Jacob did not consider the fact that Bella was happy in her relationship because he was convinced that she'd be better off with him. He did not take Bella's feelings into consideration at all.

But at the same time, Jasper could not hate everything about his enemy. Jacob had also helped Bella through a very difficult time in her life and helped her piece back together what had been broken. For that, he had to be at least somewhat grateful to him. That didn't mean he had to like him, though.

As he walked the long, winding path with Bella, he looked forward to keep his eyes peeled for any wildlife. They were far enough away by now that hunting would be acceptable. He paused, however, when Bella spoke. Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"Upset with you?" He shook his head. "I'm not. I just.. I just keep thinking about what could have happened had I not gotten there. I know you would have killed him, and that scares me because I also know you'd never forgive yourself if you did. I wouldn't want you to have an eternity of feeling guilty. I put you in a very difficult position, Bella. I'm so sorry."

* * *

It didn't matter what species anyone was when it came to understanding Bella's friendship with Jacob Black. Even she had trouble understanding it at first, unaware of just how much it had helped her heal. There were parts of him that she wished were different as far as how he viewed her choices were concerned, but really without him, she would have never have healed at all.

When the Cullens left so suddenly after the incident at her birthday party, her entire world was flipped upside down. Jacob was the person who kept a hold of her so she wouldn't fall off. While their bond was strong, her feelings of love for him, though, would always remain on a platonic level. It hurt her to know that she hurt him so much by that fact. That was why she at least owed it to him to go and see him herself.

Bella didn't like the idea of keeping things from Jasper, but how could she explain properly? She couldn't exactly reveal that the main reason she wanted to go and see Jacob was because she felt so guilty for hurting him. There was a chance that her mate would take that the wrong way or else not understand the depth of the friendship she and Jacob had with one another. That was to be expected when they were natural enemies. But still, she'd hoped it could have all been avoided.

When he explained why he was upset, Bella stopped in her tracks at his reasoning. His words cut through her like a blade to the heart. "No I wouldn't have!" she protested almost angrily.

Pulling her hand out of his, she crossed her arms over her chest, offended that he could even think she would inevitably kill Jacob. Her best friend. She understood that she was dangerous now. She understood that she was supposed to want to kill werewolves. She understood that she was defending herself when Jacob came at her in anger. But she would not have killed him. Ever. She couldn't have killed him. That wasn't even an option.

"I would not have," she said firmly walking quickly on the path again.

* * *

Jasper regretted his choice of words, though he had not meant them as she took them. He hadn't been accusing her of something horrible, it was just what he presumed was in a newborn vampire's nature. Beyond that, it was very much in a vampire's nature to want to kill werewolves. Especially when one was attacking his or her mate. The instinctive urge to kill could not be denied under such circumstances. Jasper knew that was true, or at least, he thought it was because he'd been raised that way. Those feelings had been very present within him. But Bella didn't see it that way, apparently. Her emotional attachment to Jacob Black was causing her to deny what she naturally would have been feeling.

Jasper.. almost took it personally. It was as if she was protecting her relationship with Jacob and denying who she was.

"Well, I would have," he said. "I would have killed them all for attacking you. I would have killed Jacob Black if Sam Uley hadn't blindsided me. I wouldn't regret it, either. I would regret hurting you because of it, but not for protecting you." He followed a few paces behind her, watching the back of her head. "I know you're upset. I can feel that. And you're angry with me. But I also know that you're feeling a lot of emotions that you've never felt before. You're experiencing a lot for the first time, at a very early age. I'm sorry, Bella."

He frowned just a little, still keeping a few paces back.

"You're so quick to defend your relationship with him. So much so that you're denying the instinct you have to protect me from harm. Your friendship with him means that much to you," he said, looking a bit dejected. "He was going to kill you. Do you not hold anger towards him for attacking you? You forgive him so easily for that?" He was getting angry again just thinking about what he felt coming from Jacob, as he recalled the sight of him lunging at his Belle.

"I _hate_ him."

* * *

Jasper's words hurt her. He would know that by the way her emotions read as he spoke.

Even though she knew it was now natural to have feelings of hatred for the wolves and for Jacob, she couldn't bring herself to do it. When she had lashed out at Paul, she really did feel like she could kill him. Seeing him attack her mate made it seem like it wouldn't have been a second thought at the time. Killing him was all she thought about. Red was all she saw. But now she felt guilty for even having those feelings. Not because had had any sort of positivity in regard to the gray wolf, but rather because she was thinking about Jacob again. If she could get that angry about someone hurting her mate, Jacob was in danger of those thoughts too.

And they stung when Jasper voiced them from his own conscience. He would have killed Jake. Bella knew he would have. She was fully aware of the fact that he still wanted to do so now. But hearing him say it aloud made her unbeating heart ache. Maybe there was something wrong with her. Maybe she was somehow still too human to be so hurt by words such as that when they were natural for Jasper's kind.

Of _their_ kind now.

But what hurt even worse was the way Jasper spoke about her friendship with him. "I'm not denying any instinct to protect you from harm!" she snapped, whipping around to look at him after he'd said that.

Perhaps that was the most hurtful of all.

"It's always choices. Why does it always have to be one or the other? Why not both? I made the ultimate choice. It's _you_. It's _this!"_ she said, motioning to herself in her body. "You might hate him. I might be supposed to hate him now, but I can't. He wouldn't have killed me. You don't even know him, Jasper! You have no idea how important it is to me to keep his friendship after everything that happened."

Her temper was rising now, pushed by her intense conflicting emotions and he'd be able to feel it. Those emotions were causing her to speak about things that were better left buried.

"You left! You all _left!_ He was all I had!"

If she was capable of crying, she would have been. This was the first time she was experiencing this emotion as a newborn and the fact that she couldn't produce tears frustrated her even more.

* * *

Jasper shook his head.

"So because of my actions and because he was there, he can get away with anything. He can try to kill you, me, our family. He can insult me, our kind, and he can hate me with every fiber of his being. He can do anything at all, and because of my weakness, it's acceptable. Why is it okay for him to hate me so much, but it hurts you that I feel the same towards him? Did he even let you speak before he lashed out at you? But then, I suppose if he didn't that will be excused because he can't control his temper."

He hated this.

More than anything else he could not stand causing Bella pain. But he was hurting too, and felt like he was being portrayed in such a monstrous way all for just wanting to protect her from harm. It wasn't fair. Jacob attacked first. Jacob broke the treaty. Jacob threw the insults. But Jasper was to blame. Jasper was still the monster. He would always be the monster. He didn't know why that thought pierced his heart. It wasn't as if he didn't already know that about himself. Maybe because he'd begun to think that maybe he wasn't such a demon after all.

When she spoke of them leaving, it brought back unbearable pain that he couldn't even acknowledge. He kept his focus on the issue at hand instead, not wanting to drag up memories past that would do them no good now.

"I have never tried to deter you from your friendship with Jacob Black. I don't like it, but that has always been _your_ choice, and I have never gotten in the way of that. But I know that every time in months past that you have gone to see him, he has caused you pain. What I saw was someone who forced you to kiss him, who used you as a shield to make me angry and try to attack him, someone who did not love you selflessly because he couldn't accept your love for someone else or be content for you to be happy as you were, someone who constantly berates the person you love. I don't know him the way you do, but I know what I've seen, and that's more than enough."

* * *

"Where have you been? Where have you been when I always leave with you? I always pick you, Jasper. I always have. You think I don't defend you against him? He doesn't want to hear it, but that doesn't mean I don't try my damned hardest to try and get him to understand how I feel about you. I don't care if he understands in the end. He knows he will never be you. He's left more than once now because I told him that my decision would never change. I never went after him, did I? I never took off too. I never had a need because I have you. But if there's a chance to mend fences and keep my friendship with him, I'm going to try. If it doesn't, if it's continually an impossibility, then fine. But I tried."

Her teeth grit together so hard that she actually had to force herself to stop for fear that she could break them. It seemed as if Jasper was convinced that Jacob's actions were okay when she never said any such thing.

"It kills me every time he insults you or our kind. It's a stab in the heart. If you think that's acceptable for me to hear those things from him, then you don't know me as well as you think," she said. "You insult him too. Just because I'm not in love with him, just because he's not my mate doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me to hear you say you hate him. When he says it in regard to you, of course it hurts me more. I _love_ you. Why does that mean I have to hate Jacob?"

Her head was swimming. More than that, her throat burned badly. The fire inside of it was an open flame and she knew she needed to hunt before she could think rationally, but right now emotion was ruling her words and her actions.

"I always end up hurting someone. In the end, that will always be the case. I hurt you by wanting friendship with Jake and I hurt Jake by not wanting anything _more_ than friendship with him. You have my heart. It's yours. You know that. But then how can you not understand why it aches to know that peace is impossible?"

* * *

"I don't insult him! Up until now, I don't believe I've said much of anything at all. But I won't take it back. I won't apologize for hating someone who violently attacked my mate. I _won't_. I will apologize for the pain it causes you because that is not something I ever want to do. But I can't ever forgive him for what he did to you, even if you don't blame him for it. I can't even forgive myself for when I've done the same. Your ability to forgive, I suppose, is much stronger than mine."

Jasper ran a hand through his curls and shook his head. "I never said you had to hate him. I don't want to taint you with feelings of hatred for anyone. But I do have the capacity to hate. Hatred and violence were my only true companions for a very long time. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's true."

He looked down at the ground. "Your heart wasn't something I was ever competing for. It's always been your choice. I don't regard your heart as a possession. It's something I treasure and feel honored to hold. I love you, and I want you to be happy. There is nothing more important to me than that, other than your safety. If you want Jacob Black in your life, if that makes you happy, then I want that for you. But if he attacks you, then you have to understand that I'm not going to just stand there and let it happen. We're mates, Bella. It's not the same as you being my girlfriend. I think you understand that better now that you've become a vampire. I'm not downplaying what we had before, but don't you feel closer to me? Don't you feel everything more intensely now? Did it not physically hurt when we were apart today?

"I understand why you felt you had to do it without telling me, because your assumption would have been right. I would have told you it wasn't the best idea. But I also understand that this confrontation had to happen eventually. I just wish it had been at a later time, when you've had more of a chance to adjust to all the changes." He sighed and kept his gaze on the ground.

"I don't want to keep hurting you. I'm sorry."

* * *

Jasper was right.

About… essentially everything.

He was right when he said she was likely more forgiving than he was. But perhaps that was her downfall. Perhaps she was a hypocrite all along. Edward left and yet, forgiving his actions had been something that was the only acceptable thing for Bella to do in her eyes. If he was capable of hurting her so much when he left and she could forgive him, how could she stand her ground with an opposite point of view when the tables were turned? With Jacob, those tables had been turned. Because someone had been there for her when nobody else could mend pieces of her heart, did that excuse the things to follow? He was capable of filling part of the hole inside her chest but many things he did afterwards put new holes there.

How was it fair for her to only remember his good and not his bad? If she was scarred so badly by a lover who turned her away and yet, could still find love for him in spite of it, why was she not capable of allowing herself to admit that someone who helped save her before was essentially breaking her spirit now?

That was the problem. That was her mistake.

Refusing to accept the fact that sometimes, those fences couldn't be mended was a lot worse than just a clean break from Jacob all together. It was the reason for most of her anger. Because when it came down to it, Bella was mainly angry at herself. In wanting a strong friendship with Jacob, she downplayed the reality of how impossible that was when she made her choice to be associated with the Cullens. Ever the optimist, it would seem, when it came to such a thing.

But what about the incidents that led up to this breaking point? The time Jacob forced a kiss on her, the time he threatened her when she acknowledged the thoughts of becoming a vampire, every single bad word he said about the Cullens and Jasper – a second family to her and her mate. Jasper was right. Every time she'd gone to see Jacob in the past several months had ended with her being devastated.

Still, she continued to try and try again.

Maybe she held Jacob in too high of a regard all along.

Yes, he would always be the one who was responsible for making her feel alive again when she was seemingly a walking ghost to the rest of the world. But he continually hurt her for her choices. Choices that Bella could never think to change. Jasper was her choice. Jacob made have helped her to fill spaces at one point in time where her heart was concerned, but it was Jasper who'd mended it from dust. When it was reduced to absolutely nothing but ash from the tragedies in Italy, when she wished to close her eyes and stop breathing to make the pain stop hurting so badly, it was Jasper that made her whole again.

He not only made her start to feel, but he allowed her to _love_. It didn't matter if decades had passed by with Jacob showing her his affections – Bella would never have been able to love him in the same way. She would never have had her heart back like she did with Jasper. He was who made it unbreakable. When Jasper claimed that her heart was never a possession to him, she knew that to be true. But with Jacob, sadly, she knew a different truth. He was always so desperate to steal that heart. It didn't matter the cost, even if that cost was the soul of the person who it belonged to.

So yes, Bella might have been able to forgive more easily.

But perhaps she was forgiving those who didn't deserve it.

The fact that Jasper even admitted to accepting the fact of having Jacob in her life if she wanted it made the differences between the two of them all the more crystal. Jacob would never have said that about Jasper. He wanted him out of Bella's life completely. How then, could he ever have her best interests at heart? If Jasper _was_ her life, her _happiness_, wanting that gone meant that all Jacob wanted essentially was for Bella to be miserable.

"Yes," she whispered. The tension and anger faded from her, replaced only with guilt. "It hurt. Yes, I feel closer to you. Yes, I feel everything more intensely."

She wanted to reach out for him, but for the moment was scared at how badly she'd hurt him in her anger. Not only that, but in the way she'd hurt him from sneaking off instead of being upfront and honest with him. The situation likely would have ended in the same manner at it had the day before, but perhaps, they would have been together and as he said, it could have been sooner rather than later.

The pain they'd both mentioned previously about being apart seemed to be hinted at even now. They were together, yes. But emotions had separated them for the moment. It was because of such an intense need to be rid of that pain that Bella reached for his hand. She didn't even feel she deserved to touch him right then. It was selfish of her to do so anyway. Such only added to the incursion of guilt and shame.

"I'm the one who keeps hurting you," she said, unable to look at him.

She could just look at their hands as she felt that aforementioned hurt coming from him seeping through her skin.

* * *

Jasper had not sought out to make her feel guilty. He had not been trying to point out any wrongdoing, or for Bella to feel as though she was responsible. There was no right or wrong, because both of them were hurt. They both felt pain and heartache, and Jasper did not want that for either of him. Yes, he was still hurting from the exchange they'd just had as well as her leaving without telling him, but he was much more concerned about her pain. He would not feel an ounce of relief until she was no longer hurting.

The truth of the matter was, there was no easy solution to the situation regarding Jacob Black. There would always be conflict and complications, because that was the way nature had intended things to be. Maybe Bella could bridge the gap between wolves and newborns, but maybe she couldn't. No one else had been able to, but then again, no one else had ever really tried. Jasper didn't know for sure, but what he did know was that he would be at her side no matter what. If she wanted to continue to try to mend the broken ties she had with Jacob, he would support her. He didn't like it, but he loved her and would do anything for her. If she did not want to, then he would be there for her to console her over losing her friend. He would be with her always, for eternity. That was the bottom line.

He took her hand when she reached for it and did not hesitate to lace their fingers. He needed to be close to her again, and had been wanting to hold her hand for a long time. He looked at her, and saw that she was looking at the ground. He could feel her guilt and shame, and immediately wanted to do what he could to ease any of her worries. With his other hand, he lightly lifted her chin so that he could look down into her darkened eyes.

"Belle," he spoke her name tenderly, softly. "You're everything to me. I know I'm too protective, but I can't help it. I love you." He lightly brushed his thumb across her cheek.

* * *

The fact that Jasper was acting so forgiving and understanding toward her only made Bella feel all the more guilty for the moment. It was wrong to do and she tried to avoid doing such a thing at all costs, but now she couldn't help but to make comparisons considering the subject matter was what led them here to begin with. She couldn't keep herself from thinking that if this were Jacob, he wouldn't be so forgiving. He'd likely hold a grudge for something like this and yet Jasper was doing anything but. She didn't even feel as if she deserved him.

Still, she wouldn't deny the relief she felt just at his touch alone. The way his fingers brushed against her face to draw her eyes to him was like a healing grace. It was hard to explain, but Bella knew she didn't have to try. He would already know how the smallest touch would feel coming from his mate. That was how she felt in regard to his own. Explanation was unnecessary in the long run. Even though she was still struggling with her emotions, that didn't stop her from showing him that she appreciated both his touch and his words. Her hand moved to her face to catch the fingers he brushed against her cheek. She nuzzled that cheek against them for a moment before bringing his hand around to her lips to press them to the center of his palm.

"You aren't too protective," she assured him.

She meant that. Bella was the type of person who was mostly independent. Never once did she feel as if Jasper had been out of line with protecting her. Again, that was another thing that differed between him and Jacob. There were times when she'd felt suffocated with the latter. She kissed his hand again, closing her eyes for a moment to try and calm herself. She noted the reason why she was having still such a difficulty in doing so; the burn in her throat was raging.

"I need to hunt," she said, almost shamefully as she met his eyes again. They still had more to talk about, but right now everything else was consumed by her thirst.

* * *

Jasper felt relieved when she began to respond to his touch in a welcoming way. She did not recoil from him or refuse him. He smiled a little when she nuzzled his hand and kissed it. This issue wasn't exactly resolved, and he imagined it probably wouldn't be until they were able to speak with Jacob Black again and Bella could get the kind of resolve she needed of the situation. But he felt that they'd gotten to a point where they could move on for the time being. Jasper had said mostly everything he'd needed to on the matter, but he would talk with her more about it another time if she needed to.

When Bella mentioned she needed to hunt, he nodded in understanding. His own throat felt like it was on fire, and he knew Bella had to be feeling it even more than him. "Come on," he said, taking one of her hands and lacing their fingers.

They were within safe territory to hunt, but Jasper wanted to go a bit further north to give Bella plenty of ground to roam for her prey. Putting more distance between them and any hikers couldn't be a bad thing anyway. He walked with her along the trail for several hundred yards. Words weren't really necessary, for his actions spoke louder. The way he rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand, and how he would lightly brush his arm against hers every so often both spoke volumes.

After several minutes of walking along the trail, he led them off of it into the thick of the woods. They weren't going to find any wildlife on the trail, after all. The animals they were hunting would be far off, deep in the woods. Eventually he let go of Bella's hand, though he was loathe to do so. Even in the midst of their thirst, his need to be close to her was ever present. He sniffed the air, and paused so he could listen for any hearts beating in the area. He was fairly certain he could sense a herd of deer. And he also cold sense that there were bears further on in the direction they'd been heading.

"Go," he said, smiling encouragingly. "I'll be right behind you."

* * *

Bella could feel his relief and that in turn, made her feel somewhat better. They still had some mending to do as far as the issue of Jacob Black was concerned, but they had time to talk about it. The most important thing was that they get their fill of blood before either one of them turned too reckless. Namely, that meant Bella. She was pretty sure that Jasper would have been able to get a hold of himself if he picked up the scent of a stray hiker but for as ravenous as she was feeling at the moment, Bella was sure that she would not have been able to resist.

When he let go of her hand and told her to go on, there was no need for Jasper to ask twice. Bella took off in a sprint, the night wind whipping her hair back behind her and gracefully tore through the woods in search of her prey. She first thought about going for the herd of deer simply on account of the fact that they were closer, but when she got closer and therefore could take in the stronger more appetizing scent of bear, she changed her mind. She didn't bother with much strategy. Instead she focused on urgency. Two of the bears were close in distance. Instead of stalking them both, she tore after one of them. But she did not take that one for the kill for herself. Instead she chased it back toward Jasper. She was hunting for her mate.

When she was confident that he would effortlessly be able to get his fill with the grizzly (which he could have done anyway on his own) instead of letting her have both of them, she took off after the other one who'd retreated deeper into the woods.

Since she'd had more practice, her skills as far as grace when hunting had improved since the first time she'd gone on an excursion with Jasper. Granted, she still had a long way to go. When she was through with the bear, she was a bit of a mess. Not enough to care until they'd hunted the herd of deer to ensure both of their thirsts were satisfied. The immense relief she felt when she was finished calmed her down considerably from the fiery nature she'd been in when they were confronting the wolves. With the burn in her throat cooled, it was much easier to think.

"How did I do?" she asked Jasper when she joined him again. No matter how many times they'd hunted since she was changed, she still asked every time to get his advice.

* * *

Jasper felt a dull ache in his heart as he watched her run off. Even though they'd soon be reunited and they were only separated in order to hunt for blood, he still felt a slight pain in his heart from being away from his beloved. It was part of their bond, and though it hurt, it was worth it to have such a strong connection with Bella. For that, Jasper was grateful. He would just make sure he got his fill very quickly so he could return to her as soon as possible.

He took off after her, a safe distance behind so that while she fed she would not feel another vampire was invading on her territory or trying to take her kill from her. Bella had displayed a considerable amount of control, but he was still wary about her thirst. Having trained newborns for so long, he knew their tendencies and how they thought. He didn't want to loop Bella in with every other newborn, but he had to base his knowledge off experience. Still, he was giving Bella much more freedom than he would have in the past. As Jasper ran, he could hear the sounds of her hunting ahead, and heard one of the bears headed his way. He smirked a little to himself. Either she didn't want that bear, or she was sending it to him. He figured it was probably the latter. Jasper wasn't about to turn down the offer.

With cat-like agility, he sprung while in mid-run, and lunged at the bear. Despite not feeling any pain when he hunted animals, he still did not find any pleasure in taking the life of another creature. Because of that, he did not prolong it. He quickly brought down the bear and drained it of its blood. The burning in his throat became much more tolerable, though not completely extinguished. Jasper ran with her after the deer, and together they took down most of them. He had to stop her after a few, because they had to hunt in moderation so as not to rouse any sort of suspicion.

As they reunited, he smirked a little. She was quite a sight, and that was a good thing. He leaned in and licked a bit of blood off the corner of her mouth and jaw, the coppery taste dancing on his taste buds.

"Incredibly well," he murmured, before kissing her lips to allow her a taste of the blood he'd just cleaned off of her.

* * *

Bella made a mental note to always be a little less cautious when she was through with hunting. That decision was made when Jasper made a point to clean away any traces of blood on her face and her lips with his tongue. Perhaps that was why she never seemed to care about her appearance when she was through with hunting. He certainly never minded how she looked from what she could tell. His lips were a testament to that fact.

When he met her lips to let her taste the blood, she kissed him back slowly to do just that. Her tongue swept along his lower lip before sliding into his mouth and familiarizing itself again sensually with his own. All of their kisses held a passion to them, whether they were the briefest of pecks or longer, much more involved liplocks. But the ones they shared after they hunted always had a hint of their kills mixed with them and it made them feel electric. Mainly due to the adrenaline that followed a successful hunting trip.

"You taste incredibly well," she said with a grin as she pulled back.

Reaching a hand up, she rubbed her thumb along his lip before drawing it into her own mouth to savor the remaining taste. Dropping her hand again, she rested it on his hip as her mind wandered back to when she still human.

"Did I always taste bad to you before? After I'd eat human food and we'd kiss?" She made a face as she thought about human food. It was still strange to her that even the mention of it disgusted her when she was still a human just a short time ago. "How did you stand eating it when we went to Mom and Phil's?" she asked, scrunching up her nose.

She couldn't even imagine having to actually _ingest_ anything other than blood now.

* * *

Bella never had any reason to worry about her appearance after a hunting trip. While she might be concerned with her state of dress or the disarray of her hair, Jasper just found her all the more alluring. Part of it was from the adrenaline and natural high that came along with drinking blood, and the other part was simply the fact that Bella was his mate and he was always going to have a very strong attraction to her. Combining the two, naturally he was going to be very, very drawn to her.

Her kisses had always tasted sweet, but when there was a dash of blood laced in with the kisses it took things to a whole other level. The taste of her and blood together sent another rush through his body, causing him to long for her in a way that had he been able to explore it fully would have ended up with the two of them on the ground tangled together in the heat of passion.

Bella, however, steered them in a different direction by starting to talk about human food. Jasper raked a hand through his blond curls and blinked his eyes a couple of times, coming down from his high as thoughts of human food crept into his brain.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Kissing you never tasted bad." It was an endearing question, despite the fact that it had interrupted what he'd thought was going to be an intense make out session. "Quite the opposite. I couldn't get enough of your kisses, if you recall. I still can't."

As he recalled the taste of human food, his nose scrunched lightly. "It's just a bit uncomfortable," he replied. "It tastes bad, but it's tolerable. Once it gets into your system, that's when it's bad." He wasn't going to go into how he always had to retreat to the restroom in her mother's house after they ate to throw up the food he'd just eaten. That wasn't exactly the path he wanted to steer the conversation. "It was worth a little discomfort, though."

As they talked about human food, Jasper had taken her hand and begun to walk her back towards the campsite. It wasn't quite time to meet up with the family yet, but by the time they reached it he figured it'd be close.

* * *

Bella smiled when he answered her. Of course she didn't expect him to say she had a bad taste to her. He was far too much of a gentleman to ever say such a thing, even if he thought it were true. But he didn't need to bend the truth in this instance. Bella could always tell that he was being genuine. And with her, he always was without fail. There was no need to question or to hold doubts. There was, however, a small need to feel confident when he reminded her just how much he liked her kisses both then and now. If he couldn't get enough of them, that was fine by her. She was always happy to supply him with an unlimited amount without being persuaded.

It wasn't exactly the most pleasant thing to talk about, but Bella was still so touched by the fact that Jasper endured so much human food in order to keep up with appearances when they went to visit her family. The two of them could have come up with excuses – they'd already eaten, Jasper wasn't feeling well, etc – but there was no need because he volunteered to make a sacrifice. Bella felt lucky to have someone who would do that for her, that cared so much about her that he would want to make such sacrifices. That was the way she felt about him. Jasper would always come first in her eyes and no matter what she needed to do or to give up in order to ensure that always happened, she would see that it occurred.

She could tell they were getting closer to the campsite where they would be meeting up with the family and spending the rest of the night with them. She knew that meant that there would probably be little alone time for she and her mate when that occurred. Bella loved the rest of their family and thus, she didn't mind, but she wanted to make sure she got the most out of the small amount of time they had together before they returned to the others. Thus, she stopped her footsteps and held tight to his hand to make sure he did the same.

Letting go, she fisted his collar in her hands and pulled on the fabric of his shirt – not enough to rip it, but to pull his face down toward hers as she stood on her tiptoes. Then, she kissed him something fierce. It was by no means a long kiss, but it didn't need to be. There was enough passion and heat in the small frame in which her lips were against his to remind him of it long after they broke apart.

"Sorry," she said innocently when she let go of his shirt and lowered to her feet again. "Couldn't help myself. I think I'm all set now."

She smirked and reached for his hand again so they could continue on together.

* * *

**Author's Note:** As promised, this chapter was up much quicker! We hoped you enjoyed it. It was a wake up call for Bella in a lot of ways. Next chapter is when the two of them tell Charlie the truth. Stay tuned! Also, just a reminder! Peter and Charlotte are coming up soon! We promise! Look for them around chapter 18 or 19! Once again, it's worth the wait! ;D Please review! We love hearing from you all! Cheers! x

**Lyrics: **Colorblind - The Dresden Dolls


	16. Chapter 16

_Make it a note to take your time, they begged_  
_Take baby steps to everywhere, and come home in one piece to us._  
_You know, it's so good to be home_  
_And know that when I hit the road_  
_I'm thinking of you both, I miss you ;;_

"I can't do this."

Ever since Bella had undergone her transformation into being a vampire, there was a big part that was missing. While she was so fulfilled by her new life with Jasper and the Cullens and being one of their kind officially, there was still a nagging hole in her heart that she knew could only be filled by her biological family. Charlie and Renee.

She'd known, going into everything, that not being able to see them would undoubtedly be the most difficult part. Jasper had warned her that she would be giving up a lot, but she'd be able to do so almost effortlessly with that one big exception. Not being able to sleep or to eat human food or go out in public right away had been easy things, things that she never had to blink an eye at. But while things got easier for her in terms of adjusting to her new body and her new life, it only became increasingly more difficult for her to be cut off from the rest of her family. Charlie, especially. There had been so many times when she was so tempted to just tell him the truth, show up at the front door of her old home and just let him in on everything that had really been happening, not only in the past two months, but in the past two years of her life. There was a lot that he had no idea about.

But she'd resisted and the reason was only for his safety. She knew that it wasn't safe for him to know the truth yet. Apart from that… she was _scared_.

She didn't know how he was going to react to the fact that his daughter was no longer human, she was engaged to a vampire, and she completely lied about everything since she'd arrived in Forks to an extent. She'd especially lied about her entire college existence. Not once had she even stepped foot in the university in the east since she'd announced she was going there for school. It had all been a fabrication.

At first, it seemed to be okay. Charlie didn't check in since she was just arriving and she'd told him prior to 'leaving' that she was going to need some time to adjust and that it would be difficult to get a hold of her until she was settled in. She'd promised to call him as soon as she was. Bella never did. She couldn't. Even her voice was different than it was before in some way. He would know something was wrong. Not that lying was any better. It killed her to know that he kept calling and getting no answer. The only thing she could do was send him a letter. All of it was lies about how much she liked her classes and the school and how she was settling nicely, but didn't have a phone line yet. Even the postage had been fabricated thanks to Esme.

It was a wonder that Jacob didn't spill everything. It would have been breaking the treaty to tell Charlie that Bella was a vampire and the truth about the Cullens, but he could have at least said that he knew Bella wasn't where she said she was supposed to be. Neither was Jasper for that matter. But it never seemed like Jacob did anything of the sort or else Charlie would have acted a lot more drastically a lot sooner. He made frequent calls to the Cullens to speak with Carlisle who told him that he was sure things were fine and not to worry, that if there was a problem, surely, Charlie would know. But that was all the good doctor would allow to be said. Renee continually assured Charlie that Bella was just being a teenager in love (after of course, she learned that Jasper was nowhere to be found as well, and it wasn't _just_ that her only daughter was missing on her own). But Charlie was persistent. After he'd called Carlisle to tell him the latest, Bella knew that she had to do something. Charlie spoke with both Bella's landlord, who'd told her that Bella hadn't been there and never had been, and with the baseball coach where Jasper was supposedly attending school only to learn that Jasper had declined the scholarship and the spot on the team.

And so the decision was made.

Bella decided she needed to talk to Charlie. Not just over the phone, but face to face. She needed to tell him the truth. She needed to tell him everything. He needed to see her first hand. She couldn't make him suffer any longer.

But it wasn't that easy. It was still very dangerous for her to be so closely interacting with a human. Jasper and the rest of the family assured her she was ready and that they had faith in her, which made her feel better. But now, sitting outside of the house behind Charlie's police car in her beloved truck, she was housing a lot of doubts.

"If I slip up… If I can't… It's _Charlie_," she said, looking over at Jasper who was situated behind the steering wheel in the driver's side. She'd been too nervous to do so.

* * *

In the time that had passed since the incident at Yellowstone, Jasper had been trying to come to terms with the realization he had about himself. Before he became part of the Cullen family, he had no idea that there was any alternative to the life he'd been living. Living, if one could call it that. He'd been merely existing, trudging through one endless day that was his eternity. He had nothing to compare his life to, until he learned of Carlisle Cullen and his family. When he found out that he could live his life without human blood as they did, it gave him a hope for himself. He'd put his whole heart into following Carlisle's example in the hopes that one day he'd be like the rest of them. If he just tried hard enough, he'd overcome his blood lust and no longer be controlled by his thirst.

Wishful thinking.

After witnessing Bella's display of control, it had been made very clear that nurture won out over nature. All of Jasper's beliefs were shattered. It was a painful realization he was struggling very hard to accept. He was always going to struggle. Because of what Maria had done to him, he would never be like the others. He did not allow himself to use his creator as an excuse for his actions, but the truth was, she was the one who had conditioned him to be as he was. No amount of discipline could erase that. It was just something he had to accept, and that was what he was trying to do. He wasn't going to give up; Jasper would never go back to the life he had before becoming one of the Cullens. Having their support, as well as Bella's, really did help him. Right now, though, she needed his. He would put aside his struggles for the time being in order to be there for her.

Their charade was one that Jasper had hoped would hold out for a little while longer. Charlie, though, was a very dedicated father and currently quite worried about his daughter. Renee had been a good buffer for his worries, as had Carlisle and Esme, but they could only do so much to deter the police chief. Charlie was a very resourceful man, and smart. Their cover was blown and they had to face him now.

This was a huge risk. Having to tell him the truth could have devastating effects. Jasper was prepared to be there to help her pick up the pieces should Charlie's reaction not be in their favor, but he knew that Bella might never recover from it because he knew how much she loved him. This day was bound to come at some point, but, he knew it wasn't going to be easy no matter when it was.

"You won't slip up," he said calmly, reaching out to gently brush his fingertips against her cheek.

Jasper knew he had the ability to actually sway the situation into their favor. He could use his power on Charlie to keep him from feeling any sort of anger or sorrow, but he wouldn't do that. It wouldn't be right, no matter how much he didn't want Bella to have to endure any sort of pain.

"I'll be with you."

For what it was worth; his faith in himself wasn't exactly strong, but he _would_ be strong for her.

* * *

Bella sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. There was no going back now. Charlie might have even have heard the truck pulling up – it wasn't exactly the quietest of automobiles. Even if he didn't, she needed to do this. She needed to see him again. There was still a wedding that was coming in the future and she would be heartbroken if her family couldn't be there. To ensure they could be, this was vital.

Jasper's fingers against her cheek caused her eyes to open again. They were brown, now. Even if she was coming forward with the truth to her father, he didn't need to see her with blood red eyes. They still hadn't darkened to gold, though they were not as frighteningly bright as before. The contacts were irritable and would dissolve as she learned, but she had two other pairs with her to take care of that problem. She looked over at Jasper again and nodded, giving his fingers a squeeze. Having him there helped more than anything else. He was her constant support system. His opinion on the matter had been of the utmost importance. If Bella had her way, she would have wanted to see Charlie the day after she was changed. But she needed to be logical for Charlie's safety and when Jasper told her he thought she was ready, she knew she was.

Getting out of the car, she put her gloves on as they walked up to the front door. She didn't want to shock Charlie with the cold, either. Her altered appearance would be enough. Until she had a chance to explain, she wanted to take a few precautions if she was able. Once they were at the door, she paused. She first made as if she were going to knock but then thought better of it. Opening the door, she held her breath. That was not on account of just nerves, but because of the smell that overcame her upon doing so. It was familiar but it was also mouthwatering and she had to try not to breathe for a moment. But a moment was all she was spared until she had to speak.

"Dad?" she called out.

Her voice sounded like her own. But that also could have been because she was used to it now and used to spend hours trying to find herself in it after her change.

She couldn't dwell on that. There was a clatter in the family room, something that sounded like the TV dinner tray falling to the floor with silverware to follow, and then very distinct footprints. And then he was there.

Nothing about him changed. While she might have changed in so many ways, her dad remained the same as always. Clad in jeans and a plaid shirt untucked with his moustache and disheveled hair, the sight of him made something in Bella's chest pull, despite the fact that her heart no longer beat. The look on his face nearly broke that same heart though. It was such a mix of surprise, joy, worry…

She could only imagine the emotions Jasper was feeling coming from him. Let alone coming from her.

* * *

"Bella?"

Charlie couldn't believe his daughter was standing there in the hallway. For two months, she'd worried him sick. No calls, no word from her save for a letter at least six weeks prior. He knew she hadn't gone to school. He didn't know anything else. He didn't know if she was hurt or in trouble or laying in a ditch somewhere dead.

But there she was. His Bells.

She looked different, but at first, he could hardly take that into account. She was _there_.

"Jesus, Bells," he said, pulling her into a tight embrace. She seemed stiff and the first thing his mind went back to was that she was in some sort of trouble and she was apprehensive with nerves.

"Where have you been? What the hell were you thinking? I haven't heard from you in weeks. Weeks, Bella."

As any father would assume that was as protective of his daughter as Charlie was, his eyes narrowed at Jasper when he pulled back, assessing the boy who he knew was somehow responsible. He might have learned to like him, but that was before he and his daughter went missing for two months.

* * *

The rush of emotions that Jasper felt when Charlie heard Bella's voice had nearly knocked him off his feet. Bella's nerves had been hard enough to ward off. He'd promised her long ago he'd never manipulate her emotions, though he really wished he could have helped her to calm down a little more, for the sake of her control. It wouldn't do her any favors to be on edge. Still, he hadn't broken his promise. He knew that when she came out of this situation without having harmed Charlie, she'd be better off having done it herself. It would give her more faith in herself and in her control and that was something he really wanted for her.

Jasper briefly contemplated calming Charlie again, but he knew that wasn't the right thing to do. Charlie needed to deal with this as naturally as possible, otherwise Jasper would have to control the police chief's emotions for as long as he lived. That wasn't something he had any desire to do. He remained silent as Charlie addressed Bella, and when he felt the other man's eyes on him he knew that he was being given a bit of a death stare. It hurt him, though he couldn't blame Charlie for his anger towards him. Still, it saddened him because he and Charlie had gotten close. He knew that Charlie's opinion of him had probably returned to being very low, if not lower than ever. He nodded a slight greeting, though he didn't say anything.

Charlie was indeed staring Jasper down. He'd given the seemingly younger man his blessing to marry his only daughter and then he'd skipped down to God only knew where, and Bella hadn't contacted in him weeks. While he knew quite well that Bella had a strong mind of her own, she as his daughter, and he was going to put the blame completely on Jasper for this. He kept Bella close to him and stepped aside to allow them to come in, though he wasn't too keen on Jasper being around.

"Do you want to tell me where the hell you were?" Charlie asked Bella once the door was shut. "I called your landlord. I contacted _his_ school. You were not where you said you'd be, Bells! What was I supposed to think?"

Jasper felt terribly guilty. This was his fault, even if it had been Bella's decision.

"We never went to the east coast," Jasper finally said, hoping it would help Bella to begin telling her father the truth.

* * *

When Charlie pulled his daughter into a hug, Bella immediately was forced to cut off her air supply. She wasn't used to Charlie's scent yet, even if he was her father and it was extremely difficult when he was suddenly so close to her. Venom filled her mouth and her throat ached with a burn but she forced herself to focus. She turned her head slightly to be able to look at Jasper. He would understand her current struggle. He was much more used to her father's scent as a vampire than she was and so she used him as a focal point for strength. She wanted so much to hug her father back tightly like she normally would have. But she had too much strength to do that and she was still afraid of the newness of being in his presence when she was so attracted to the scent of his blood.

All of his questions were to be expected. Actually, Bella expected there to be about a hundred more concerning her whereabouts and why she hadn't contacted him, but she was intending to try and explain everything before he could continue firing them off. Luckily, Jasper was there to get things started. He seemed to know her better than she knew herself sometimes and now was a testament to that. She hesitated and when she had, that was when he dropped the first bomb – albeit the obvious one – that they had never gone to school. Glancing at Jasper briefly after he spoke, she looked back to Charlie who was turning a bit red in the face.

"Dad, I think you better sit down," she said, walking into the family room.

She picked up the remote and turned off the TV, waiting for Charlie to take her advice. He was hesitant to do so. Especially after the most obvious idea hit him smack in the face.

Suddenly his face went from slightly red to an angry, darker shade. Why hadn't he thought of this before? It should have been the first thing to cross his mind. It explained why Bella hadn't called. It explained why she was avoiding him. It explained why the two of them didn't go to college as they were supposed to.

"You son of a bitch, you got her pregnant!" He exclaimed, pointing a finger at Jasper.

He looked back at the hallway and debated getting his gun for a second. He could at least scare him off, he figured. Charlie knew there was a reason not to trust that Cullen kid after all.

* * *

Bella immediately recognized the reason for her father's averted eyes and jumped into action immediately to put his wrong assumption to rest before he started for any sort of weapon.

"No, dad! I'm not _pregnan_t!" she assured him. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment and sighed. "Dad, seriously, just sit down," she all but begged. She wondered if being pregnant would actually be an easier blow than for the truth that she was about to tell him.

"Please," she added when she looked and he was still looking like he was ready to make a run for his gun holster.

When he finally obliged begrudgingly, still shooting daggers at Jasper, Bella started.

"We never went to school. We never even left Forks," she admitted. "I've been with the Cullens the whole time."

She sighed again, closing her eyes. She didn't know how she could sugarcoat things. She didn't know what she could say to possibly make the truth sound any easier. There _was_ no easy way to say it. She was struggling with possibilities for how to drag it out longer at least, but she was drawing blanks. There would be nothing to do but to just… tell him.

She sat on the armchair next to the couch and started fidgeting with her gloves after taking them off in her lap.

"Dad…" she started, biting her lower lip for a moment. "I'm… sort of a… vampire now," she said, looking up at him with a slight wince after she told the truth. Very, very bluntly.

It was almost embarrassingly blunt. It seemed awkward the way she came out with it and in actuality, as if she were playing some sort of joke. But Bella _was_ awkward, vampire or not and she truthfully didn't know how else to say it.

* * *

Jasper watched with a careful eye as Charlie embraced his daughter. He'd known that would be the police chief's initial reaction and it was one of the things he was worried about the most. He knew Bella would forgive him if he used his power on her to keep her calm during their frantic embrace, but he wasn't going to do it unless it was absolutely necessary. His beloved's control seemed in place, though, and he didn't have to tap into his ability to keep her emotions in check. He knew how hard this was; he was having difficulty with it himself. Charlie's pulse was rapid. His emotions were going haywire, but anger was most definitely the most present. The rush of blood to Charlie's face was difficult to endure as well.

It was really hard for him to listen to Charlie throwing accusations at him. Jasper had anticipated this and he _did_ take full blame for the separation between father and daughter. That guilt amplified when he witnessed first hand how devastated Charlie was. Most of his anger, Jasper knew, was impulsive. He tried his best not to let any of his hurt show. Jasper sat quietly and took the brunt of Charlie's anger. The only comforting part was that it was all being thrown at him and not at Bella. It would hopefully help Bella keep her own emotions in control if she wasn't getting yelled at directly. He didn't try to defend himself much, though, knowing it would probably only provoke Charlie further.

Bella's confession was... probably the best way to break the news to someone like Charlie. Hit him with blunt honesty, then let him process it and they could move on from there. Sugar coating things wouldn't be the way to go, and Bella knew her father well. Jasper watched the police chief as the news hit him. He could feel Charlie's confusion, his shock, his anger, and more and more confusion.

"What?"

That was all that Charlie could manage to say. Of all the things his daughter could have said to him, that was by far the last he ever thought he'd hear. He'd been prepared to kill Jasper and hide the evidence if necessary, he'd been prepared to do what he had to do to help Bella if she was pregnant, he'd been prepared for _anything_ but what she said.

Jasper figured now was as good of a time as any for him to speak up.

"My family and I are vampires, Chief Swan. Bella has become one as well. We had to disappear for a while, until she was ready to come home," he said. "Listen to what she has to say. Suspend what you have perceived as reality, just for right now."

* * *

If she could focus on what she was telling him, Bella couldn't focus as much on how appealing her father smelled to her. It was _such_ an appetizing scent, much more so than the wounded human they came across while hunting at Yellowstone. The fact that his emotions were having a physical effect by causing the blood to rush to his face. She was well aware of the fact and was momentarily captivated by the heavy thrumming of his heart inside of his chest, quickened by the news that was just dropped and the wrong assumptions and worry he held leading up to it. The taste of venom was prominent in her mouth and she had to close her throat whenever she could manage it in order to keep from continually breathing in the scent that was so overpowering. She didn't know how Jasper and the others ever could manage to attend school or Carlisle who worked with humans every single day. _Injured_ ones. Bella didn't think she would ever reach that point. With the struggle she was having now, it seemed unlikely.

But she couldn't think about that right now. She needed to continue to focus on Charlie. She needed to explain as best she could without him thinking she was crazy or worse, dangerous. Even if the fact of the matter was, was that indeed she was very dangerous to him. Her eyes remained on Charlie when Jasper spoke, trying to gauge his reaction. She didn't need to have the ability to read emotions to know the ones that her father was experiencing at the moment. She could see the confusion written across his face.

"Bells?" he questioned when he turned back to her.

With some difficulty, she forced herself to take in air again as she spoke. "Dad, haven't you ever noticed that the Cullens were… different?" she asked slowly. "Why they look the way they do? Why… _I_ look different now?" she asked.

She watched her father's eyes and he surveyed her and she could tell that he was taking in the changes to her appearance. The pale, smooth skin, the elegance of her more defined features, the dark circles under her eyes that resembled purplish bruises. Surely he heard the difference in her voice, as used to it as she might have become. She waited for him to respond before saying anything else, letting him try to process things as he went along and knowing that it was a lot to take in.

The police chief's brow furrowed. "You look… beautiful, Bells. You always have," he said. "I thought it was a pregnancy glow or whatever they call it."

The word 'pregnancy' concerning his teenage daughter still left a very bitter taste in his mouth. But there was a new word he needed to try out, roll on his tongue to get a taste for. Vampire. He didn't want to say it out loud. Not now. It wasn't necessary. He'd heard what the both of them said and found no use in repeating it. All he did was continue to stare at her. He could barely even process it.

"It's me, Dad," she assured him.

Bella had been waiting for him to start off with the questions. When she finally figured out what Edward and his family were, she had hundreds after getting past the initial revelation of it and assuring him she didn't care.

But Charlie only had one at first. "Does your mother know about this?" he asked with a sigh that sounded like it included some resignation within it.

To that, Bella couldn't help but to crack a grin as she shook her head. There was no way to have predicted how Charlie would react, if he would even _believe_ her, but something about that sigh coupled with that question seemed to characteristic of her father.

* * *

Jasper had a very strong sense of faith in Bella. It wasn't just because of his love for her, or because of the control she was able to display when in the presence of a bleeding human. He knew she would not harm her father because of what he meant to her. It was Charlie whom Bella thought of when she was able to harness her control over her thirst. Being in his presence, while difficult, he knew would also be her source of strength to remain in control of herself. He knew she could channel that, and keep herself grounded. She might not be ready for school yet, but Jasper knew he was right that she was ready for a conversation with her father.

Charlie's question made Jasper smirk a little as well. He hadn't been entirely sure what to expect. Was he going to spring up, break off the leg of the coffee table and try to stake him? Would he start with the yelling again, accusing him of condemning his daughter of a life of hell? Would he deny what they were saying was true, and demand to know what was really going on? No. He didn't do any of those things. He was sure more questions were to follow once the weight of the truth set in, but for now he was still taking it all in.

Telling Bella's mother Renee was going to take an entirely different approach. No doubt she would be the one to immediately start firing off question after question after question. With Charlie, Jasper honestly had not known what to expect. He still didn't.

"We wanted you to know before anyone else," he said, though still not entirely sure what to make of it. Charlie's emotions were a bit muddled. He couldn't tell how he was going to react next.

Charlie nodded, his brow furrowed. He was glad to know before his ex-wife, but he still didn't understand what he now _knew_. He couldn't say the word, and probably wouldn't for a long time. But Charlie was a man who pushed forward through situations, even if he didn't understand them.

"So what does this mean, Bells? Where do you go from here?"

* * *

Bella wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. She would have if it wouldn't have involve taking in a gulp of air filled with Charlie's scent. The way he was handling it was… well, since she didn't know what to expect, she couldn't really make many comparisons. But all things considered, with news like that, Charlie was taking it a lot better than she could have hoped for. He didn't start flipping out (though that was never in Charlie's nature to begin with), or worse, refuse to believe what they were saying. It was clear he believed what they were telling him, but it was also clear he was working through it in his head still.

"Well," she started, glancing over at Jasper for a moment before again looking back at Charlie. "We're going to stay here for awhile. For as long as we can. I don't know how much longer that will be since some people might start to question why all of us look the same. Carlisle especially. He's supposed to be a lot older than he is," she explained. "But... I - _we_ - would like to stay as long as we can. Jasper and I have a house outside of town on the lake. As long as we lay low, we're okay. At least for a few months until we're supposed to have come back from school."

She paused, took a moment to collect her strength, then stood to walk over to the couch where Charlie was seated. Giving Jasper a knowing look to keep an eye on her, she reached for her father's hand. She could feel the way he started slightly at the chill of her skin and could see the goosebumps raising on his forearms. His skin was hot, almost in the way that Jacob's used to feel to her when she was a human. Charlie gently placed his hand over hers and she again, had to swallow the venom that flooded her mouth, taking a few moments before she could speak again. When she did, it was still very difficult and her throat burned, but she forced herself to remember the importance of this.

This was Charlie. This was _Charlie_.

"I'm sorry I lied, Dad. I didn't want to, but there was no other way. Please don't be mad at Jasper," she said, glancing over at her fiancé again. "This was not his choice. It was mine. This is what I wanted," she said, focusing back on Charlie. "It's important to me that you know that."

The chief was quiet for a minute, one that felt agonizingly long to Bella, before he heaved a sigh again. "I guess I can't ground you this time," he said, giving her hand a pat. "I'm just glad to have you back, Bells. You can't do that to me again. You can't just... disappear. You can't. Even if you are a... well," he said, stopping there, his brow furrowed as he silently swallowed the word, the truth.

* * *

After another moment or so, Jasper could feel ultimately acceptance from Charlie. There was still a considerable amount of confusion there, but Jasper could feel that Charlie had accepted the circumstances as the truth. There was some apprehension, but Jasper knew that it was because this was a completely new concept and the real world as Charlie knew it had just gotten a lot bigger. What mattered most to him though, was that Bella was safe and she was home.

Jasper felt he was in a much better position to speak now, and there was something he wanted to make sure Charlie knew now that everything was out in the open.

"I want to make sure you know, Chief Swan, that everything I said when I came to you about asking Bella to marry me was the truth." He was still referring to him formally, as his guilt over the situation and causing them to have to be apart was had not gone away.

"I still want Bella to do all of the things she wants with her life, and will support her in any of her life's endeavors. There will be some delay while she continues to adapt, but.. she's already well on her way. There isn't a doubt in my mind that she won't be able to do anything she wants."

Though he was still kind of wanting an excuse to draw his gun on Jasper, he found it a little difficult to find one. Bella had made it clear that this was her choice, and while Charlie might question that choice forever, he couldn't blame Jasper for it. He couldn't even blame Jasper for bringing her into this whole new reality, since it was actually Edward who had done that. He wanted to believe what Jasper had to say.

For Bella's sake, it all _had_ to be true.

"There's something I've got to ask. Those animal attacks, and the missing people. Bells.." He looked at her, not wanting to outright accuse her or the Cullens outright, but he had to know.

* * *

When Jasper spoke, Bella's heart swelled. When he proposed to her and afterwards told her about the conversation he had with Charlie, she wished so badly she could have been there to witness it. It would have ruined the surprise of the engagement, for certain. But she still would have loved to see that exchange between the life of her life and her dad, especially since Jasper had told her how well it went. Hearing him say those things now, again to her Charlie, she was reminded of why she loved him so much and of why she made her choice to begin with. He never compromised anything for her; only encouraged. She loved him for that and she could tell that as much as her father may have been quick to accuse, that he respected Jasper for that too. He appreciated that. Even knowing the truth about their existence, Charlie still had to admit that he knew his daughter was in good hands with Jasper.

Charlie's question caused her to pull her eyes away from Jasper, though she really would have been content in just staring at him in admiration for hours more without blinking an eye. She didn't need to, if one was being factual. But she did blink when she looked back at Charlie. Of course it made sense for him to question what had happened in the past several months with the humans disappearing starting in Seattle and getting closer and closer to home. She was surprised that hadn't been his first question. Rather, his first question to be what it was they ate. He was smart to put two and two together about the disappearances and attacks with the truth Bella and Jasper just dropped on him.

"They were vampires, yes" she admitted. "But not the Cullens. They were bad vampires. They… well, they aren't a problem anymore."

She figured that was enough to tell him in regard to the newborns and the nomadic vampires. Going into the full story about how it all started with James wouldn't do Charlie any favors. She knew what he was getting at.

"The Cullens… well, and me now… we only feed on animals. Sort of like vegetarian vampires. It's Carlisle's way. We would never harm a human intentionally," she assured him. "There are a lot of precautions to take, which is why I couldn't contact you sooner. I needed to be sure I was ready. It was dangerous," she said. She didn't want to scare him, but she needed him to know the full truth.

She paused for a minute, looking down at her lap. "There's… something else you should know," she said. What she was about to say next was something that she didn't know whether to come clean about or not. It would be hard, not only for Charlie to hear, but for Jasper to hear and for her to say as well.

"Edward and Alice…" she said, softly. "They weren't killed in a hiking accident."

She didn't say anything more yet. Just let him process that and waited to see if he would question that more. She was hoping, in truth, that he wouldn't.

* * *

Jasper tried not to flinch. Bella's choice of words, while true, somewhat reflected his opinion of himself. _Bad vampires_. Had he not been one of them himself?

He'd been more bloodthirsty than James, more ruthless than Victoria. He was _still_ dangerous. Charlie would never have allowed him in his home if he knew the sins he'd committed in his long existence. Some of which had occurred recently. Jasper _had_ been responsible for at least one death in town, though the body had never been found and the man was presumed missing. Part of him wondered if he ought to come clean about that, but he did not think now was the appropriate time. That aside, those responsible for the other deaths _were_ bad in other aspects. Jasper had, at least, put himself on a path towards redemption. Him killing that man had not been something Jasper intended to do, unlike the others. He wasn't justifying his actions, but he did not _want_ to believe himself to be bad.

Bella addressing Edward and Alice was something else that made him tense for a moment. That was never going to be easy for either of them to talk about, no matter how much time had passed. The trauma Bella had endured being a part of it on top of the tragic loss of two lives was just not something that could easily be recalled. Jasper was quiet again, unsure of what to say. What he hoped for Charlie now, was that since he knew the truth of them being vampires, he might understand Edward's motives for leaving a little bit better and think of his brother in a better light. He knew Charlie had been very fond of Alice as well; it only seemed fair he knew the truth about the two of them.

Charlie was a man of few details. He did not need to hear what had become of the two fallen vampires. He could guess, since he knew it resulted in their deaths.

"Bad vampires," he simply said, looking between the two of them.

Jasper nodded once. "Yes," he said.

He did not want to make false promises to Charlie about how the Volturi wouldn't ever be a presence in their lives again when the truth was, he knew there would be a day when they came calling again. That again, was not something he was going to go into detail about. They'd dropped a heavy weight on Charlie by revealing their world in the first place. Now was not the time to expose him to the horrors of it when they were trying to keep him a part of their lives. There was a promise he could make though, without a doubt in his mind.

"I won't let anyone harm Bella. If there is one thing you will ever trust about me again, let it be that."

* * *

Bella felt relief again when Charlie didn't ask any questions save for a vague one when it came to her telling the truth about Edward and Alice. And yes, she hoped that he would look better on Edward's memory as a result of knowing that truth. She would never tell him about the Volturi in the detail that she came to know them; she was sure of that. She would never tell him the full story about what had happened in Italy. She knew he would somehow become irrational and do something stupid, even though he wouldn't know what he was getting himself into. Not that he could do much, considering, but at the very least, it wouldn't do him any favors to know that she had been in danger before and she was still, in a way, in danger of being confronted with the Volturi again in the future. Likely sooner, rather than later. It was just better that he was oblivious to all of that.

Charlie nodded at Jasper when he made a promise regarding Bella's safety. "Sorry," he said to the blonde vampire. "For accusing. Police chief and all," he said with a shrug.

He did feel slightly guilty for blaming Jasper without regard to knowing the truth first. But he was protective father. He couldn't apologize for that. All he could do was accept the truth he was given. It was far better to his worse thoughts – that he would never see his daughter again. But there she was. A little altered, but it was still his Bells.

To Charlie, that was what mattered.

Bella couldn't help but to smile when her father apologized to Jasper. She took that as a good sign. As well as things had gone thus far, she didn't know if it was going to be so easy if she didn't hunt soon. Her throat was still aching badly from being surrounded by Charlie's scent and she knew that the contacts she had in weren't going to hold up much longer. While she had extra pairs of those to disguise the color of her eyes, she didn't have an extra supply of blood on hand to appease her thirst. Jasper would be able to feel that she was starting to get anxious and he knew the reason why.

"Dad, I really hate to just leave you with all of this. I wish I had more time to explain it better, but I'm still getting used to this. Every time it will be a little easier but I think we better get going now," she said, feeling guilty that she couldn't spend longer with him. It was for his safety though, that she couldn't. It was for the fact that she wanted more time with him in the future that she couldn't risk pushing it now.

Charlie nodded and got to his feet. He wanted more time too, but this was more than he'd expected. The last thing he thought to happen that day was to see his Bells and there she was, just waltzing right in the front door. And now he knew the truth. While he didn't understand all of it, he understood enough and it was the _truth_. And she was safe. He was promised that she would remain that way, too. That was what he wanted. Pulling her into another hug, he tried not to shiver at her cold touch.

"It's good to see you, kid. Just don't go disappearing on me again." He held her a little tighter before letting go and reaching out a hand to Jasper. "Keep that promise," he asked, nodding at him. "And I hope you haven't given up on baseball," he added as an afterthought.

Bella couldn't stop from smiling at that. Thirst and all.

* * *

The less they had to tell Charlie was probably for the better. It did not seem as though Charlie was really wanting many details anyway, so that was in their favor if nothing else. The police chief only appeared to want to know the bare minimum about this entire situation and leave the rest to them. He hopefully trusted that they would tell him anything he absolutely needed to know, after sharing this truth with him. Everything else he could remain blissfully unaware of.

Jasper nodded and shook Charlie's hand. Both men had a strong grip (though Jasper admittedly was not using his full strength for fear of breaking all of Charlie's fingers), and Jasper did not sense any sort of flinch from the police chief from either the cold of his skin or the fact that he was shaking hands with a vampire. He felt Charlie's acceptance, which was truly what he wanted most.

"You'll have to come see my family play the next time we go out. And I'll see if I can get us tickets to the next Mariner's game, if you'd like."

Charlie was all for that and even smiled a bit. He was glad to know the truth, though he probably wouldn't think about it too much. He didn't know if he _could_. Bella was Bella, and Jasper was.. Jasper. That was how he'd view them and that was good enough for him.

Once they'd said goodbye (for now), he escorted Bella back to her truck and opened the door for her, then got in and started it up, pulling out onto the road.

"I'm very proud of you," he said, reaching out to take one of her hands, lightly squeezing her fingers. "You exuded so much control, and knew when your limits were being pushed and did not try to stretch them beyond what you were capable of. It's remarkable," he said, smiling as he watched the road.

* * *

Saying goodbye to Charlie was difficult, but it didn't compare to how hard it had been before she supposedly left for college. This time, she knew she would be seeing him again soon. That was for sure. And it was something that was even more assuredly going to happen now that she managed to meet with him and leave without any incident. She'd even managed to embrace him not once, but twice. He was still breathing when they left. He was safe and sound in the house and now, he knew the truth. There was no need to hide from her father any longer and for Bella, that meant a huge missing piece of her heart had been restored.

Her happiness couldn't be contained when they got back into the truck. Jasper would be able to feel that without question. His words only helped. She might have set goals for herself to make it through that visit without incident, but hearing his confidence in her and how proud of her he was for achieving them was something that only solidified that happiness. His opinion meant more to her than anything and to hear it being given so favorably made her want to be confident too.

When he took her hand, her fingers laced easily with his. She moved over on the truck bench seat to sit close enough for her side to be pressed against his. Then, she nuzzled her face into his shoulder and took a deep breath, something she hadn't been able to do since before they'd gotten into the house before seeing Charlie. That scent was the only one she wanted to fill her senses. To Bella, it was better than fresh air.

"Thank you," she said, kissing his shoulder. She wasn't specific as to one thing but that was because there was so much to thank him for – going with her, being so supportive, doing so well with her father, his faith in her.

"I'll be anxious to see what Charlie thinks of a Cullen family baseball game," she said. "Actually, I'm sort of anxious to see what one is like when I can actually _play_ instead of you know, cause havoc with a bunch of nomads," she said, grinning up at him. Her contacts were long gone and when she looked at him, it was with deep red-amber eyes.

"I think I can give you a run for your money, Whitlock," she teased, her good spirit in full effect after the way things had turned out that evening.

* * *

Jasper knew that parting from Charlie right now was difficult for Bella, but it was absolutely necessary. She didn't need to push too hard yet. She was still a very young vampire, and no matter how much control she'd already displayed, there was no sense in pushing beyond her limits at this stage in her development. It was.. a little difficult for Jasper to think about, if only because he was doubting himself so much. His knowledge of newborns all seemed like a farce to him. Maybe he really knew nothing at all. Such a thought left him feeling bitter, and all he wanted was to be proud of Bella right now so he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.

He smiled when she thanked him, but it wasn't necessary. He wasn't entirely sure what she was thanking him for, but anything he'd done for her had been because he wanted to. There was no need for it, but he graciously accepted her thanks. Really, he felt it was he who should be thanking _her_. It was Bella who had given up so much just to be with him. She'd even changed her species. It was more than Jasper felt he cold possibly deserve from her, but here they were. She was most definitely a vampire, and hey had to work together in order to make sure she received all the proper care he could give her to make the transition and development as easy on her as possible.

"It will be interesting, to say the least," he replied, smirking at the thought of Charlie actually at one of their baseball games.

When she brought up the idea of her playing too, he grinned. He'd gotten a taste of Bella the baseball player while she was still human and it'd been a great deal of fun. As a vampire, she'd probably be a lot better. With her heightened senses, she might even be able to hit the ball without his help.

"Oh I'm certain you'll be smashing them out of the field, love. It's supposed to thunderstorm this weekend. I bet we can get the family to play. Charlie, too."

And with that, they drove home with two hearts that while still, were full of promise and relief.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Things have been very busy once again in real life and we're sorry for the delay. We adopted a new puppy named Remus and he's quite a handful but he's super cute. Also between us, we've had family visiting and vacations in the past week. One of us also got a new job as a teacher! So we DO have legit excuses for being busy! It's all been happy stuff but again, we hate delaying posting. Next chapter will be up VERY soon. Promise. We both hope you all are enjoying the story and are having a wonderful start to spring! Cheers! xx

**Lyrics:** The Starting Line -Make Yourself At Home


	17. Chapter 17

_I must be spoiled and rotten_  
_ cause no one else will ever do_  
_ Don't you forget I get what I want_  
_ All I want is you ;;_

* * *

It was amazing how much of a difference Bella felt after telling Charlie the truth.

It was as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Bella hated lying and anyone who knew her also knew that it was not one of her strong suits by any means. She was very obvious when it was required to fib and keeping such a big secret from her family had been easily the most difficult part of the entire new transition to her lifestyle as a vampire. There was still the matter of Renee, but Bella wasn't nearly as concerned. For one thing, Renee would take the news better than Charlie would simply because of the type of person Renee was. Secondly, after Charlie was told, Bella begged him to at least call her mother and let her know that he'd seen and spoken with Bella and there was no need to worry about her whereabouts. He was vague aside from that, simply because A) he didn't want to go into any detail about his daughter's new lifestyle and B) he wanted to sit back and enjoy while Bella was the one to tell Renee herself. She could get the chance in a few weeks when Renee came to visit Forks. It would be too much of a risk to go to Jacksonville when Bella still wasn't out of her newborn phase. Plus, the constant cloud coverage had given them a little bit of leeway in Forks before Bella could drop the bomb on her mother.

Watching Charlie's reaction to what happened to Bella when she was in the sun was priceless. Even Jasper had to crack a smile at the way the police chief's jaw dropped. He'd stared at her for several seconds, but then looked away as if he wasn't supposed to be seeing what he was. He wasn't afraid at all, but he was in the mind frame that he wanted to still know as little as possible and thus, he wasn't going to question it or comment much aside from 'I see what you mean' and 'Well, you're real pretty Bells.'

Jasper had chosen to stay in the shadows for obvious reasons. Bella knew he would be uncomfortable with Charlie seeing his scars, especially for the first time and so she didn't push him, nor was she offended when he watched the two of them from a small distance. It was his decision if he wanted to tell Charlie about his past and why he would have so many scars that were visible if he ever were to expose himself in the sunlight around her father. Bella wouldn't make that choice for him and Charlie didn't ask.

They'd also taken Charlie to see their house. He'd gawked at it, but attempted to hide his awe of how lavish the place was. He knew that the Cullens were well off and though Bella never seemed unhappy in their small house in Forks, he was glad that she was able to experience the finer things now. That was one good thing he knew about Jasper – with him, Bella would never want for anything. He knew Jasper would take care of her and seeing the house was a way of proving that. It also gave him some piece of mind to see where she had been when she seemingly disappeared. His mind, at the time, had thought the worst, but this house went to show that she had been safe.

What the police chief had really been interested in though, was to see the family play baseball. Both Bella and Jasper didn't tell him much about why they needed to wait until there had been a storm or how exactly it all played out; they'd wanted him to see for himself. It was also the first time he would be faced with Esme and Carlisle, as well as the rest of the family, knowing the truth about them.

He acted no differently. Carlisle expressed how good it was to see him and the two men exchanged a nod that clarified that the truth was acknowledged. He beamed at Esme when she told him that he was a welcomed asset as their new umpire.

Charlie wasn't the only one who had been looking forward to baseball. Admittedly, Bella was too.

This was the first time she would be able to play. Of course, she didn't actually _work_ right when it came to anything with sports, but she hoped that maybe since she had a little bit more coordination now, that she would be able to keep up. Well, try to. She'd even looked the part in the shirt Jasper had given her when they went to the Mariner's game and her long hair pulled into a ponytail through the back of a baseball cap. Her father still seemed a little skeptical, eyeing her up as they got ready for the game.

"Sure you're playing, Bells? I mean… _baseball_…" he said, wincing a bit.

She fixed him with a look. "Well thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad."

* * *

Jasper was elated. They were going to be spending the day playing baseball with the family, and Charlie was going to be there too. It really meant a lot to Jasper. He knew how much Bella loved her father and how she had missed him. While she had not always spoken about him during their absence from the human world, Jasper could sometimes feel it coming from her. Bella and Charlie had not been exactly vocal about how close they were, but again, it was something Jasper had always been able to feel and so he knew that being reunited with him was very important to Bella. It was important to him, too.

Charlie was doing amazingly well with the fact that they were actually vampires. It wasn't exactly an easy pill to swallow but he'd been doing all right with it. Jasper attributed it to Charlie's calm demeanor and his whole approach of knowing as little as possible as was necessary. If he knew all the details then he'd likely become overwhelmed. That was a big reason as to why Jasper had stayed hidden in the shade when Bella showed Charlie what happened when she stepped into the sun. The police chief had mentioned concern about Bella going up in a pile of ash and smoke when exposed to sunlight and she'd showed him how that wasn't true, just vampire folklore. Jasper did not want to overwhelm Charlie with his story. It was a lot to take in and a heavy weight he did not want to burden Charlie with. Maybe one day in the future he'd share his history with Charlie, but today was supposed to be a happy day.

Jasper had all the faith in the world that Bella would be a good baseball player, despite her own worries and the skepticism displayed by Charlie. With everyone gathered around, it was decided that he, Carlisle, and Rosalie would be on a team, while Esme, Emmett, and Bella were on the other. Charlie would be the umpire, which was a role Bella temporarily played while human. The clouds overhead had gotten very dark, signifying that the storm approaching would soon be upon them. It was distant enough from the field, though, that no rain would hit them. Only the distant thunder would be heard.

"We've not yet seen what Belle can do on the field," Jasper said, coming over to place a light hand on her shoulder. "I'm looking forward to it." He smiled warmly at her, then grinned teasingly. "Of course, I don't think that will help her win... but we'll see."

* * *

Bella didn't take too much offense to it when she was looked upon as the obvious weak link. Charlie had been right to be skeptical and it was clear that everyone was a little wary of her skills on the baseball field. After all, gym class had never been her strong suit. Even Jasper had to poke a little fun of her when he quipped that her team wasn't likely to win.

Emmett was far less reserved about it. While he was easily the best athlete out of all of them (which is why he was on Bella's team to even things out a little), he was concerned with his teammate. While he loved his soon to be sister, when it came to sports, he was serious. That was why he strategized that she be the catcher. He figured that Esme would be best to pitch and he would be better suited in the outfield. It would be unlikely that Bella would even have the chance to practice her catching much considering the ball would almost always be hit by whichever batter was up.

She didn't mind. While she was glad to be a part of the team, she was still nervous and didn't care at all if she was situated in a position where she wouldn't see as much action as the others. Giving Jasper a 'look', she took one of the bats and pushed it into his chest to shut him up.

"You're up," she said, shaking her head as she took her spot behind the makeshift home base.

As she did, she couldn't help but to let her eyes roam over the current batter. It was only for a moment and thankfully her back was to Charlie so he couldn't see the way she was practically undressing her fiancé with her eyes in that baseball uniform. There was no harm in having a peek when he was doing his practice swings, after all.

Well, apparently there was to Emmett, who felt the need to make a comment from the outfield. One that would have actually killed Bella had she not already been dead.

"Eye on _the_ ball, Bella. Not on _his_."

She could feel the heat from Charlie blushing and it forced her to immediately close her throat. Esme turned around, mid-pitch to scold her son, who smiled and shrugged innocently. Rosalie scoffed in annoyance and voiced her opinion to get the game going and Carlisle, for the sake of both Charlie and Bella, agreed.

Crouching into position (at least, how she thought looked correctly), she held her mitt-adorned hand up for the ball, watching it as it left Esme's hand. It was amazing how clearly she could see it. Every lace and speck of mud on the ball was like crystal as it came closer and closer. But just when she winced and closed her eyes, expecting it to - rather, praying it would - land in her glove, there was a loud crack that echoed off the mountains and rivaled the loudest rumble of thunder the storm had provided yet. When she opened her eyes, Emmett had already taken off along with Esme toward the direction Jasper smacked the ball and he was gone in a flash of blonde.

Getting to her feet, she turned to smile at Charlie who was gaping in awe. Even at the baseball game with the Mariners and he'd seen firsthand how good Jasper was, it was clear that he'd been holding back at the time.

"Sweet Jesus," he breathed as he watched the Cullens race after the ball.

* * *

Jasper was curious to see how Bella would put her heightened senses to use when it came to playing baseball. He did not expect her to put her sight to use on something else but the ball, but found out that she had by way of Emmett announcing it to the family. If Jasper could have blushed, he would have. He also wanted to go out into the outfield and clobber Emmett. It wasn't just because he would have wanted to defend Bella in the situation, but also because Emmett had said that in front of Charlie! Of course, he was also near-blushing because he just found out that Bella had been practically undressing him with her eyes. That made it a little difficult to get a hit.

He didn't have to wonder about that too long, though. He'd grinned when Bella handed him the bat and basically told him to get his ass up to bat. Jasper suppressed a laugh by turning his attention to the bat. He twirled it around a few times to help him loosen up, as he did every time he played baseball. It always helped him to get his mind off other things, and did not fail him that day. Giving the bat one more twirl, he then stepped up to plate and waited for the pitch.

Esme threw the ball fast and straight on, and Jasper hit it hard to coincide with the thunder overhead. He barely had a moment to hear Charlie's murmur to Jesus before he took off running the plates. Meanwhile, Emmett ran to chase after Jasper's ball. The blonde vampire had hit it directly at Emmett's head after the comments he made, but his big bear of a brother recovered quickly and took off running, Esme close behind. Meanwhile, Jasper was rounding the bases at the speed of light. Once Emmett reached the ball, he threw it as hard as he could back over the makeshift baseball diamond, yelling for Bella to catch it.

Jasper didn't want to knock over his soon-to-be wife, but he hoped to make it back to the base before the ball was caught so that he wouldn't have to. He rounded third and ran towards the home plate, just as the ball was coming rapidly towards Bella. He ran faster, but did not see whether or not Bella caught it because he was too busy sliding into home. It would be all up to Charlie's call.

* * *

When she was still human, everything had happened so quickly when she'd witnessed the Cullens play baseball, that she couldn't actually see what was going on. She, like Charlie was now, just watched in amazement and tried to comprehend the fact that this was a very different approach to baseball as everyone in the human race knew it. It was likely that they would be – rather, just Charlie now – the only ones to witness it at all. She was glad that he was getting the opportunity to see it and hoped that it would help to ease the weight of the truth they'd all dropped on him by revealing what they were. If anything could do that, it would be baseball. And it seemed to be doing the trick.

Even with everything else happening so quickly, she could hear the racing beat of his heart as he anticipated what was going to going to happen once Emmett called out to Bella to catch the ball. If her own heart still moved inside of her chest, it would be racing even faster. She glanced at Jasper rounding third base before focusing on Emmett's throw once more. She knew she had to stand on the plate in order for it to count if she caught it, but with the speed at which Jasper was coming at her, she was more than tempted to run away and just forget about the ball to avoid a full on collision. But the ball was coming right for her and something inside of herself held a sense of confidence.

She could _see_ it. She could _see_ the ball going into her glove and she sucked in a breath when she felt the weight of it pressing into the leather. Her other hand, as if on its own accord, came to close over it to keep it in place.

Before she could turn to see where Jasper was, he was already sliding into home. He hadn't slid into her directly, but when she turned around, her legs collided with his body and caused her to lose her balance. Toppling over the side of him, her stomach collided with his hip and nearly knocked the wind out of her. She made an 'umph' sound and winced, but she didn't have much time to react before everyone had gathered around them, waiting for Charlie's call. Even though Bella was his daughter and he wanted to said she excelled at baseball now, he still was a police chief. He had a duty to be fair.

Luckily for him, fair meant that Bella had gotten the out. Her foot had been on the base when she caught the ball and even though she fell, she'd held onto the ball and kept the play accurate.

"Out!" he called beaming with absolute pride.

But no one seemed more thrilled than Emmett who whooped and laughed as he plucked Bella off of Jasper and spun her around. "Who knew she had the gift!" he said as Bella pried herself out of his grasp, embarrassed by the attention even though there was some self-satisfaction at having caught the ball.

"It was one catch!" Rosalie said indignantly with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest and turning away from the smiles Bella was receiving from her teammates.

* * *

Playing baseball with his family was something that really meant a lot to Jasper. He really loved it, and not just because he thought it was a great game. This was how he'd really come to bond with the Cullens. He'd been very much the outsider when he first came to join their coven. Rarely ever would he be a part of conversations, or sit with them when they lounged in their large home. He simply had not known how to be a part of a family. When they all went to play baseball, though, Jasper found that he really enjoyed it. It was a way for him to loosen up and not be so tense and on edge all the time. He could be a brother, a son. The family baseball games had always meant a great deal to him, and he was very happy to share it with both Bella and her father.

It didn't surprise him too much that Bella managed to catch the ball. While she may not have been the most coordinated human or even vampire, her senses surely were heightened enough to allow her to catch a ball. Perhaps Jasper was biased because he loved her, but he had faith in her despite being on the opposing team. Jasper saw when she caught it, and had slid into home anyway. When she fell, he'd wanted to reach out and catch her but knew it would interfere with the game. As much as he wanted to be a cushion for her, he also didn't feel like getting into a fight with Emmett about fair game play. A little fall to the ground wouldn't hurt her, he knew, though the idea of letting her drop like that hadn't set well with him.

His feelings on the matter were short lived. Bella had managed to hold onto the ball and that meant that Jasper's hit was out. Ordinarily he might've been a bit bummed about that, but he was ecstatic. Jasper knew how nervous Bella was about playing; he'd been able to feel it. Now that she'd managed to catch the ball, surely she'd be more confident about it. Jasper beamed and got to his feet. Rosalie was pissed off but he didn't really care. Carlisle didn't seem mad about it either. Before Jasper could congratulate her, Emmett had plucked her up and spun her. It drew a low chuckle from the blonde vampire. As Bella scooted away from the attention, he slid his arm around her shoulders and grinned at her.

"Nice catch, darlin'," he drawled, squeezing her shoulder.

* * *

Jasper wouldn't be able to miss the emotions that were running through her after she successfully made a play. Even if it was just the two of them playing around and she caught the ball, she still would have held the same confidence and satisfaction at her small success. But the fact that this was the first time that she was playing with the family really made it all the more significant. Before, she had just been able to watch. But now, not only could she play, but she could actually make a contribution to the team.

That was a good feeling, especially since she hated feeling like before, she was just a visitor. Charlie being there to witness her actually playing as well made her even happier. He'd seen her 'hit' at the Mariner's game when she didn't have a choice but to take a turn, but that had really been all Jasper's doing. All she did was stand in position and let him swing for her. But this time, it was only Bella who managed to do something correctly. In _sports_. That was surprising, even for her.

While it might have usually been embarrassing for her to trip over in the way she did, to her, it made her feel… well, like _her_. There were still times when she looked at herself in the mirror and struggled to find herself in her new body when she was capable of doing things she'd never have been able to manage as a human and when her beauty was still something that awed her. But she was still a klutz in some ways, it seemed. That was a characteristic that had been one of her strongest as a human and while she hated it before, it was comforting now, however silly that may have seemed.

"You're not supposed to compliment the competition," she said with a grin as Jasper slipped his arm around her shoulders. "Shows weakness."

In truth, impressing Jasper had been more important to her than what anyone else though, Charlie included. While she knew that he would love her no matter how good or bad she was at baseball, it was still something that he loved and so she wanted to show him that she could participate too and give him a sense of pride in her in doing so. He was her mate – she always wanted to be able to impress him. That was why she turned her face into his shoulder and gave him a nuzzle.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

Emmett rolled his eyes, but was still smiling. "Come on. We still got a game to play."

* * *

Jasper was glad to have seen Bella's familiar humanistic tendencies still within her as well. He knew she was still be _Bella_, but obviously there were many differences that took place during the transition from human to vampire. He also knew that it was a major concern for Bella, so the fact that she was still displaying signs of her old self would be good for her. He'd thought that it would be much longer before Bella gained enough control over herself to show signs of who she was, and who she would be as a vampire, but his mentality regarding newborn vampires had completely changed. It all had to do with the way one was brought up and raised. He'd lost himself due to his upbringing, but it would not be the same for Bella. She had been nurtured with care and love, and treated as she had been as a human. Therefore it was easier for her to make the transition. Jasper had not taken that very well (the fact that nurture won versus nature, not Bella's progress), but he was very happy for Bella's sake.

It was so much better having Charlie in the know about their situation. He could be in their lives now, and he knew that was very important to Bella. It was important to him too; he really liked Charlie and wanted to mend their relationship again. He was hoping that they had, considering he now understood why the two of them had to stay away for a while, but he had a feeling there would always be some distance there just because Jasper had taken Bella, and now she'd become an entirely different species in order to be with him forever. It was something that he hoped Charlie would be able to get past in order to keep his relationship with Bella strong, and mend what he had with Jasper. Only time would tell, but given Charlie was there with them that day he thought his odds were pretty good.

"Credit where credit is due, my dear," he said, and kissed the side of her head when she nuzzled his shoulder.

It made him happy to be able to feel the sense of pride and confidence she now had coming from inside. Jasper shot Emmett a bit of a look when he told them to hurry up, but he still took his time.

"You better get back to catching," he said, lifting her hands and kissing her knuckles. "Rosalie is up next. Good luck with that." He squeezed her shoulder again, then let go and moved to stand near off to the side with Charlie. "Thank you for coming out today, Chief Swan," he said, smiling a bit. "I hope you're having a good time."

* * *

Bella could always feel when Jasper was down on himself for the way that was she handling her transition into becoming a vampire. There was no mistaking the fact that he was happy for her and that he was glad to help her in any way that he could, but she knew when her progress upset him for the fact that it reminded him of his past and his deeply rooted insecurities. It wasn't just due to his gift that she was able to feel though self-loathing feelings; it was also because she knew him so well. It was always genuine when he expressed his happiness and pride when she grew as a newborn and became better adjusted to her new life, but at the same time, she knew what kind of effect it had on him. Bella couldn't help but to feel guilty about that. That was why it meant even more to her that she still had some of her human qualities. It wasn't just a reassurance to her, but it was one for Jasper as well. She wished for him to remember who he fell in love with – a human with no extraordinary talent whatsoever.

Charlie nodded when Jasper asked him if he was having a good time. It was better than what the chief of police could have asked for. While he still didn't know the details of her new species, nor did he want to, he was reassured just watching his daughter interact with the Cullens. He knew that, no matter what they were, she would be looked after and well cared for with them. He wouldn't be around forever.

While it was an assurance to know that his daughter would around long after he was, it was more of an assurance to witness those who she would be with. While there had been some rifts between he and Jasper at the fact that Bella had wound up missing more than once on account of the boy, now that he knew the truth, it made more sense to him while Bella couldn't be more vocal. There was no tension between himself and Jasper any longer, save for the natural weariness at giving his only daughter away to the man she loved.

The game progressed as the storm did the same in the distance. Charlie remained in awe the entire time and Bella understood how he felt; she'd been in his shoes before and maintained the same feeling (although that first friendly baseball game had a very different ending). Rosalie batting was borderline traumatic for Bella. Twice, she'd swung the bat 'late' and nearly took off Bella's head. It was clear that she could have hit the ball if she wanted to because on the third pitch, she'd gotten a perfect hit that landed her on second base easily. Carlisle hit a pop fly that Emmett snatched up to get a second out and when Jasper was up, there was no repeat of the play Bella made earlier. Emmett had only just relayed the ball to Esme by the time Jasper made it to home plate, bringing Rosalie in and earning two runs for their team. While Emmett was scowling, Bella couldn't help but to feel a surge of pride for her mate, opposite team or not and thus, she could relate to what Jasper has said earlier – credit where credit was due.

Esme fielded Rosalie's next hit (while Bella had taken an extra few steps back to catch) and made the last out, signaling the teams to switch up. Bella immediately volunteered to bat last, not wanting to be so quick to potentially make a fool of herself. Catching a ball was one thing. Hitting it? Completely different.

"Emmett, can't you punch hit for me?" she asked timidly.

Charlie, politely though unable to keep from snorting with laughter, corrected her. "That's _'pinch'_ hit, Bells."

* * *

Something Jasper always tried to be mindful of was Bella's guilt over her progress. He never wanted her to think even for a moment that he was resentful for her progress. It made him very happy to know that she had maintained so much of herself. He knew it was a fear of hers to lose her identity through her transformation and the possibly being out of control of herself for a year was something she was afraid of. They'd all been prepared to take care of her and help her as much as possible, but it seemed she needed very little help at all. Being in the loving environment, surrounded by those who cared for her had helped ease the transition considerably. It forced Jasper to realize some very bittersweet resolutions about himself, but that had nothing to do with his feelings for Bella's progression. He knew she felt guilt whenever he got down on himself, and tried very hard not to allow those feelings to creep up on him. At the same time, he did not want to hide his feelings from her, so it was a bit of a complicated matter.

This outing was not for dwelling over that, though. This was a time for them to get out and have fun with each other, to be a family and spend time together. They did not have to worry about anything right now. Charlie was getting to see the happy environment Bella had been in and seeing that despite the whole 'vampire' aspect of things, the Cullens were actually a fairly normal family. Jasper knew how important that was and he was very glad to show that to the police chief. He'd truly meant what he said about always making sure Bella was taken care of (without getting in the way of doing the things she wanted to do in life) and he knew that seeing first hand how that was happening would set Charlie's mind at ease.

With his expert hearing, Jasper overheard Bella's minor mixup with words and couldn't help but grin a little. Despite the minor mistake, he knew that was just a sign that Bella was still Bella. It was endearing, and had he not been in the outfield he would've probably kissed her cheek. Rosalie was pitching, Carlisle the catcher, while Jasper stayed in the outfield because he was the fastest of the three.

It was a bit of a show down, with Rosalie pitching to Bella when his wife-to-be was up to the plate, not having been able to get her way out of it. Jasper worried his twin sister would play unfairly, and watched with a bit of intensity. If Rosalie messed things up for them after everything had been going so well, the two would be having some serious words. This outing meant a lot to everyone, and to see it ruined because of some underhanded move played by Rosalie would have Jasper very upset.

He watched as Rosalie reared back, then thrust the ball as fast as she could. The pitch was far too outside, Jasper noticed, and Carlisle barely was able to reach out and catch it.

"Rose, what was that?" The doctor called out, keeping his tone playful, but also a bit of a warning to his daughter to keep it fair. Jasper set his jaw and watched again, then held his breath as she pitched again.

This one was a bit high, but still right down the middle...

* * *

Bella would really never understand why Rosalie hated her so much. She suspected that most of it came from the fact that she put her family in danger by knowing their secret. Even now, when she was one of their kind, she still put them at risk but involving her own family. Just Charlie knowing about their secret was not only dangerous for the Cullen family, but for Charlie as well.

Then there was the whole matter of the wolves. And the newborn army. And, of course, the Volturi, the latter of which was still a major lingering threat.

So really, Bella _could_ understand why she was so disliked on paper. But what hurt her the most was that Rosalie still couldn't put aside her dislike of the brunette for the sake of her brother. The steps she had taken in the past to deliberately try and break the two of them apart still dug at Bella's heart. The wedding dress incident had been the worst and when she thought about it, Bella swore she could still feel her heart break to remember the sight she saw that day. That had been all on account of his twin. Even though they'd come a long way since then, it seemed that Rosalie would never fully accept her brother's choice.

As much as she tried not to dwell on it, that hurt Bella to know.

She could practically see the dislike dripping off of Rosalie as she pitched to her. Bella was already nervous enough to be batting to begin with. The last thing she needed was for her soon to be sister-in-law to be making matters worse. It seemed she was intent on doing so judging by the first pitch she threw. Considering every pitch she'd thrown to Esme and Emmett had been perfect, Bella was smart enough to know that she wasn't going to make this easy for her to say the least bit. Carlisle's words seemed to have had some weight and though Rose clearly wasn't happy about it, she threw a good pitch. That didn't mean Bella swung at it though. She was frozen stiff with the bat in her hands in position, even after Charlie called a strike. The next pitch occurred in the same way – a good ball, but one that Bella didn't attempt.

After Charlie called the strike, he tried to encourage her. "It's okay to swing, Bells," he said.

Bella glanced back and nodded before getting back into position. She was still a little stiff, but her concentration was resolute. She could at least _try_ to swing. If she struck out, nobody would really be surprised, but at least she could attempt instead of just watching the ball go by. Rosalie set for the pitch and threw the same one she'd been using – down the middle, but a little high. This time though, Bella kept her eye on the ball until she thought it was close enough. Then, she swung the bat with all of her might.

The sound when the connection was made actually shook her and she didn't even fully comprehend that she'd hit the ball at first. Instead, she stared at it as it soared across the field. It was amazing. Had she done that? Had she actually managed to hit the ball?

It was by no means as powerful of a hit as any of the ones Jasper or Emmett had hit, but she _hit_ the ball. She actually did it by herself, without anyone helping her swing. She, probably along with every single person on the field, Charlie included, was in awe. All except Emmett who shouted from somewhere behind her.

"Bella, RUN!"

She nodded, dropped the bat, and started for the bases, begging her body not to trip.

* * *

If there was one thing that Jasper would always have for Bella besides love, it was faith in her. Even if the odds really were against her actually hitting the ball, he would believe that she could do it. Even if she didn't hit it, that didn't mean she _couldn't_. Especially with the way Rosalie was pitching to her. It also didn't matter to him if she was the best player in the world or the worst. As long as she was having a good time, that was what mattered to him.

Jasper could feel Bella's nerves rising again, and it showed when she did not swing after a fairly good pitch. He was going to have some choice words with Rosalie after this, even if she did throw a little more fairly. The fact still remained that she was holding ill feelings toward Bella. If she had an issue with either of them, then she needed to be up front about it and stop with the passive aggressive attitude. Jasper was fed up with Rosalie's behavior and today was the final straw.

Fortunately, Bella managed to step out of her nerves and swung the bat. Right into the ball. It launched, maybe not with the same speed that he or Emmett could it it, but it was a powerful swing. Enough to hit it out of the field. Jasper ran after it and as he chased the ball, he could see it starting to descend, it was getting smaller. That would have made sense if it was getting further away, but Jasper was getting closer to it. When he reached it, he understood why.

Bella had hit it so hard that the threads woven into it had all split. She'd crushed the ball and it was unraveling as it fell. He picked it up, and it was a flattened mess, barely recognizable as having once been a ball.

Jasper ran back onto the field, laughing. More than enough time passed for Bella to round the bases.

"I think we're going to have to call the game on account of ball destruction," he said, grinning as he reached the home plate and held out his palm. "That might be a first. I know we've broken some bats, but wow, Belle. That's impressive."

* * *

One thing Bella felt a little more secure in was her speed. Once she started running, she knew she was able to get to her destination extremely quickly. And her body didn't disappoint her. She'd rounded the bases as quickly as she could and all the while, she remained upright. By the time she'd rounded third base, she'd expected Jasper to have already thrown the ball in and for Carlisle to be waiting to tag her out. But even after she ran into the last base, Jasper wasn't there. Neither was the ball. Confused, she looked out beyond the field until she spotted him returning, still holding the ball in his hand.

Rather, what was left of the ball.

When she saw what happened, Bella gasped. That could not have been possible. Surely, Jasper just couldn't find the ball she hit and found another that had been crushed. Or else, he'd caught it and his strength in doing so caused the ball to bust at the seams. But from his words, it was clear that she was the one who'd done that. Her eyes widened in horror, her first reaction being embarrassment, especially after Jasper had remarked that the game would need to be called quits.

"I'm sorry," she said, covering her mouth with her hand. "I didn't mean to. I didn't- I didn't even think I would _hit_ it. I just- I just… swung," she said, looking around apologetically to the circle of Cullens surrounding her.

They all, with the exception of Rosalie (who looked even more pissed off now) didn't look angry at all.

"Are you _kidding_?" Emmett exclaimed, taking the remnants of the ball from Jasper. "I'm _framing_ this baby. You're on our team from here on out, Bella," he said, tipping the brim of her hat down to cover her eyes playfully.

Esme then tipped it back up properly and chuckled at her son's antics. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Bella. That was a great hit."

Rosalie laughed too, but bitterly, throwing her glove on the ground. "Yeah," she scoffed. "Some great hit that cost us the game. Guess _you_ didn't bring an extra ball, did you Bella?" she demanded, glaring daggers at the brunette.

Before Bella could speak, Carlisle had come behind Rosalie to rest his hands firmly on her shoulders. "That's enough, Rose. The storm is nearly finished anyway. We wouldn't have been able to carry on any longer than we already have. Bella, it was great having you get to play with us. We're all," he said, pausing to squeeze his bitter daughter's shoulders a squeeze, "very much looking forward to many more games. And we hope, Chief Swan, that you'll join us for a few."

Charlie nodded at man, but he was far too enraptured with what his daughter had done and had been staring at her in utter astonishment and pride. He continued to stare at her like that, recalling her hit and her good play the entire time that her and Jasper were taking him back to the house. He hugged her so tightly when they were saying goodbye, that Bella's ribs would have broken if she were still human without a shadow of a doubt.

"Dad, you're freaking me out," she said as she gently pried him off of her. The main reason because her throat was burning from the intense close contact.

* * *

Even though Jasper assured her that there was nothing to worry about as far as the game or the ball was concerned, Bella couldn't help but to feel guilty. After they'd hunted and went back home for a few hours until it was dark out, she begged him to take a drive with her so she could go buy a new ball. They had to wait until it was nighttime and would need to drive for awhile to be ensured that no one they knew would recognize them anywhere near Forks, but it wasn't as if they had the time. She didn't listen if he told her it was unnecessary to purchase a replacement. To her, it was very necessary. Even if it was just a baseball, she felt responsible. "I don't actually know where we could get a baseball _now_, but I don't know anything about sports stuff. Is there like a twenty-four hour emergency sporting goods supply store?" she asked, leaning back in the seat to look over at him.

Jasper could feel Charlie's excitement and pride for his daughter the entire car ride back to his house. It made Jasper even happier about the whole experience. Any little thing he could do to help Bella and her father maintain their close relationship, he was happy to contribute. When they reached the house, Jasper formally asked Charlie to play umpire for the rest of their baseball games, to which the police chief happily agreed (as excitedly as someone like Charlie could get).

He wanted to speak to Rosalie right away, but figured it was best for him to cool down from the situation first. If he spoke to her that night, he'd just be reacting from his anger rather than speaking rationally. So instead he remained with Bella and Charlie, and would address the situation another time. Surely Carlisle was lecturing her enough as it was.

What killed him was that while Rosalie was being a cold hearted bitch - and that wasn't a term Jasper _ever_ used to address a lady - Bella was stressing over demolishing the ball. It just made him even angrier at his sister, and more in love with Bella. He tried to convince her that they really didn't need to replace the ball, but there was no talking Bella out of it. Once they'd hunted and were ready to go, they drove off in search of a ball. They couldn't shop in Forks. Even during the night, there was the off chance that someone might recognize them. Jasper instead chose to drive out to Aberdeen, where he knew he could find, as Bella put it, a twenty-four hour emergency sporting goods store.

Or as most people referred to it, Walmart.

He pulled into a parking space and shut off the ignition. "We should be able to find a ball here. No one will recognize us."

Little did he know the horrors that awaited them upon entering the establishment. Jasper got out of the car and moved around to her side, opening the door to help her out.

* * *

One of the things that Bella loved most about Jasper was that he always supported her no matter what. While someone else might have outright refused to run out in the middle of the night in order to retrieve a simple baseball, he didn't press the issue that it wasn't necessary and instead, just went along with it. Nevermind the fact that they had to drive over an hour for them to even find a place that was open that actually sold sporting goods past nine at night in the springtime. Or the fact that this had been one of Bella's first official outings where she would be surrounded by humans ever since undergoing her transformation. It would be good for her if not still dangerous. The only reason she was even able to go through with it was because they'd hunted shortly before and her thirst was satiated. She knew though, that if she was struggling, Jasper would help to calm her or at the very worst, they could leave immediately. Hopefully, there would not be a need to take drastic measures.

But she didn't know quite what they were walking into, either. For one thing, it was after two in the morning and the parking lot was still packed with cars. How could there be so many other people so intent on shopping in the middle of the night?

Somehow she doubted any of them were there for the same reason that the two of them were. Bella had gone to Walmart plenty of times; it was one of Renee's favorite places to 'people watch'. Usually that meant that Bella was frantically trying to get everything they needed and get out as soon as possible. Even as a human, she didn't like to be in crowded places, especially when some of the people in that crowd were a bit… off. It was amazing while she and Jasper were actually of a different species, they were much more normalized than several humans they would encounter.

That became evident when, before they were even out of the parking lot, there was a couple fighting. They were screaming at one another (rather, the female was screaming and frantically waving her finger in the man's face) in partial English and partial what Bella assumed to be Spanish. The dispute, from what she could gather was over a large box that was at the feet containing a plastic tricycle for a child no older than four. Even if she didn't know Spanish that well, she knew enough to figure that the words being thrown about weren't generally used in civilized conversation. She knew for certain that the swear words thrown about in English weren't. As the two of them passed by the couple, just as the woman started kicking the box with her snakeskin, pointy-toed boot, Bella took Jasper's hand and walked a bit quicker.

"Maybe this was a bad idea…" she said with a whisper that only Jasper could hear once they were inside and out of hearing range for the belligerent pointy-toed scary woman.

Even if Bella was the most dangerous predator there was, she didn't really like the idea of those boots coming at her shins and thus, made sure to keep her voice down. She blinked several times, her eyes (covered by dark brown contacts) needing to adjust to the bright lighting. The store seemed endless and of course, the place they needed to find was in the furthest possible corner. Truth be told, she was actually a little intimidated.

* * *

Jasper had never been to Walmart before. It wasn't because he was abundantly rich and didn't need to shop for a bargain (quite the contrary; Jasper was actually probably the most careful with his money). He just generally tried to avoid people and from what he understood, Walmart was typically pretty crowded. It wasn't terrible, though. No worse than being in school, which was still hard for him but tolerable.

Shopping in stores wasn't something he did often, either. Again, it was mostly to avoid people, and it was just more convenient to shop online and have things delivered to the house. That couldn't be done in this instance, though. They needed a ball right away, to put Bella's mind at ease. That was what brought them there, and Jasper was determined to find one. It didn't matter to him what hour it was or how long it too. If nothing else, they definitely had _time._

What fascinated him was the people they passed by. Jasper was a bit concerned; this was Bella's first real outing socializing with humans on a large scale. He knew he could calm her should she start to get a little uncomfortable, but he hoped he wouldn't have to do that. Thus far, she seemed all right. He was a little tense too, always having difficulty being surrounded by beating hearts. He probably glared at the person who greeted them at the door, but he didn't really understand the point of greeters anyway. Before that, he'd tried his best to ignore the bickering couple outside arguing. Jasper knew Spanish well enough due to his past with Maria, so he understood most of what they were saying. He didn't blame Bella for questioning if maybe this was the wrong place for them to be.

"Well, we're here now," he said, smirking at her a little. "May as well get what we came for."

He looked up and started scanning the signs hanging from the ceiling, looking for something to the effect of 'sporting goods' so they'd be heading in the right direction. He found it, and started walking that way. They'd have to cross through several other sections of the store, going down other aisles. One of which contained a woman crouching down near the floor. Her clothing was probably about three sizes too small, and she had neon pink string coming out of her pants that seemed to go all the way around her waist. Surely that wasn't.. her underwear? He looked at Bella with raised eyebrows.

"What is that?" he whispered, mortified.

* * *

Jasper did have a point. They were already there and so they might as well go through with getting the baseball. Every time she thought of the smashed mess of string and leather, she was more resolved to get a replacement, her guilt being a strong reminder of the reason they went to begin with. Besides, they'd driven all this way. Surely they wouldn't be put off completely just because there was a couple having a heated argument in the parking lot.

However, the thong was a completely different story. Their eyes went to the same place when they turned the corner and really, it was impossible to miss what was so brazenly on display. Bella immediately looked away, both horrified and amused at the same time.

The amusement mainly came as a result of Jasper's reaction. While some girls might fear their significant other ogling the sight of another woman's underwear and vast amount of exposed skin, Bella didn't seem to have to worry about that. His words nearly caused her to erupt in laughter and she had to use every ounce of composure she had in order to prevent that from happening. The main reason was because Jasper was actually serious in the fact that he probably didn't know what that piece of pink string was. He was from a completely different time and even through the decades, she was fairly sure he probably didn't have much exposure to that particular type of underwear. Unless he experienced it in his previous relationships and thankfully for her peace of mind, that didn't seem to be the case. Did Alice ever...? she wondered to herself, but the thought turned her stomach and she forced it out of mind.

Bella, for one, never had and never would wear such a thing. There was nothing about an uncomfortable piece of floss basically sticking in places where it should never, ever be.

She led him around another corner so she could quietly explain, leaning in closer to him. It was definitely one time in which being able to speak quickly and softly so that only he could understand would have its advantages. "That is what is apparently attractive to a lot of people. That's called a thong," she said. "It's underwear designed so that it doesn't show any lines through your clothes."

She would have started to blush if it were possible under the circumstances that she was currently explaining what a thong was to her fiancé. "Generally, I don't think they're supposed to fit… like that," she said, wincing slightly at the recollection of the image. "And they're usually supposed to be… you know… _covered_. I'm pretty sure they didn't have anything quite like that in Civil War times," she added with a grin.

* * *

It was as if they'd stepped into an entirely different realm. Jasper wasn't the type to judge people before he knew them, but it truly felt as if the people who shopped at this place were of their own species. He tried very hard to look away from the neon pink 'thong,' as Bella had called it, but it wasn't easy. It was like a car wreck, or when you had to check to make sure you actually squished a bug. You don't _want_ to look, but you _have_ to.

It was hard for him to imagine women wearing such a garment. He probably ought to have known what a thong was, having been around for such a long time, but he did not keep up with things like that. He'd seen the way women's undergarments evolved from things like petticoats and corsets to bras and such, and he probably _had_ seen a thong before, just.. not quite like that. This one was literally just a couple of strings held together. He couldn't imagine it was comfortable. It wasn't attractive, either. Not to him, anyway. Jasper was into more classy, feminine garments.

"No, they didn't," he said, grinning back at her and holding her hand. He hurried past the thong lady into another aisle. "...Women didn't wear their curlers in their hair out in public either," he murmured quietly, raising an eyebrow again. Had that woman gone out purposely with her hair like that, or had she just forgotten? They really needed to find the sporting goods department quick. He felt like they'd stepped into another dimension of sorts.

"Don't these people _sleep_?"

* * *

Walmart _was_ another dimension of sorts. They should have known from the second they pulled into the parking lot in the middle of the night and it was packed full as if it were the middle of the day. Bella didn't want to think about what this place would look like on a busy Saturday afternoon. She know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they wouldn't have been able to go, baseball or not. Her thirst would not have been able to stay sustained. Though at the same time, the type of people they were encountering were a big distraction to her thirst. That was quite an accomplishment.

She grinned at him when he pointed out the woman who looked like she just left the beauty salon before she was finished. It didn't matter if it was Civil War times or present day – that wasn't something that was considered to be the norm. She couldn't help but to laugh quietly when he asked if these people slept. Admittedly, she had been wondering the same thing considering many of them were shopping as if it were perfectly normal for them. In their case, they had a specific reason for needing to find a store open all night and that had been their goal. But these people had carts and baskets that were full and Bella couldn't help but to wonder what they actually did during the day that prevented them from shopping until two in the morning.

"Maybe they're all vampires too," she whispered with a shrug.

The funny part was, was that the two of them were getting more strange looks than anyone else – thong girl and curler head included. It was surely because of their appearance, though it was more normal than three quarters of the current shoppers. That made Bella a little uncomfortable. She wasn't used to being stared at in such a way. Jasper, yes. But not her too. When people used to look at her with strange looks, it was because they couldn't believe how someone so ordinary could be holding hands with someone so gorgeous. Maybe that was the reason she was getting looked at now too. She honestly couldn't be sure.

One thing she was sure of, however, was that she did _not_ like a pair of girls ogling their eyes at Jasper and looking him up and down right in front of her.

While she wouldn't have minded so much when she were human, she felt a very strong surge of protectiveness. He was her mate. She didn't like the way those girls were blatantly staring at him and practically drooling at the mouth. Her hand tightened on Jasper's and she didn't bother to hide the look she gave the two females. It must have been a little more intimidating that she realized because in the next moment, both of them hurried off, glancing back at Bella as if she were about to lash out at them.

That confused her slightly. She knew that she was angry, but did it really show so clearly on her features? She wanted to rip them limb by limb and drink until there was nothing left from them. All because they'd been looking at her mate. That was something she'd never experienced before.

* * *

Jasper had learned to ignore the stares he received long ago. He understood that vampires had an allure that naturally drew humans to stare at them, and that was all he saw it as when it came to himself. He knew that if humans could see him for the way he truly looked, he would be the type of man that others crossed the street to avoid coming into contact with. It was a rare individual who could look past the scars that adorned his upper half. Knowing how he looked perhaps was what allowed him to be able to dismiss the looks he received, for he knew the truth.

That being said, he was not so quick to dismiss it when others stared at Bella. He was not jealous by nature, and jealousy wasn't even really what he felt when he caught others looking at her. It was the idea that she was being objectified by her looks that bothered him. He had not experienced it much since her transition (other than the looks she received from family members, but that was a different matter entirely that did not bother him), but even when she was still human Jasper had regarded her as his mate, and had to deal with males like Jacob Black and that idiot Mike Newton who drooled over her.

He felt a surge of anger beside him and wondered briefly what it was that had gotten Bella so upset. Immediately he felt her grip tighten on his hand and he feared that her thirst had gotten unbearable for her, that he'd pushed her too hard to be surrounded by humans like she was. Her emotions didn't feel like blood lust; Jasper understood that emotion quite well. It was anger, for certain. At what..?

He looked around, and that was when he saw two girls looking in their direction with deer-in-headlights stares as they'd been caught looking at him. They quickly ran off just as Jasper heard a low growl beside him and the grip on his hand tighten to the point that he actually felt pain. No doubt if he'd been human, she would have crushed every bone in his hand.

He understood her feelings immediately, but he also knew she needed to calm down. Her blood lust might not have been too strong right then, but if she did not dismiss her anger, it would no doubt creep up on her and the possibility of their outing to Walmart turning into a bloodbath would considerably rise. He did not want to use his power on her if it could be avoided, so instead he immediately slid his free arm around her and pulled her against him.

"Shh, Belle..." he murmured, kissing the top of her head. They were alone in the aisle now, at least for the moment. "They're gone. I don't think they're going to come near us again." He gently rubbed her back. "I'm sorry. I didn't even notice them until after you did."

* * *

Bella still felt her anger lingering even after the girls had realized what was good for them and made a hasty exit. If they looked scared, it served them right. They shouldn't have been staring at her mate like that. For one that was seldom ever really angry, this was new for Bella. She, of course had felt a protectiveness over Jasper even when she was a human and didn't have the means to back it up with much. But this was different. This was much more intense. The emotion had crept up on her so quickly that it was more instinctual than anything else.

When she had been human, she'd noticed the looks that he'd been given too. That made her feel more uncomfortable more than anything else because she felt so inadequate as far as looks were concerned and it was obvious that people were thinking the same thing whenever they would be seen out together. But at the same time, she couldn't really blame anyone for staring at him. She would have been too. He was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen in her eyes, whether those eyes were brown and weak or amber and powerful, allowing her to see him much more clearly.

She had never been a jealous person, especially when it came to the way Jasper looked or the way people looked at him. It just hadn't been in her nature. Discomfort was not the same as jealousy by any means. Never before though had she gotten _angry_. But there was no denying the intense emotion when it overtook her at the sight she'd been faced with. That was new for her and it was no doubt on account of the fact that she was still very much a newborn and her mate came before anything else as far as she was concerned.

Jasper seemed to understand the situation before Bella could even explain it. When he wrapped her up in his arms, she started to feel her body relax, not having realized how tense she was to begin with. She did know, however, that if she didn't calm herself down, that things could wind up very, very badly. Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against his chest and inhaled deeply. His scent was always something that comforted her and allowed her to be soothed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered against his shirt. "I don't know what came over me." That was the truth; she really didn't know how angry she could get so quickly. Now, she was a little embarrassed by the situation more than anything, especially since he confessed that he hadn't even noticed the girls.

"I just didn't like that."

* * *

Jasper understood exactly what Bella was going through. Not just the protectiveness over her mate, but the rush of emotions she was no doubt experiencing right now. It wasn't only because he was an empath, but because he had once been a newborn as well, and also because he'd spent so much time with newborn vampires. Even if his beliefs about newborns transitioning had been compromised, the fact remained that the effects of the change on a newborn were still the same. A vampire experienced emotions on an entirely different level than any human. Bella's anger was a prime example of such a thing.

Even if Bella was progressing along much faster than anyone could have guessed, she still would have to cope with a lot of the things all newborns went through. Everything she felt was going to be to a much stronger degree, as it was now. The fact that she was feeling extreme anger for the first time while inside a very public place was not exactly ideal, but there wasn't much he could do about it now except try to calm her down. If he couldn't do it naturally, he'd use his power, but it didn't seem like he was going to have to take that measure. Something he'd learned was that a lot of how a newborn responded to certain situations had to do with how they coped with things as humans. Bella had never really been an 'angry' person. So while her anger was amplified as a vampire, it wasn't as difficult to calm her as it would have been to try to calm a temperamental individual instead.

He relaxed a little as soon as he felt her do the same. She seemed to be calming down, he could tell, which was a good sign. Especially since it was the first time she'd experienced something like this.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he said gently ran his hand up and down her back, and nuzzled her hair, breathing in her scent as well. He could never get enough of it. "Your emotions are going to be much stronger than what you've been accustomed to in the past. It's going to take some getting used to. But you will."

He gently tilted her chin up so he could look down into her eyes. "I promise. I'll help you always, any way I can."

He took her hand again and started to walk towards the sporting goods department once more. "Let's get the ball and go home. And try to avoid anymore neon thongs."

* * *

**Author's Note: **This was a bit more of a light chapter to give a glimpse into the fun and happiness that exists not only between Bella and Jasper, but their families as well. We're starting to get a bit more of a routine down with our new puppy so hopefully we'll be able to get the next installments out in a more timely fashion! Thank you to all of you who are still reading, as well as to those who have just started to join us! Your feedback means a lot to us! Coming up next is a pretty intense chapter where Bella's will is tested more than ever before, and in Chapter 19 we'll finally be hearing from Peter and Charlotte!

**Lyrics: **Darling Violetta - Spoiled and Rotten


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